Where She Belongs

by Asrai Devin

  Gabe put his hand on her neck and stroked the skin just under her ear. "I don't know what to say to you. I really want you to be happy, but I'm also selfish. I think I can make you happiest." Before she could form a reply, he kissed her. She let him kiss her. When she didn't respond, he let her go with a sigh. "Sorry. I broke my promise."

  She took his hand. "I have to think."

  He pulled back a little. "I don't know whether I should tell you. When you started dating Trenton, he was barely staying in school. After you were on the scene, his marks skyrocketed."

  Shanna felt a chill crawl up her spine as her stomach started churning. She flung herself back. "How did you check into his marks? What? Why? Gabe."

  "I wanted to see what you were getting into."

  "You had no right to do that." Her nails bit into her palms and tears threatened her eyes. She grappled for the door handle.

  He grabbed her hand. "Shanna, I know that it wasn't right. But I thought you needed to know. You may hate me for a while, but I didn't want you to go back and keep carrying him. He's been using you for years."

  She yanked her hand away. "Don't touch me. Don't talk to me." She grasped the handle and pushed the door open.

  "I love you," he yelled after her.

  Fuck you. She didn't say it. She stomped across the lawn and crashed the door open. Her mother ran for the door and met Shanna halfway to the stairs. "Sorry, I had a horrible evening. Gabriel Brande is a selfish asshole."

  "What happened?" her mom asked.

  Her dad was ten steps behind, slowed by his recent hospital experience. His voice thundered over everyone else's. "What's going on?"

  "Gabe stuck his nose where it doesn't belong. I don't care why. I'm not talking with him ever again." There was a knock on the door. "Ever." She looked at her dad pointedly.

  Bryce nodded. "Alright. I'll go talk to him."

  "What happened?" Rita asked after her husband had gone.

  "I don't even want to think about it. I'm going to take a bath, then I, surprise, have a bit of work to do before bed." She looked at her mother. "You know what? To hell with work. I'm going to come and watch television with you and Dad. All I've done since I've been here is work. Maybe I won't go to the office tomorrow."

  "I thought you had that conference call tomorrow."

  "Oh, damn it. Well, I'll go in for that, then take the rest of the day off. I'll take you and dad out for lunch."

  Rita Whittikar smiled. "Alright, you let me know."

  Shanna knew her mom was placating her, but she snuggled into her mom's arms. She rested there a moment then disengaged herself. She needed to get away and cry. She'd been through the gamut of emotions tonight: joy, peace, anger, love and sadness.

  Love? "Can you start my bath please?"

  Her mom nodded and left the room. She could hear her father and Gabe still talking in the foyer. She closed the door and broke down in silent sobs, or at least as quiet as she could manage.

  She'd loved Gabe since she was a teenager. She loved him now. She was dying to run out of the room and tell him everything in her heart. His interference tempered that desire a little. She didn't want to love him. She wanted to go back to Toronto and live out her life plan. Now she didn't know what she wanted for the future.

  After a few minutes she dragged herself off the floor and undressed. She wrapped her robe around herself, ready to head for her bath. Her dad waited outside the room for her and he glanced at her. "I don't want to hear his excuses."

  "I know why you are upset."

  "No, you don't. He's fucked everything up and he's made it worse by telling you everything."

  "I'm sure he didn't tell me everything. Look, I wanted to tell you I understand."

  "Maybe I can talk about it tomorrow. Tonight, I want to forget everything."

  She went back into her room and closed the door. She listened to her dad's footsteps as they retreated. Once she felt alone, she lay down on her bed and cried again.

  * * *

  Shanna wrapped her hands around her coffee mug as she looked at her papers again. She tried to shift the pages around but her fingers were shaking too much.

  She sat in the conference room looking at the empty chairs around her. There were only a few people in on the call today. Her dad was really pissed that he wasn't in on the final call, as he had done most of the work for this contract.

  Gabe hadn't attempted to talk to her this morning. She didn't know whether that made her happy or sad. She missed his reassuring presence at work. She was merely supposed to be sitting in on this call, not doing much talking.

  The door opened. She looked up and saw Gabe.

  "Oh, I didn't know anyone was in here. I was just going to check the equipment."

  "It's fine. Come in," she said, trying hard to keep any emotion out of her voice.

  He sat across the table from her, near the conference phone and played with the buttons. "Shan―"

  "Let's not talk about it. It's my last day here. I don't want to fight with you. You are my best friend, I don't want to lose that."

  He sighed. "Okay." He looked at his sheets. "I hate this thing."

  "Here give me the sheet and let me see." She glanced at the sheet then pushed the correct sequence to test the phone lines. "See, everyone needs a good assistant."

  He sighed again, then held up his hands. "I won't fight. How about you take the lead on the call?"

  Her stomach flipped and she thought she might throw up all over the table. "What?"

  "Take the lead. You know what terms we want. You do it."

  Her heart pounded in her ears, making her feel as if she was in a tunnel. She shook her head. "I-i-i-i can't, Gabe. No, that's,... bad idea, bad, bad. No, no, no."

  "It's a perfect idea. You'll be fine."

  She shook her head. "Gabe."

