by Lisa Simmons
"Yeah."
I sighed, deciding I'd rather go get him than leave him there to call some other girl for a ride.
"Okay, where are you?"
He told me the address, which happened to be pretty close to the last one we had been too. I couldn't help but think he probably could have easily walked home, but it made me happy that he had called me anyway.
"Alright, I'll call you when I'm there," I told him before he agreed and hung up.
Ten minutes later, I found myself driving awkwardly slowly by the party, which was still going in full force. It really wasn't that late for parties, all things considering; they usually went until at least 2 am, so it struck me as odd that Reece wanted to leave so early. Not that I was complaining. I called him and told him I was outside, to which he slurred a response before hanging up, the last thing I heard was his booming laugh ringing through the phone. I wondered what it was that had made him laugh.
Shortly after he hung up, his long frame appeared in the front door of the house, his gait wavering slightly as he walked toward me. The second he swung the door open and threw himself into my car, the strong scent of alcohol flooded through my nostrils. He looked the most relaxed I had ever seen him, and his eyes were a bit glazed over. He was clearly much more drunk than I had thought.
"Hiiii baby," he said happily. He had definitely not been this intoxicated every other time I had seen him drink. Despite his drunken state, I couldn't stop my heart from fluttering when he called me 'baby.'
"Hey, boozie," I returned, trying not to laugh at his sluggish behavior.
"You smell pretty bad," I added with a laugh.
"Some stupid girl spilled her drink on me," he grumbled, wiping clumsily at his black jeans.
"I'm sure that's the only reason why..." I said playfully as I started driving toward his house.
"Don't take me to my house," he suddenly requested.
"Why not?"
"I wanna hang out with you," he said. I would have been surprised at this admission if it wasn't so obvious at what he meant by "hang out." It was clear by the way his hand was starting to snake up my thigh that he meant have sex.
"You're drunk," I said, as if he didn't know.
"I can still make you feel good, baby," he said lowly, his voice rumbling deeper from his chest as his fingertips pressed into my inner thigh. I tried not to squirm in my seat and focused on keeping the car on the road.
"I believe you," I muttered, feeling my body start to cave to him already. "But you're drunk."
He groaned and leaned back in his seat, withdrawing his hand from where it had been inching closer and closer to my center.
"That's probably best. You should stay away from me."
I blinked, taken aback by his statement. "Why?"
"Because."
"Because why?" I pressed.
"Because. I hooked up with someone earlier."
My heart pounded painfully in my chest, hearing the exact words I had been dreading hearing all night long. It had happened, just as I had feared, and it hurt way more than it should have.
Chapter 11
I tried to control the hurt that was slowly forcing it's way through my body, making my pulse pound, my breathing ragged, and my stomach twist into a painful knot. He hadn't just said what I thought he'd said, had he? The way I was reacting to his words told me that I had very much subdued the feelings I'd begun developing for him, my attempts to remain unattached backfiring tremendously.
It appeared as if I did indeed care very much that we were nothing more than friends with benefits, but I couldn't let him know that, especially now that he had admitted he'd just hooked up with someone else.
Along with the hurt, I felt a flash of anger run through me. Why the hell did he think it was okay to call me to hook up right after he'd just slept with someone else? The thought made me sick.
Because. I just hooked up with someone earlier.
I had yet to respond to him because I was afraid my voice would crack, betraying how much his words had actually cut me.
"Oh," was all I managed to say. Pull it together, Abigail. Don't let him know you're upset.
"Are you mad?" he asked from beside me. I could feel him staring at me as I drove toward his house. There was no way I was taking him back to mine after what he'd just admitted; I couldn't.
"No," I lied. He stared at me some more before responding.
"Okay," he said. I caught a hint of skepticism in his tone, which irritated me. I was actually mad, but the fact that he thought I was annoyed me; it's like he thought I wasn't capable of being just friends with benefits or whatever he wanted to call us.
"You can do whatever you want," I told him, my tone slightly harsher than I had intended, my true emotions leaking through.
"Yeah..." he muttered, finally tearing his gaze away from me. I took a breath of relief. It was so hard to keep my cool composure under his studious watch.
We had reached his house now, so I pulled into the drive way and put my car into park but left it running, making it clear I wasn't coming inside with him. He unbuckled his seatbelt and started to open the door before stopping when he noticed I didn't move.
"Aren't you coming inside?" he asked, closing his door again and leaning across the seat toward me.
"No."
"Why not?" he asked, once again sliding his hand up the inside of my leg, inching closer and closer to where I wanted him yet didn't want him all at the same time. The thought of him touching me usually would drive me insane with need for him, but now I just felt... flat. A bit disgusted actually, because not so long ago his hands had been busy attending to someone else.
It occurred to me I didn't know exactly what he meant by 'hooked up,' the vague expression not telling me much, but I knew Reece well enough to know it probably wasn't the more innocent definition.
His hand reached the seam of my sweats I was wearing, his palm putting pressure on my center as he let his lips fall to my neck, their soft actions raising goose bumps on my skin before I twisted away from him. When I turned my face to look him in the eye, his alcohol tinged breath fanned across my face as I took in his confused expression.
