Know Me: A 'Me' Novel (Book 3) (A 'Me' Series)

by Jeri Williams

  “Matthew, I’m serious, no.” Again with the giggling.

  “Do I have to put you over my shoulder?” I warned.

  “Yes,” she said quickly. A little too quickly. I waited a beat and took in her mischievous grin before bending and scooping her up into my arms, bridal style.

  “Hey! You were supposed to throw me over your shoulder, and I would get sick all down your back! Your ruined the plan, you plan ruiner!” she accused. I knew she was up to something.

  “Silly Rabbit.” I smirked and watched the myriad of emotions flash across her face until she settled on one; indignant.

  “I’m not speaking to you for five minutes!” she professed as she crossed her arms and turned her head away from me, driving her point home. I laughed as I walked up the rest of the steps and shifted her to one arm before unlocking the door and crossing the threshold.

  No sooner than I had kicked the door closed behind me, I heard soft little sighs and looked down to see Ember had passed out. “Five minutes, my ass.”

  I walked the short distance to our room and gently laid her on the bed. I reached for her jeans and made quick work of the buttons and tried to pull them off when she stirred.

  “Relax baby I’m just getting these off you.” Ember hated sleeping in anything other than underwear and tank; anything else made her feel suffocated.

  “I hate you,” she mumbled and flipped onto her stomach making my job of getting her jeans off ten times harder now. “But I love you,” she whimpered and that one sentence packed so much pain in it that it nearly knocked me on my ass. Shit.

  “I know baby,” I whispered even though I knew she had already fallen back to sleep. Fuck, I knew. I grabbed the denim at the top and pulled them around her waist. Thank fuck, I’d already undone them.

  It took me three minutes to get those jeans off and flip her onto her back and under the covers. I couldn’t resist touching my lips to hers, kissing her lightly. “I’m sorry baby.” Because I was. Sorrier than I initially thought I was. I knew I’d hurt her, I knew that, but hearing the hurt, the raw emotion behind her words, words that she’d said to me before. Tonight those words were somehow different, carried more weight and hurt than I could stand. I was a bastard, and at that moment, I couldn’t tell the difference between my father and me. We both hurt someone we loved, and I knew my father loved Deklan; he’s just an asshole. Like me. Fuck.

  I cracked the door and walked back to the guest bedroom against my body’s wishes. What I wanted was to wrap myself around Ember and fall asleep with her, but with the messed up thoughts in my head, I wouldn’t be sleeping for a long time, and I didn’t want to confuse her any more than she already was. I had to fix this; she was it for me, I knew that, but a small part of me wanted to let her be, agree to what she’d said before, let her get over me. The bigger, selfish part of me said fuck that. I was going to fight like hell to fix this because deep down Ember knew more about me than even I knew, and I would make her see that she was mine just as much as I was hers. I just had no idea how.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ember

  I knew I should move or open my eyes or something resembling movement and get up, but I couldn’t. Right now, in this moment everything was prefect. I could pretend that I hadn’t drunk myself into a sloppy mess and jiggled my bits for strangers to see and ogle. Only to have my ex or not so ex-boyfriend, who I was still so in love with take me home and be the perfect gentlemen. I mean really I was ripe for the taking last night, I was drunk but not so drunk I didn’t realize what was happening. But he didn’t even touch me outside of putting me into bed. Alone.

  All of that I was going to pretend didn’t happen and let this quite calm engulf me a little while longer.

  I had never really been drunk; it wasn’t something Harrington’s did, especially if they wanted to be prefect. Perfect people were not drunken messes; in public at least. But I had seen enough television shows to know that had I drunk enough I should have forgotten my actions from the previous night and been blissfully unaware the next day. I remembered everything. God, I remembered walking into Taste with determination to get drunk, and I remembered being willful and stubborn to Matt who really was just trying to help me and I remembered, ugh I remembered telling him I hated him…and telling him I loved him.

