“It is when you’re supposed to be resting.”
“So why would you want to catch me doing it, then?”
“Because that would make you a very naughty girl, and I would have had to punish you accordingly.”
Eleanor pondered whether she should reveal her afternoon activities, and smothered a grin. Really, Max was the perfect man for her. His sense of naughtiness was right up her street.
“So, shall I put this on to some plates?” he asked, holding up a carrier bag.
“Ooh, food! Excellent! Why don’t I take that from you?”
Eleanor took the bag before Max could refuse and ushered him into the living room. She gently pushed him on to the sofa, winked, and hobbled to the kitchen.
“I can do that,” he protested.
“No, I’m fine! I’ll be back before you know it. There’s wine on the table, help yourself.”
Eleanor pushed the door closed with her bad foot, stifled a wince, and quickly gathered some plates. She dished the food out haphazardly and gave Muse a warning glance as she grabbed a couple of forks.
“Don’t forget, you stay here,” she whispered.
Muse affected a glare and twitched her whiskers as Eleanor took the plates from the table and exited the kitchen.
“This is turning in to a bit of a habit,” she said as she sat down. “I could get used to it.”
“Take-out food is the best, isn’t it?” said Max. “There’s so many other more interesting things we could be doing instead of slaving over a stove.”
“My sentiments exactly.”
“You seem to be walking better today,” he remarked, eyeing her foot speculatively.
“It’s still sore, but I can get around all right. Honestly, I could easily go back to work tomorrow.”
Max gave her a stern look and she giggled.
“Well, perhaps not,” she said lightly.
They both spent the next few minutes silently contemplating each other as they nibbled on their meals. Eleanor didn’t have a clue was Max was thinking, but if it was anything like what was going through her mind, it had nothing to do with the food. Would she seem a little slutty if she was the first to mention that she would much rather satisfy a different kind of appetite?
“Um,”
“Eleanor?”
They both grinned sheepishly, and Eleanor gestured for Max to speak first.
“I think I’m right in assuming that you’re still of the same mind as last night? I mean, I hope I’m right in assuming that.”
Eleanor cleared her throat and took a hefty mouthful of pilau rice in an effort to stop herself screaming a very definite “yes” at him. She contented herself by nodding her head and smiling.
“That’s good,” said Max, sighing loudly. “I thought I might have turned you off the idea when I manhandled you into the taxi earlier.”
“To be truthful, it was the manhandling that convinced me that I was definitely making the right decision,” said Eleanor saucily.
“A girl after my own heart,” he replied, grinning wickedly.
Eleanor grabbed a naan bread and proceeded to pull it to pieces. She was pretty sure that she was moments away from being thoroughly seen to — as Jake would call it — and was on tenterhooks.
Max placed his plate on the table and relieved Eleanor of the naan bread. He pulled her towards him and Eleanor brought her hands up to his chest, making sure she slipped a button open on her blouse as she did so. Happily, Max appeared to be of the same mind, because he immediately started on the next button down. Eleanor leaned back to make things easier, and decided that Max’s neck looked like an interesting place to start investigating, when suddenly the man in question pulled back.
“Can you smell burning?” he asked.
“No. Wait, I can smell something, but I’m not sure … ”
Eleanor was cut off by the screech of a smoke detector, making her cover her ears and glare towards the kitchen.
“I’ll bloody kill that cat!”
Max gave her a questioning look, and Eleanor shook her head. She stood up, muttering darkly to herself, and made her way to the kitchen.
“Oh. My. God.”
The stove was on fire. At least, several tea towels, which were piled on top of the stove, were on fire. Muse was sat on the table with a magazine held between her teeth, and was wafting waves of smoke upwards. Max hurried up behind Eleanor and Muse promptly dropped the magazine and jumped onto the floor.
“What the hell? Eleanor, why is your stove on fire?”
“I really couldn’t say,” she said through clenched teeth, which was perfectly true because Max would surely think she was crazy if she told him that her cat was responsible for setting her kitchen alight, with the intent of stopping her mistress from losing her knickers.
Max rushed forward and turned the gas off, while Eleanor filled a kettle with water to douse the flames. The fire was put out without much effort at all, but the smoke detector continued to screech for a further ten minutes, by which time both Eleanor and Max had the beginnings of very bad headaches.
“Maybe we should call it a night,” said Max.
“No! I have painkillers! And we haven’t finished our meal.” And you haven’t ripped my clothes off!
Muse chose that moment to have a fit of spitting. Doing her best imitation of an irate cat, she hissed, growled, and generally made a lot of noise in Max’s direction.
“Your cat definitely doesn’t like me,” said Max warily.
“Nonsense!” said Eleanor weakly. “She’s probably a bit hyper because of the fire. You know what animals can be like. Very sensitive.”
Max looked doubtful at this, while Muse gave Eleanor a look that could only be described as mocking.
“I’m sure she’ll be fine in a few minutes,” said Eleanor. “Won’t you, Muse?”
Max held a tentative hand out towards the cat, and almost got it bitten off for his trouble. Muse hissed a bit more for added affect, and Max stepped back, holding his hands up in defeat.