"I'm tired," I lied. If he wasn't so drunk he probably would have easily seen through my lies, but I could see in his glazed expression that he wasn't at his sharpest. His eyes searched mine intently and I fought the urge to look away.
"You're mad," he stated quietly. Shit. So much for him not seeing through me.
"I'm not, Reece. We're not anything, you can do whatever you want." My voice was flat as I spoke, any emotions I was feeling forced from my tone. He studied me further, his expression unreadable.
"Please come inside," he said gently, his tone surprising me. We just sat there in silence, staring at each other, while I tried to get my breathing to even out. I wanted to go in with him, despite everything he had just done, but I had to have some pride, right?
"Please," he begged. My heart gave a painful thud at his tone. He sounded... sad.
"Okay," I replied before I really thought about it. It looked like my pride was going to have to take a backseat, although I decided right there that I wouldn't sleep with him tonight. Not after he'd only been with someone else hours ago. A small smile crossed his lips as I turned my car off and copied him as he climbed out of it.
A thousand and one thoughts raced across my mind, the main one being stupid, stupid, stupid, as I followed him up to his house. I watched his wide shoulders shift as he unlocked the front door and pushed himself through. He stumbled through the darkness, tripping over who knows what before a light switch flicked on, flooding the room with light from the lamp he had turned on.
He loped into the kitchen, immediately opening the cupboards and pulling out some bread to make himself a sandwich. I sat myself on one of the stools beneath his counter, resting my head on my hands as I watched him.
"It's not what you think," he said suddenly. He sto
od across from me, his eyes focused on the sandwich he was making, diligently not looking at me.
"What's not?" I asked, nerves on edge as I prayed he'd have some explanation for what he'd said earlier.
"I didn't sleep with someone, I know that's what you're thinking," he said flatly, his green eyes flashing up at me briefly before returning to his hands.
"Okay..." I said, hoping he'd go on. I couldn't stop the hopeful spark that flickered through me.
"Okay."
I rolled my eyes. Of course he wasn't going to willingly explain any further. "So what did you mean, then?"
"About what?"
"Oh my god, Reece, what did you mean when you said you hooked up with someone?" I said exasperatedly. I couldn't tell if he was being difficult on purpose, out of habit, or because he was drunk. Probably a combination of all three. He didn't answer for a long time, eating his sandwich while I waited impatiently. He had it nearly finished by the time he answered me.
"This girl, I don't know who she was, kissed me and I kissed her back because that's what usually happens but it felt... weird."
My heart clenched painfully at the thought of him kissing another girl. Sure, she'd kissed him, but he just admitted he'd kissed her back. I reminded myself, for what felt like the hundredth time, that he had no attachment to me and could do whatever he wanted, but that didn't soothe the sting of betrayal I felt. He ate the last bit of his sandwich and moved out of the kitchen before coming to stand in front of me.
I could still smell the acrid scent of alcohol leaking off of him; it made my brain feel dizzy when it combined with everything else I was trying to absorb. I needed some time to think about what he'd just said before I responded, not wanting to handle it the wrong way.
"I think you need a shower," I told him, completely changing the subject. He blinked, an eyebrow raising as he looked down at me. Again, his eyes flitted between mine as he stared at me intently. Instead of making me feel uncomfortable, all I felt was a desperate need to know what he was always thinking when he did that.
"Alright," he said, surprising me by grabbing my hands and pulling me off the seat. He led me down the hall, tripping once over a rug on the way. It was strange how sometimes he was so clumsy and light then the next second he'd seem completely sober and serious.
He turned into the bathroom and perched himself against the counter, leaning back and closing his eyes as his head tipped back. He took a deep breath and made no moves to get the shower started.
I sighed heavily as I ripped my gaze from the way his jaw stood out sharply when he did that and moved to start the shower for him. He didn't react at all as the sound of the water pelting down on the tub resounded throughout the small bathroom. The temperature was quickly rising as the water heated up, and I anxiously crossed over to Reece.
"Reece," I said gently, gripping his arms and uncrossing them from his chest. He tipped his head back down and opened his eyes to look at me.
"Take a shower," I instructed. I sucked in a breath involuntarily when he let his hands slide across my hips and pulled me against him. He ducked his head to my ear, his lips pressing into the hollow below it before speaking quietly to me.
"Join me," he requested. My blood heated in my veins as he spoke, his suggestion very tempting, but I had to think. I needed a few minutes away from him.
"Take a shower, Reece," I told him, using every ounce of will power to pull myself away from him and exit the heated room, a final glance back at him showing him staring after me with a furrowed brow and a frown on his lips.
I shut the door behind me and leaned my back against it, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I was relieved he hadn't actually slept with someone, but still upset over the fact that he hadn't tried to stop this mystery girl from kissing him. Worse, he'd kissed her back.
His admission that it had felt "weird," however, gave me some hope. As soon as he was out of the shower, I hoped he would explain more, because I desperately wanted to know what he had meant by that. I found myself in his living room, not wanting to go searching for his bedroom when he had yet to bring me in there.
