Bodies from the Library

by Tony Medawar

  Mary Christianna Milne, best known as Christianna Brand, was born in 1907 in what was then the British protectorate of Malaya.

  While her earliest known crime story, Death Goes Swimming or The Black Swimming Cap, was written as a child, her first published short stories were light romantic fiction. It was not until after her marriage to the surgeon Roland Lewis, at the comparatively late age of 30, that she took up detective stories. Overcoming hatred of her father and coupling his middle name with her own, she became Christianna Brand. Her first book, Death in High Heels, featuring Inspector Charlesworth, was published in 1941 and it gave the young author a great deal of satisfaction by allowing her to ‘kill’ an obnoxious colleague. Brand’s second novel was written during the London Blitz and for this mystery, Heads You Lose, Brand created a new character, Inspector Cockrill of the Kent police. ‘Cockie’ was based on her beloved father-in-law and the book sold well. Her third book, Green for Danger, was an even greater success and was filmed with the great character actor Alastair Sim playing Cockrill. A further five novels appeared before, for family reasons, Brand abandoned detective fiction for twenty long years. But, a writer to her soul, Brand did not—could not—abandon writing altogether, working on film scripts and producing more short stories and a series of novellas for women’s magazines, as well as playing an active part in the Detection Club and the Crime Writers’ Association. Brand also wrote three books for children featuring Nurse Matilda, a nursemaid who also happens to be a witch, which were adapted by Emma Thompson for two films in which she played the lead role.

  In the mid-1970s, Brand resumed her career as a detective novelist with a series of compelling mysteries. These late books include The Honey Harlot, a fictional exploration of the mystery and myths surrounding the Mary Celeste, as well as The Rose in Darkness with Inspector Charlesworth and A Ring of Roses, which was expanded from a short story and brought back Inspector Chucky, a memorable Welsh policeman who had appeared nearly thirty years earlier in Brand’s excellent novel, Cat and Mouse (1950).

  Renowned for her ingenuity and humour, Christianna Brand was one of the best writers of the Golden Age who, but for the hiatus in her career, would undoubtedly be better known today. At her death, in 1988, she left a mass of unpublished material including two novels, Take the Roof Off and The Chinese Puzzle, featuring Cockrill, as well as a Charlesworth novella and many more criminous short stories, which will form the basis of a second posthumous collection to be published in 2020.

  The story included in this collection, ‘The Rum Punch’, was originally planned as a newspaper serial and this is its first publication.

  BLIND MAN’S BLUFF

  (Being another adventure of Max Carrados, the celebrated blind detective)

  Ernest Bramah

  This play was written in 1917–1918 and some characters use offensive language or otherwise behave in a way that reflects the prejudices and insensitivities of the period.—T.M.

  CHARACTERS

  HUGH DARRAGH: Age 40. Polished, plausible, clean-cut man of the World. An adventurer.

  VIOLET DARRAGH: Age 25. His wife, passing (for Hulse’s benefit) as his sister. Assumes a vivacious attitude in Hulse’s presence. Afraid of Darragh and has a timid, repressed style when with him alone. Undecided in her attitude towards Kato.

  KATO KUROMI: A Japanese. Age 30. Rather under average height, strongly built. Pleasant, genial, smiling, amused and amusing. A little contemptuous in an undemonstrative way of Darragh of whom he is not afraid.

  JOHN BERLINGER HULSE: Age 28. An American attaché, genial, blunt, unsuspicious but not dense. Temporarily in love with Violet and taking all her people on trust as a matter of course.

  MR TIMS: Elderly. A tailor’s machinist. Deferential and depressed. Seedily dressed.

  POLICE CONSTABLE

  And:

  MAX CARRADOS: the blind detective, temporarily employed by the American government to keep Hulse out of danger, unknown to him

  Scene: a drawing room in London

  Time: nine p.m., some time after the declaration of war by the United States

  (Curtain rises on Darragh, Violet and Kato. DARRAGH is reading an evening paper. He has a cold and distant air. VIOLET is watching him in anxious and timid expectancy. KATO is observing them both as he studies the position of half a dozen pieces on a chess board. A clock strikes nine)

  DARRAGH: Hulse was meant to be here at nine o’clock.

  VIOLET: (with a start) Oh, yes, Hugh—about nine.