  Alcohol and I were not on speaking terms any longer, all it did was lower my guard and loosen my tongue! Alcohol couldn’t be the sole blame for this though. I knew why I did it. I did it because I was under the assumption that Matt didn’t care anymore, that he had given up on his quest to win me back. All because I’d had this stupid immature idea to make him pay and now I’d be alone for the rest of my life because he was my other half, my person.

  I used to think myself lucky to have actually found my three, my other half, the one that gets me like no one else can or will. But, laying here wondering about if he’d given up the chase had me thinking it would have been better if I had never fallen in love with him in the first place, then this empty feeling I’ve been feeling, this aloneness wouldn’t be suffocating me slowly. I’d go through life blissfully unaware of this hurt and anguish because to have your heart broken is anguish. It’s this thought that kept running, running, running through my head on a loop inside Taste that consumed me last night, causing me to sulk or wallow? Whatever…it gave me a reason to pout and pout hard.

  My phone chimed from where Matt must have left it on the nightstand next to me. Reaching over to grab it was a chore, and I worked hard to concentrate my blurry eyes on the screen. Wow, was that really the time: 12:45? I didn’t recall a time where I’d slept past 10:45, Lilly never allowed me to. Lazy people sleep past 9:00, and Harrington’s are not lazy. It had been her motto.

  Sliding it open, I saw at text from Mika asking if the plan worked.

  Me: If by worked you mean I said some things better left unsaid only to have him not care and leave me alone to sleep, then yes. Totally worked.

  Mika: He needs a solid kick in the nuts. I got just the thing. We are going to take this to the next level.

  Me: Abort the plan, he doesn’t care and I’m bordering on pathetic territory.

  Mika: Don’t worry E, I got this.

  I was too tired to even try and argue with her; honestly, I think she was getting more out of this than I was. I’d tell her I was done, like really done with all this getting even with Matt later. I dropped my phone back on the nightstand and tried to ignore the dull ache in my head and focus on how it all went to crap so fast. After the third drink of whatever the bartender was feeding me, the questions started to come full force. Questions that were just stupid but hey, it’s not like I was thinking rationally anyway, right? Questions like ‘will I be alone forever?’ Or ‘I wonder if he had money on how long I’d cave to him?’ Or ’if he gets married will he invite me to the wedding? Would I want to go?’ That depends on if it’s years for now or months, I guess. See?

  So stupid and yet I still found myself wanting answers to those questions even now. This was how crazy started. I should just devote the rest of my life to becoming the lonely chinchilla lady and call it a day. I rolled into a sitting position with the intent of getting something to drown the desert in my mouth only to pause. Holy wow, my head hurt!

  People did this for fun? I hadn’t even realized I’d groaned aloud, but I must have because Matt strolled in, looking extra freaking chipper and extra sexy in running shorts and nothing else. Meanwhile, I could feel how knotted my hair was from my drunken slumber, and I was pretty sure I smelled. His bare chest rippled with sweat and muscles, like a ton of ripply muscles rippled every time he moved. I was totally still a little tipsy.

  “Ugh,” I groaned again and pinched the bridge of my nose, fully aware this time of how audible it was.

  “Here.” He handed me three aspirin and a glass of strawberry milk, because this was probably a three aspirin and strawberry milk kind o
f pain and also because, maybe, he really did love me , weird number quirks and all.

  “Thank you,” I mumbled and became really interested in the contents of the cup because what else really could I say? Sorry just didn’t seem to cut it. I swallowed down the offered pills and milk and refused to make eye contact as he stood there watching me, looking all kinds of yummy.

  I reached over to put the milk on the nightstand, but he grabbed it from me and set it down.

  “You should probably get some more rest until the medicine kicks in,” he suggested and again, all I could do was nod while obsessed with his tennis shoes.

