A Rich Man's Baby

by Daaimah S. Poole

  I took Camille’s advice and went and took a long, hot shower. I came out of the shower and just sat in a ball with the lights out and cried myself to sleep.

  When I awoke, I called Kevin some more. He would not pick up. I know he saw my number. All I wanted to do was talk to him. His ignoring me hurt so bad. All I needed was closure; for him to just tell me why. A simple why? All I wanted to know was why her and not me? I needed him to talk to me and explain this shit to me. I couldn’t wait for him any longer. Kevin was going to give me answers one way or another.

  By that night I had wiped away my tears. I was done crying over his pathetic ass. I jumped up off the bed, went into the bathroom, and washed my face. I dried my hands with my rose-colored monogrammed towels. For a moment, I thought about Terrance. He had no idea what was going on. I shook my head and then reached to the back of our closet. I pulled out the black case. I set the gun case on the bed, opened it, and just looked at it. The black handle was hard and rigid. I could see a distorted reflection of myself in the shiny silver part. I placed the gun in my hand. It was heavier than I remembered. I aimed it at the wall, then walked over to my closet mirror and looked at myself. I aimed it again as I made a pow, pow noise and squinted my eyes. I acted like I was shooting my image. I then sat on the edge of the bed and loaded the gun, one bullet at a time. Kevin should know better than to mess with me. I was tired of him playing games with me. I was tired of waiting for him to call me back. He needed to see how good I was. He needed to hear me out. He needed to stop ignoring me.

  I am a good woman. I am a real good woman, and he will know it. How is he letting that woman live my life and have my baby? Yup, it was over for him. He wasn’t going to hurt anyone else. It had to end today, and I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care, I don’t care, were the only thoughts that ran through my head.

  I stopped at 7-Eleven and got a coffee. I was dressed in my pink jogging suit. I got back in the car and began driving. I didn’t listen to any music on the way to Kevin’s house. I didn’t want it to disrupt the loud chatter already going on in my head. One side of my brain was trying to convince me to turn around and go home. The other side was telling me all the reasons I should make him pay. I took a look at myself one more time and convinced myself I was doing the right thing.

  On my ride to his house I thought about what I was about to do. I sat with the gun on my lap and rubbed it back and forth. I took a deep breath. I didn’t know what exactly I was going to say to him, but I knew he was going to listen. After we talked, he could decide if he was going to stay with her or get back with me.

  If he didn’t want to talk to me, then I didn’t know. I just didn’t know. But he will talk to me.

  I walked toward his door with my gun in my bag. I pulled it out and tapped on the door with the tip of the gun. Kevin must have been expecting someone because he opened the door without asking who it was. He was surprised to see me.

  He looked at me, frowned, and said, “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “We need to talk,” I said.

  “We have nothing to talk about. Look, I have moved on and you need to move on too. You need to leave before Tanisha gets here.”

  “I don’t want to move on, and I’m not going to.”

  “Dionne, you have a fiancé. Move on.”

  “You know you were supposed to be with me, Kevin, like before. Like when we were in college.”

  “Dionne, for real, I don’t have time for this. You are trippin’. I don’t want to call the cops on you. This is not worth jeopardizing your career. Now this is the last time I am going to say it: Leave.”

  “All I want to do is talk.”

  “We have nothing to talk about.”

  “Yes, we do,” I said as I exposed the gun and he backed up. I moved toward him. I came in and closed the door.

  “Oh, you really crazy now,” he said as he stood in the middle of his living room.

  “No, you crazy. Sit down. I told you, we need to talk.”

  “I’m not sitting down shit. Get the fuck out. I don’t care if you have a gun. It’s probably not real.”

  “Sit the hell down. Now, before I make you sit down and show you how real it is,” I demanded.

  “So you going to shoot me?” he asked, perplexed.

  “I might.”

  Kevin began realizing I was not playing, so he sat down and said, “Okay, let’s talk. What do you want to talk about?”

