Bodies from the Library

by Tony Medawar

  Archie had seen the same thing. He straightened up, took Veronica by the elbows and ran her back into the bedroom. They had both seen Geoffrey arrest his fall by catching hold of a rung only three feet below him, hang on to it and then climb rapidly up to the balcony. The sound of another shot reached them from below, but almost at the same minute Geoffrey tumbled into the room, crouching forward. Archie sprang to draw the curtains.

  ‘Geoffrey …?’ asked Veronica, her hand to her mouth.

  Geoffrey beamed at her. ‘Missed me, both times. The first bullet hit the wall six inches away from my head. I jumped nearly out of my skin.’

  ‘But you fell?’

  ‘Pretended to fall,’ Geoffrey corrected her. He turned to Archie. ‘Funny thing, isn’t it? That’s the first time I’ve ever been shot at in my life and yet I acted just on instinct. I pretended to fall, to make the blighter think he’d pipped me and when I judged he’d lowered his gun I shinned up again. It seems to have worked.’

  ‘Good man,’ Archie grinned. ‘And you’ve got the paper?’

  ‘I’ve got the paper.’

  ‘Give it back, Geoffrey,’ Veronica suddenly urged. ‘Give the wretched thing back to them.’

  ‘Give it back?’ Geoffrey echoed in surprise.

  ‘Yes. It isn’t worth this kind of thing.’

  ‘Are you weakening?’ demanded Geoffrey.

  ‘Yes,’ Veronica acknowledged. ‘I don’t like you being shot at.’

  ‘I don’t mind him being shot at,’ Archie said with equanimity. ‘No, Miss Steyning, now we’ve got it again we can’t give it back without another struggle. For King and Country, you know. Likewise, Peace with Honour.’

  ‘In this case,’ Geoffrey put in, ‘a Strategic Retreat. In other words, we’d better leg it while friend Fritz is still busy with friend Hans. We don’t want to be bothered on our way round to your cousin’s, do we? In fact, we don’t want them to know we’re going round to your cousin’s at all. So now’s the time. You’d better come, Veronica. It’ll be safer.’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ Veronica agreed, ‘I’m coming.’

  ‘And you, Geoffrey,’ Archie said with interest. ‘Are you going in your shirt-sleeves or your dressing-gown?’

  ‘Shirt-sleeves, I think. Come along, children.’

  Geoffrey opened the door, glanced down the passage and reported it empty. Treading delicately, like conspirators, the three passed out of the room and down the stairs.

  In the hall the little night-clerk still lurked behind his desk and eyed them askance.

  Archie regarded him with a thoughtful eye. ‘Supposing you were right, Geoffrey and that little creature does belong to the other side,’ he said in a low voice. ‘We don’t want him to tell them we’ve gone out as soon as our backs are turned.’

  ‘I’ll biff him one and put him to sleep,’ said Geoffrey comfortably.

  ‘No, you idiot, we don’t want him to guess even that we’ve gone anywhere important. We ought not to have brought Miss Steyning with us. Then he’d have thought we were just going back to our own hotel.’

  ‘I’m not going to stay in my room alone, with that balcony,’ said Veronica with decision.’

  ‘No, but what about the back stairs? Look here; you say goodbye to us here, very ostentatiously, then pop up to the first floor, find the service stairs and get out of the hotel that way. You may have to go through a kitchen or two, but no one will be about at this hour. It’s nearly half-past two.’

  ‘All right,’ Veronica nodded. ‘Where will you wait for me?’

  Archie thought. ‘The safest place is where the enemy won’t think of looking for us and in this case I should say that’s anywhere in the neighbourhood of the fire-escape. Did you see those ornamental gardens inside that little square? We’ll be crouching under a bush there, looking out for you. Fritz is sure to think he’s frightened us away from that side for good and all.’

  ‘Very well and mind you do wait. Well, good night,’ she added loudly. ‘Thank you so much for coming round. It’s been a delightful evening.’

  They exchanged loud and earnest farewells and then Veronica ran up the stairs again. The two men linked arms, called a cheerful good night to the clerk, to which they obtained no reply and marched out of the main entrance. There they turned as one man and marched back into the hotel again. Fritz was waiting on the front steps.

  ‘That man,’ said Geoffrey, ‘is becoming a nuisance.’

