My Heart Belongs in Castle Gate, Utah

by Dicken, Angie;

  There was only one way she could be sure. She’d have to find out for herself. She barely touched her food. Bethany’s continuous chatter was distant noise.

  Leanna must visit the hospital tomorrow and find out whatever she could. She glanced over at Dr. Scott, consumed by his food.

  Would she witness more of his charades, though? Perhaps her reason to visit would be twofold.

  Dr. Scott stood at the end of the hospital corridor, standing over a silver tray and pulling on cotton gloves. All sorts of tools sparkled in the afternoon sunlight. Leanna prayed for courage as she continued toward him. Her pulse thumped in her ears. If this did not go well, she had only one choice ahead. San Francisco. Perhaps that was where she belonged all this time. But two people stopped her from making a final decision—Bethany, who’d soon need a friend more than ever, and Alex.

  “Good afternoon, Mrs. McKee.” Dr. Scott peered over his glasses.

  “I hoped to visit the Greek miner brought in yesterday,” Leanna said. Her mouth snapped shut. Could she be so bold? The doctor’s manicured mustache twitched and he raised an eyebrow. “And there’s—”

  “Mother Tilton had mentioned your favor for the immigrants,” The doctor interrupted her just as he did so often his own wife.

  She narrowed her gaze. “And you have your favorites, too, don’t you, Dr. Scott?” She instinctively placed her hands on her hips. Employer or not, he was scum. She glared at him.

  He took a step back and straightened his coat. “Mrs. McKee, what is this about?”

  “Ah, I cannot possibly know your secret, can I? How could a person such as myself, the mediocre tutor, know anything of the good doctor’s affairs? And by affairs, I do mean one in particular.” She lowered her voice and leaned forward. “How do you bear the weight of betraying the one woman who’s remained loyal to you all these years? And with a woman whom she’s so cordially invited into your home.”

  Dr. Scott’s lip trembled, and he clutched the silver tray. The clatter echoed down the hall.

  His reaction was satisfying. Leanna continued, “Yes, Dr. Scott. I know.”

  He fumbled for a handkerchief and wiped his brow. “This really is no concern of yours—”

  “Your dear wife is my friend. It is my concern,” she snapped. “Bethany adores you and will do anything for you. If there is any decent bone in your body, you would cut off Miss Mildred Edmond at once. If you do not tell Bethany about your folly, then as her friend and confidante, I must.” Brushing past him, she recalled feeling this justified when she scolded Mr. Coffey for his jealous hatred.

  What would it have felt like to have confronted him after the fire? She never approached him, didn’t even see him after that night. She slipped out of Castle Gate without so much as a squeak of courage.

  Leanna’s mouth was dry like the cotton on the tray. She’d taken courage in fighting for her friend’s heart.

  But what of her own?

  How did she walk away from Castle Gate, months ago, without so much as a complaint to the man who destroyed her second chance at love?

  “Can I help you?” A nurse asked, stopping her at the double doors to the next wing.

  “Yes, can you please take me to where the miners from Castle Gate are recovering?”

  “Of course,” she said and pushed through the doors, waiting for Leanna to pass through.

  The nurse led her to a large room lined with beds. She searched for a familiar face as she walked the aisle. The Japanese miners were sitting up, speaking among themselves. Their faces were covered with scrapes and bruises.

  About halfway down the aisle, she saw Nick. Yes, he was the same man she’d first thought of when Dr. Scott mentioned him. His olive skin was a stark contrast to the white bandage on his forehead. His dark, unruly hair stuck up every which way, and his leg was suspended in a cast.

  “Hello, Nick. Do you remember me?” She took timid steps toward him.

  He stared at her with a look of confusion. She drew closer, unsure if he would know her at all. They never spoke. When she was in the restaurant, though, her blond hair was hard to miss. She stopped and leaned closer. “Do you remember me?”

  “You the schoolteacher?” His accent was thick, triggering a spreading warmth in her heart. How she missed the Pappas family!

  “Yes, I am Leanna,” she said. “How are you feeling?”

  Nick let out a raspy chuckle then winced. “Better than most.” Darkness fell in his already black-as-coal eyes. He squeezed them shut and slowly moved his head from side to side. His hand, smudged with coal dust, gripped his mouth.

