His mind settling into more peace than he’d had in a long time, Ben fell asleep.
BEN WASN’T entirely impressed with Pittsburgh yet. He did appreciate all the green foliage, but the city itself wasn’t quite what he expected. The whole trip on the interstate to the west of the city looked… rather boring. Much the same as any other city: shopping centers, office buildings, and suburbia.
The hills and sheer amount of green made it better than Dallas, without even seeing anything else, though. And he had seen pictures of the city itself, so he knew it was there somewhere, but thus far, at—he checked the GPS—only two miles out from the center of the city, he hadn’t seen even a hint of the tall office buildings of downtown.
He took one curve, then another, then found himself at the top of a rather impressive hill. At the bottom, the opening of a tunnel through the mountain waited, and just before there were an almost ridiculous number of bright green signs. The traffic leading up to the entrance seemed a little much for the time of day—midafternoon. Still, he glanced at the GPS, found the lane he was supposed to be in, and tapped the steering wheel to the music while he crawled along the road.
It went faster than he’d expected. As he approached the tunnel, he was surprised he could barely see the other end. Traffic sped up, however, and a moment later, he was coming out the other side.
His eyes widened and his breath caught. Right in front of him, barely the width of a river away, rose the huge buildings of downtown. It took a loud honk for him to realize he’d slowed down and was staring. He hurried to move over to the lane he needed, then took the exit he wanted.
He couldn’t stop himself from looking over at the city several times as he drove along the river. It wasn’t until it more or less disappeared behind the hills again that he was able to focus on the road. He hit the Bluetooth button and told his phone to call Tanner Pearce. It only rang twice before it was answered.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Mr. Pearce, this is Ben Arellano, from Texas?”
“Oh, ugh. Tanner, please. Or alpha, if you must. Mr. Pearce is my father.”
Ben found himself laughing. “All right, alpha. I just passed downtown Pittsburgh. I understand I still have a bit before I’ll get out there, but I wanted to ask if you’d like me to meet you first before I did anything else.”
“It’s not necessary. Hey, your dad said you were just moving into the area. I meant to ask if you have an apartment already lined up?”
“Oh, no. I was going to find an Extended Stay and look. I left a day before I expected to.”
“In that case, yes, come see me first.”
Ben wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything, but he wasn’t about to argue with his new alpha. “All right. Could you, um, send directions? The GPS thinks I’m driving into a river.”
Tanner laughed. “Yeah, it’s not so great out here. I’ll text them as soon as we hang up.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you soon.”
“See ya.”
Tanner was as good as his word, and directions that seemed almost too easy arrived within a couple of minutes. Ben managed to focus on them rather than the scenery—except for the second tunnel he went through—and before too long, he was off the interstate and following the state roads, then a small paved road, and finally what could only be called a dirt path.
He found himself intensely grateful he’d gone with an SUV. The CR-V handled itself and the bumps well, and a moment later, he pulled up next to a deep blue Outlander. He turned off the engine, his heart pounding. Despite the friendly tone of the voice on the phone, there was still so much that could go wrong here. He’d pinned a lot of hopes for his future on working with and being a part of this pack.
He closed his eyes. Despite his argument with his mother, he hadn’t necessarily embraced the gods the way he probably should. She’d done her best to instill her Catholic faith in him. And while he didn’t believe in her god, he still wasn’t 100 percent sure of those his father followed. He accepted something was up there, but he wasn’t entirely positive what yet. He took a deep breath, though, and spoke. “Diana, if you are up there, please… I… I do not know. Just let them accept me? Please?”
With one more breath, he climbed out of the car.
Before he could even knock, the door opened. A tall, somewhat muscular man with thick black hair and green eyes full of good humor opened the door. He smelled of welcome, and Ben immediately liked him.
“You must be Ben!”
Ben nodded, a little stunned. “Um. Yes. Hi. Are you… Tanner?” He didn’t sound like the man on the phone, but phones could do weird things to voices.
