Pure as the Lily

by Catherine Cookson

  ‘. Mr. Tollett me ma’s hurt her leg, broken it I think. She sent me to. to see to him in the meantime. Will I take him up? “

  He stared at her across the counter.

  “Alice hurt her leg? Oh dear me.

  Where? “

  “When she was going back home she slipped on a slide.”

  They want brainin’ that lot,” one of the women put in.

  “I nearly had me bloody feet whipped from under me me self Something should be done about those hairns, or the lazy bitches up street should clear their fronts “ Why should they when there’s enough men to do it? “ said another woman primly.

  “God knows they’ve got little enough to do; but clear the fronts, will they? Not them. Beneath the dignity of some of them to take a brush in their hands. The young ‘uns are the worst. Boxin’ matches or their pitch-’n-toss, they can find coppers for that. Oh aye.”

  Mary now passed Benjamin Tollett and stooped down to the child and picked him up in her arms, then went through the storeroom, out into the yard and up the other staircase, and entered a new world.

  As angry as she was against her mother, she couldn’t help but be impressed with what she saw. Everything was shining. She stood in the long room bouncing the child up and down in her arms and looked about her. There was a window at one end looking on to Cornice Street. It had a fine net curtain close to the panes, and at the sides hung green chenille curtains. At the other end of the room, along the side wall, was another window, and it had the same kind of drapery. There was a three-piece suite covered in chintz; and the fire place was even better than the one in Mrs. Turner’s, it was modern, very modern, all tiled with a raised hearth. She had never seen anything like it. And on each side of the fireplace, in the alcoves, were bookcases with glass fronts. One held books, the other pieces of pretty china. Set in the far corner of the room was a cabinet. The lid was up, and when she

  walked towards it she saw it was a gramophone, a fancy one called a radiogram. She had seen them advertised.

  When the child said, “Tea. I want tea,” she put him on the floor, saying, “Oh yes, dear; I’ll get your tea, come on.”

  She went out into the hallway again, and opened the first door going off it, and was amazed to see that this was a dining room, not as posh as Mrs. Turner’s because there were only two pieces of silver on the sideboard, but it was very nice. She hadn’t imagined Mr. Tollett going in for a separate dining-room; she thought they only ate like this round Bloom Crescent and Croft Terrace and places like that.

  The child struggled from her arms now and impatiently ran across the hallway and pushed open another door that revealed the kitchen. Here, too, net curtains were close to the window so that people couldn’t see in from across the road. She stood gazing about her, and she told herself she wouldn’t have believed it, the kitchen was far superior to Mrs. Turner’s. There was a modern gas stove, and besides a larder going off there was a separate china cupboard. But most amazing of all, next to the gas stove was a lift-up table and underneath was a copper, a washing copper which, she saw, was connected to a gas pipe.

  He had a gas copper, there was no need to use the wash house Still, she didn’t suppose they could get into the wash house it would be full of boxes. But all this luxury amazed her.

  The child tugging at her skirt and whining’ now brought her out of her dream, and she went about finding where things were kept. When she asked him if he had milk for his tea he replied bluntly, “No, tea... tea.”

  She gave him his meal on a little table set under the window. It consisted of weak tea, bread and butter and jam, a piece of Swiss roll and a plate of jelly and custard she found in the cupboard, and when he was finished he trotted away from her out of the kitchen, across the hallway and into another room. There was a cot in the corner, a play pen in the middle of the floor, and more toys scattered about than she had seen in the whole of her life.

  “Gona play?” When he looked up at her solemnly she replied, “Yes, yes, I’ll play. What do you want to play?”

  “Engines.” He proceeded now to drag from a box an engine, coaches and wagons and pieces of rail, which he arranged with surprising dexterity in a circle on the oilcloth. She found that all she was required to do was to sit and watch him.

  They were like this when Ben Tollett first saw them. He stood in the doorway and they weren’t aware of his presence for some seconds.

  When Mary did become aware of him she jumped to her feet, saying, “He wanted to play.”