  DARRAGH: (with a deep breath) And Tims promised that he wouldn’t be a minute later than eight with the coat complete. Good Lord! That I have to depend on such rotten tools! (crushes the paper in his hand with dull passion)

  VIOLET: I … I … (stops timidly)

  DARRAGH: (with deadly politeness) yes, Violet? You were about to say …?

  VIOLET: Nothing, Hugh. Really, nothing at all.

  DARRAGH: (in the same vein) Oh yes, Violet. I am sure you had some helpful little suggestion to make … The situation, Kato, to put it bluntly is this. If that wretched tailor Tims isn’t here with that coat before young Hulse arrives, a month’s patient shadowing and preparation, our ingenious plan, all our careful rehearsing and the best chance mortal ever had of landing a veritable fortune at one scoop simply go to the devil! And Violet is about to remark that perhaps Mr Tims has forgotten to wind up his watch or poor Mrs Tims’ cough is worse … go on Violet, don’t be diffident.

  KATO: (making a move on chess board) Pawn take White Queen and Check given in one move … (to DARRAGH as he replaces chessmen in box) If it is written to be, it will be, my friend. Who says? Perhaps.

  (DARRAGH makes a gesture of annoyance and contempt and is moving towards the door)

  VIOLET: (getting up and crossing towards window) Perhaps I can see …

  DARRAGH: (stopping and calling sharply) Good heavens, Violet, do have a grain of sense! You know how strict the police are with the lighting regulations here. Open the blind an inch and we shall have the police in on us. Do you understand, the Police, and the devil knows what they may find out then. Oh, come away, idiot and sit down.

  (VIOLET returns to seat)

  DARRAGH: (as he goes out, scowling) You make me tired!

  (As DARRAGH closes the door after him KATO’s good-humoured face changes to a look of indignant resentment. He slowly rises to his feet with clenched hands and takes a step towards the door as if irresistibly drawn on)

  VIOLET: (laughing a little with bitter mirthlessness from the sofa on which she has seated herself). Is it true, Katie, that you are the greatest ju-jitsuist outside Japan?

  KATO: (becoming gentle at once) Polite other people have say so.

  VIOLET: And yet you cannot keep down even your own little temper.

  KATO: (crosses towards Violet and regards her for a moment). I can keep down my temper so admirably that I—whose ancestors are samurai, that is great nobleman and most high princes—have been enabled to become thief and swindler and … and … low down dog to laugh at it. What matter anything with me connected? Perhaps, (seriously) but there are three ideals above me at which I do not laugh. My Emperor (inclines his head slightly), my country and you, beautiful white lady (becoming everyday again) … and so, on three occasions, my temper slightly get the better of me.

  VIOLET: Poor Katie—or poor me. I wish things might have been different. But there (hardening) we’re all of a colour, my good man—a gang of crooks and I’m as crooked as any of you.

  KATO: No. No. It isn’t so. It isn’t you of yourself. Is we bad fellows around you. Your husband ought never to have brought you into these things—and then to allow you—to compel you to—ah that is why, as you say, my temper ju-jitsues me. This time it is the worst of all—this young American, Hulse, for whose benefit you pass as the sister of your husband. Oh, how any mortal possessing you—

  VIOLET: (lighting cigarette) Business, my dear man, strictly business. We aren’t a firm of family solicitors. Jack Hulse had to be
fascinated, and I—well, if there’s any hitch, it isn’t exactly my fault! (smiles on him bewitchingly)

  KATO: (fascinated) Yes. Infatuated has become that so susceptible young man until you lead him about like pet lamb at the end of blue ribbon. Business. Perhaps. But how far must you have gone to find out all that you have done? (torn by jealousy at the thought). Violet, you have been so successful with this Hulse that I tremble at the thoughts that will rise up at me although I know how good and true you are at heart. And your husband—Darragh—he—(laughs scornfully)—business—very good business—and he forces you to do this so shameful thing and make mock of you for the pains!

  VIOLET: Kato—

  KATO: (thoroughly wound up) I am what your people say—Yellow man—and you are beautiful white queen of my dreams—dreams—dreams that I would not stir a finger to spoil by making real. But if I were he (nods towards door) not ten thousand times the ten thousand pounds that Hulse carries would tempt me to lend you to another man’s arms.

  VIOLET: (pettishly) Oh, Katie, how horrid you are!