  “Well, first, why did you leave me? Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you try to work it out? I am supposed to be your wife. Remember, you told me that? You said it was me and you. Remember when I used to sit up and do your homework? When I gave you money? When I rubbed you down after every game? Now you can’t even talk to me for five minutes. You said, ‘When I make it, you won’t have to work.’ Do you remember that? Did you mean any of that? Don’t you still love me? I mean, all those years. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Don’t you still care about me?”

  “I do care about you. I still love you, Dionne; but listen, I got a family now. We just didn’t work. I mean, think about it. You met somebody else first.”

  “So what? I might have left him for you. We broke up a lot of times, Kevin.”

  “But we not kids no more. Grown people don’t go back and forth. We love each other, but we are not made for each other. I realized that.”

  “I don’t want to get over us. We used to be so perfect. Remember we would stay in my dorm the whole weekend, just you and me? And remember how we used to drive down to and visit your mom, and we hardly had enough money for gas and tolls?”

  “Yeah, I remember all that, but it is over.”

  “It is not over. Don’t say that, Kevin. That’s why I came over here, so you can see that it is not over. That me and you are still the same. We need each other. I need you, you need me. Right?”

  “No, Dionne, it’s over. It’s really over.”

  “So that’s it?” I thought us reminiscing would change his mind. “So there is nothing I can say. You are not going to take me back?”

  “No, I’m not going to take you back.”

  “Kevin, I am so sorry I didn’t go with you to Europe. I’m so sorry, please forgive me,” I pleaded with him.

  “Dee, none of that matters anymore. We are over.”

  “So you don’t want to be with me?”

  “No, and I’ve had enough. Dionne, get that gun out of my face right now,” he shouted, less afraid of me and the gun.

  “You never cared about me, Kevin? You never loved me? Well, I’ll tell you one thing, you’re not going to keep disrespecting me,” I said as I held up the gun toward him again.

  “Disrespecting you? You walk up in my house and point a gun at my head, and I’m disrespecting you,” he said, shaking his head like I was amusing him.

  “You disrespected me by having a baby and moving this trifling bitch in. She is not even fucking worthy. She got kids, she been married, she doesn’t have any education. Look at me, Kevin. I am great! I am an attorney at twenty-seven years old. Look at my body—it is perfect. I’m perfect. I gave you everything. And you want to treat me like this? Are you out of your damn mind?”

  Kevin walked closer to me, and I cocked the gun. “Don’t come close to me. I will shoot.”

  “So, what? You going to kill me?”

  “Yup, you are not going to embarrass me anymore.” I took a few steps back and opened the door and looked around down his block and driveway. There was nobody out, and it was quiet except for the sound of crickets in the dark summer air. I raised the gun up to the middle of his chest. I didn’t hesitate. I pulled the trigger and he instantly fell to the floor. His body made one hard thump on the floor. He fell and began grabbing his legs. He looked up at me as blood emerged from his jeans. I could tell he was surprised I actually shot him. The second shot must have really shocked him, because he didn’t move at all. I ran out the door to my car. As I backed out
of the driveway, I saw his neighbors running over to his house. I looked in my rearview mirror and raced down the road. I reached City Line Avenue and made a right on Lancaster Avenue. I had one down and one to go. Her ghetto ass was not going to be walking on this earth either. I got to the hospital, and who did I see walking toward her car?

  Chapter 68

  Tanisha

  Jarell had to stay in the hospital for a few more days after I was released. Since he was a few weeks early he still had a little fluid in his lungs. They wanted to keep a close watch on him and treat him. I sat next to the incubator. The monitors were attached to Jarell’s little body. His heart monitor was beeping. I grabbed his little hand and said a prayer. I didn’t know why, but I felt like it was my fault he was in there. Like God was paying me back for plotting on his daddy. I knew this whole situation started out wrong, but it turned out good. I loved Kevin, and I didn’t try to get pregnant, but I didn’t stop it either. I just wanted my baby out of here. They said he would be there for at least another week. All the staff has been so great and good to us.

