My Heart Belongs in Castle Gate, Utah

by Dicken, Angie;

  She narrowed her eyes his way, but he cast his attention on Maria. Leanna swallowed a lump in her throat. They’d grown close in that hour on the hike, but they’d left with more heartache than before. Would he be cold to her the rest of her time in Castle Gate?

  “Oh!” Maria clapped her hands together. “You dance now?”

  “Your mother is having the baby. Go to your room, Maria,” Alex snapped.

  The little girl sulked out of the room.

  “I should go, too. It seems your mother thought I could help. I don’t even know what to do.”

  “She will tell you in time. Or at least, I will translate for her.” He stood with his fists by his side.

  “It is getting late, I should go home.”

  “Please. There are no other women to help. You are the only one.” He softened his tone, but his expression remained grim, like the faces on the icons.

  She pulled the chair out once more and sat down. The longer she stayed in this house, with the handsome man tripping her heart, the longer her walk home would be, and the longer it would take for Salt Lake City to become her home.

  Mrs. Pappas called for boiled rags and Leanna helped Alex, trying to ignore the ache that spread across her chest. Alex nudged her to take them in the room. She hesitated, but he placed his hand on the small of her back and said, “You are stronger than you know, Leanna.” She stepped into the room.

  “Here you go.” She set a bucket next to Mrs. Pappas who sat at the end of the bed, quietly instructing Penelope.

  Leanna leaned on the wall, nerves tumbling and thoughts racing as Penelope began to push. Her mother-in-law prepared for the entrance of their newest family member with rolled-up sleeves and a fresh towel slung across her chest.

  Leanna gasped at the sight of a head, a small head covered in dark hair. The excitement electrified Mrs. Pappas’s squeal and her rambling words. One more push and a baby boy, no longer than Leanna’s forearm, screamed into the stark black coal town.

  His mother wept with joy and his yiayia laughed. Leanna stepped over and helped clean the baby with a warm washcloth.

  “Efcharistó, Meesus McKee.” Penelope’s cheek rested against the fuzzy head of her baby. “Tell Yanni, please.”

  Leanna opened the door and faced three anxious men. Alex, Yanni, and Stergios sat frozen around the table, cards in their hands.

  “You have a fine baby boy.” She laughed as she spoke, elated at the privilege to invite Yanni in to meet his new son.

  Cheers bellowed in the house. Yanni slipped past her. Stergios shouted in Greek as he entered another room. Soon, Maria and Teddy’s voices bubbled with excitement.

  Alex stood up, his curls unruly and his eyes bright with joy.

  “I have never…” Seen anything so beautiful, so perfect. A deep breath rattled her body.

  “Thank you for staying.” He gripped the back of a chair and rocked forward. “It is good for Momma and Penelope to have a friend.”

  Friend? They could barely speak to her!

  “Friend?” Mrs. Pappas stood at the door. “Who? Meesus McKee?” She took Leanna’s face and pulled it down to her level. “You family now!”

  She kissed both of Leanna’s cheeks then turned and spoke to Alex. A cloud shadowed his expression, but when he shook his head no, Momma slapped his arm. “She insists that I walk you home.”

  “That won’t be necessary,” Leanna said, although she hoped he would oblige. Her heart was full. She feared that a quick return to her lonely home would deplete every ounce of joy by the midnight hour.

  “It is necessary with Momma.” He grabbed his coat. “I will walk you to the road at least.”

  “Very well.” She pressed her lips tight, suppressing a grin.

  Dusk fell fast on the makeshift neighborhood, as did the temperature. They walked in silence for long, treacherous minutes.

  “I am in awe of your sister-in-law and your mother. What a family you have, Alex.” She had nothing of the sort. “Your family is blessed.”

  “Ah, remember the words of my mother. It is your family, too.” Alex chuckled. Leanna dipped her chin into her coat and swallowed away a sprout of pity, knowing that words meant less than actions. Soon, she’d be on her way to a new family.

  Alex continued, “Momma and Penelope enjoy being with other women. Even in childbirth.” He laughed again, this time, she joined him. “When will you leave?” His question tumbled out like an avalanche crashing into her joy.

