Badboy Romance

by Lisa Simmons

  “Good enough. Let’s go,” he said flatly as he drained the rest of his beer and threw it on the counter, not bothering to throw it in the trash can mere feet away. Again, I didn’t respond as I followed him to the door, turning to lock it behind me before throwing the keys into my purse. It felt strange to be outside of my bed, much less out of my apartment. The fresh air outside felt strange as it entered my lungs and I found myself wishing for the familiar, stale scent that had fallen over my room after days of continuous inhabitance. I wanted desperately to return to my numb blackness and fall even farther into my isolation, but instead I followed Jack to his car and climbed in the passenger seat. Neither of us spoke as he started the car and pulled out of the lot. My eyes stared out the window and I caught my reflection in the glass. I looked like a completely different person sitting next to him- hollow, lifeless, cold. I hated it. I wanted to ask where we were going but decided I’d rather not know as we drove through town, the houses we passed slowly evolving into the shabbier, run down versions of the houses in most of the town. We were in the one area I probably wouldn’t feel safe wandering around on my own in and I couldn’t even manage to be surprised. The area was small, only a few blocks in radius, but it was menacing. I had no doubt that’s where he’d been staying. The houses that flashed by grew dirtier and more decrepit, complete with lawns scattered with mattresses, old furniture, and overflowing garbage cans. I tried to ignore the creeping apprehension in the pit of my stomach but it was nearly impossible as he pulled to the curb to park his car. The house we were outside of was one of the worst in the area; the windows were dark with blankets covering them in place of curtains, and far too many broken chairs were placed in a circle in the yard. Empty beer cans were piled in the center of the chairs as if whoever had occupied them hadn’t cared enough to throw them away. Jack didn’t speak as he got out of the car and I briefly considered refusing to get out before I saw his impatient face in my window. He tapped the window with his knuckle, raising his eyebrow and scowling at me before I opened the door. Once I was out of the car, he turned and started toward the house while muttering something bitterly that I couldn’t decipher. I followed reluctantly, terrified of being left alone on the street even if it meant following Jack into this house. I could hear the undertones of music coming through the cracks in the house as we neared, the beats heavy and low and decidedly disturbing. Jack pushed his way through the door, throwing his shoulder harshly into it before it burst open with a loud creak. The house was small and we were immediately in the living room and kitchen combined area as we moved through the frame. It was dark, very dark, with only a few scattered lamps that cast distorted shadows across the floor lighting the entire area. From what I could see, people, some of who I recognized from Jack and Samuel’ little crew, were huddled on the sagging couches and metallic folding chairs as they gathered around a coffee table. They looked up at us, their expressions intense and paranoid before they recognized Jack.

  “For fuck’s sake, you gotta fucking knock dude,” one of them said. Unlike a few of the people gathered around the table, I didn’t recognize this one. He had brown hair and a pale face with full lips, but what caught my attention immediately were his eyes- they were a piecing, almost electric shade of blue more beautiful than I had ever seen, but something in them was off. Shadows similar to mine rimmed his eyes, and they appeared slightly sunken, as if they hadn’t always been that way but something had caused their potential beauty to be diminished. “My bad,” Jack muttered before gripping my arm tightly and dragging me to the remaining empty seats on one of the mismatched couches. I noticed the peculiar set up and was momentarily confused; all the seats were faced toward the coffee table between them despite a rather large, expensive looking TV mounted on the wall. There was hardly any room left on the table, however, because it was strewn with empty beer cans, bottles of liquor in various stages of consumption, and several ashtrays. Jack pulled me down to sit next to him and I flinched when his thigh pressed tightly against mine. My eyes scanned around the couches, noting five people besides Jack and myself. There was only one other girl present and she had draped herself completely over the man with the piercing blue eyes. I wasn’t even sure if she was conscious until she let out a strange cackle of laughter seemingly out of nowhere, making only me jump. No one else reacted. “So you’re Abigail,” said the blue-eyed man. His eyes drifted lazily over my frame, assessing me slowly before leaning back causally and throwing his arm around the girl. He took a drink of the drink he held in his hand while nodding slowly. “Yeah, you’re Abigail.”I blinked slowly, unsure of how to respond. “Yes.”