  ‘Hush,’ said Archie. ‘Hi!’ he called out to the little night-clerk. ‘Where’s the gents’ cloakroom? Où est la chambre aux manteaux pour les Messieurs?’

  The clerk sulkily indicated the direction. The two marched that way.

  ‘Must have an excuse for coming back,’ Archie explained, as they went on. ‘And now we know where Fritz is. Well, that’s very nice of him. All we’ve got to do now is to find a convenient window, this one for instance and hop out through it. Are you ready?’

  ‘Half a minute,’ said Geoffrey, taking down an overcoat from one of the pegs. ‘I’ll return it in the morning and it’s less conspicuous.’

  He put it on, Archie opened the window and reported the coast clear and they scrambled out into the street.

  ‘Sing hey,’ observed Archie. ‘We’re off.’

  Cautiously they made their way to the little garden, vaulted the railing round it and crept under a bush. Apparently no one had seen them.

  Twenty minutes passed.

  Then Geoffrey, looking upwards, uttered an exclamation. The figure of Veronica was plainly visible embarking on the descent of the fire-escape from the balcony outside her own room.

  ‘Dash it,’ muttered Archie, ‘she’s got pluck, this young woman of yours, but it’s a bit conspicuous.’

  As he spoke, a man came into view round the angle of the building. He looked up at the fire-escape and the two could see his profile clearly. It was Fritz. He moved towards the foot of the escape.

  Unknowingly, Veronica continued to descend.

  X

  ‘What about it?’ whispered Archie.

  ‘Get his revolver, at all events,’ Geoffrey whispered back.

  In a few seconds they had made their plan. Archie was to saunter out in front, as if not knowing that the man was there, allow himself to be held up, at the point of the revolver if necessary, and engage the man’s attention fully enough to allow Geoffrey to get up behind him and take him by surprise; the chance had to be taken that the revolver might go off, with Archie in front of it. Veronica was coming down slowly enough to enable them to carry this through before she reached the ground.

  ‘By the way,’ Archie whispered, just before they parted, ‘I’d quite forgotten friend Hans. What’s happened to him? You notice he’s gone.’

  ‘Fritz carried him away,’ Geoffrey suggested, ‘or he may have come round. I hope not. For some reason I’d sooner tackle six Fritzes.’

  Archie nodded emphatic agreement and they crawled their different ways. Emerging on the other side of the gardens, Archie jumped over the railing and made his way back towards the fire-escape. Out of the corner of his eye as he approached he saw Fritz hastily taking cover behind a projecting window. Still out of the corner of his eye he saw Geoffrey gain the shelter of the next projecting window, unperceived.

  Everything went as they had planned. Archie strolled to the bottom of the fire-escape and looked innocently up at Veronica’s descending figure. Fritz walked out on him from two yards away, revolver in hand, Archie, simulating great fear, hurriedly delved in his pockets for the document and then two muscular arms wound themselves suddenly and firmly round Fritz’s neck, Archie dived under the revolver and grabbed it before it could go off and Veronica descended to meet an impotently kicking Fritz and Geoffrey’s face grinning over his shoulder.

  ‘So now perhaps,’ Archie said with severity, ‘you’ll tell us why you disobeyed orders and came out of the hotel again, Miss Steyning.’

  Veronica recognised that she was being given a cue for the bene
fit of Fritz. ‘I was going to follow you to your hotel, to see if they could give me a room for the rest of the night,’ she said quickly. ‘I was frightened up there all alone.’

  ‘I see,’ said Archie with a terrific frown and winked as Fritz’s head jerked the other way.

  ‘Well, this is all very nice and jolly,’ Geoffrey remarked, holding the struggling Fritz without difficulty, ‘but what am I to do with this pretty thing? We want to get to bed sometime tonight, don’t we?’

  ‘Rock-a-bye, baby?’ Archie suggested significantly.

  ‘I suppose so,’ Geoffrey agreed. ‘It seems like murder, but I suppose so.’ With a sudden jerk he twisted Fritz round and hit him accurately and scientifically on the point of the chin. Archie fielded him neatly as he fell.

  ‘Touches the spot every time,’ he commented amiably. ‘Send your son to Cambridge. First-class education guaranteed. Never say a university education isn’t worth while, Miss Steyning. Geoffrey learned to box there and look how useful it’s coming in now.’