  “After Christmas,” she said. “The Scotts invited me to stay with them until I am settled.”

  “What will all the Greek children do? They must learn good English.” He stopped walking, shoving his hands in his pockets.

  “Mrs. Rudolf is looking for my replacement.”

  “A replacement? For you?” He searched her face, his eyes warm with affection.

  “Alex—” She placed her hand on his arm. “We’ve gone over my leaving—it’s best for both of us, remember?”

  “God’s plan,” he half-laughed. “I just wonder, is it His plan to have such division among us?” Alex mumbled.

  “You’ve thought about our conversation, I see.”

  “We could create good memories, together, Leanna,” he challenged. “And now, my momma will be on our side. She adores you.”

  “But we have a whole country against a match like ours.” She bit her lip at the mention of a match and all that it implied. Alex loomed over her, his broad shoulders and dazzling smile tempting her to linger on the idea.

  “We are strong, you and I. Have we both not proven that?”

  “Our memories trap us, Alex. We are difficult people according to you,” she jested.

  “Perhaps all the good memories could outweigh the bad?”

  “I wish that would be so.” Everything triggered her memory—the smell of coal dust, the ragged miners returning from the shaft, that greasy labor agent filling up the porch of the coffeehouse. She trembled as a breeze sliced through her coat.

  Although, this afternoon was an amazing one indeed.

  “You are shivering.” Alex drew near.

  “See. This place is not kind to me.” She rolled her eyes at her poor joke.

  “Leanna—” He moved closer still, his strong hands resting on her arms. “Jack would have wanted you to be happy. I know it.”

  The mention of her husband welled up bitter tears behind her eyes. “Why? When all I did was make him miserable.”

  “Because, he cared for you. He wanted to provide for you.”

  Anthis’s words came to mind. “I do not deserve happiness, and I cannot bear to find it here. It isn’t fair.”

  “To whom?” He tightened his grip. “To Jack?”

  “Yes, to Jack. I still hate him for what he did to me. Bringing me here because of a gamble back in Boston. But I am no better. I gave him no grace, no kindness when he was alive.”

  He pulled her close, and she didn’t resist. She buried her face in his wool coat, warmed by the scent of firewood trapped in the fibers.

  “I will spend the rest of my life replacing those memories if you stay.” He caressed her cheek with his finger then lifted her chin. Nothing but determination outlined his set jaw. Nothing but desire shone in his vibrant eyes.

  Could he be right? If a Greek family could enjoy God’s blessings in Castle Gate, Utah, then why couldn’t Leanna start anew, on the arm of a capable, adoring man?

  “Alex—” Before she could speak any further, he pressed his lips against hers. His gentle mouth caressed her own with such tenderness—an unimaginable contrast to his strong, chiseled figure. Her stomach leaped as she savored the softness in his movement. She gripped his arms. Firm muscles flexed beneath her fingers, sending her pulse into a frenzy. She melted against his chest. The kiss grew so impassioned that Leanna pulled away with surprise. She stepped back.

  Her old roots of propriety surged with doubt. It had been difficult to leave her class behind with ill-mannered Jack. What troubles would she fac
e crossing a different boundary, one that Mr. Coffey had warned about?

  “I am sorry, Alex. This is not our time. The only thing that feels right about this is based on my heart—not my reason.” She could not look at him. “You even said there was no wisdom in that.”

  “But, Leanna—” He tried to take her arm, but she twisted away.

  “Good night, Alex.”

  The black cloak of night fell on the path ahead, and she walked away from the warmth he offered. When she came to the road, she sighed. Alex would make life worth living in any place—she was sure of it. Her heart was heavier than it had ever been in this town.

  A group of men approached from the direction of the depot. Their low conversation urged Leanna to hurry down the road.

  Their voices grew closer and she walked faster. She did not want to encounter any boisterous miners or troublemaking vagabonds.

  “Mrs. McKee?”

  Leanna groaned and dropped her shoulders in defeat. It was Coffey. At least she was not in danger. She stopped and waited.

