Pure as the Lily

by Catherine Cookson

  Yes, it’s all right with me. Da. “ Mary said softly.

  “Oh, I’d like to get me spade into the earth again. Oh, I’d like that.” He jerked his head at Jimmy, and Jimmy said, “Well, I’ll give you plenty of what you like. Da. You can rely on me, I’ll give you plenty of what you like.” And they were all laughing as they sat down at the table.

  Chapter Ten

  alice sat to the side of the window looking through the thick Nottingham lace curtains into the street. Across the road Peggy Hurst was washing her window sill. Not before time, she thought and even now she was only giving it a lick and a promise. Dirty cat, that Peggy Hurst. And there was that Mrs. Keely with her two hairns; likely off to Shields Market to spend her money on trash. She never could keep the baims nice, and her man had been in good work for years. These women! men slaving for them, working from Monday morning till Saturday night for them, and half the women no better than they should be, while here she was having to fend for herself, neither man, chick nor child to speak a word to her or give her a penny. Badness and sin paid off. They talked about God being good, had He ever been good to her?

  What was before her? Work, and more work, five days a week until she died. She was only forty-six, she was no age. But she felt old; and no wonder, she’d had enough in her life to make anybody old. Oh God, if only she could get her own back on them . just once . just once.

  That’s all she asked.

  She rose from the chair and began to pace the room. They were all together now, her husband, her daughter, and her son, not forgetting his fancy piece, all together like a pack of thieves. They said Jimmy and that daft piece were never away from her shop. Why hadn’t a bomb fallen on her and the shop? Decent, hard-working. God-fearing people had to be taken while others, like her, were left. She was her own flesh and blood, but God! how she hated her. All the ills in her life, all that had happened to her stemmed from their Mary.

  She stopped in her pacing. And where was Betty? She was hardly in these days either. She had some fellow in the offing; she could smell a rat before it was stinking.

  The door opened at this and Betty came in and dropped the basket of groceries on the table.

  “Where’ve you been? You’ve taken your time, haven’t you?”

  “Oh for God’s sake! Mam, you haven’t got a stop watch on me, have you?”

  “Well! well! There’s no need for that.”

  Oh my God! “

  Alice turned from Betty and, putting her hand to her head, held it as she said now, “Don’t you start. Now don’t you start, Betty, because that’ll be the last straw.”

  “Well, you will keep on. You’re getting on my nerves, you keep on and on.”

  Alice subsided slowly into a chair. Her face was grim, her lips tight and trembling.

  Betty now tossed her head from side to side, tore off her coat and hat, went into the bedroom, then coming out again, said, You’re not the only one who’s going through the mill. What do you think I’ve just heard? “

  Alice’s head came round sharply, her lips slightly open now, the eyes wide in inquiry.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Your Mary’s given them the cottage.”

  “She’s what!”

  “Just what I said, she’s given them the cottage. Moat Cottage, you know the one, you’ve talked about it enough.”

  Alice was out of her chair, standing straight, rigid.

  “Moat Cottage?

  Our Mary’s given them Moat Cottage? “

  “That’s what I said. I met Phyllis Bradley and she told me. Apparently your Mary’s owned the cottage for a long time, or her man did. But Master Jimmy’s been doing it up and ... your daughter’—now Betty’s small head was bouncing on her shoulders ‘your daughter’s given it to them, lock, stock and barrel, deeds. What do you think about that?

  Phyllis Bradley’s girl plays with the McArthur’s child, she got it through her. “

  “Moat Cottage!” Alice’s eyes were wide, her jaw was sagging She was looking at Betty, yet through her and beyond her, and she said again, “Moat Cottage!”

  Moat Cottage had been her Shangri-la. She had come from the Church Bank, through Hope Street, into Cornice Street;

  they were just stops on the way towards Moat Cottage. She could hear herself saying to Alee, “It’s to be let at twelve and six a week,” and him replying, “Double what we pay here. You barmy, woman?” And now their Mary had given it to their Jimmy, and he was taking that woman there, that big fat, slobbery bitch of a woman. No! No! not to Moat Cottage

  “Our Mary... * ^hat?”