  The door opened and the two other managers joining the call filed in. Gabe clapped his hands. "That's settled then. Shanna's going to lead the call for us."

  The two managers looked at Gabe, then at Shanna, then at each other. "Okay," said one, slowly.

  "She's done all the work with me the last two weeks on this one. This is mostly for show anyway."

  Gabe took his paper back from in front of her. "Okay, let's do this, people." He smiled at her as he dialed the number. She glared at him.

  Chapter 11

  The call lasted twenty-three and a half minutes. To Shanna it seemed like a lifetime. On a gut feeling, she asked for nearly double their original price increase.

  When she said the number, Gabe's jaw drooped and he stared at her. He reached for the conference phone and started to open his mouth. She pinned him with a stare and shook her head.

  "That's more than we agreed," Randy McCorely from HomeZones said.

  She couldn’t look around the room, couldn’t face Gabe. She was insane. She ruined everything. Blood thundered through her ears. She pressed forward anyway.

  "It is, but I think we can all agree we have a superior product. It's worth the cost."

  "I think you can come down a little from there. Say ten percent."

  She nearly slid out of her chair from relief. She hadn’t fucked everything up. She had made them more money than she could have imagined.

  "Five," Shanna countered. She was pretty sure she needed to throw up.

  There was silence for a moment. "Seven," someone said on the other end.

  Gabe looked at her with a hard line to his mouth. He nodded. Take it. Shanna waited a moment more. "Alright, we have a deal. I'll have Rachel amend the papers and send them to you right away for you to sign."

  Shanna leaned back.

  "You drive a hard bargain, Miss Whittikar. Exactly like your father. The company will do well under your authority,” Randy said.

  Gabe smiled at her while shaking his head. Shanna's heart was racing. God, she'd done it. She'd led the call and gotten them a third more than they'd originally intended.

  Gabe ended the call with his thanks and
closed the lines. The two managers, who hadn't said much, shook Shanna's hands then left.

  "I can't believe you did that," Gabe said.

  "Did what?"

  "Asked for double what we wanted."

  "I know. I had the thought before I said the number so I went with it."

  "It's above the rest of the market."

  "Whittikar Cabinets are above the rest of the market."

  He shook his head again. But he came around the table and hugged her. "I would have never guessed you'd have the guts to go that big."

  “I was confident when I said it. Then I thought I was going to pass out from fear of ruining everything with my stupid idea.”

  “But he agreed.”

  She grinned, feeling a surge of pride in her body. She could lead the company, she could do whatever she wanted. She could stop being just an assistant to Trenton and stand on her own two feet in Toronto. Hell, she could go take over the marketing department if she wanted.

  "That was exciting. I feel as if I could conquer the world." She jumped and clapped her hands.

  "It's a great feeling, isn't it?"

  "God, anyone else you want me to negotiate with?"

  He laughed. "No, I think that will be enough for today. I love you, Shan and I'm sorry. I guess I'll see you when you come back to grace us with a visit." He kissed her forehead.

  She grappled with something to say to that. But he disappeared out the door before she could find something appropriate. She sighed, feeling the adrenaline in her body start to crash. She took a swig of her coffee, and spat it back out. Cold. Gross.

  "Fuck all men," she said aloud. She gathered her papers and went to her office to finish the papers with Rachel, get them sent off ,then she was going home.

  * * *

  Gabe watched from his office as Shanna walked to her rental car. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Shanna Whittikar, including let her go off and make mistakes and live her life.

  Even if it was killing him inside.

  He supposed this was how she'd felt that night he'd refused to take her to bed.

  He turned back to his computer with a shake of his head. He hoped she'd take the confidence she'd felt and shown today back to her job in Toronto and step out of the assistant role and into her own power.

  * * *

  Shanna closed the door. “Rita, did you forget something?” her dad called from within the house.

  “It’s me, Dad. Shanna,” she said.

  “Shan. Good. Come here for a second.”

  She found him in the living room. The nostalgia of the room struck her. Her parents hadn’t updated the room in fifteen years. She remembered when it had been done. Her father hated the workers in the house so much he swore he’d never do another renovation. He’d kept to his word. It was slightly ironic, given that his product was made for renovating houses.

  “Can I change?” She stood beside him, hands on her hips.

  “No. I want to talk to you before your mom gets back. Sit down.” His voice was a bit gruff.

  She sat, feeling at attention.

  “I never said thank you.”

  “Thank you?”

  “For giving up your life for two weeks for me.”

  “I’d give you a lot more to keep you around for many more years.”

  Bryce looked at her for a long moment.

  She sighed. “Please don’t say anything about Gabriel.”

  “And why not? You used to like him.”

  “He is my best friend. I love him to death. But there is no way a relationship between him and me would work.”

  “I promised your mother I’d stop trying to force the issue.”

  She wished she believed that. “Probably wise. Usually girls don’t want their dads involved in their romantic relationships. Nor do dads want to be there.”

  She wanted to ask why the sudden push toward Gabe. When she was a teen, they took the opposite stance, trying to keep her away.

  “Gabe and Trenton.” Bryce shook his head. “This is not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

  She waited to hear what he had to say.