  “Yes, yes.” He nodded at her.

  “He always wants to play. But tell me, what happened to your mother?”

  “I don’t really know.” She was standing picking one nail with another as she spoke, conscious all the while of the thing that was between him and her mother, and yet wasn’t, because he would have none of it.

  “They’ve sent for the doctor, they think her leg’s broken. We ... we were at me grannie’s, me da and me, and Jimmy came for us. That’s... that’s all I know.”

  Dear, dear! “ He shook his head. Well now, we’re in a fix, aren’t we?”

  He smiled, then asked her, T)o you think you can put him to bed later?

  I’ll close early. They’ll have to put up with it. And then I’ll have to think of what I’m going to do, won’t I? “

  “Oh, I can see to him.” She nodded her head, then looked down at the child, who now took his hand and swiped the whole arrangement of engines and trucks to the far corner of the room.

  Ben put his hand to his brow and, smiling grimly, said, “He needs putting up with.”

  “He’ll be all right. What time does he go to bed?”

  “Seven, if he will.”

  “Can ... can you tell me what you have for your supper?”

  “Oh anything. It doesn’t matter about that, I can have

  something cold from down below. “ He jerked his head backwards. Don’t you bother, just make yourself comfortable and look after him. I’ll be grateful for that.” He nodded, then ended, “All right?”

  “All right, Mr. Tollett,” she answered.

  Again he nodded while he kept his eyes on her for a moment; then smiling he turned and left the room, and on this the child made a dash from the corner, crying, “Dada! Dada!” But Mary caught him by the hand, saying.

  “Come on now. Let’s clear this lot up, eh? And put them all away, and then we’ll look at your picture books.”

  The two-year-old looked at her. He had never been told before to clear anything up Alice cleared up after him and to show he was having none of it he took his foot and kicked her on the shin. Her instant reaction was the same as if Jimmy had kicked her; her hand went out and she slapped him. There was a short silence in the room because they both had received a shock; the child couldn’t remember ever being slapped, and Mary felt she had done something terrible, not five minutes with the hairn and she had slapped him. But when he began to howl loudly she didn’t pick him. up, she just said, “Come on now, be a good lad. We’ll clear up together.” And to her surprise he did as she bade him. But the clearing-up done, he sat on the floor, looked up at her and stated firmly, “I don’t like you,” and as if she were a child again, fighting with a playmate, she poked her face down to him and said, “It’s mutual. I don’t like you either!” Again there was a short silence; but now it was broken by her laughter. She sat down in a low chair and began to laugh, and she became concerned when she found she couldn’t stop. She put her hand over her mouth and when the child came and stood by her side and put his hands on her knees and laughed with her, she found to her great consternation that she was laughing no longer but crying and gasping inside herself with each sob, “Eeh! me ma. Me ma. You’d think she’d done it on purpose.”

  It was ten o’clock that night and they were still arguing, at least Alice was keeping on. She might be in pain, but it wasn’t stopping her tongue, and for the countless time she repeated the same phrase, “If any of them in this street get into that house I�
��ll never get mjthem out. Don’t think they’ll give up the job when I’m better. I might be here a month, six weeks. You heard what the doctor said, me ankle’s completely broken. I’ve got to stay put, an’ who’s going to keep us I ask you. By the time they get round to getting’ you off the gap and on to the dole again we could starve to death. And that boy, he’s got to be kept on at High School. That’s the main thing. And he’s got to be decently dressed, he’s not going to end up the same way as you have.”

  She glared at Alee.

  “He’s going to have a start in life, and to have a start he needs his School Certificate, and if it’s the last thing I do he’s going to get it.

  “Crofton’s! What do you think you’ll get there?” This was to Mary who was sitting sullenly with her back to the wall facing the bed.

  “Ten shillings a week at most, and then your bus fare to Tyne Dock, and another from there to the Market Place; you won’t be able to do it under eight pence a day. Girl, you’re mad. But you’re not half as mad as him. He’s put you up to this; I knew there was something’ afoot.”

