Uncharted Passage

by Julie Cannon

  Anger welled up inside Hayden and she would have strangled Emily’s parents if they were in front of her right now. “You could never be an embarrassment.”

  “Tell that to my parents. They certainly think otherwise.” Emily didn’t even try to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

  “I’m sorry.” Her response sounded hollow.

  Emily stopped, tears choking her. The gentleness in Hayden’s voice was something she had not heard from her own parents since she quit the Institute, and hot tears burned her cheeks.

  “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

  Emily immediately buried her face in Hayden’s neck and sobbed. Her head fit perfectly under Hayden’s chin and a sense of déjà vu floated over her, as if Emily had been there forever. It felt right. She felt powerful and would do everything in her power to keep Emily safe. She held her close, and a little hand with chipped pink nail polish reached out and patted Emily on her back.

  “It’s okay, don’t cry.” Victoria offered her own form of comfort.

  Hayden’s arms were safe and Emily expelled the long-held pain over her parents’ betrayal in sobs that racked her body. Several minutes later she dried her tears. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why that happened. I’m not usually like this, I don’t know what came over me.” Embarrassed, she turned away.

  “Hey.” Hayden didn’t let her escape. “It’s okay. We’re in a stressful situation here and our emotions are a little raw.”

  “I’ve never told anyone about what happened. Not even Julia, a friend of mine who took me to the shelter in the first place.” Emily wiped her face with her free hand.

  Hayden’s heart ached at the pain that was reflected in the brown eyes pooling with tears. “I’m honored you shared it with me.”

  Tears barely held in check threatened to spill over from Hayden’s gentle tone and soft eyes. One lone tear had a mind of its own and slowly trickled down her cheek.

  Hayden’s hand shook when her thumb wiped the tear from Emily’s face. The skin was so incredibly soft that Hayden was overwhelmed with the need to touch it again. This time the backs of her fingers gently caressed the check now free of any evidence of tears. Red lips beckoned to be kissed and Hayden slipped her hand to the back of Emily’s neck, her eyes never leaving the moist lips.

  Unconsciously, Emily licked her lips and desire flared in Hayden’s eyes. Emily was simultaneously frightened and thrilled at the intensity she felt in Hayden’s arms. She wanted to be kissed, no, she needed to be kissed by this strong stranger, the sensation so powerful it frightened her. She leaned forward to meet Hayden’s lips halfway when a sound penetrated her foggy head. She jerked her head back.

  “Did you hear that?” Emily scanned the horrific scene in front of her, swearing the sound she heard came from somewhere to her right.

  Caught up in the desire to kiss Emily, Hayden took several seconds longer to gather her wits. “What?”

  “I heard something, I know I did. It sounded like someone moaning, and it was coming from over there.” Emily started in that direction but Hayden caught her arm to stop her.

  “Wait. You stay with the kids, I’ll check it out.” She’d heard the sound and knew whoever it was must be severely injured. She wanted to spare Emily additional horror, and the children certainly didn’t need to see it either.

  The tone of Hayden’s voice left no doubt as to her seriousness, and Emily was too tired to argue. She set Victoria on the ground and took hold of Jake’s hand to keep him next to her.

  Hayden gingerly stepped over debris as the moaning grew louder with each tentative step. Her stomach clenched as she passed a wheelchair stuck in the mud a few feet from an elderly man showing no signs of life. The sound returned, this time near her feet. Hayden moved a large piece of corrugated metal, hot to the touch from the metal baking in the sun. What she saw no one should ever have to see.

  The child was not more than a year old and still securely strapped in her stroller. Her yellow sundress was soiled with dirt, and the matching yellow bow in her hair stood out like a beacon of daylight. She looked like she was simply sleeping, like she had probably done many times before, but Hayden knew otherwise. A leaf was covering one eye, and Hayden’s hands shook as she removed it, quietly saying a prayer.