  His nurse, Nancy, walked up to his incubator to take his vital signs. She had on purple and white scrubs with teddy bears. She unwrapped her stethoscope from her neck and placed it on his chest.

  “He is doing fine. Won’t you go home and get some rest?”

  “So you’ll be with him the rest of the night?” I asked.

  “No, his nurse will be Kathy tonight. I’m about to get off. Oh, and by the way, thanks for the tickets. My husband is going to be so happy.”

  “You’re welcome, just continue to take care of my little guy,” I said as I stood up and kissed his hand one more time. I collected my belongings and exited the hospital. I turned on my cell phone and called Alexis.

  “Alexis, is Kierra asleep?”

  “Yeah. Mom, you know I have to go and register for my classes tomorrow, so can you pick up Kierra?”

  “Where is Jamil?”

  “He’s not here yet.”

  “Just take her to school and I’ll pick her up.”

  “Mom, how is the baby doing?”

  “He’s fine. I’m just leaving the hospital now. Maybe you can come and see him tomorrow.”

  “I will.”

  “Well, have Jamil call me when he gets home. I’m on my way to Kevin’s house. I’ll give you a call when I get there.” I was exhausted. Balancing two households was crazy. My plan was to have everyone under one roof when Jarell came home. Jamil only had one more year of school, and Alexis was out the door and about to be living on campus.

  I couldn’t wait to get home and relax. The minute I walked into the house I was going to fall into Kevin’s arms. I found my car in the crowded parking lot. I hit the remote and opened the car door. I put my seat belt on, and a woman jumped into the passenger seat with a silver and black gun pointed at me and told me to drive. I was so scared I froze.

  “Start this car and drive!” she yelled as she placed the cold metal barrel to my head. I snapped out of it, and started the car up and backed out of the parking space.

  We went to the parking attendant. I couldn’t find my ticket, and I wasn’t trying to find it. I wanted the parking attendant to look and see the gun, maybe even call the cops.

  “Listen, Miss, you can have the car and you can have my money. Please, just let me out here. Miss, I can get you whatever you want,” I begged

  Who was the crazy woman, and what did she want from me? She didn’t look like a criminal or carjacker. She even spoke well. Why was she trying to rob me?

  She laughed at me and said, “Bitch, please. Can you get me my man back?”

  “Your man?”

  “Yeah, my man. You stole Kevin from me. I warned you to leave him alone.” You know what I’m talking about, you got my notes.

  A tingle went through my entire body.

  “Bitch, you took my man. You ruined my life. You embarrassed me. I’m an attorney, you ain’t nothing. But even though I have everything, he wants to be with you when he can be with me.”

  I didn’t know what to say to her. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. He didn’t tell me he was involved with you. Please don’t hurt me, please don’t kill me.”

  She screamed as she pointed the gun in my direction.

  “Shut up and make a left at the light. Get on the expressway.” She seemed like she was trying to find somewhere to go, and I followed her commands. I didn’t want her to kill me. My mind raced back to all the crazy letters that she wrote about having a bullet with my name on it and six million ways to die, choose one. I didn’t want to die. I thought about crashing the car. But how about if the gun goes off and I kill us both?

  “Get off here,” she said as we exited the expressway. Then she instructed me to pull over next to a park by the stadium. I started reasoning with her again. I didn’t want to die. I kept praying to God.

  Get out!” she yelled. I got out and contemplated running, but I didn’t want to get shot in the back and I probably wouldn’t make it very far. I could still barely walk. Maybe I could just reason with her. She told me to walk toward a tree in the park.

  “Listen, I don’t know what happened between you and Kevin, but let’s talk about it.”

  “There is nothing to talk about.” She walked behind me. “I am Kevin’s only one. Don’t you get it? He is not going to be with you. I’m not going to let it happen.”