  She nodded grimly at Alee.

  “Well now, you can both forget about it until I’m on me feet again, when you can continue your high ideas. But in the meantime, you, me lady, will get yourself out of bed in the morning for a change and get down to the shop by seven, and get them their breakfast, and see to the hairn. You can tell Mrs. Turner you’ve got to finish at twelve; that’ll give you time to get back and get them something to eat for one o’clock. You can arrange the meal the day afore, you’ll have all afternoon and evening, I’ll tell you what to do.”

  Alee hadn’t interrupted Alice’s flow, but now he turned from the darkened window, walked to the foot of the bed and, looking over the mound they had made out of a fire

  guard to keep the clothes off her injured ankle, he said thickly, “She’s not a bloody dray horse.”

  “I’m not expecting her to be a dray horse. But she’s had it too easy up till now, and this isn’t for ever. I’m only asking her to do it until I get on me feet again.”

  “Mrs. Weir would do it, she proffered.” His voice was quiet, dead-sounding.

  “Mrs. Weir! Huh! She’s just another of the bitches around here who are waiting to jump into me shoes. They’re as jealous as hell of me working down there because they know that we eat better than any of them, have more than any of them.... Aw you! you can’t see beyond your nose.” She flung her arm in a wide sweep, and its gesture threw him away from her. He turned and went into the kitchen, and after a moment Mary followed him silently, keeping her eyes away from her mother as she passed the bed.

  In the kitchen, where Jimmy was standing, a look of apprehension on his face because he was frightened of rows, Alee looked from one to the other, and from deep in his throat he ejected his misery and bitterness: “It should have been her bloody neck,” he said; ‘that’s what it should have been, her bloody neck. “

  Chapter Four

  the routine worked. After a few days the sullen look left Mary’s face, and at the end of a seven-day week she brought home the pound Mr.

  Tollett had given her and also her reduced wage of six shillings from Mrs. Turner, which she placed on the bedcover and said to her mother, “There! twenty-six shillings.”

  4 49

  As Alice’s hand went out to take the money Mary quickly picked up the six shillings and, looking straight into her mother’s eyes, said, “I want more than a shilling pocket money.”

  ‘what! “

  ‘you heard what I said, Ma, I want more than a shilling pocket money.

  I . I want to buy some clothes; I want five shillings a week. As long as I’m doing two jobs I want fi. “You’ll-get-my-hand-across!”

  “Ma!” Mary backed a step from the bed.

  “You’re in no position to bargain, Ma. I’ve told you, I want five shillings every week, an’ if I don’t get it I’m not going back there. You can’t make me you know.”

  She poked her face towards her mother, who she thought for a moment was going to collapse.

  “You’re not getting’ five shillings, an’ that’s that “ No, I’m takin’ it, Ma. There you are. “ She thew a shilling on to the bedcover.

  “I’m going to take it every week, say what you like. I haven’t any stockings, and me shoes are nearly through. You see to Jimmy’s things but you never do mine. I’ve never had a new thing that I can ever remember;

  it’s been Mrs. Turner’s, or afore that the market stall on a Saturday morning I’m going to get something new, Ma. “

  ‘get our! “

  Mary went out and into the kitchen, and there she looked mischievously at her da and whispered, “I did it.”

  “And you got off with it?”

  “I got off with it.”

  They both smiled at each other. Then taking a half-crown from her pocket, she pressed it into his hand. But he pushed it back at her, whispering, “No, no!”

  “Aye, yes; fifty-fifty.”

  Aw, lass! “

  He put his hand out and touched her hair. Then he turned and looked at

  Jimmy where he was sitting by the table staring at them, and Mary, too, looked at Jimmy, and she thrust her hand into the pocket again and handed him a sixpence. But he didn’t take it, not right away; he looked from her hand up to her face then said, “For me?”