  “Our Mary, she’s done this on purpose. She knew, she knew I always wanted that place. Why, I nearly went to live there. She’s done it on purpose, you see.” She was standing over Betty, gripping her arms, and Betty, shrugging heroS cried, “Stop it, Mam, you’re hurtin’ me.” Then she said, “You were going to live there?”

  Ves, years ago I was, but he was frightened of the rent. Alee, he was frightened of the rent. But she knew, our Mary, she knew what I thought about that place. I used to take them when they were baims, her and Jimmy, and show it to them. It had a long garden back and front. Right out in the country it was then, with open fields all about, and the sky. “ She lifted her hand and waved it back and forward, and Betty said sharply, “ Mam! Mam! “ and as if Alice had been recalled from a distant time, a distant place, she stared at Betty and asked, “ Are they in yet? “

  No, they’re moving in on Monday, so I understand. The McArthur’s girl said they are going in on Monday and are going to have a sort of party. By the way’—Betty turned her back on Alice and her voice shook as she said, ‘there’s a further bit of news, the baim came over two weeks ago;

  you’re a grannie again, once removed . it’s a boy. “

  “My God!”

  They both sat down now, and there was quiet in the room for some minutes before it was broken by Alice saying, “Moat Cottage! Moat Cottage!”

  “Is that all you can say. Moat Cottage?” Betty was screaming now, and she jumped to her feet and ran into the kitchen, but Alice still sat, and she still repeated, “Moat Cottage! Moat Cottage!”

  Chapter Eleven

  ‘mam! Mam! “

  “What? What is it?” Mary came out of layers of sleep.

  “What do you want, child?”

  “Listen, Ma; there’s somebody knocking at the shop door downstairs.

  Listen. “

  Mary raised herself up and listened. Then getting out of bed and pulling on her dressing-gown, she ran into the sitting-room, switched on the light, then went to the window and, opening it, looked down into the dark street.

  “Who is it?”

  A light flashed up into her face.

  “Mrs. Tollett?”

  “Yes, that’s me.”

  “Can you come down a minute, it’s the police.”

  Police. Even the word could make her stomach turn over.

  “Just a minute.” She shut the window and looked at Annie for a moment in amazement, saying, “Polis.” Her eyes lifted to the clock on the mantelpiece. Quarter past three in the morning. In the hall she pulled a coat over her dressing—gown and said to Annie, ‘you stay put, and don’t wake your gran da or Cousin Annie. “

  But Alee was already at his bedroom door, asking, What is it? What’s up? Is she bad? “ He was looking at Annie.

  Mary said, “No, no. There’s somebody knocking at the shop door. Now stay where you are until I find out what it’s about.” Her ma, she thought; something had happened to her ma. She didn’t add, at last.

  But her thoughts went on, they’d come for her da, naturally.

  As she unbarred the shop door, the policeman said, “I’ll come in a minute if you don’t mind.” There were two of them. They walked past her, then turned and faced her where she stood with her back to the door.

  “It’s ... it’s about your brother, Mrs. Tollett.”

  “Jim ... Jimmy?”

  “
Yes, Jimmy, and, and his wife. There’s been an accident ... a fire.”

  “A what! A fire? The cottage?”

  Yes, yes, I’m afraid so. “

  *. They’re. they’re not hurt? “

  The policeman opened his mouth, then moved his head downwards.

  “Aw no. Oh dear God, no!” She was rocking herself while she held her face now.

  “They’re not...?”

  “Your brother’s all right, that is he’s badly burnt, but he’s alive.