  “Abigail, Liam. Liam, Abigail,” Jack introduced before reaching forward to grab a bottle of whiskey. He pulled the lid off and took a long drink, not even flinching when the bitter liquid hit his tongue. “That’s Owen, Wyatt, and....”

  He trailed off, squinting at the girl before cocking his head at Liam as if asking who she was. Liam just shrugged casually, his unnerving gaze shifting slowly between Jack and I. He didn’t appear to know her name either. She let out another strange giggle as her head rolled awkwardly to the side, her temple landing on Liam’s shoulder while her hands dipped low down his stomach. She didn’t appear to realize that no one really knew who she was, or if she did, she didn’t care. A sudden realization struck me that these were the people who had backed up Jack’s threat of hurting Reece. These were the threatening people who had the means to end his life if they so wished. These people were dangerous. My heart gave a heavy thud of trepidation and I resolved myself to remain calm.

  “Where’s Samuel?” Jack asked, the mention of his name sending a chill through me. As if I wasn’t already uncomfortable enough in this musty, dark house with these disturbing people, there was now the potential for Samuel to show up and make it even worse.

  “Coming,” Liam said. He was the only one to speak yet and it was clear he was the leader of the group. Owen and Wyatt- I wasn’t sure who was who- just sat there and continued to take pulls of their drinks. Jack nodded beside me and took another pull.

  “Have a drink, Abigail,” Liam added, nodding at the table full of mysterious alcohol.

  “No thanks.”

  “Oh come on, don’t you want to celebrate your new relationship? You’re all Jack’s talked about for ages,” he said smoothly as his eyes darted briefly to Jack’s. He spoke in the same unnervingly calm way that Samuel did, the same tone Jack would occasionally slip into before the constantly simmering rage broke through the surface. It was terrifying.

  I took a deep breath to hold myself back from reacting, my stomach clenching painfully at his words. The idea of calling this arrangement between Jack and I a ‘relationship’ made me feel physically ill. Liam was watching me closely, his clear eyes monitoring for the slightest sign of dissatisfaction. Slowly, I leaned forward and grabbed a beer, by far the safest option on the table. While they appeared to all be drinking from the bottles, I didn’t trust them. At least the beer was sealed before I opened it. A cold grin pulled at Liam’s lips when I took a sip that I nearly choked back up when Jack threw his arm across my shoulders. His touch made me recoil before I reigned in the reaction, quickly fixing my features to hide my initial reaction. I sat stiffly next to him while he took another drink. No one spoke for a while as everyone stared at me, the dissonant music cushioning the silence. Liam looked as if he were thinking deeply about something and had just opened his mouth to speak when a knock sounded at the front door.

  Again, everyone looked startled as they whipped their faces towards it before a voice sounded from the other side.

  “It’s me,” the familiar voice said. I shivered. Samuel.

  “Alright,” Liam called, his voice cutting through the music loudly enough for Samuel to hear and push the door open. Almost immediately, his eyes locked on mine and an evil grin spread across his lips.

  “Abigail, Abigail, Abigail. So glad you’ve finally decided to join us,” he said giddily,
his brown eyes not reflecting the grin on his lips.

  “Yeah,” I said simply, ignoring the twist of my stomach when he spoke to me. I tried to cling to the numb emptiness I had endured for the last few days once the aching pain seemed to plateau, but it was quickly slipping as fear crept in. As the numb leeched out of my body, the familiar pain began to take its place. I wasn’t sure exactly when, but at some point it had gotten so bad that I had grown used to it. Not anymore, however, as I sat there and stared into Samuel’ dark eyes. He moved through the small, crowded room and dragged a chair over to the table, plopping himself down and digging through his pocket, fishing for something.