The man laughed. “Oh, no, that’s my mate. I’m Finley. Come in, please.”
Mate? So the rumor is true. At least the fact that the alpha was mated to a man.
Letting go of some of his nervousness, Ben followed Finley into the house.
He immediately loved the rustic, warm feeling. The focal point of the main room they stopped in was a huge river-rock fireplace. Overstuffed couches and chairs invited him to sink in and get comfortable. Before he could absorb more, the most amazing scent hit him. Leather, something sweet, and a smell that he could only call home.
“Fin, where can I put these?”
Ben spun around to face a gorgeous man. Longish black hair parted to frame a round face. Bright hazel eyes and a beautiful smile filled it. And all this topped a long, lean body that made Ben’s mouth water.
It also caused his eyesight to go gray, his teeth to drop, his claws to sprout, and his dick to stiffen.
Mate.
He stared at the man, who stared back at him, looking as if he’d just been shot. His eyes bled black, teeth dropped, and the scent of arousal hit Ben with the rest.
“Oh, fuck no,” the man said, dropping the bundle of clothes he held. Then a moment later, he’d shifted, shredding the jeans and T-shirt he wore, and bolted for a set of stairs that went down.
Ben blinked after him, his heart twisting. His mate was here. He had a destined mate. A male destined mate.
Who didn’t want him.
He couldn’t breathe all of a sudden, and the twisting in his heart spread to knot his stomach as well. He tried to suck in air, but his lungs refused to cooperate.
“I’m sorry, Ben,” Finley murmured, putting a hand on his shoulder. “He’ll be back.”
“He sure as hell will. I’m not letting him do this a second time,” another man said, coming around the corner from the other direction. Ben was so messed up, he couldn’t take in more than a muscular body much like Finley’s and a head full of thick auburn hair. “Especially not now. Hi, Ben. I’m Tanner. It’s nice to meet you. My mate will take care of you for a few.”
“Come sit down, Ben,” Finley murmured as Tanner went down the same steps Ben’s mate had just disappeared down.
Ben followed Finley to one of the couches and took a seat. He stared into space, trying to make sense of what had just happened. He turned to look at Finley, finally finding his voice. “Is… is it me? That I’m a guy?”
Finley frowned. “I don’t know? I didn’t know he was bisexual, but he might just have been in the closet. Diana doesn’t make mistakes, though, with destined mates. He’ll come around.”
Ben wondered, then, if it wasn’t something else about him. Was it his appearance? He didn’t think he looked that Latino that one look could tell someone his family’s origin. But what else could it be?
As if reading his mind, Finley spoke again. “I’m sure it’s not you. He’s been through a lot recently—and not so recently. It’s not my place to tell you. But trust me, he’ll be back. Can I get you some coffee?”
Ben nodded absently and took another breath. Diana, what do I do now?
Chapter 3
ERIC RAN. He paid no attention to where he went, paid no mind to what he passed. He simply ran.
He couldn’t do it, couldn’t go through that again. He didn’t care if it was destined or chose
n; he could not deal with another mate.
He was forced to slow as he ran out of breath. He kept going until he found a stream, then flopped down on the side of it. He knew his peace would be disturbed, and that there was no way Tanner wouldn’t come after him. But he needed some time to get a grip on himself.
He put his paws over his eyes as memories he did not want tried to surface. He’d gotten good at putting them away over the years.
But they refused to behave, refused to stay away.
ERIC HAD only been one of several guys going after her. He had no idea why she chose him; he’d just counted himself lucky. They’d dated, spent a huge amount of their time together, fallen in love. They hadn’t done a lot of talking—they’d been teenagers, after all, full of hormones. They hadn’t bonded early, both aware of what it meant, but they’d done plenty of other stuff together—kissing hadn’t been an issue, and they’d certainly done everything else they could think of that wouldn’t form a bond.