  But I’m afraid, Mrs. Tollett, his wife’s dead. “

  Lally? His wife? I mean Lally? Lally? . No! “ The policeman stared at her, and she pushed past him and walked to the counter and pressed her back to it, tight against the edge, and she flapped her hand at them, saying, “ No, no, no! He’ll go mad. Lally. Lally wouldn’t hurt a fly. What is it? What happened? “

  “As far as we can gather,” said the policeman softly, ‘the fire had caught well alight by the time your brother awoke. They were overcome by the fumes. He . he opened the window and tried to get her out that way, but couldn’t, and then . well, by what I can gather he dragged her down the stairs, the place was blazing. She must have been nearly

  dead before he got her outside. And it’s a cold night, extremes you know. He tried to revive her. Some people in a car passing along the main road saw the flames and when they got to him they couldn’t do anything. Well, it was natural, he was like someone demented. By the time the Fire Brigade arrived there was nothing much left of the cottage. “

  She felt herself going down into the darkness, then her da was saying, “Lass! lass! drink this.”

  She opened her eyes. The policemen were still there. She didn’t remember them bringing her upstairs. She looked at her father. The tears were running down his face, and Annie was crying and whimpering, “Oh! Uncle Jimmy. Oh! Uncle Jimmy. And me Aunt Lally.” It hadn’t taken Annie long to adopt Lally as an aunt.

  Cousin Annie came hobbling out of the kitchen with a tray. She had been making the inevitable cup that cheers. She, too, was crying.

  “Where are they?” Mary’s voice was level.

  “In the Frederick Road Infirmary, Shields. We’ve got the car outside, we could run you down.”

  “Yes, yes.”

  They helped her to her feet.

  “I’ll get me things on,” she said.

  “Have this cup of tea, lass,” said Cousin Annie.

  “I don’t want any tea.” She walked past them into the room, and as she got into her clothes she thought, What’s wrong with us? There a blight on us. He’ll go mad. I hope he dies an’ all; he wouldn’t want to live without her, she was like a stay to him, a great, warm, comforting stay.

  For days Jimmy lay in a daze of pain, mental and physical. He prayed to die. If they had left any means near him he would have seen to it that he had died. They stuck needles in his arms to quieten him, but it didn’t obliterate the pain in his mind. He had killed Lally, burnt her alive.

  For the thousandth time he was back in the room. He had put the gramophone on and he had said to her, “It’s lucky we have the gramophone. And we’ll get a battery wireless; I 15 225

  don’t want electricity, nor gas, I like the lamp-light, don’t you? “

  “It’s lovely, Jimmy, lovely,” she had said.

  “And you’re lovely.” He had pulled her up out of the chair and waltzed her round the uneven floor, and she had cried, You’re tiddly. “

  “And so are you,” he had answered; Sve’re both tiddly. Come on, let’s get more tiddly, let’s finish this. It’s a celebration, it’s a house-warming. We would have had it on Monday anyway. “ And as he poured the glasses of whisky out he said, The last time I felt like this I led the Salvation Army around Shields Market, remember?”

  They had fallen on each other’s neck and laughed as she said, “Eeh!

  you’re a lad. Jimmy. “

  “And you’re a lass, Lally. You’re a strapping, North—Country lass, and I love you ... love you ... love you.” With each love he had hugged her tightly to him, and she had gasped and laughed loudly and said, “Jimmy, it seems too good to be true, it’s like heaven.”

  After that they had sat down on the mat in front of the roaring fire and, as she had leant against him and looking at the sparks flying up the chimney, she had said, “I never want to die That is what she had said, *I never want to die.” And then they had gone upstairs, and she had died. And it was his fault because he had banked up the fire with wood. She had warned him not to.

  “Eeh!” she had said, ‘don’t put any more on. “ But he had laughed at her, saying, “ This old chimney will stand it. It’s brick all the way up, there’s no timber going across it. And it’ll soon die down, and the room will be warm in the morning when we get up. “

  When he had next looked down into the room over the banister it was like looking into a blast furnace. He had dragged her heavy body from the bed and tried to push it out of the window, but the window was too small, and only one side of it opened anyway. Then he had carried her to the stairs. But when he was only halfway down he had lifted his

  hands from the burning banister and had fallen, and then he had dragged her through the heap of burning furniture. Most of the bedroom pieces had been left downstairs because the men couldn’t get them up the narrow stairs, they’d had a job to get the bed up. They’d had to take the box spring to bits, and he had said he would manage the furniture himself, he could unscrew it and put it together again. And there it was like a mighty bonfire, and when he’d got the door open there was more of it. The pile of wood outside was ablaze and lying across the door. He hadn’t wondered how it got there, he just knew he dragged her over it. And then he was holding her, rocking her, yelling. He could hear himself yelling, “Lally! Lally! Lally! God Almighty, Lally ...!”