  “Ember, look at me,” he said softly, and dangit my head moved of its own accord, complying with his request. The second I locked eyes with him, everything I had been trying to bury came rushing back to the surface. His eyes were soft and I had fallen in love with that softness and had come to feel that it was really only reserved for me and his mom .

  “No amount of me apologizing for hurting you the way I did will ever be enough, I know this. But baby, also know that no amount of pushing me way will ever work. You love me, and I love you, and I will get us back.”

  I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. My throat was so clogged with tears that he became a blurry blob in front of me. Why would he have to say that now, when I’m feeling extra vulnerable. He couldn’t have picked a better time and I hated him and loved him for all at the same time.

  “Get some rest. I’ll wake you in a little bit to get ready for dinner with your dad,” he said then kissed the top of my head and walked out, closing the door softly behind him and leaving me with my racing thoughts.

  How did I process this? I loved him and I wanted him, but I was scared. So unbelievably scared. I was slowly taking back small pieces of my heart from him and everything he had done since coming back into my life had those pieces slipping back to him and now…now I didn’t know what to do. I grabbed my phone again and dialed Harley.

  “Hello?” she answered on the third ring.

  “Hey, I need to talk to you; are you free?” I desperately needed a non-petty opinion. Mika was good for scheming and getting even, but Harley was level headed, and while she wouldn’t tell me what to do, I wasn’t looking for that, she’d give me good thinking points.

  “Um, sure, what’s up?” she asked, but her voice sounded off.

  “Have you been crying?” I asked, immediately on high alert. I knew she was in therapy for her issues, and who wouldn’t be after everything she had been through, but I prayed she hadn’t relapsed and started using her old coping mechanisms again.

  “No.” She sniffed then I heard a pounding and Deklan’s muffled voice yell for her.

  “Harley, open the fucking door.”

  “Go to hell!” she yelled back.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked, panicked now. I knew that Harley was the calm to Deklan’s intensity, Like Yin and Yang, but right now this sound like a Mika and Spence fight. Oil and water.

  “Open the fucking door Harley before I kick it open.” I heard the anger through the phone, and it sent a chill down my back.

  “Harley, you guys are scaring me; what’s going on?” I demanded, halfway getting out of bed to force Matt take me to her.

  “Sorry Em, nothing. Deklan is just the biggest asshole ever. I’m fine, I promise.” She sniffed again.

  “You don’t sound fine. Why are you crying? Why are you guys fighting?”

  “I…”

  “Harley, I’m not fucking around. Open the damned door!” Deklan interrupted her, and she signed. “I have to call you back and deal with him or he’s going to cause us to have another repair bill.”

  “Wait, are you in trouble? I can be there in an hour. Are you okay?”

  “I’m not in any physical pain; Deklan would never hurt me that way. We just… I’ll call you back,” she said then disconnected the call before I could object.

  “Matt!” I screamed before I thought better of it. I had to get him to take me to Harley before something happened. Two seconds later Matt burst into the room and found me fumbling into my jeans.

  “What are you doing?” he asked alarmed.

  “I need you to take me to your brother’s house. Something is going on, and I need to get to Harley.”

  “What? Ember slow down.” He grabbed me by the arm as I was hopping into my shoes, grateful it hadn’t taken long for the medicine to kick in.

  “I called her, and she was crying, and Deklan was pounding on the door and being all Deklan and scary. I just need to get to her.”

  “Did she say she was in trouble?” he asked, his eyes concerned. He and Harley were not the best of friends, and I wasn’t sure if his concern was for her or his brother; right now, I really didn’t care as long as it got me there.

  “No, she said she was fine, he was just being an asshole, but she didn’t sound fine.”

  “Babe,” he chuckled and took my other shoe out of my hand and tossed it back on the floor.

  “What are you doing?” I asked as he steered me back to the bed.

  “She’s fine and whatever argument they are having has nothing to do with us. I know my brother; he’d never hurt a female, especially one he loved. He’s a Kane and a dickhead, not a punk bitch.”