  Five men stood in front of her, with Mr. Coffey in the middle. Their breath puffed in the cold air like the smoke of a mining blast. Most of their faces were black with soot. Jack’s usual appearance came to mind. How can I forget? Nausea threatened Leanna to swoon.

  Not here. Not with them.

  “It’s a cold night to be out and about, Mrs. McKee.” Coffey looked around at his friends. “This is a brave woman, boys. She is often caught tiptoeing around at night.” A chorus of chuckles shattered like fallen icicles. A rush of humiliation met her cheeks. Did he know what he implied?

  “And the one who catches me? What is your excuse, Mr. Coffey?” But she knew his excuse by the soot-covered clothes. She cringed at her poor retaliation.

  “It looked like she came from them Greek parts to me,” spouted a younger man with a tall brow beneath his cap.

  Coffey glared at her, his beady eyes filled with hindsight.

  “This was my last day to take the children.” Her spirit fell as she realized that she failed to say good-bye. “The family was tending to a serious matter.” No need to tell these men the details. “And I escorted them home, if you must know.” The dense stares of the miners grew her courage. “Last I knew, you have absolutely no authority over my whereabouts, Mr. Coffey. If you please, I will continue on home.” She swiveled on her heel, only to be caught in mid-spin by Coffey’s quick hand.

  “Ain’t none of my business what you do, Mrs. McKee. But when you get muddled with them scum up yonder, it becomes every hardworking American’s business.” His sour breath offended Leanna, and she leaned her body back.

  “What have you against them? What have they ever done to you?” She understood social prejudices, but this man’s persistence was more than a snub of ignorance.

  “Don’t be a fool, Mrs. McKee. A white woman don’t need to mingle with a Greek. It ain’t proper.”

  “Especially if that Greek tries to move up where he ain’t supposed to be,” the younger man blurted.

  “Hush, Jed,” Coffey spat out.

  Yet Jed continued, “Them boys told me that those Pappas think they’re better than everyone else. Opening a restaurant on Main and all. None of them ’cept the kids and Alex will even learn English. Ain’t American.”

  “No, it ain’t.” Coffey steadied his glare at her.

  She refused to release her own stare. “Jealousy is a dangerous thing, Mr. Coffey. It makes perfectly decent human beings appear rather unbecoming.” Her heart thumped at her bold statement. What would he say next? Or do?

  His nostrils flared, and his lips curled inward. If she wasn’t a woman, she would probably prepare herself for a good fist to the jaw.

  “Now,” her voice trembled, as did her hands, “I must go home. The temperature drops by the second.” And not just from the icy winter.

  She turned to leave, and this time, she was not stopped.

  Her nerves only relaxed once she came to the corner of the restaurant. A wave of comfort overwhelmed her. She’d treasured the few moments about this place, feeling like she was part of this family in a way.

  Salt Lake City would also provide belonging—eventually. Sweet Bethany was sure to make her feel comfortable in no time.

  But for now, as she turned away from the empty building and toward the old path to her current residence, Leanna felt like a child without a home.

  Alex Pappas, good to see you.” A familiar man appeared before Alex as if he’d walked along the track right out of the days from his time on the D&RG railroad.

  “Will Jacob?” Alex shook his hand fervently. He was glad for this reunion—it lightened his dull mood from a sleepless night of newborn cries and his tortured heart. Leanna’s life was over in a mining town like Castle Gate. And his, well, his life was tied to a family with deep Greek roots and expectations. The circumstance had only one logical conclusion.

  Let her leave.

  Then why couldn’t he talk himself out of praying?

  All night he prayed to Someone he’d never wanted to speak to again.

  Even in his work, he couldn’t wrestle away his distress.

  Now, with Will standing here, the man who’d helped him with English using an old copy of Shakespeare’s Greatest Works, Alex shoveled air into his exhausted frame and shook hands with him. “My friend, it is good to see you. What brings you to these parts?”

  “I just came on with Utah Fuel. Overseeing operations in Price Canyon.” Will’s shoulders pulled back a little, his pride shining under his fur-lined frontiersmen cap with long flaps covering his ears.

