Between Love and Loyalty

by Shannyn Schroeder

  The elevator doors slid open. Aiden stood in front of him and all calm, practiced thought fled. Anger and resentment bubbled up, so he swallowed hard. “Aiden.”

  Neither extended a hand. Aiden barely offered a nod of acknowledgement.

  “My office is this way. I assume you don’t want to have a discussion in the hall.”

  “Whatever.” He followed Aiden.

  Aiden glanced over his shoulder and said, “Thanks for coming here. I had a late meeting, and I have a conference call coming in at seven, so leaving would be difficult. It was too much to explain in a text, so I didn’t.”

  Connor didn’t respond, but he understood Aiden’s reasoning. Aiden’s office was big and decorated to express success. Connor couldn’t see the Aiden he knew comfortable in this space. Brady Cavanagh would be at ease here, but Aiden?

  Aiden gestured to a chair, but Connor couldn’t sit.

  “I’m glad you called. I’ve been wanting to reach out to you, but I wasn’t sure how you’d react.” Aiden leaned against the edge of his mahogany desk.

  “Worried I’d kick your ass?”

  “Maybe a little.” Then a slight smile turned the corners of his mouth and Connor saw a glimpse of his friend.

  “I’m here because of Fiona. She told me she laid out an ultimatum to your family. I had nothing to do with that. I have no desire to be with your family for Thanksgiving or any other holiday, but it’s important to her.” He jammed his hands into his pockets. Standing there, he knew he and Aiden appeared as opposites. Aiden with his classy suit and styled hair and Connor with his dusty jeans and sweaty T-shirt.

  “You haven’t told her.”

  It wasn’t a question, so Connor didn’t know how to respond or what Aiden expected.

  “Why not?”

  Why hadn’t he? The simple answer was because he loved Fiona. “Telling her wouldn’t accomplish anything. Like your father said, we had an agreement and we both upheld our end. If I told Fiona, I doubt it would’ve affected on my relationship with her, but it would cause a rift between you and her. Regardless of my feelings about you, she cares for you. When all the shit with your family hit last week, I knew she couldn’t handle the extra lies and secrets.”

  “I appreciate it more than I could ever say. Is that the reason for your visit? To tell me our secret is safe?” Aiden stood with his arms crossed as if readying for negotiations. His father must love seeing this side of him.

  Connor paced. He still wasn’t completely sure of his reasons for coming here, but he knew it had to happen. Part of him needed to know he wouldn’t feel the urge to attack Aiden, and he didn’t. More than anything, he felt a deep sadness over lost friendship. “I love your sister.”

  The words came out strong and clear. Aiden probably shouldn’t have been the first person he declared his love to, but what the hell. “I need to know that you and your family won’t try to sabotage it more than you already have.”

  “I have no plans to do anything, and you should know by now I can’t speak for my parents. They’ll do whatever the hell they want.”

  Connor stepped closer to Aiden and studied his old friend. “Make sure they know that if they try to ruin this, Fiona and anyone else who’ll listen will know the truth.”

  “Are you threatening me?”

  Was he? Connor hadn’t necessarily meant to, but yeah. What were his other choices? Beg? He knew better. “Take it any way you want. If I lose Fiona, I’ll have nothing left, so it won’t matter.”

  Connor turned away and headed for the door.

  “I’m sorry, you know.” Aiden’s words were quiet, but stopped Connor. “I was young and fucked-up.”

  Connor turned back to Aiden. “So was I.”

  The comfort and confidence Connor had seen in Aiden disappeared.

  “I never meant for you to go to prison. I just didn’t want to go. My dad gave me a way out and I took it. I didn’t even know what he’d done until it was over.”

  “That’s bullshit and we both know it. You could’ve ended it at any time. All you had to do was come forward.”

  “I was scared. And you never seemed to be. Nothing ever got to you.”

  Connor huffed out a breath that almost sounded like a laugh. “I wasn’t brave. I was stupid. I thought I’d make a quick buck off your dad and go on my way. It never occurred to me that I’d lose my entire life.”

  “I lost those three years too. Everything I did for three years was self-destructive. More than usual even for me.”

  “I lost a fuckload more than three years. A felony never goes away. People look at me like I can’t be trusted, like I’m still a criminal. Most never even ask what I went to prison for. My entire life has been limited by one stupid choice.” The anger he felt fizzled. He saw the sorrow etched on Aiden’s face.

  Connor’s feet were rooted in place. “If you were so bothered by everything your father designed, why did you disappear? Not one visit in three years.”

  Aiden rubbed a hand across his mouth. “I couldn’t face you. I couldn’t face everything I’d done, so I pretended none of it existed. Abandoning you was the shittiest thing I did. You deserved better.”

  It should’ve made Connor feel better, but it didn’t. “Yeah, well, none of it matters now. Life goes on.”

  “Does it?”

  Connor’s eyes narrowed.

  “You say you love my sister, but part of me thinks you’re looking for revenge.”

  Connor looked at the floor. Like everyone else, Aiden couldn’t believe he’d changed. Guilt tugged in his chest remembering how he’d planned to use Fiona to do that. “The thought crossed my mind. But then I got to know her and I realized she’s nothing like the rest of you.”