Eric had built dreams of a life with her. He’d imagined a small house in the woods, pups with her, a fairly quiet life in the pack. It seemed a forgone conclusion that they’d mate.
So, he’d asked. And she’d accepted.
He’d been over the moon. His parents had been thrilled when they announced it. Alpha Noah had cautioned him, however. Tried to tell him Kim hadn’t been as invested in the mating as he was. But Kim swore she loved him and wanted to be with him.
So the night after their senior prom, they’d taken that last step: he’d claimed her and they’d bonded.
He didn’t want to admit things had started going wrong right away. But now, years later, he had to concede they had. In fact, the night after they’d mated, they’d had their first full-blown fight when Kim found out he wasn’t going to college.
He’d discovered his talent for leatherworking while doing his summer work in the pack leather business. He’d loved designing pictures to be worked into the leather and, when he’d talked to Alpha Noah, decided he’d wanted to make a living at it. Alpha Noah had been thrilled, as had Eric, and offered him a permanent position on the spot.
Kim… not so much. Eric hadn’t understood it. He had a good job and certainly made enough for that small house, a good car, and so on. Sure, it wasn’t going to pay what a doctor or engineer would make, which was what his mother had wanted him to do, but it paid well enough. His dad had been the one pushing him to go for medicine. Eric wanted nothing to do with either. He’d considered going for computers, but the truth was, other than using them when he had to, he wasn’t all that interested. So discovering his talent and going into leatherworking had been easy for him.
They fought most of the summer over his decision. She kept telling him it wasn’t too late to sign up for classes, and he kept saying he didn’t want them. Why go into debt for a degree he wasn’t going to use? He didn’t know why it was so important to her that he go, when he knew what he wanted to do.
In the meantime she insisted she was happy just being his mate, which only confused him further. If college was so important, why wasn’t she going? That sparked another rather epic fight, especially when the truth finally came out: she didn’t really want to work at all.
Eric would admit he’d never been the swiftest person when it came to understanding people, but he’d put two and two together and finally understood she wanted him to go to college, which would mean he could make more money and take care of her so she wouldn’t have to work.
It didn’t help that his parents had been telling her they were going to get him to go. That they’d even find a way to pay for it, just until he could get a good engineering job or start his residency. All behind his back. They’d assured her they’d get him to “come around.”
That had been the biggest explosion he and his parents had ever had. He had, for the most part, gotten along with them. He hadn’t always agreed with them, and because of them, he’d ignored a part of himself—the part that was attracted to men. They’d claimed they had accepted the alpha’s son—though Eric wasn’t completely convinced of that—and as such, he’d kept both his attraction to guys and his crush on Tanner to himself.
All these years later, he could finally truly see they’d been pushing him and Kim together. And while he’d loved Kim, if they hadn’t been so encouraging, he wasn’t entirely sure he’d have mated her as soon as he had either. It was easy: she was female, she wanted to be his mate, and he could keep the rest of his private wants just that—private.
He wished he’d listened more to Alpha Noah. That summer he’d mentioned a couple of times that if Eric had anything he wanted to talk about—and even then Eric had known Alpha Noah was referring to Kim—he could talk. Eric hadn’t taken him up on it. Instead, he’d kept it to himself and continued to fight with Kim.
But when the beginning of September came and went and Eric refused to go to college, she had apparently realized she wasn’t going to get what she wanted. He’d hinted that they start trying for pups. She’d completely lost it on him, packed a suitcase, and walked out.
He’d told himself she just needed a break, needed time to understand he was happy. And he was—if not about them fighting, then about everything else.
So, he’d waited. September bled into October, which blew coldly into November. And still she hadn’t come back. Hadn’t so much as called him in all that time. He had no idea where she’d gone, just that she wasn’t in Pittsburgh anymore—Alpha Noah had told him he knew that for sure, but not where she’d gone.
He’d lost himself in his work and focused on spending time with his friends. But one Monday night, during football, his life changed forever.