  “You’re moving up in the world.” Alex laid a strong hand on his shoulder and gave his friend his proudest smile. “And you even have a fancy hat.” He tugged at an ear flap and burst with laughter.

  Will chuckled. “You are doing well also, my friend. I am here to offer you the foreman position over the a.m. shift.” His eyes twinkled at his news.

  Alex’s heart leaped. “What?” He couldn’t contain a grin. After years of working hard—filling carts with maximum coal for weighing, standing in freezing water below the black earth—he had gained enough notice to move into a higher position.

  “I take that as a yes?” Will cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.

  “I—I am so grateful.” He thrust his hand out and shook Will’s with enthusiasm once more. “Thanks, boss.”

  “Don’t thank me. You’ve worked hard. You deserve it.” He patted Alex’s arm then continued toward the small fire in the center of huddled miners.

  What would his father say? He would finally understand that his work paid off and maybe stop pestering him so much. His thoughts turned to Leanna, and a sudden burst of hope filled him to the brim. This promotion was a rolled-away stone from the dark hole of ignorance in this place. He could almost see the light shining brighter not just for him but for all his countrymen, for his family, for the chance to love whom he chose to love.

  Love?

  He shook his head and let out a laugh of surrender beneath his breath. It was true. Alex Pappas was falling in love with the American schoolteacher.

  The chance at convincing his father and other miners that the American schoolteacher was Alex’s perfect match was all the more probable. Could he convince Leanna, though, that she might just belong in Castle Gate, after all?

  “You look more delighted than I do, and I am the proud papa,” Yanni declared, walking up with an armful of broken carbide lamps.

  “Delighted?” Alex crammed his helmet on his curls. “I am very happy. I am the new foreman of the morning shift.” Again, his smile grew large without his permission.

  “Congratulations,” his brother bellowed in Greek. “I am happy for you, my brother. Now we work on that blond beauty becoming a Pappas.” Yanni wagged his eyebrows.

  The hair stood up on Alex’s neck. He looked around. “Hush, we should not tease about that.” Alex shifted his weight and leaned closer to his brother. “Do you think Papa wo
uld relent?”

  Yanni’s happy expression faded into a thoughtful one. “He may find Leanna to be a friend to our family, but he is Greek. I’m afraid even if you owned all of Price Canyon you would still have to fight for his blessing.”

  “Even if Momma helps me?” He sounded desperate and young.

  “Momma?” Yanni shrugged his shoulders. “I think she expects Leanna to be more of a daughter than a daughter-in-law.”

  Alex’s stomach grew heavy. This was true. He knew it, deep down. How much further could he push his parents? The arguing about leaving the church had subsided, but forgetting a Greek bride for their eldest son? Greek parents were more stubborn than any American’s bias. Tradition was steadfast even if the country soil changed. And a Greek wife was a long-standing tradition indeed.

  “Yiayia and Momma ask me bring you koulalakia.” Maria stood shivering at Leanna’s door. Stergios waited at the end of her path, with a cigar hanging from his lips. He lifted a hand in greeting. Maria pushed the tin into Leanna’s hands. “They are Greek cookies.”

  “Thank you, Maria,” Leanna said. “I was afraid I wouldn’t have a chance to say good-bye.” She crouched down and brought herself level with the bright brown eyes watering in the cold. “I am going to miss you.” She wrapped her arms around the girl, who immediately squeezed back.

  “I hoped Thios Alex and you would dance,” she whined. “I begged him to come with me.”

  “You did?” Leanna swallowed hard. “It’s probably for the best—”

  “Maria!” Stergios called out and waved for her to come.

  “Papou wanted to come instead.” Maria took a couple steps away. “You come to the restaurant once more? Please, Meesus McKee?”

  “We’ll see.” She was distracted by Mr. Pappas’s urgency to leave after insisting he come instead of Alex. The man was protecting his son—from her. And the rest of Castle Gate. She understood because she’d also walked away from Alex to protect him.

  Maria returned to her grandfather and gave a sad wave. The two continued down the path to town, passing the grimly dressed Mrs. Coffey. She stepped around Maria, her boots sinking into the new layer of snow.