  The child’s mother moved, startling Hayden, and she jumped. “Jesus.” Hayden reacted and knelt beside the woman, who moaned again. “It’s okay, I’m here.” Hayden’s EMT training kicked in and she noted that the woman’s breathing was shallow and quick. Her head lay in a pool of blood and Hayden suspected she had a severe injury to the back of her head. Her pupils were dilated, her skin clammy. A cement block too large for Hayden to move covered the woman from her breasts to mid thigh. There was nothing Hayden could do for her, and it was only a matter of time before she succumbed to her injuries.

  “My baby?” the woman asked, spitting blood as she coughed. “Is my baby all right?”

  It was then that Hayden noticed the woman’s hands were wrapped tightly around the handle of the stroller like an umbilical cord to her child. Hayden fought down the nausea that was threatening to overtake her. Large, hopeful eyes looked up at her, piercing her soul.

  “Is my baby okay?” she rasped in desperation.

  The woman grasped Hayden’s hand with more force than she thought was possible. It tore at her heart that the woman was more concerned with her child than her own injuries. The love of a mother for her child was never ending. She swallowed hard and lied.

  “She’s fine.” Peace replaced panic in the woman’s pleading eyes. They closed and the woman took one last ragged breath. She died holding Hayden’s hand.

  *

  Hayden stumbled back to Emily and the children, the image of the woman and child burned in her brain forever. She was numb and didn’t feel the piece of exposed metal scratch her leg as she passed. Her mind was focused on getting back to the soft, peaceful eyes beckoning to her fifteen yards away. Those eyes were drawing her into warmth and understanding. Step after step took her closer to home.

  As Hayden gingerly threaded her way across the dangerous terrain, Emily silently thanked her for insisting she stay with the children. She didn’t know how much more death she could take. She had no way of knowing what Hayden had found under the debris, but by the dazed look on her face it had been disturbing. The pain drew Emily the last few steps and she gathered Hayden into her arms.

  With one hand on Hayden’s back and the other tangled in her hair, she murmured soothing words to the woman who had been so strong for them. Her heart ached and she wanted to protect Hayden from the world’s ugliness and felt helpless that she couldn’t, that they were walking through it.

  Hayden struggled with her emotions, fighting the urge to stay cocooned in Emily’s arms. An unfamiliar sense of peace settled over her and if she were to die at this moment, she would die happy. She’d come to Thailand seeking escape from her life for a few days. She wanted nothing more challenging than deciding which swimsuit to wear that day.

  Hayden was career Army, from the tips of her highly polished shoes to the sparkling insignia on her collar. A graduate of West Point like five generations before her, she knew when she was eleven years old that her father would make her the general he never was.

  She knew she was different from the other little girls in the neighborhood. When most of her friends were talking about boys and getting married, Hayden was dreaming of commanding troops into battle and riding in a tank. When other teenage girls were earning extra money babysitting neighbors’ children, she was practicing parade march and reading books on military strategy. She never wondered which parental gene she had inherited. She was her father’s daughter.

  It was several years into her first assignment and out from under his constant scrutiny when she realized that she definitely was just like her father. She found that she liked women and embarked on her first affair with a nurse at the ripe old age of twenty-six. She’d never looked back, prefe
rring her women with no regrets and few entanglements.

  Lately, however, Hayden had been plagued with a vague sense of anxiousness. The normal routines and structure that she usually thrived on were now more choking than comforting. The clear purpose of her life had turned foggy. The responsibilities that filled her days and were once challenging now were simply an annoying nuisance. The prying eyes of her “Big Brother,” the U.S. Army, had burned a hole in her back that no salve could soothe. The weight of masking who she was beneath bureaucracy, regulations, and conduct becoming an officer was crushing the life out of her, and she didn’t know what to do about it.

  Warm breath tickled her ear, bringing Hayden back to the present. As much as she didn’t want to, she straightened and stepped out of Emily’s arms but could not look at her. She squared her shoulders, her military training too much a part of her DNA to lie dormant for long. “Let’s go.”