  “Wait,” Liam said, stopping him. “You cool, Abigail?”

  I blinked in confusion, unsure as to what he was really asking.

  “She’s cool,” Jack said, nodding at Liam and taking yet another pull. My heart thumped heavily again in my chest. Samuel resumed his searching before pulling his hand from his pocket, a small plastic bag clutched between his fingers. Apprehension flooded through me when I saw the fine, white powder contained in the bag. He tossed it to Liam, who caught it easily with one hand before holding it in front of his face to inspect it closer.

  “Nice,” he said approvingly, nodding at Samuel. I shifted my eyes to Jack’s face and was scared to see he didn’t look the least bit surprised. My attention was drawn back to Liam as I heard the clinking of bottles and cans being shifted, the source of the sound coming from the table as he cleared a space. I watched in horror as he ran his hand over the surface, wiping away any droplets or dust that may have lingered there before dumping the contents of the bag onto the smooth top. The group shifted in agitation, their bodies leaning in closer toward the table as if drawn to the substance. Their eyes were all fixed hungrily on the powder while I wanted to run as far away as I could.

  “Here,” Jack said suddenly, leaning away from me momentarily to pull out his wallet and pull a card and some cash from it before handing them to Liam. He accepted them immediately, using the card to separate the powder into thin, even lines. I didn’t even know how to react as I watched, shocked and scared of what I was seeing and about to see. I had never seen someone do drugs before, but here it was, unfolding before my eyes. If this was what Jack had been up to, it explained a lot: the sudden weight loss, the flashes in mood, the irrational behavior. While it explained what might have pushed him to this level, it didn’t excuse anything he’d done. He was still very much insane on his own, and drugs certainly hadn’t helped. I wanted to run away; I wanted to leap up from the couch, sprint out the front door and never stop. I didn’t belong here in this house full of people I didn’t know, drugs I didn’t want to see, and a lingering terror that was quickly growing to consume me. This wasn’t where I was supposed to be, and I had never been so afraid to be somewhere in my life. Like the rest of the group, my eyes were riveted on Liam’s hands as he perfected the lines he’d created. He brought the edge of the card he’d used to his nose, plugging one side with his finger before inhaling deeply to get the remnants of the drug, however miniscule, off the plastic of the card before handing it back to Jack. He sniffed once more before rolling the cash tightly to form a type of straw, his fingers working skillfully as if he’d done this a thousand times. My jaw fell open in shock as he bent over, placed the rolled bill to his nostril and held the other side before snorting the line of powder up the tube. He sat up, scrunching up his nose while sniffing continuously before shaking his head vigorously. I jumped when he let out a euphoric whoop, his face lighting up so suddenly it shocked me. He handed the bill to the man next to him, Owen or Wyatt, and clapped his hands together once.

  “Fuck yes, good work Samuel,” he said happily, reaching forward to shake his hand. Samuel looked extremely pleased with himself as he gloated in the praise. I watched, my expression surely that of awe and horror, as the rolled bill was passed around the circle, each person successfully snorting their own line of what I assumed to be cocaine. I couldn’t be sure, seeing as I’d never seen or experienced drugs before, but that was what I strongly suspected. It was now Samuel’ turn and he copied the rest of the group without hesitation. The powder disappeared up the tube as he sat up and pinched his nose lightly, sniffing aggressively after he’d released it again. He blinked a few times before grinning widely and passing the bill to Jack. “You keep your fucking mouth shut,” Jack said to me darkly, his voice dripping with threat as he leaned toward my face. My jaw clamped shut in a stunned reaction. My mind could hardly make sense of what was happening and how I had gotten here that I seemed to have lost control of my body. I sat completely still, my muscles frozen in place and ridiculously tense as I watched Jack divert his threatening gaze from my eyes down to the table.