“Why don’t we try this again? I’m busy tomorrow night, but how about Thursday? Third time lucky?”
Eleanor opened her mouth to protest, but Muse was still spitting and she knew she was out-maneuvered.
“I’ll take you out instead,” said Max firmly. “And maybe we could go back to my place afterwards?”
“I suppose so,” said Eleanor grudgingly, fixing Muse with a glare worthy of Medusa. “You don’t have a cat, do you?”
“No,” snorted Max. “Definitely not.”
Muse gave one last hiss at this remark, and sauntered into the living room. By the time Eleanor had said goodbye to Max — and goodbye to any night-time naughtiness along with him — Muse had settled herself on the sofa and was grooming leisurely.
“I’m. Going. To. Strangle. You. You promised!”
“Now, now, Ella, don’t be silly. I promised I’d stay in the kitchen, which is exactly what I did.”
“Don’t split hairs, you know exactly what I mean!”
“I never promised you anything except that I would not enter the living room. I kept my word.”
“So the tea-towel burning thing was a complete accident, was it?”
“Of course. I would never do something as silly as starting a fire. Goodness.”
“I imagined you waving last week’s Hello in the air then, did I?”
“I was merely swatting a fly, dear, that’s all.”
“You do realize that you completely ruined my evening, don’t you?”
“Really? Oh dear. Though I must say, although I would certainly never do anything as underhand as purposely spoiling your plans, I’m rather glad this little accident happened.”
“I just bet you are.”
“Don’t pout,
Ella, it isn’t becoming.”
Eleanor bit her tongue and silently entertained herself with various images of how to take a cat’s life. All nine of them.
Chapter Ten
Having decided that going to work would not be a very good idea, Eleanor had the luxury of waking up naturally the following morning. Muse, who usually greeted Eleanor with a good kneading on her back, was noticeably absent, which probably meant that she was avoiding her. This was fortunate, because Eleanor was still pretty ticked off at her cat for ruining her plans from the previous evening. Not for the first time, Eleanor wished that her cat was a plain old normal puss, who didn’t talk and give silly advice about Happy-Ever-Afters.
Muttering under her breath, Eleanor stepped out of bed and was happy to discover that her foot throbbed only minimally. She tested her full weight, and realized that as long as she was careful, she should be able to walk quite easily.
A quick shower, followed by a hasty breakfast later — with Muse still out of the picture — and Eleanor found herself contemplating what to do with her extra time off. Just what could you do at ten o’clock on a Wednesday morning, anyway?
She wandered into the living room and flicked the TV on, surfing the channels listlessly. She had a choice of Jeremy Kyle, Dora the Explorer and re-runs of Catchphrase. Not really a choice at all, if she was honest. She turned the TV off in disgust and dug through the pile of magazines that were piled haphazardly under the table. Maybe there was a page or two that she had missed on her first perusal.
She was just re-reading a particularly juicy piece of celebrity gossip when her phone rang. Leaning over the chair, she picked the phone up and threw the magazine back on the pile.
“Hello? Incredibly bored person speaking!”
“Ella, darling! I’m so glad you got your phone fixed!”
“I didn’t,” she replied in surprise. She’d forgotten all about it, actually. “Maybe it was just an area fault or something. Anyway, what’s up, Jake?”
“Darling, I’m in hiding,” he said frantically.
“Why? What’s happened?”
“I think Charming’s after my balls.”
“You wish,” snorted Eleanor.
“Figuratively speaking,” snapped Jake. “Seriously, he’s on the warpath.”
“But why?” asked Eleanor patiently. “You haven’t done anything wrong, have you?”
“Well, no, but that’s not the point. As soon as you left yesterday, I tried to explain the situation. You know, it wasn’t my idea, Mr. Charming, I told Ella that she should have stayed at home, but she will insist on being stubborn, that kind of thing.”
“Gee, thanks for that,” said Eleanor dryly.
“Sorry, sweetie, but he was furious, and a guy’s got to watch his back.”
Eleanor rolled her eyes.
“Anyway, he just gave me a Look — that’s a capital ‘L’ for ‘look,’ by the way — and walked away. He avoided me for the rest of the day.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much, Jake. It’s me he was angry with, not you.”
“Well, I know that, darling. The thing is, as soon as I got in this morning, he requested a meeting with me. And Derek said that Charming was looking even more irate this morning than what he was yesterday.”
“Oh. Well I’m sure his mood has nothing to do with you.”
“I can’t risk it, darling. What if he fires me or something? No, I need to hide.”
“Jake, why would he fire you? And where are you hiding, anyway?”
“I’m in the stationary cupboard.”
“Ah. I should probably tell you that the cupboard isn’t really a very good hiding place.”
“Not for you,” agreed Jake. “But I can be quiet, unlike some people.”
“You’re not being very quiet right now, Jake. You’re on the phone,” Eleanor pointed out.
“That’s because there’s nobody in the office. I’ve arranged a lovely flower pot just by the entrance, so as soon as anyone walks in, they’re going to knock it over, therefore giving me warning that I am no longer alone.”
“That’s a bit overdramatic, Jake, don’t you think?”
“You didn’t see Charming’s face yesterday.”