  Aiden shifted against his desk. “So you really love her?”

  Connor nodded.

  “Where do you see this going?”

  “I have no fucking clue. But it’s up to me and her.”

  “I can respect that, but my father won’t. He never liked you, never saw what I saw, what Fiona obviously sees. Watch your back.”

  “Threatening me?” Connor’s gaze locked on Aiden’s face offering a cold hard stare.

  Aiden shook his head. “No. It’s a friendly warning. I have no idea what my dad is capable of. Not anymore.”

  The phone on his desk rang and Connor backed up a step. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

  Connor left unsure if the meeting actually accomplished anything. It didn’t feel like much, but it had been a long time coming.

  * * *

  Connor stood in his living room and stared at the couch and then at the bare walls, trying to decide how to arrange his meager furniture and where to hang the new flat screen TV. After he’d left Aiden, he’d gone shopping. He wanted his house to start feeling more like a home. Having Fiona there made a difference.

  He shoved the couch to spin it again as she walked in. He looked at her from over his shoulder. Her broad smile made something turn over in his chest. As she unwound a scarf from her neck, she asked, “What are you doing?”

  “I finally got a TV for in here and I’m deciding where it should go. Any ideas?” He straightened and leaned against the back of the couch.

  She tossed her coat on the newel post and came to him. Something felt so right about her coming home to him that all he could do was gather her in his arms and kiss her. She melted against him the way she always did. With his hands on her ass, he said, “I think I like your ideas.”

  “I wasn’t suggesting anything. I simply wanted to say hello.”

  “Well, hello then.”

  She pushed away from him and turned in a circle looking at the space as if she hadn’t seen it before. She pointed to the wall he’d been considering for the TV. “If you put the TV there, the glare from the sun will hit it depending on the time of day.” She moved to stand near the windows, and pointed to the wall adjacent. “But if you put it there, you can have the couch here. The room would still be open and airy.” />
  But the position put his back to the door, which made him uncomfortable. “What if I put the couch directly in front of the TV?”

  “It could work, but having the couch in the middle of the room might make it feel smaller.”

  He spun the couch again and slid it back a little. The space behind the couch made a walkway to get to the kitchen and the room might’ve felt a little smaller, but he lived alone. How much space did he need?

  Fiona flopped on the couch and picked up an imaginary remote. She pointed at the wall and pretended to click. She tilted her head as if she watched TV.

  She was so damn cute.

  “You’re right. This is a good spot.”

  He joined her on the couch and decided the TV could wait. “What are your plans for tonight?” he asked while shifting closer to her.

  She twisted on the couch, creating more space between them. “I drove by my condo today. The coast is clear. Although the investigation is ongoing, no one seems interested in me.”

  “That’s good.” He laid his hand on her thigh and began massaging.

  She covered his hand with hers to stop the movement. “It’s safe for me to go home. I came here to grab my stuff.”

  She was leaving? Connor blinked a few times. She wasn’t leaving him. She was just going back to her own house, where she belonged.

  But it felt like she belonged here. “You don’t have to go. I like having you here.”

  “I appreciate you letting me stay and hide out from the craziness, but—”

  “But nothing. My house has plenty of space. I have a whole bedroom upstairs that isn’t used.”

  “What are you saying?”

  What was he saying? He had no idea because he hadn’t planned this. He just knew he didn’t want Fiona to go. “I guess I’m asking you to move in with me.”

  “You guess?”

  He nodded. Probably not the most romantic offer, but it was real. “I like having you here. I don’t see why we wouldn’t make it permanent.” He searched her face. “Unless you don’t want to?”

  Connor studied her face and waited for an answer. As usual she was open and he saw the argument in her eyes. She wanted to be here with him, but she was unsure if they were ready.

  “It’s kind of fast, don’t you think? I mean, we only met each other a little over a month ago and for more than half that time, I lied about who I am.” She played with his fingers still on her leg.

  “Not about who you are—only your last name. Everything else was true. I could see that, which is why I wasn’t too upset.”

  She sighed. “But then there was all my family drama. It’s like we haven’t had the opportunity to be a normal couple.”

  He had a feeling they would never be normal, but he didn’t feel the need to say it. “At least think about it. There’s no hurry. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “That’s good to know.” She interlocked her fingers with his.

  * * *

  The rest of the night, Fiona’s head was filled with questions. Connor’s invitation seemed to come out of nowhere. Sure, they’d been practically living together for days, but it had been out of desperation on her part and kindness on his. Living together was a huge step. As often as she thought she’d fallen in love with a guy, she’d never taken that step. Things always fell apart before she could get there.

  Then there was her family and the fallout she’d have when she announced she was living with Connor. She waited for panic to hit her at the thought of the inevitable confrontation, but it didn’t happen. Maybe she really did no longer care what her parents thought.

  She’d helped Connor hang the TV in the living room. Well, she’d mostly stood there and handed him tools, but she offered suggestions for art for the walls and a rug for the floor. He told her to go pick out whatever she liked. What guy told a woman to decorate his house if he wasn’t serious about living with her?