  ‘Oh, do let’s get away,’ chafed Veronica, who did not in the least feel like standing longer than was necessary on the pavement over a prostrate man.

  ‘Up with his heels, Archie,’ Geoffrey ordered.

  Between them they lifted the unconscious Fritz, carried him tenderly to the railings round the little garden and decanted him neatly into a clump of bushes.

  ‘That settles him,’ observed Geoffrey, delicately dusting his hands. ‘He’ll be out of this world for at least an hour and, thanks entirely to you, Veronica, when he does come round he’ll think we went straight to our hotel from here. So now perhaps we can get on with the job in peace. By the way, why didn’t you come out of the back regions, as arranged?’

  ‘Because I couldn’t find them,’ Veronica rejoined tartly. ‘I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to find the back door of a big hotel at three o’clock in the morning; because if not, I shouldn’t bother. I wasted what seemed like hours and I was so afraid you’d start without me that I thought I’d better go down the fire-escape to avoid the night-clerk. You told me, Geoffrey,’ she added reproachfully, ‘that the fire-escape would be safe.’

  ‘And so it was,’ Archie put in irrepressibly, ‘here you are amongst us without a bruise or blain, with never a weal nor a woe. Geoffrey saw to that. But I told him how to do it.’

  ‘Idiot,’ laughed Veronica happily.

  They were walking quickly along the sea-front, in the direction of the villa in which Archie’s cousin lived. In the little square behind Veronica’s hotel everything had been deserted, but here people were still to be seen in spite of the lateness of the hour. The two men were keeping to the well-lighted routes, although this involved something of a detour; but with Veronica in their company this was the merest prudence. Archie had said that Monte Carlo always struck him as more respectable than a London suburb, but now it was beginning to seem that in Monte Carlo one never knew.

  The villa of Archie’s cousin lay at the Monaco end of the town. It was a long walk and all three were keeping their eyes open for a taxi; but like all taxis all the world over, when one was particularly wanted it failed to materialise. They proceeded to make what pace they could on foot.

  Veronica kept glancing behind her. After all their unexpected appearances she could not believe that neither Fritz nor Hans was going to bob up suddenly and present an entirely fresh revolver at them; but after a few hundred yards even she felt satisfied that no one was following them. She breathed a sigh of relief.

  At the same moment Archie sighted a taxi crawling along behind them and hailed it eagerly. As if the driver really could not be bothered to hurry, it came up very slowly but reached them at last. Geoffrey opened the door for Veronica and Archie stepped up to the driver to give him the address of his cousin’s villa, when he was startled by a cry from Veronica, who was gesticulating towards the interior of the taxi.

  Geoffrey looked in through the door.

  ‘Oh, my goodness,’ he groaned. ‘The Spanish woman!’

  ‘Dead?’ asked Archie incredulously.

  XI

  ‘Dead?’ Geoffrey repeated. ‘Of course not dead. Why should she be dead?’

  ‘Sorry, I thought she was,’ said Archie. He peered into the taxi’s dim interior. ‘Vous n’êtes pas morte, madame?’ he asked politely.

  The lady leaned forward urgently. ‘Monsieur, save me!’ she implored.

  Archie turned to Geoffrey. ‘She’s not dead. That’s a nuisance, isn’t it?’

  ‘What did she say about saving her?’ Veronica asked distrustfully.

  ‘Ah, mademoiselle, I appeal to you, as one woman to another. I am in terrible danger. Only you can save me. Please, please get in here and let us drive to a café where I can tell you what it is you have done to me by taking my handbag. Please!’

  Geoffrey and Archie exchanged glances. ‘May as well hear what she’s got to say,’ suggested the former.

  Archie acquiesced, though not altogether without reluctance and the three got into the taxi.

  It was not difficult to find a café that was open all night and within a few minutes all four were seated round a table in a terrace overlooking the harbour.

  The Spanish-looking lady plunged without heisitation into her story. The document about which all the fuss had been made was, she explained frankly, a code letter from a gentleman who was not her husband. It was, not to put too fine a point upon it, a love-letter. The Spanish-looking lady regretted that such things should be, but there it was. The man who had paid the call at Geoffrey’s room was her husband. He suspected and he meant to get hold of the letter at all costs. Equally at all costs the gentleman who was not her husband was determined to prevent him, by getting hold of the letter himself and burning it. It had been for this purpose that he had obtained it at the point of the revolver from the three of them in Veronica’s room at the Magnificent. Unfortunately, however, Geoffrey and the water-jug between them had prevented the success of this plan.