  “Aye, who else? It’s not for coffee-Johnny, or Tommy-on the-bridge, ‘cos they haven’t done nowt for me.” Whereupon Jimmy put his head down and his hand tight across his mouth to smother his laughter. But he was unable to restrain it, and as she pushed the sixpence into his hand there came a querulous shout from the bedroom.

  “You, Jimmy! Do you hear me there? You, Jimmy!”

  When they were left alone Alee whispered, “You’ll have nowt left, lass.”

  “Don’t you worry. Da.” She slanted her eyes up to him.

  “I’m on to a good thing here; it’s a gold mine, or a silver one. Look.”

  She pulled from her pocket another half-crown.

  “Mr. Tollett gave it to me for myself. He emphasized that. He said, “ Now that’s for yourself. “ Alee smiled at her as he said, “ Well, that was kind of him. “

  As she looked back into his face the mischievous smile left her own and she said, “He is kind, Da, he’s a nice man.”

  They stared at each other and then he nodded slowly.

  “Aye, Ben’s all right,” then he asked, “Do you like it there?”

  “Yes, Da. Aw yes. It’s lovely; it isn’t like work at all. The way the place’s set out it’s grand. Have you seen it?”

  “No, no, I haven’t seen it, lass. What’s it like? Tell us.”

  So she proceeded to tell him, and he gazed at her not taking in all she was saying but thinking, It’ll be God’s pity if she takes up with housework for good; she’s worth something better, oh aye, something better than that.

  It became the regular procedure that Alice would instruct Mary what she was to cook for Ben and how she was to cook it, and Mary would listen dutifully and say, “Yes, Ma. Yes, Ma,” knowing that at half past twelve she would hurry panting through the backyard and up the stairs, to warm up, or

  5l finish, the dinner she had prepared yesterday, a dinner of her own concocting.

  She would talk to the child. Joke with him, make him laugh. She had given new names to all his toys. His cloth doll she called Ching Lang Lou. What did it matter that it was a negro with black wool curls, they had great fun with Ching Lang Lou. Then, the meal ready and set in the dining-room, not the kitchen, she would call Ben up, while she herself would take his place in the shop.

  One day he had said to her, “It’s a pity we can’t sit down together, Mary,” and she had answered, “Oh, that’s all right, Mr. Tollett,” then added, “I eat more when I’m on me own’ ;

  and at this they had laughed loudly as if at a great joke, and shaking his head while he gazed at her, he had said, “Aw Mary, Mary.”

 
; She got on well with Mr. Tollett. But it was odd how little they saw of each other; they were just like that saying, ships that pass in the night. He was already in the shop when she arrived in the morning, and they spoke to each other for only a few moments when she took his place so that he could have his meals. Very often when she took down his three o’clock cup of tea she just left it in the storeroom and tapped on the door, and he would call to her, “Thanks. Thanks, Mary.”

  The only time she ate with him was on a Wednesday when he had his half day.

  One night, as she was leaving, she did say to him, You’re busy enough to have an assistant,” to which he replied, I did have one, but he assisted himself, Mary, a little too much.”

  “Aw, like that was it?”

  Tes, it was like that. “

  ‘you can never trust people. “

  “Yes, that’s a fact, you can never trust people, Mary.”

  She had every opportunity of helping herself from the well-stocked cupboard upstairs, and a half-dozen spoonfuls of tea wouldn’t have been missed from the caddy each day, but she wouldn’t do that, not to Mr. Tollett. Why, the basket of groceries he had given her ma every Friday

  night and which he still continued to give her couldn’t be bought for fifteen shillings! No, she wouldn’t take a grain of salt belonging to Mr.

  Tollett.

  She was happy as she had never been happy before, because she now had things to give, money to give to her da and their Jimmy, the price of an ounce of baccy to her gran da and a quarter of bullets for her grandma. But she didn’t pay for the bullets because, when she offered Mr. Tollett the money for them, he wouldn’t take it, even though she said to him, “They’re not for me, so if you don’t take it then I’ll have to go some place else next week to buy them.”

  “Who are they for then?” he had asked.

  “Your mother?”