  Leanna’s spirit somersaulted and grief stabbed her without even knowing—

  He slid his fingers down and gasped. His eyes popped open, and the whites glistened. “You wonder about Alex?”

  She nodded slowly, taking a step back. Her spirit quivered. It might shatter into pieces at his next words.

  His jaw twitched, and he pushed his head into the pillow. “I do not know. He was not in the count.”

  “The count? For what?”

  “Those who survive.”

  Panic crept in from each side of her. The cold shiver of Jack’s death reverberated from her memory. The morning he had died, she’d scoured the list of names provided by the coal company, but there was no Jack McKee. That was when Alex approached her, his coal-dusted cheeks streaked with tears.

  “I tried, Mrs. McKee. I tried to save him—”

  The darkness of not knowing where Alex was now depleted her sanity. She lurched toward Nick, gripping his blanket. Her throat burned with desperation. “Tell me, Nick,” she rasped. “Is there a chance that he lives?”

  His eyes grew wide again, and he scooted back. “They try to get them out. They find him.” He looked away. “If he’s alive.”

  That evening, Leanna prayed when she heard heightened voices behind the Scotts’ bedroom door. Before she dressed in her nightclothes, Bethany came to her room and explained all that had occurred—that her husband had told her the horrid truth. And Leanna told her what had taken place just hours before.

  “Should I have told you first?” Leanna’s eyes filled with tears, mirroring those running down Bethany’s cheeks.

  “It wouldn’t have mattered.” She gathered Leanna’s hands in hers, sucking back a sob. “I should have known.”

  “How could you have known?”

  “Please, Leanna. Have you not noticed the man whom I live with day in and day out? He was not always this way. Once we settled in at church and began to mingle with his friends, it was as if a stony facade encased him.” She widened her eyes, her brow furrowed with such sorrow. “He said it was me.” She sat heavily on the bed and covered her face with her hands.

  “No. It is not you, Bethany.” Leanna wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “You have no control over his attitude or actions. Those are his choices alone.”

  “But he said it was the way that I am. The less eloquent, the least versed in the ways of the church and formalities. He said…” Her eyes bobbed with fresh emotion. “I am not good enough for him.” She flung back on the bed, her head burrowed in the crook of her elbow.

  “How dare he?” She bit her lip, fighting back an outburst of bitter words. She waited for Bethany to calm, stroking her disheveled hair. “Expectations are great destroyers of happiness—and love.” In a quiet voice, much quieter than the fury within her, she said, “It was you who told me to follow my heart where I am most accepted for who I am. You helped me turn away Boston one last time. Bethany, no matter his criticism, you are who God made you. Do not doubt yourself.”

  “Thank you, Leanna. It will be difficult now—to not doubt. Especially having to spend so much time under my mother’s roof.”

  “You are going to Castle Gate?” Leanna’s stomach jilted.

  “I must. He doesn’t want me here—” Her lip quivered. “Tommy and I will leave tomorrow. You are welcome to come with us. There is room at my parents’. I will continue your pay as long as I hav
e the means.” She sighed then pulled herself up from the bed and turned to leave. With one last glance over her shoulder, she said, “Thank you for being here, Leanna. Funny how my one true friend was given to me by my parents.” She let out a soft laugh. “Everyone has a purpose, I suppose. Even if they do wield the most impossible expectations.” Impossible was a very fitting word. Impossibility and an expectant hope tugged within Leanna.

  “I do hope you will consider returning to Castle Gate with me.” Bethany stepped into the hall. The swift air from the closing door blew a strand of gold hair across Leanna’s cheek.

  Consider it?

  She bit her lip and walked to the window to pull the shade down on a charcoal-gray dusk.

  Consider returning to Castle Gate?

  Leanna had already bought the ticket.

  Castle Gate

  The arid mountain range seemed to lean against the blue sky, threatening to pierce a giant hole against the canvas. How could such majesty wreak destruction at its foundation? A whip of panic licked through Leanna’s core. She stepped off the train, clutching her one bag.