  He repeated the motions I’d now seen several times to the same affect: the thin, white line disappeared as he inhaled deeply before sitting up. He sniffed, shaking his head and scrunching his nose much like the others had before rolling his head around in a full circle. I watched in absolute horror as he handed the rolled bill to me, his face expectant. I couldn’t move as he waited for me to take it, my arms refusing to move. He couldn’t be serious. My eyes fell to the table and I was horrified to see one line left. The table full of greedy eyes watched me closely, waiting for my reaction as if secretly praying I would decline so they could have it for themselves. My mind buzzed blankly as I searched for something to say to decline without pissing Jack off.

  “Um, I’m alright, thanks,” I said slowly, shaking my head gently. Jack let out an irritated huff before grabbing my hand aggressively and shoving the bill into my palm.

  “Do it.”

  "You're gone and I gotta stay high all the time to keep you off my mind."

  Chapter 64

  "Do it."

  My eyes widened in terror as they darted frantically between my shaking hand holding the bill, Jack's face, and the horrifying white substance lined up for me on the table. There was no way I could do this. I'd never done drugs nor had the urge to do drugs, and now, surrounded by people I didn't know and was terrified of, was not the time I was going to start.

  "No," I said more firmly as I tried to hand the bill back to him. His eyes locked on mine, freezing me in place. He looked livid that I was defying him in front of his friends.

  "You'll fucking do it," he said coldly. I glared back, using every ounce of strength I had not to back down; it wasn't much, however, because of the crushing numbness that had taken me over. I started to feel light headed under the intensity of his gaze. He looked slightly insane, his already unstable nature accented horrifyingly by his drug use.

  I swallowed harshly, my body absolutely frozen in place as I thought of how far my life had sunk. Here I was, forced into a relationship with the man I hated more than anyone in the world, sitting in a circle with a bunch of cokeheads while they tried to force me to join them. All I could feel was a cold, numb shock and fear. No warmth, happiness, hope, anything. It was bleak.

  How was it possible that only days ago I'd been the happiest I'd ever been in my life? Was it really only a week ago that I had the love of my life, the other half of me, for what was surely only the start of forever? My life had hit two complete opposite ends of the spectrum in a matter of a week and I didn't know if I would ever recover.

  I might as well just give up. What did I have to really live for anyway? Maybe this would make me feel something besides hollow.

  I was about to take the bill from Jack and cave to his demands when someone else spoke.

  "Don't make her, dude. It'd just be a waste," the voice said. I sucked in a breath of relief, beyond grateful to whoever had spoken. My eyes searched the circle until they locked on Liam. He was watching me closely, observing my reaction and noticing my obvious relief. His astonishing blue eyes held mine for a second before darting back to Jack's.

  "Let's split it," he offered, appealing to Jack's obvious desire for more. Jack stared at him for a long time as if sile
ntly trying to decide what he wanted more: for me to take the line or to have it for himself. Liam's offer won out in the end, because he nodded slowly before bringing the rolled bill to his nose. I tried to stop from crying with relief that I hadn't had to do it as I watched him inhale half the line and pass the bill to Liam, who quickly inhaled the rest.

  I flinched as Jack threw his arm around me again. His skin felt clammy against mine where it touched and instantly felt the urge to take another shower. I didn't like him touching me- it was like any contact with him only sent me further and further into my blank, emotionless state.

  What I wouldn't give to have that gut-wrenching pain back again; at least then I would know I was really alive. Now all I felt was dead.

  "Next time, I won't be so easy on you," he said in my ear, his voice deadly quiet. A chill ran through me as I tried not to react. I could feel my nostrils flaring slightly as my breath forced its way through my nose, my jaw clamped to tightly to allow any passage. I felt oddly calm and very close to a nervous breakdown all at the same time.

  I could feel him watching me, his eyes lingering on my skin from beside me. It took everything in me not to shift away from him because I knew that wouldn't make him happy. This was what my like had become: trying not to piss Jack off too much. He finally seemed to use up his attention and turned away from me, allowing me to take the first full breath since the whole drug thing had started.