  ‘I hope I didn’t do the gentleman too much damage,’ said Geoffrey courteously.

  The Spanish-looking lady brushed the damage aside. ‘It was nothing. It would take more than that to hurt him,’ she said proudly.

  ‘But why didn’t he explain the situation, instead of brandishing a revolver?’ Archie wanted to know.

  ‘He did not think that it would be of any use. He thought you would not believe him. I do not know why. I told him to explain and, as men of honour, of course you should give the letter to him, but he said not. It was foolish. Ah!’ The lady started dramatically. ‘Here he is!’

  Geoffrey and Archie stiffened and then rose. Their late opponent was making his way towards them, a deprecatory smile on his lips.

  ‘I was sitting the other side and saw you come in. May I sit with you? It is very kind. You bear no ill-will, I see. Nor I.’ With a slight smile he touched a piece of sticking plaster in his hair. ‘It is nothing. A little headache, nothing. You have told them, my dear? Yes, yes. You see, gentlemen, we have all been making a great trouble about a small matter: small, that is, for you, but for us not. I could not tell you before, since a lady’s name was involved; you will understand that. But now, you leave us no alternative. We throw ourselves on your mercy. Do not, we entreat you, restore the letter to this lady’s husband.’

  ‘We never intended to,’ Archie said shortly, taking a sip of his drink.

  ‘I am delighted. I thought you did. I do not even ask you to restore it to me. All I ask is that you burn it, here and now, so that this lady and I may know ourselves safe.’

  ‘Sorry,’ Archie said and his tone was undisguisedly sceptical. ‘Nothing doing.’

  ‘But why not? My dear sir, why not?’

  ‘Yes, dash it,’ Geoffrey put in. ‘Why not? I’m all in favour. I’ll burn the thing and have done with it.’

  ‘Ah,’ said the lady admiringly, ‘you are a true English gentleman.’

  ‘Oh, I don’t know about that,’ Geoffrey s
aid modestly and, disregarding Archie’s frowns and headshakings, drew from his pocket the cause of all the trouble. ‘This is it, isn’t it? he asked, showing it and yet holding it so that the other could not take it.

  ‘That is it,’ nodded the man.

  ‘Then here goes,’ said Geoffrey. Under the eyes of the other four he crumpled the thing into a ball, struck a match and lit it. Even a vicious kick on the ankle from Archie did not stop him.

  The newcomer watched it burning on the stone floor till Geoffrey ground out the ashes with his heel.

  ‘So!’ he said, with undisguised satisfaction and producing his cigarette case, offered it round. Archie and Geoffrey exchanged glances. Both had noticed that the man’s thumb was curiously twisted, so that the nail faced almost inwards. The malformation seemed oddly sinister.

  For a few moments the ill-assorted party remained, talking a little stiltedly about the weather and other Monte Carlo topics and it was noticeable that the only one who appeared completely at ease was the man with the twisted thumb. Then, with an air of natural authority, he rose.

  ‘It is quite time, my dear, now that our little business is settled, that you were getting back to your hotel. You are ready? So!’

  Polite farewells were exchanged and the couple departed.

  Geoffrey watched them out of sight. ‘We’ll give them five minutes, for safety,’ he said, ‘and than sing hey for Cousin Bobby.’

  ‘Cousin Bobby?’ Veronica said in surprise.

  ‘Cousin Bobby!’ Archie echoed disgustedly. ‘What’s the use of Cousin Bobby now that you’ve spoilt the whole thing? Of all the transparent yarns I ever heard! Fancy you being taken in by such stuff.’

  Geoffrey grinned. ‘I’m not quite such a fool as all that, Archie. Instead I took the lot of you in myself. Don’t you remember my famous card-trick? Well, I palmed that document in exactly the same way. Here it is. What I burnt was an old bill for cleaning white flannel trousers.’

  XII

  ‘All right,’ said Geoffrey as they got out of the taxi, ‘I’ll pay the man.’ He went round to the driver’s seat and gave him a note. The man took it. Geoffrey promptly seized him by the scruff of the neck, hauled him bodily out of his seat and hit him shrewdly on the point of the chin. The man collapsed on the pavement.