  Main Street was busy with carts and horses and people. None of whom she recognized. Her eyes were hardly open during her early days in this town. And then, once she removed her pride, there was only one place where she cared to know the people here. She hurried along the street, the blazing sun promising a hot summer. Although she’d lived through a Utah summer with Jack, she could only think of the warm encounters with Alex during winter’s chill.

  The restaurant’s newly constructed facade appeared sturdier than before. Leanna marveled at the pristine window as she crossed the street. It was dark through the glass, yet she tugged at the door, and surprisingly, it opened.

  Weaving through the empty tables, silence buzzed in her ears, and her heart was an erratic drum. Each empty chair whispered a horror into her imagination.

  “No,” she shouted out, gripping a chair and making her way back out the door. She must go to the mine.

  “Signomi?” A sniffle in the darkness startled her.

  As her eyes adjusted, a huddled figure took shape at the back of the restaurant. “Mrs. Pappas?”

  Her back was hunched, and as Leanna approached, she could see shaky hands cradling a coffee cup. The woman stared at an icon on the wall.

  “Meesus McKee.” Without looking in Leanna’s direction, she said, “I hope you come.”

  “You do?” She swallowed hard, forcing away memories of all that had gone awry and clinging to the hope that she was still welcome.

  “Maria ask for you. She want you to pray for Alex, just like you pray when George born.” Her reddened eyes searched Leanna’s. “She feel God in your prayer.”

  “I have prayed ever since I heard, Mrs. Pappas.” The whirl of emotion flooded her, and she dropped to her knees beside the woman. “Is Alex still missing?”

  The woman nodded, bulging tears tumbling down her cheeks. “Yanni and Papa help.”

  Leanna wrapped her arms around her. Together they rocked back and forth, Mrs. Pappas wailing into her shoulder. In a desperate motion, she pushed away from Leanna.

  “Go, Leanna. Go to the mine. Beg God to be with my son.”

  Leanna could not move fast enough. The weight of reality pressed down on her feet as she dragged them through the restaurant and up the hill to the mine.

  Alex was still missing, and it had been over a day’s time.

  Please, Lord. Protect him. Give him strength.

  She tried to focus only on the people dotted about the entrance of the mine and not the pile of empty coffins at the far side of the tracks. They waited hungrily, ready to be filled.

  Yanni ran up to her with wild eyes. “Meesus McKee?”

  “Any news?” she asked.

  He shook his head, diverting his attention abruptly and taking a step back. She spun around. Mr. Pappas approached from the crest of the hill, his face unmoved as they locked eyes. A woman ran up beside him, the same woman from the front of the bridal shop. Leanna breathed in deeply, grounding her heels into the earth. From all the wavering in her past and all the silence in her heart, Mrs. Pappas’s plea at least had assured her that God had her here for a reason.

  “Thank you to come.” Stergios tipped his fisherman’s cap as if he were a stranger. His sad face was pale and tired.

  “Of course, Mr. Pappas.” She squeezed his hand.

  The woman stepped forward and took Leanna’s hands. “I am Kara.” She smiled softly. “You, you are Leanna?”

  She knew her name?

  “Maria say you pray?” she said with a thick accent.

  How had such a small prayer on that day of George’s birth impacted sweet Maria? That day was filled to the brim of memories that threaded Leanna to this place.

  “We pray now?” Kara motioned for the men to draw in close.

  They all huddled together. The busy rescue operation continued behind them, but these men and this woman cast expectant looks at Leanna.

  Faith like children—spurred from the testimony of a child. There was nowhere else Leanna should be right now—not Boston or Salt Lake City or San Francisco. All her plans faded in the light of Castle Gate.

  Leanna breathed in a jagged breath. She turned to Yanni and said, “I don’t speak Greek.”

  “Maria says you pray with power.” Yanni crossed his arms on his chest. “We need that now. There’s no time left.”

  Fear jolted through her spirit. She spied the black mouth of the cave over her shoulder.

  A prayer with power.