  He looked at her for a long time, as if trying to memorize her face. Or find the right words.

  “Sorry, you aren’t my little girl anymore. It’s hard for me to admit, hard for me to let go. Especially as our only child.”

  She reached out and covered his hands with hers. “Dad we don’t have to talk about this now.” There had been two stillbirths her parents had suffered one before and one after Shanna’s birth. Shanna assumed later that there were miscarriages as well, but her parents rarely talked about their troubles. Rita Whittikar suffered greatly under the knowledge she had never given her husband a son.

  He shook his head again. “Just listen.”

  She sat up and nodded.

  “You can’t imagine how proud your ma and me are of you. You’re a bright young woman, with all the success waiting for her. You can have anything and be anyone. Someday, if you wanted you could run the von Brooke company.”

  She nearly automatically said, “With Trenton.” But her dad would get that frown. Instead, she smiled and ducked her head a little. “Thanks, Dad. I wanted to make you proud. I know staying so far away wasn’t exactly what you had in mind. I wanted to see the world a bit, be someone other than Bryce’s daughter, if you know what I mean.” She was the poor girl from Alberta trying to marry into the von Brooke family.

  He took her hands in his. “I only want you to be happy.” And he didn’t think Trenton would make her happy.

  “I know, Dad. I’ll find my way. Can I ask you something?”

  “The property and the money?”

  She nodded. “Yep. Why did you hide it from me?”

  “How, exactly, should I have brought it up with you? By the way, Shanna, your mother and I are worth millions...”

  “And the land and the house?”

  “Maybe your mom and I will live there. If you don’t want it, I’m giving it to Gabe. He can sell it or burn it down or whatever. I’ve felt restless the last few months. The company runs fine without me. I am feeling old. I wanted something to feel excited about again.”

  She nodded. “Alright. I’m sorry. I’m confused. I need to go home and see if I can make sense out of anything that has happened in the last five years or so.”

  “Five years? That’s a lot of time in your life.”

  She stood. “It is. I have a lot to think about.”

  “Alright. Well, I wanted to make sure you know we were proud of you. And we love you. Although we aren’t always thrilled, we do support your choices.”

  Shanna felt tears come to her eyes. She squeezed her father’s hands.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever told you how proud your mom and I are of you. How much we love you.”

  Shanna couldn’t say anything. She stared at her dad as tears escaped her eyes.

  “I’m sorry for manipulating you into staying for these last two weeks.”

  “I wouldn’t have traded them for the world, Dad.”

  The front door opened and closed. “Oh, Shanna, I’m so glad you’re home. I was going to make up a batch of cupcakes,” her mother called. “You want to help?”

  Shanna pulled her hands from her dad’s. She wiped her face with her sleeve. “Sure, Mom. That sounds great. Let me sneak upstairs and change. I haven’t been home long.”

  She went around to the stairs before her mom could see her face.

  She’d never felt more guilty about leaving.

  Chapter 12

  Shanna sat behind her desk and answered the phone. "Trenton von Brooke's office."

  She'd been back for two weeks. Two weeks of working here on someone else's projects. Answering the phone, running errands and doing work that seemed a bit meaningless to her. She’d kept contact with Gabe to a minimum. She pushed her doubts aside and tried to get back to her normal life to see what it felt like.

  Shanna stretched one arm above her head.
<
br />   “I need to speak with Trenton,” the voice said.

  “He’s in a meeting right now. Can I take a message?”

  “It’s Kendall Cooper. I need his help with my resume, like I asked him to help with when I was working for him. I wasn’t the best assistant ever, but it gave me some help in seeing how an office works.”

  Shanna closed her eyes. God, save her from helpless women. “Can you e-mail me your resume? I’ll print it off for Trenton to look at when he has a moment. I’m glad you enjoyed your week here.” You can have it back.

  “Uh, okay, I guess.”

  “I promise to tell Trenton to call you about your resume, Kendall. Hell, when I get out of this office, you can have my job.”

  “Really? Will that be happening soon? I really liked working with Trenton. He was way more patient with than the guy at my dad’s office.”

  “Maybe. But I promise we’ll keep you in mind Kendall.”

  “Okay, great. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “Hold on, you need my e-mail address.” Shanna waited while the girl got a paper and pen.

  Shanna buzzed Trenton after she got off the phone. “Yes,” he said.

  “Kendall Cooper called. She’s e-mailing me her resume so you can go over it like you said you would.”

  Trenton groaned. “Oh, right. She had a few jobs at her dad’s company, but everyone she worked with complained.”

  “Another case of being spoiled all her life and the real world is a shocker?”

  “Yes. She’s a sweet girl, but lacks real world skills.”

  “So, how did you manage the entire week with her?”

  “Voice mail and a lot of deep breathing. She does okay with answering the phone, but she forgets to bring me the messages. She forgot her computer password twice. With some tutoring and Post-its, she could make a decent assistant. Of course, I learned no one compares to you.”

  Shanna smiled. “Thanks. When I get the e-mail I’ll print it and start suggesting changes.”

  “Thanks, babe. I’m struggling with this report today in here. I think I’ll go get some coffee and stretch my legs.”