  “Oh, he’s a Kane, like that’s supposed to make all the freaking sense in the world to me! He’s crazy!” Why was he not taking this seriously?

  “We don’t hit our women Ember. We may be assholes, but we would never hit a woman. It’s the lowest thing anyone who calls themselves a man could do. Royce taught us that much,” he said vehemently. Okay, I could believe that, but…

  “But, she was crying,” I protested, losing some of my steam. I was being a judgy bitch because Deklan was scary, and crying didn’t equate to him beating her. But what kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t at least make sure?

  “Would it make you feel better if I called him?” he offered.

  “Yes! On speaker so I can hear if he’s lying.” How I was going to tell if he was lying or not, I had no idea, but it sounded good. Matt rolled his eyes but pulled out his phone and hit his brother’s number on speaker.

  It rang three times before Deklan’s voice filled the room. “Now is not a good time Matty,” he barked out.

  “Can you tell Ember you’re not that big of an asshole and are not taking out your aggression on your girlfriend so she will calm down and stop insisting I drive her over there to rescue Harley?” I cut my eyes at him...well, when he put it that way…

  “The fuck? I’m not some little punk bitch who hits a female,” he said, and Matt just gave me that ‘told you so’ look. The jerk.

  “Then why was she crying, why has he locked herself away from you?” I challenged . Over the phone it was easy to be challenging. I had to be sure; I had failed her before, and I swore to myself that I wouldn’t ever again.

  “That’s none of your fucking business. If she wants to tell you that’s on her, but later. She’s fine,” he growled. Like, literally growled the words out. See why I checked?

  “God, you can’t yell at everyone Deklan! Stop being such a dick!” I heard Harley in the background sounding pissed and not fearful at all, and I relaxed a little more. She wasn’t screaming for help; she was okay.

  “Well, tell Harley to call me,” I said stubbornly. I was scared crap-less of Deklan, but I’d go up against him for Harley.

  “Fine,” he bit out then disconnected the call.

  “Told….”

  “If you say ‘told you so’ I swear I will hit you in the nuts,” I threatened, and he just chuckled and helped me back in bed .

  “Would you?” I asked as he was about to leave. He turned and gave me a questioning look.

  “If she had been in trouble, would you have taken me? Gone up against your brother if he was a punk bitch?”

&nb
sp; “In a heartbeat Rabbit. Try and sleep. I’ll wake you when it’s time to get ready for dinner,” he said simply and closed the door, taking the last small piece of my heart with him.

  Matt

  I couldn’t help but laugh grimly at what Ember though Deklan was capable of as I ignored yet another call from Royce. He’d been calling me twice a day since Spence and I hauled his ass up off the floor, made sure he woke up, and got the fuck out of there. It was funny that the one person who you would expect to have trouble controlling his fists because his father couldn’t, was the same one who’d rather cut off his hands than hurt the women he loved.

  Don’t get me wrong, my brother was a muthafucker to everyone, except the people he loved. Growing up, our father repeatedly stressed to me and my brother (when he wasn’t beating the shit out of him, I assume) that when you found the person you’d spend the rest of your life with, you cherished and worshiped them, not belittled, undermined, and hurt them.

  I knew I needed to settle this shit between me and my father, just like I needed to settle what was going on with me and Ember. Deep in my mind, I knew that I needed her help with the Royce shit. Ember had a way of putting things in simpler terms for me when I couldn’t see past anything but anger and hurt, which she did when Deklan left home and what she tried to do for me when my mom died, before I pushed her away.

  Shit, one thing at a time…

  “Rise and shine Rabbit, we have to meet your father in 40 minutes.” I knocked on her bedroom door loudly. I waited until I heard a sleepy grumble before I went about getting dressed. When Ember and I had first started dating, I did the whole dutiful boyfriend. I attended dinners and luncheons with her parents, both publicly and privately, you know, just plain ass kissery until I realized what a dick her father was.