  On the evening of the third day, when he came round Mary was sitting by the bed. She said, “Hello, lad,” and he just stared at her. He couldn’t move his hands or arms because of the bandages, and they had bandaged his head. He remembered his hair catching afire and it being wafted into a blaze when he went outside, and he had bashed at it with one hand while still hanging on to Lally< You feeling better? “

  For answer he said, “My fault, Mary.”

  “No, no, Jimmy.”

  Ves. “

  “No, no. What makes you think that?”

  “The fire, I... I heaped it up. I... I got tight’—he closed his eyes, then said, “ I got tight, Mary. Things always happen when I get tight. “

  “Ssh! Ssh!” she said. Don’t talk, go to sleep. But it wasn’t your fault, it was nobody’s fault. “

  The next time he was aware of her sitting by the bed was two days later. His mind was clearer now.

  She said, “Are you feeling easier?” and he answered, “Yes.” Then he looked at her and said, “Couldn’t last, Mary; it was too good to last, too wonderful.”

  She gulped in her throat but couldn’t speak.

  “I wasn’t worthy of her and ... and I should have known

  something like that would happen because . because I saw me mother, in the afternoon I saw me mother. She was coming out of Brooker’s Lane, not far from the cottage. She didn’t see me, I kept out of her way, but I remember wishing I hadn’t seen her. I should have known, shouldn’t I? She put a curse on me. “

  The quiet. Be quiet. Don’t say such things. “ But even as she said this her mind was working rapidly. Her mother along Brooker’s Lane?

  Brooker’s Lane joined the rough road on which the cottage stood. What was her mother doing round Brooker’s Lane?

  It was three days later when she knew what her mother had been doing round Brooker’s Lane. The insurance man called, together with the local insurance inspector and another man, who had come down from Newcastle and whose particular work was to deal with fire claims, and what he said to her was, “I’m sorry Mrs. Tollett, but we have to go into the matter of your claim; there’s more in it than meets t
he eye.

  Now we’re not exactly sure of this but there will be more investigating to do. But as it stands now there is a theory that the fire did not start in the chimney inside but was started from the pile of wood outside with an application of paraffin. “

  She stared at the three men. Then she poked her head towards them and said, “With an application of paraffin?”

  Tes, Mrs. Tollett; that’s what they suspect Do you know anyone who would have reason to set the place on fire? “

  She did not shake her head or answer, she just continued to stare at them.

  Her insurance man now said, You did tell me, Mrs. Tollett, that their original plan was to go in on the Monday. Whoever set the place afire, if someone did that is’—he now looked at his two superiors ‘it’s very likely they didn’t know that anyone was inside. “

  Somebody set the place on fire with paraffin from the outside, and Jimmy had said, “I saw me mother coming out of Brooker’s Lane. She didn’t see me.” Do you know anyone

  who would have reason to set the place on fire? “ the man had asked.

  Oh no. No! she couldn’t have done that. But she could, she was capable of anything, her ma; disfiguring or burning alive, her ma was capable of anything.

  “Don’t distress yourself, Mrs. Tollett’—the Inspector was speaking —’your claim will be met. There’s no doubt about that, but there’ll be an investigation.”

  Courteously they left. They left her sitting staring in front of her, churning up such a rage that she knew that if she didn’t take hold of herself she would give vent to it in screaming.

  Annie came into the room, saying, “Mam, can I go and play with Bella?”

  and she said to her, “Yes.”