  They picked their way through the debris, carrying the children for the remainder of the afternoon. The change in Hayden’s demeanor after her discovery troubled Emily. The casual chatting and near banter they shared earlier in the day had vanished and Emily missed it. Hayden had moved Jake to her shoulders, her gait more determined than before. She kept her head down, glancing up only occasionally to check their route.

  “Hayden, your leg is bleeding.” Emily hadn’t noticed the injury before, but the dried blood on the outside of her leg could not be missed.

  Finally Hayden stopped. She glanced at her leg. The cut was about two inches long but not deep. Blood welled in a slow trickle. “It’s just a scratch.” Her voice was flat. “We’ll stay here for the night.”

  Hayden plucked Jake from her shoulders and set him gently on the concrete slab that would be their bed for the night. Hayden recognized the structure as one of the few houses made of block on the beach, and had a fleeting thought of the children’s fairy tale The Three Little Pigs. This house still had its roof, which would keep them dry from the nightly rain, and the three sides that remained would ward off any chill. She had been looking for a place to spend the night, but every structure they passed didn’t look safe. The tsunami had knocked down walls and roofs, often leaving only the foundation as evidence that a building was even there in the first place.

  Most troubling was the need for fresh water. Large bodies of water were everywhere, some spanning several hundred yards, but they sampled the first one they came upon and almost gagged from the salt water of the Indian Ocean. Remnants of the tsunami filled buckets and tires and anything that could hold water, but whatever fresh water there might have been in the area was now contaminated. Several times the children had asked for something to drink, and Hayden was concerned that they were all becoming dehydrated in the warm, humid conditions.

  “Don’t go too far,” Emily cautioned the children needlessly. They had not drifted from their side since Hayden plucked them from the water. Emily reflected on the resilience of children. She had seen children in the most challenging situations, and despite their socioeconomic conditions they were always ready with a smile and for an adventure.

  “I’m gonna look around a little bit. If this was a house, maybe there’s some food the water didn’t wash away. We need water and something to eat if we’re going to make it back to the beach.” Hayden frowned, realizing this was the first time she questioned if they in fact would make it. She brushed the thought from her mind.

  “Okay, I’ll see what I can find too. There’s got to be something around here. A can of soda or, God help us, a bottle of water.” Emily’s mouth was parched from hours in the sun and the children had been dangerously quiet.

  “Be careful, there’s glass and nails everywhere,” Hayden said, dodging a broken window as she spoke.

  Still distracted, Emily wasn’t paying attention to where she was going and ran directly into a jagged piece of rebar sticking out at an odd angle from a block of concrete. “Shit!” she exclaimed, grabbing her thigh, the blood seeping from between her fingers and dripping down her calf. It started to burn and she battled a wave of nausea.

  “God damn it, Emily. I said be careful,” Hayden barked. Her heart raced at the sight of Emily’s blood, and she ran to her side and knelt in front of the wound. “Jesus.” The gash was just above her left knee and was about three inches long and deep. Hayden’s hands shook as she fought her natural instinct to touch the gash, not wanting to add to the germs that were already teeming inside the wound.

  “Christ, Hayden, it’s not like I did this on purpose,” Emily snapped. Hayden’s anger confused her and she momentarily forgot the pain in her leg.

  “Do you have any idea how dangerous a cut can be in these conditions?” The wound bled profusely and Hayden looked around, searching for something to clean it. Finding nothing even remotely dirt free, Hayden gave up and concentrated on the amount of blood flowing from Emily’s leg.

  “Of course I do, and I could say the same thing about you.” Emily pointed at the cut on Hayden’s leg. “Do you think I want to get some kind of infection? Jesus, it could kill me!” She hated it when people thought she was stupid.

  Hayden’s blood ran cold at the thought of the possible consequences if the wound could not be kept clean. She’d barked at Emily out of fear that she was seriously injured. As it was, the cut was deep but the bleeding was flushing out some of the germs. Hayden just hoped it was enough.