“Jake, be reasonable. You’re not going to be fired. Get out of the cupboard and get back to work.”
“No way. I’m staying right here until it’s time to go home. And I’m phoning in sick tomorrow.”
Eleanor rolled her eyes. Honestly, the term “Drama Queen” could have been coined for her friend.
“You seriously can’t spend all day in the stationary cupboard, Jake.”
“I’ve got muffins, a box of emergency Malteasers, and three bottles of water. I’ll be fine.”
“You’ve also got spiders.”
“What?”
The only person Eleanor knew who was more afraid of spiders than she was, was Jake.
“Why do you think I screamed yesterday? I wasn’t being attacked by a random stapler or anything. There was a great big … Jake? Jake?”
The line went dead, and Eleanor chuckled. Maybe Jake wouldn’t be spending the entire day in a cupboard after all.
• • •
Eleanor re-read every last page from her stockpile of magazines, made herself an omelet for her evening meal, and was in bed by nine o’clock, utterly exhausted from her day of idleness.
When she woke up the following morning, she knew that she couldn’t take another day of boredom. Her foot was a lot better, and the thought of reading about the lives of the rich and famous all over again for the next eight hours didn’t really appeal. She decided to visit her father. She was still worried about what Christie might be up to anyway, so they needed to get their heads together before the meeting with the solicitors. She just hoped her father would take things seriously. So far, he was faring a lot better than he usually did, but Eleanor knew that Teddy could revert to his habitual doormat persona at any given second.
After deciding that a taxi might be prudent, Eleanor arrived at her father’s house twenty minutes later with a smile and several bottles of stout. The smile remained fixed on her face as she knocked the door and waited for her father to open it. Two minutes later, the smile was slipping and the stout was beginning to feel heavy. Slightly perturbed by the lack of response, Eleanor quickly knocked at the neighbor’s house. The door was opened almost immediately, and the kindly face of Marge Halloway smiled at her.
“Eleanor, what a surprise!”
“Hi, Mrs. H. You don’t know where my dad is, do you?”
“Oh, he went out quite early this morning, lovey.”
“Really? That’s odd.” Teddy was a homebody and usually only ventured out for short periods of time, primarily when the bookies were quiet. “What time did he go?”
“Oh, well, let me see. It was definitely after the eight o’clock news, because I remember watching all of it. I hope that weatherman was wrong because we certainly don’t need any more rain, do we? Let’s see now, the weather report comes on around half past, and then I usually make my Harry a nice cup of tea. It was after that, definitely.”
Eleanor resisted sighing. Mrs. Halloway was a lovely woman, but she tended to ramble.
“Would you say it was after nine, then?” she asked helpfully.
“Oh no, dear, it was before that, because Bob usually brings the post at about a quarter to, I set my clock by him. Nice lad, Bob. Always likes the cup of tea I make for him. Just right for drinking by the time he gets here. No, it must have been about ten to nine, dearie. I was just waving goodbye to Bob and was closing my door, and of course I couldn’t help seeing Mr. Gibson getting into that car.”
“He left in a car?”
“Oh yes, dear, with that nice wife of his. Lovely lady, your step-mama, dear.”
“She’s not my stepmother, Mrs. H; they got divorced, remember?”
“Oh, I don’t hold with that kind of thing, dearie. Marriage is marriage in the eyes of the Lord. I’m sure they’ll both see sense soon enough, and you’ll be one nice happy family again, won’t you?”
Eleanor silently counted to ten.
“Thanks for the help, Mrs. H. I really should be going now. Could you hang on to these for me? They were a present for my dad.”
“Of course, dear.”
Eleanor handed over the stout and waved a cheery goodbye. It was pointless trying to explain anything to Mrs. Halloway, she just didn’t live in the real world. Everything was hunky dory as far as she was concerned, and little things like divorces went right over her head.
Frowning at her father’s empty house, Eleanor pulled out her mobile phone and dialed Teddy’s number. Almost immediately, the dialing tone was replaced by a pre-recorded message.
“Damn it,” cursed Eleanor. “What’s the point of having a bloody mobile if you don’t switch it on?”
Eleanor thrust the phone back in to her bag and scowled at the world in general. Where on earth could her father be?
• • •
When she arrived home a couple of hours later, Eleanor was still no closer to finding out where her father was. She’d scoured the town center, paying particular attention to Christie’s old haunts — up market coffee bars and the like — but to no avail. She’d checked both Mr. Tandy’s office and Christie’s solicitor’s office. The latter was a hard-nosed ice queen, with a cloned receptionist who was greatly put out at having to speak to someone who wasn’t a client. Eleanor was well and truly stumped.
“Where have you been?”
Eleanor glared at her cat as she stepped into the kitchen. Muse was staring back with an equally annoyed expression.
“Out,” said Eleanor shortly.
“Don’t be facetious, it isn’t … ”
“BECOMING! I bloody know it isn’t becoming. As well as about a thousand other things that I apparently do far too frequently. Just give me a break, will you?”
Muse blinked a few times and licked her paw nervously. Eleanor limped to the table and pulled out a chair.
If the Shoe Fits Page 13