  She rolled over in Connor’s arms and watched him sleep. The biggest question pounded down on her. Did he love her?

  He cared for her and desired her, but he didn’t talk about his feelings. Maybe he never would. He’d been up front about not being a sharer. What she couldn’t decide was how important the actual words were. Did she need to hear them?

  Being in Connor’s arms, in his bed, in his house, felt natural and right. She felt more at home in his space than she did in her parents’ house and she’d grown up there. The enormity of the decision and this next step in their relationship stayed with her, though. What if a few weeks from now, he decided she was too clingy or he couldn’t handle her family?

  “What are you doing awake?” he whispered without opening his eyes.

  “Nothing.”

  “I can hear you thinking. It’s loud. Some of us have to work in the morning.” Although his eyes remained closed, the corner of his mouth quirked up.

  “Sorry. I’ll try to turn it down.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “You don’t have to decide now. Forget I asked if it helps. It’s okay.”

  She tucked her head under his chin and burrowed into his warmth. She’d never been cautious about much in her life, why was she doing it with Connor? “You might regret asking.”

  “Nope.”

  “A few weeks of looking at my jewelry mess might drive you over the edge.”

  “Does that mean you’re moving in?”

  A smile took over her face because she had been stressing over the way things should be instead of listening to her heart. “If you’ll have me.”

  He shot up and slipped her over. So much for him being asleep. The man moved like a ninja. His body pressed hers into the mattress. “You know I’ll have you.”

  Instead of following with a smirk, he kissed her gently and reminded her why she loved him.

  Connor’s morning routine woke her, but she was more alert than usual. Maybe because she’d been getting more sleep. Connor was an early-to-bed, early-to-rise guy, the complete opposite of how she lived. It was another reminder of the adjustments they’d have to make.

  He sat on the edge of the bed and tied his boots. “Coffee’s made. I already let Max out, but since you’re here, he’ll get you to let him out again.”

  When he stood, he got quiet, like he was preparing for something. “You haven’t changed your mind about moving in, have you?”

  “In the last few hours while I was asleep? Nope.”

  He leaned over and planted a quick kiss on her lips. “When do you want to bring your stuff over?”

  She shrugged.

  “How about this? You go grab a couple of bags today and then this weekend I’ll go with you and we’ll pack up.”

  Because he’d distracted her with excellent kisses last night, she hadn’t considered the logistics of moving in with him. What was she supposed to do with her stuff? And her condo?

  “Uh-oh. I know that look. What’s wrong now?”

  “I didn’t think about what to do with my stuff and if I should sell my condo. I can’t pay two mortgages.”

  “If it’ll make you feel better, keep the condo for now. Maybe sublet it. Take your time deciding what to do with it, as long as you’re here while you’re thinking. I don’t need your help with my mortgage. I didn’t ask you to move in because I want your money.”

  Nothing like having a pushy man. “Okay. I’ll bring my clothes today. Where should I put them?”

  He straightened away from her. “Wherever you want. The closet’s empty. All my clothes are in the dresser. Move whatever.”

  No way could he be this laid back. Maybe she’d leave her stuff in suitcases until they brought her furniture. She didn’t want her moving in to displace him.

  While her mind headed into planning mode, Connor had headed toward the door. “I should be home by six unless I run into problems. Are you going to be around all day?”

  “I might stop by the outreach center. I miss the kids.”

  “See you when I get home.”

  Fiona loved heari
ng those words more than she thought.

  * * *

  Sarah looked up from whatever boring forms she was filling out and smiled at Fiona. “You look happy.”

  “I am. I was relieved to see no reporters lurking around here. Has it been quiet?”

  Sarah laid the papers down in front of her. “They came back when the second story broke about the investigation into your dad, but nothing since. I was going to call you and tell you the coast was clear, but I figured you’d need time to deal with your family stuff.”

  Fiona plopped into the chair in front of Sarah. “I tried, but failed, so I’ve been with Connor this whole time.”

  Sarah’s eyes narrowed. “This whole time. Like in his house without him?”

  Fiona could barely contain her excitement. Ever since Connor left this morning and she began planning what to bring from her apartment, everything felt so real. “He asked me to move in with him.”

  “What?” Sarah jumped out of her chair and came to the other side of the desk to sit beside Fiona. “When? What did you say?”

  “He asked yesterday when I pointed out the reporters were gone from my house and I could go home. I told him yes last night. Or I guess it was technically morning.”

  Sarah’s lips pulled down. “Please tell me you didn’t make a decision like this while in an orgasm-induced haze.”

  “No. Although the celebratory orgasm was so worth it. I was going back and forth in my head about whether it was the right time, or if we were moving too fast. But then I listened to my heart. It feels right with him. I love him.”

  Sarah settled back in her chair and folded her hands on her crossed legs. “You’ve been in love before and I’m not aware of you ever considering moving in with a guy.”

  “No one ever asked before, or let’s face it, I would’ve. At first I wasn’t sure if he was sure, but Connor doesn’t make a move unless he’s sure.”