  I was now convinced she was going to try to kill me. I wasn’t going to let her. I had to do something. Her saying that was confirmation. I had to see my baby. I had to live another day to see my children. I don’t know what came over me, I just ran up to her and tried to take the gun from her. We wrestled and I punched and bit her. She swung me around and kicked me in my stomach. Then I fell. I pulled her to the ground with me and just pulled her hair and kicked her. I felt her reaching for the gun; then it went off and she stopped fighting back. I stood up and backed away. Her body was just lying in front of my feet. I kicked her, and she didn’t move. I dropped the gun and looked around.

  “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. What am I going to do? I killed her! Oh my God, she tried to kill me.”

  I dropped to the ground and turned her body over. There was blood everywhere. I got it on my hands and clothes. I thought about calling the cops, but they might not believe me, and then I would go to jail. I knew my fingerprints were on the gun, so I picked it up and ran back to the car. I got in, covered with blood, and put the gun on the front seat. I just wanted to go home to Kevin, but somehow it seemed like that wasn’t going to happen. I didn’t know where I was going. I called Kevin, and he didn’t answer his cell phone. I dialed him again. I couldn’t think.

  I drove straight to Adrienne’s house. I took the gun from off my seat and placed it in my bag. I knocked on her door.

  She answered the door, looked at me, and said, “Oh my God, what’s going on? Did Kevin hit you?”

  “No, this woman came up to me in the hospital parking lot and got in the car with me. She said I stole Kevin from her. Then she said she was going to kill me. Now she is dead.” I sobbed.

  “What? What woman?” she said as she pulled me into her house.

  “It was the girl with all the notes. They were from his old girlfriend. She tried to kill me, and I shot her, and I think she is dead.”

  “Where is the gun? Where is she?”

  “The gun is right here.” I removed it from my bag.

  “Listen, first things first, take that mess off.” She pushed me into the shower. Red blood turned pink as it flowed off my body and into her drain. I cried and shivered. I never wanted to kill somebody. I just wanted to go home. I wished this never happened. Why did I do this?

  I came out of the shower and Adrienne dressed me as I continued to cry. I put on her jeans and a black shirt. I began to pace back and forth in her living room.

  “Where did you leave her?” she asked.

  “In that park down by the stadium.”

  “Did anybody
see you?” she asked.

  “No, I just left.”

  “Okay, first we have to make sure she is dead. She might not be dead. If she isn’t, we can get her to a hospital and we can fix this.”

  We left in her car. We drove back down the expressway. I couldn’t stop shaking. I actually started praying that maybe she was breathing. Maybe the woman wasn’t dead. But the minute we turned into the park, I saw dozens of red and blue lights flashing and yellow crime-scene tape. My heart jumped. I couldn’t even turn to look. I slid down in my seat.

  “Where is she? What are they doing? What do you see? She must be dead. Oh my God, I’m going to jail.” I just began coughing and crying.

  “You are not going to jail.”

  “Yes, I am. I have to turn myself in. My children have lost their mother. I have to call Kevin,” I rambled on.

  I called Kevin again and he still didn’t answer.

  “Tanisha, snap out of it. Listen, nobody saw you at the park. They have no way to know you were there. You can go home like nothing happened. We have to get rid of this gun. They collect the trash every Tuesday and Thursday at my old apartment. Let’s go dump it there.”

  We went to Adrienne’s apartment building. I took the gun out of the bag. Adrienne took out baby wipes from her glove compartment and wiped the gun down back and forth. Then she took newspaper out of the backseat and wrapped the gun up and threw it in the Dumpster. I felt relieved. Adrienne was right—if they didn’t have a gun and I didn’t say anything, how could they track it back to me?

  We were on our way back to her house when my phone began ringing. It startled me. It was Alexis’s cell phone. I had to answer it.

  “Mom, where are you? The cops just left here. They said they need to speak with you. They said it is real important and to call them.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right there,” I said as I hung up the phone.

  “What’s wrong?” Adrienne asked.