  Another sensation gripped Hayden, this one frightening her almost as much as imagining Emily falling ill. Hayden’s chest heaved from her shallow breathing. She forgot all about the wound, her concentration directed to the feel of the soft flesh under her hand. It was begging to be touched like fine silk cloth or the soft petal of a rose, and Hayden was powerless to fight the desire.

  Hayden couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, and couldn’t react to anything but the sensation of Emily’s skin under her fingers. She was consumed by the hard muscle covered by tanned flesh. Emily’s legs were like Emily herself, strong and powerful. Hayden’s face was eye level with Emily’s crotch and she swore she could smell her arousal. Her own arousal skyrocketed. She had touched more women than she could remember, but none with the reaction she was having with Emily. It shook her to the core.

  Warm cascades of liquid flowed through Emily’s body, each wave mirroring the soft caresses up and down her calf. Stroke by stroke, the passion in Hayden’s eyes burned brighter, and Emily had never felt so desired. Hayden’s hands caressed her body while her eyes embraced her soul. The unspoken connection with Hayden was powerful. She’d experienced the hands of many women, but none had touched her like this.

  “Hayden.” Her voice shook. She didn’t know if uttering Hayden’s name was a question or a plea. Her body was screaming, her senses on fire. She wanted Hayden to touch every inch of her body. She wanted to feel Hayden’s strong body on top of her. She needed to feel Hayden quivering under her touch. Emily wanted to be consumed by her.

  Unsettled by her attraction to Emily, Hayden dragged her attention back to the wound in front of her. It was bleeding steadily, and Hayden tore the bottom off her shirt and wrapped it around Emily’s leg.

  “You’re bleeding pretty good, but for now that’s good. It’ll help cleanse the wound of germs. It looks like a clean cut and can probably be stitched up pretty good when we get back. You’ll probably have a scar, but it’ll be another good party story.” Hayden tried to inject humor to deflect the tension that surrounded them. She stood.

  The abrupt change startled Emily and she staggered back. Hayden caught her arm before she tumbled over any more debris. “Are you okay?”

  “It hurts, but it’ll be all right.” Actually, it hurt like hell, but she wasn’t going to complain. “Thanks. You’ve come to my rescue again. You’d better be careful, a girl could get used to this.” And I am definitely that kind of girl.

  “Yeah, I know what you mean,” Hayden mumbled more to herself than in response.

  Luck was on their side and Hayden found two bottles of Coke
that had somehow not broken half buried in the mud. She thanked God they had screw tops and not the pop tops that required a can opener. She handed one to Emily and the other to Jake.

  “Just a little bit now. Don’t drink too much, your sister needs some too.” The little girl was grabbing at the bottle before her brother had taken it from his mouth. She took a few quick swallows before Hayden took it from her and replaced the cap.

  Hayden’s change of subject didn’t skip by Emily. She also didn’t miss her unselfishness with the kids. She’d carried the children most of the day, sometimes one on her shoulders and one in her arms, and had always made sure they had what they needed. Her dedication and sacrifice for their survival intrigued Emily. Her friends were more concerned with the strength of their morning latte than with anything else. Suddenly it all seemed so immaterial. Her stomach growled.

  “While, you’re at it, I’ll take a grilled chicken sandwich with Swiss and just a touch of spicy mayo.”

  She was rewarded with a twinkle in Hayden’s eyes. “White or wheat?”

  For some reason Emily suddenly felt giddy. “Wheat. And no tomatoes, I love tomatoes, just not on my sandwich.”

  The smile that followed made her legs weak. Hayden was not just the strong, competent hero she owed her life to. She was also funny, charming, and breathtakingly attractive. Emily scolded herself for her lascivious thoughts. They were in the middle of God knew where, having survived a horrific natural disaster, and here she was thinking about sex. How twisted was that? The object of those thoughts held out a large can of beans and a can of chicken soup, both of which miraculously had pop tops. Emily recognized the familiar label and her stomach growled again.

  “I never thought a can of beans could look so good.”

  “My thoughts exactly.” Hayden lifted the can of soup. “I can’t remember the last time I had chicken noodle soup. Even cold, it’s got to be good.”