The Steelers were close, on the ten-yard line, looking good for a touchdown. Halfway through the play, a pain hit that was so sharp, it stole Eric’s breath and forced him to lose control of his wolf, something he hadn’t done since he was a pup. He’d shifted on the spot, howling. It’d taken the alpha, using his alpha power, to get him to shift back.
His chest physically hurt. He’d known, in that second, what had happened. He couldn’t breathe, the pain was so sharp. He managed to get back to human form and stared at his best friend, trying to figure out how to handle this, but his wolf was too much in the forefront, too close to the surface because of the pain. He’d managed to tell Tanner he was sorry, then shifted again and bolted.
Eric had torn through the screen door of Alpha Noah’s house and run as fast as he could. Away from the pain, away from the heartache. Away from the understanding of what had just happened.
Kim had cheated on him. Cheated on him and allowed another wolf to claim her. She hadn’t just left him to figure things out.
She was gone.
With another howl, he’d run. Run as far and as fast as he could. And he hadn’t looked back for a very, very long time.
ERIC WHINED, trying yet again to forget. There was no way he could go through that again, no way he could open himself up to the possibility. Diana, why?
He smelled his alpha only a few moments later. But Eric wasn’t ready to face being human again. Life as a wolf was so much easier. He didn’t have these things to deal with. He could focus on a few basic things—fighting, feeding, running. He didn’t need to think about emotion, didn’t need to worry about something he should have had but didn’t.
“Come on, Eric. You can’t do this again,” Tanner said.
Eric tried to ignore him. He’d recognized Tanner as his alpha, so if Tanner wanted to push the issue, he could. Eric really hoped he wouldn’t.
“Dude, really. Come on. I know it was hard on you. I saw it happen, remember? I didn’t feel it, but I know. You can’t do this again, though. You can’t do it to your mate.”
The whine got louder, and Eric shook his head. I don’t have a mate! I can’t!
“Eric, shift, man. Let’s talk about this at least.”
Eric sighed but shook his head again.
“Uh-uh. I’m not letting you do this a second time. A
re you going to make me go alpha on you?”
He couldn’t answer, because he really didn’t want to piss his friend—or alpha—off.
“Godsdammit,” Tanner grumbled. “Eric, shift.”
The alpha power went through him, and a few seconds later, Eric squatted opposite Tanner, looking at him in full color. “Did you have to do that?”
“Were you going to shift?” Tanner countered.
Eric kept his mouth shut.
“That’s what I thought.” Tanner shook his head. “I’m not letting you do this again. Especially not now.”
“I can’t, Tanner. I can’t go through the pain again.”
To Eric’s surprise, Tanner nodded. “I get that.” He sat back, leaning on one hand and tilting his head. “Have a seat. I didn’t get a chance to tell you much about what happened with Finley and me, did I?”
Eric scowled. “What does that have to do with me?”
“Sit and I’ll tell you.”
“I’m not a dog,” Eric grumbled, earning himself a snort from Tanner. But he sat, getting more comfortable.
“I didn’t claim Finley for two years after we met. To a large degree, that was because of you.”
Eric blinked at him, mouth dropping open. “Me? Because of me?”
Tanner nodded. “Finley was sixteen when we met. I had just finished college and was twenty-two. I will never, for as long as I live, forget the tormented look on your face before you shifted the second time and took off—right through my dad’s screen door. The whole scene had been kind of surreal. The Steelers were scoring a touchdown, everyone in my dad’s living room was completely stunned and silent, and you had just run off. I knew, without a doubt, I knew what had happened, even without you telling me.”
“You knew it was Kim?”
“Yeah.” Tanner sighed. “Unlike you, I had a feeling she wasn’t coming back. But I honestly never imagined she’d break the bond. And when I saw she did—that she could—I knew I couldn’t go through that. So, when I met Finley, I was scared to death of claiming him.”
Forgiveness Page 3