  “Heavenly Father, pour down Your power on Alex and the other men trapped—” Leanna’s voice broke as Yanni muttered after her, translating her prayer for Kara and Stergios. She begged God silently to give her strength to speak as angst burst within her. “For You did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and sound judgement.” Love. Alex had more love waiting for him than most people. And Leanna’s love, no matter how steadfast, was no match for the love of a father, of a brother, of a soon-to-be wife. She sighed and squeezed her eyes tighter. “Lord, protect Alex. Give him mighty strength to survive this—”

  While Yanni continued muttering, Leanna opened her eyes. Kara stood across from her, her head bowed and her brow determined as she listened. This was Alex’s betrothed. Leanna’s own hands were in the tender grip of his rightful match.

  Yanni cleared his throat. He caught her staring. She flushed and squeezed her eyes shut again. “Lord, give Alex direction now. We pray this in the name of Christ. Amen.”

  Kara’s eyes sprung open when Yanni muttered, “Amen.” She spoke in Greek to Yanni.

  “You are kind to pray,” Yanni said. “Kara says you pray like Alex.” His jaw twitched after mentioning his brother’s name. He sighed then strode over to the mining entrance. Stergios took Kara by the arm and followed his son.

  Alex prayed with Kara? The man who’d cast off prayer because of his unanswered ones for his late wife? Had the same healing Leanna found in forgiving Jack, now moved Alex forward, too?

  Perhaps, this was God’s plan all along—for the coal miner’s widow and the Greek immigrant to break free from their past regret together. They’d conquered prejudice and expectation for a season and arrived at a place of healing.

  There was enough peace in that to secure them for a lifetime apart.

  Leanna tried to convince herself of that.

  Darkness tricked Alex’s mind. Was he awake? Asleep? Dead or alive? A deep breath filled his lungs with the familiar dust that coated him each day. He was pinned in a chamber of rock. His leg throbbed as he tried to shift his position. He was trapped beneath a fallen ceiling. If he reached his head up, he’d bang into rock, and if he tried to squirm forward, pain surged through his leg beneath a heavy weight. He was certainly the prey caught in the trap of a stony monster.

  His fingers traced the low rocky ceiling until he fumbled on the mass above his leg. Could he move it? What destruction would that trigger? Perhaps it
was safer to sit and wait to be rescued, something he had little faith in. He was in a small alcove of the mine. Coffey had called him there, saying that the reinforcement frame was splitting and he needed help.

  Some help he needed.

  “When you gettin’ married?” Coffey had leaned up against the wall with his arms crossed while Alex did the work—alone.

  “Hardly a matter to talk about down here, Coffey.”

  “Oh, right, boss.” He saluted and chuckled. “Too bad that little kitten from your homeland didn’t come here sooner. Save a lot of trouble for you and yours, huh?”

  Alex stopped what he was doing and turned toward him. Was he confessing to the fire? “You are treading on dangerous ground, Coffey.” Alex gritted his teeth.

  “What, Mr. Foreman?” The man held up his hands with a challenging grin on his face. “Don’t let me get you all in a tizzy.” That was the last thing Alex remembered before the room came tumbling all around them.

  His breath caught. Was Coffey nearby? He strained to listen for any breathing. All he heard was his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. He dragged his fingers along the rubble beside him and hit the base of the wood reinforcement frame as solid and upright as before the collapse.

  How ironic that the very thing he had tried to repair, survived such a disaster. If it hadn’t been destroyed by the fall of rock, then he knew where the entrance of the tunnel was according to the location of the post. He grabbed a fist-size piece of rubble at the left of his hip and placed it next to the post.

  “Show me the way out,” he muttered, squeezing his eyes closed then mumbling a prayer from his heart. “Lord have mercy,” he said the supplication rising from his memory of liturgy. God was near. He could feel Him. The bright memory of Leanna beside him at the Castle Gate formation and the glow of her face as she sung in the pew overwhelmed him with strength. Such light, such beauty. He craved the light.

  He must find his way out.

  He continued moving rock, over and over. A small pinpoint of light suddenly pierced his eye. He worked faster. Gratefulness poured from his heart as the dot of dim light became penny-sized, then the size of his palm, then bigger and bigger. He could make out the rock around him, the ceiling above him. His throbbing leg was lodged between the ground and a flat sheath of rock. When he tried once more to wiggle it free, the pain pierced straight through his kneecap.