  KATO: Horrid of me to say, but ‘business’ for you to do! Violet, you have found out for us that Hulse carries this packet of securities with him night and day, that he has them in the left breast pocket of his coat. You have learned exactly the shape and size that the packet makes and you have even discovered that for safety he sews up the pocket so that it cannot possibly be picked. Good. Business. Your husband cares not for anything so long as we succeed. But I, Kato Kuromi, care (raising his voice) How, how have you found is out? Now, unless you and Hulse—

  (DARRAGH is heard off right)

  VIOLET: (in consternation) ‘Sssh

  KATO: (controlling his passion in his usual soft accents) Oh. Yes, the views in the valley of Kedu are very fine and the river—

  DARRAGH: (he has entered at the last words. He comes in briskly and in a much better temper than when he went out. He notices nothing.) It’s all right. Tims is here (speaking to someone outside through the door which he has left open, still at the door). Come in, Tims, come on, hurry up

  (Enter TIMS carrying a brown paper parcel)

  DARRAGH: (again thro’ doorway) And, Harris, when Mr Hulse comes, show him into the morning room at first. Not up here, you understand? (closes door) Now, Tims.

  TIMS: (as he unfastens the parcel) I’m sorry to be a bit late, Mr Darragh. I was delayed.

  DARRAGH: Oh well, never mind now.

  VIOLET: Is Mrs Tims well?

  TIMS: (turning his back on them all, still untying) No, miss. She’s better now. (He swallows a sob) She’s dead, died an hour ago. That’s why I wasn’t quite able to be here at eight.

  (VIOLET gives a little moan of sympathy. KATO regards Tims with tranquil curiosity)

  DARRAGH: Devilish lucky you were able to get here by now in the circumstances, Tims.

  TIMS: Well, sir, you see I shall need the money all the same now—though not quite for the same purpose as I had planned. There (shakes out a dinner jacket which he has now taken from the parcel). I think you’ll find that quite satisfactory sir.

  (DARRAGH takes the jacket and passes it to VIOLET with an enquiring air. She lightly examines it and seems satisfied)

  DARRAGH: Exactly the same as your people made for Mr Hulse a week ago.

  TIMS: To a stitch, sir. A friend of mine up at the shop got the measurements, and the cloth is a length from the same piece.

  DARRAGH: But the cut, Tims? The cut is the most important thing. It makes all the difference in the world.

  TIMS: Yes, sir, you may rely on that, I used to be a first class cutter before I took to drink, Mr Darragh, sir. I am yet, when I’m steady. And I machined both coats myself.

  DARRAGH: That’ll be alright then. Now, you were to have—?

  TIMS: (apologetically) Ten guineas and the cost of the cloth you promised, sir. Of course, it’s a very big price, sir, and I won’t deny that I’ve been a bit uneasy about it from time to time.

  DARRAGH: (hurrying him up) That’s all right—

  TIMS: I shouldn’t like to be doing anything underhanded—anything wrong, sir. And when you stipulated that it wasn’t to be mentioned to anybody—

  DARRAGH: Well, well, man, it’s a bet, didn’t I tell you? I stand to win a clear hundred if I can fool Hulse over this coat. That’s the long and short of it.

  TIMS: I’m sure I hope it is, sir. I’ve never been in trouble for anything yet. It would break my wife’s ’eart—(stops suddenly as he remembers. His voice breaks. Then without another word he makes shakily for the door, covering his face with one hand)

  DARRAGH: (as TIMS disappears) Pay him, Kato, and let him out. I’ll square up with you afterwards.

  KATO: (following TIMS) All right-o!

  DARRAGH: Now, Violet, slip into it. Hulse will be here at any moment now, and we don’t want to keep him waiting. (takes small packet out of a drawer and hands it to her) Have you got the right cotton? Here’s the dummy packet. Here you are.

  VIOLET: (slipping dummy packet into left breast pocket of coat and beginning to stitch it up quickly with a needle and cotton she has produced) Yes, Hugh … and, Hugh—

  DARRAGH: (impatiently) Yes, yes?

  VIOLET: I don’t want to know all your plans, Hugh, but I want to warn you. You are running a most tremendous risk with Kato.

  DARRAGH: Oh, Kato. Pooh!

  VIOLET: It is serious, Hugh. He is patriotic before everything else, and your scheme—well, our scheme—makes him unwittingly a traitor to his own country. When he learns that the packet which we have lifted from Jack Hulse contains not ten thousand pounds but a report of the most confidential nature from America to France, connected with the entire strategy and details of the American forces there, that you are selling this—that you have already sold it—to agents for Germany, something terrible may happen.