I sat down on the couch, leaning my elbows on my knees and resting my face in my palms. What was I going to do about this? It was quickly becoming apparent that I was more attached to Reece than I had realized, and it scared me. I had already gotten so hurt by someone before, and I really didn't want to throw myself into another volatile situation that was probably even more likely to end in heartbreak.
On the other hand, I had never felt such a burning need to be near someone before; was that feeling worth the risk? Knowing very little about how Reece felt was only hindering my thought process, forcing me to explore my options with very little to consider besides hypothetical situations.
A creak in the floorboards caused my head to snap up; I nearly choked when my eyes focused on the sight of Reece clad in only a towel hanging low on his hips, his chest glittering with droplets of water from his shower and his hair hanging down messily around his ears. His tattoos stood out sharply against his skin, finally on full display when I wasn't caught in the heat of the moment. He looked so beautiful I could hardly breathe.
"Come here," he requested before turning and disappearing down the hall, not bothering to wait for me. I let my palms slide off my face as I stood and followed him. A dim light leaked out of a room down the hall that I assumed he had disappeared into.
When I walked through the door, I saw that he had pulled on a loose pair of gym shorts and was roughly running the towel over his hair. He dropped it to the floor, leaving his hair a haphazard mess of dark waves atop his head.
I hovered in the doorway before he rolled his eyes and flicked his head backward, indicating I come in. His room was small and relatively simple, but neat. Posters of bands I had never heard of were hung on his walls, and a rather large bookshelf sat against one wall, laden down with books. His bed was actually made neatly, the white down comforter hanging evenly off the frame. There was nowhere else to sit, so I sat gingerly down on the edge of it.
He came over and flopped down next to me, laying on his back with his long legs dangling off the edge. I tried not to stare at the deep v of muscle that disappeared into his shorts or the sharply defined ab muscles that flexed and relaxed as he breathed, but it was difficult. I had to hold myself back from running my fingers over his skin to feel the way he was put together because it didn't seem possible that he was real.
I felt awkward sitting there while he laid down beside me so I copied him, falling to my back on his surprisingly soft bed. I could tell by his subdued behavior that the shower had helped sober him up tremendously. Nerves flashed through me as I steeled myself to restart the conversation I had paused so abruptly.
"What do you mean, it was weird?" I asked quietly, my breath so weak that my voice was barely audible. He seemed to be expecting my question because he hardly reacted at all. I dared to glance at him out of the corner of my eye to see that he was staring intently at the ceiling, his lips pressed into a hard line as he thought.
"It just felt weird," he said vaguely. Disappointment flashed through me; I didn't know what I wanted him to say, but that wasn't it. I didn't reply as I let his last statement sink in. We were silent for a while before he spoke again.
"I wanted it to be you."
My heart jumped beneath my ribs excitedly. That was what I had been waiting to hear, that was what I'd been hoping he'd admit since the second he started this conversation.
"You did?"
"Yeah," he said quietly, still not looking at me. "I've never... wanted it to be someone before. I don't really know how to deal with it."
"Usually not by kissing someone else..." I said lightly, my tone finally sounding a bit happier now that he was opening up a little.
"Yeah, probably not the best idea," he admitted. I jumped slightly when he rolled to his side, resting his weight on his elbow as he hovered next to me. His eyes were burni
ng into mine just as they were the very first night I had met him, his gaze searing through my veins all the way down to my toes.
"I don't know what I'm doing," he said quietly.
"That's okay," I responded, my voice no louder than a whisper. My heart was pounding so hard I was surprised it didn't drown out the sound.
I held my breath as he lowered his head, his lips inching closer and closer to mine. I couldn't hear anything besides my pulse pounding in my ears when he closed the gap between us and pressed his lips lightly to mine. Fire flooded through me as his lips folded around my own for a few seconds before he pulled back an inch.
His eyes flashed up to mine, the close proximity of his face and the feel of his lips on mine clouding my mind and making my body feel heavy. The tension between us was so strong I could hardly breathe until he finally succumbed to it once more and pressed his lips back against mine.
This kiss was so incredibly different from each of our previous kisses, which had been heated, desperate, and out of control; this kiss was slow, burning, and had an actual emotion besides lust building behind it.
His lips fit perfectly against mine as he kissed me slowly, his hand snaking up to gently hold the side of my face. I felt his tongue slide gently across my lower lip, the slow movement of it raising goose bumps across my entire body. The way he kissed me now made me feel the lingering stirrings of emotions deep in my chest, the connection I felt to him coming alive and blazing through me.
My hand rose to rest on the side of his ribs, the skin there soft and warm and still slightly damp from his shower. He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue slowly into my mouth as his body shifted to press into me more, but he didn't try to touch me anywhere. His lips closed around my lower one and pulled back lightly, breaking our kiss before placing a final kiss to my lips.
His breathing was heavy as he looked at me, his expression alive and alert. It was as if he had never really kissed anyone like that before- with no intention of leading to anything more besides the purpose of kissing someone to actually feel it.