  DARRAGH: It might, Violet. And therefore I haven’t told him. Furthermore, I’m arranging it so that he will never know. Cheer up, Violet there will be no tragedy. All the same, my girl, thanks for the warning (lays a hand carelessly on her shoulder). It shows a proper regard for your husband’s welfare.

  VIOLET: (affected by this unusual mildness Oh, Hugh, Hugh, if only you were more often—

  (The door is opened quietly but very quickly and KATO re-enters. Closes door)

  KATO: Here’s a pretty go. Hulse has come and brought someone with him.

  (All stand aghast for a moment)

  DARRAGH: Damnation. That ruins everything. What ghastly muddle have you made now, Violet?

  VIOLET: I? I don’t know. I never dreamt of such a thing (To Kato) Are you sure?

  KATO: (nodding) Slow man. Fellow who walks … (stretches out his arm and walks a step with slow deliberation)

  VIOLET: Blind! Its Max Carrados. They’ve been great friends lately. Hulse has told me all about him. Carrados is most awfully clever in his own way but stone blind. Hugh, Hugh, don’t you see? It makes no difference after all. Carrados can be in here and yet with all his sharpness he won’t have a suspicion of what is going on!

  KATO: True, if he is blind.

  DARRAGH: (hurrying out) I’ll make sure, Kato—(indicates finished coat to the Japanese)

  (KATO makes a gesture of assent and proceeds to change his coat for the new one, first rumpling the latter slightly to take off all the edge of its newness. His own coat he puts carefully away. This is complete comfortably by the time DARRAGH is heard returning with his guests. Enter DARRAGH. He waits at the door and while there he throws a swift and significant glance to Violet and with emphasis points to the buttonhole in the left lapel of his coat, trying to indicate that someone who is coming has a flower in their buttonhole, and at the same time jerking his head backwards towards the passage outside. The meaning of this is seen an instant later for when HULSE appears he is wearing a flower in his buttonhole)

  (turning and speaking through the doorway) Take your time, Mr Carrados

  (Enter CARRADOS and HULSE)

  V
iolet, a new friend for you—Mr Carrados. Mr Carrados, my sister.

  (VIOLET and CARRADOS bow)

  CARRADOS: Not to see you, exactly, Miss Darragh, but nonetheless, I hope, to know you as well as if I did.

  HULSE: (who has meanwhile shaken hands with Violet) I wanted you to know Max before I went, Miss Darragh, so I took the liberty of bringing him round.

  VIOLET: You are going, then?

  HULSE: Yes. I’ve got the orders I’ve been waiting for. Twelve hours from now I hope to be in Paris. I should say ‘I dread to be in Paris’ for it may mean a long absence, but Max is going to write to me whenever he meets you—or meets anyone who has met you—or—well, so forth, just to cheer me up.

  VIOLET: Take care, Mr Hulse, gallantry by proxy is a dangerous game!

  HULSE: That’s just it. Max is the only man I shouldn’t be jealous of—because he can’t see you!

  (VIOLET smiles and is leaning slightly forward. She delicately smells the flower in his buttonhole. With an enquiring look—an unspoken ‘Will you accept it?’ HULSE unpins the flower and offers it to her. She takes it and arranges it in her dress. DARRAGH meanwhile has been slowly crossing the room towards Kato but slyly observing the others with backward glances. The moment he sees Hulse touch the flower to remove it he is up to Kato, speaking decisively)

  DARRAGH: It’s alright. We carry on.

  KATO: According to programme?

  DARRAGH: Exactly as we had arranged. Come across now (DARRAGH turns to the group with KATO. As he nears them) I don’t think either of you know Mr Kuromi—Mr Hulse, Mr Carrados.

  (They shake hands)

  HULSE: I am particularly anxious to meet Mr Kato. Miss Darragh has told me what a wonderful master of ju-jitsu you are.

  KATO: Oh well—Little knack, you know. You are interested?

  HULSE: Yes indeed. I regard it as a most useful acquisition at any time, and particularly now. I only wish I’d taken it up when I had the leisure.

  VIOLET: Let me find you a chair, Mr Carrados. I am sure you won’t be interested in such a strenuous subject as ju-jitsu. (she takes his arm)