by Mikki Sadil
I wanted to ask them right then what was wrong, and why they were leaving me out of everything. But I didn’t. I told myself I didn’t care what they did, so I shrugged and the three of them left. A tear tickled as it tiptoed down my cheek. I will not cry. But the tear became a trickle and then a flood.
On the kitchen table I found two twenty-dollar bills and a note from Mom saying I should go downtown and buy my practice clothes. Great, Mom couldn’t even do that for me on her way home from work. I found a tissue and blew my nose. I thought I should go get them now, until I realized this was Friday, the next tryouts were on Monday and I hadn’t seen Lisa and Amberley since we practiced on Wednesday.
Of course, that day hadn’t gone well, either. Lisa came by herself, and the first thing out of her mouth was, “So, AJ, why do we have to practice at your house? Is not my house good enough?”
I should have bitten my tongue but I didn’t. “Lisa, why do you talk in such perfect English? Can’t you talk like a normal kid?”
She peered down her nose at me. I was beginning to think Lisa was a female giraffe in girl form. I sure got tired of looking up at her.
“When I was in Europe, I learned to speak classic Italian. They do not use contractions, and so now it is difficult for me to re-acquaint myself with American jargon. You did not answer my question.”
‘Re-acquaint herself,’? ‘American jargon,’? Oh, I’m so impressed. Not.
“Sometimes you’re really hard to understand, Lisa. You oughta lighten up and get back to talking like everybody else. We don’t always have to practice here, but unless you have a trampoline, this is the best place to do it. Do…”
I was interrupted by Amberley, who hurried around the corner of the house. She was out of breath, so while she rested for a minute, I went in the kitchen and got some sodas. When I came out, we started our practice, but Amberley was clumsy and Lisa was peeved about my criticizing the way she talked, so we didn’t accomplish much that day.
That was Wednesday, and since we didn’t have any classes together, it was easy to forget about them when I was more concerned about how to get Celine out of my life. But now it was Friday, and I knew if we were going to be partners, we had to practice a lot over the weekend.
The history project was due next week, but Julie and Jaime didn’t care. Celine was more important now. Well, if I had to choose between it and cheerleading, history was going to lose. I raced to the phone and dialed Amberley’s house.
“Amberley, hi, it’s AJ. Look, our next cheerleading tryout is Monday, so we need to practice today and over the weekend. Can you and Lisa come over here, like, right now?”
Clunk! Great, she must have dropped the phone. A second later, a rather subdued voice said, “Uh, sure, AJ. We wondered when we were going to practice with you again. I’ll call Lisa and we’ll come over.”
I laid out the practice mats in the garage and paced until they showed up. When they did, Lisa handed me a diagram.
“These are the moves we have been practicing. We thought we had better know what we were doing, since you did not seem to be interested.”
Aaghh! She didn’t have to be so snotty about it. “Okay,” I said, as pleasantly as possible. “Let’s get started.” Amberley didn’t fall a single time and Lisa kept her legs together. All right! We were all doing much better than at the tryouts, and certainly better than on Wednesday. I felt like pumping my fist in the air and shouting, but decided that maybe they wouldn’t get it, so I just smiled. Since I was the flyer, I was really nervous about doing a high pyramid, because I had to do a somersault and land on one foot on their hands. I had no idea if they could hold me or if, at the last minute, Amberley would somehow stumble over her own feet and drop me.
“Okay, the next move is mine. Lisa, are you and Amberley sure you can hold me when I land?”
Lisa gave me that look down her nose again. “Of course we can hold you. Just because you have always worked with Jaime and Julie does not mean that we do not know how to do the same things they do. Just do it, and we will be fine.”
Oh, for craps’ sake. Lisa’s perfect speech was double D annoying. But I wasn’t going to say anything, and risk getting another lecture about her European experience and learning classic Italian. Right now, I had enough to worry about. I was putting my entire cheerleading career, to say nothing of my life, in the hands of a couple of klutzes. I sighed, mentally asked God to please protect me, and went for it.
Amberley went to the right, Lisa to the left, I went to the middle and we tumbled back to the center. Without hesitation, they caught me and pitched me into the air. I executed a perfect somersault and landed on one foot, arms outstretched and my other leg bent gracefully (I thought) beneath me. Perfect. Now, if we could only do this at the next tryout. Before they could set me down, I felt a hand wobble and glanced down to see Amberley’s worried face staring up at me. Oh great, she’s going to drop me after all. I broke the pose and jumped to the ground.
“I’m sorry, AJ, I guess I’m not as strong as I thought. You were getting heavy and it was hard for me to stay still.” She gave me that same little embarrassed smile.
“It’s okay. But since I’m the flyer, you need to work on your strength if you’re going to hold me. Do you have weights at home?”
“Why are you the flyer? I do not weigh much more than you do, I am sure.” Lisa’s voice was shrill and whiney again.
Aaghh! “Look, Lisa, you’re way too tall to be a flyer, and Amberley is too heavy. It has to be me. Besides, I’ve always been the flyer, too late to change now.” I glanced over at Amberley. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings with my remark about her being too heavy, but she was a little chunky, and it would be hard to hold her.
Amberley’s voice was soft. “I’m sorry, AJ. I don’t have any weights. I don’t know how to work on my strength. Maybe… maybe I should just drop out. You two can find another partner.”
“You cannot just ‘drop out,’ Amberley! Where are we supposed to find another partner now? Coach already has everyone paired up, and there are no ‘extra’ girls sitting around waiting for someone to drop out.” Lisa was ticked off.
But I was as happy as Lisa wasn’t. If I got rid of Amberley, probably Lisa would drop out, and then I would be able to get with Julie and Jaime. Oh, wait. Celine was their partner, and they sure weren’t acting like they wanted me instead of her.
Amberley persisted. “I think I had better go. AJ doesn’t really want me to be a partner, anyway, do you, AJ?”
“So you are just going to walk off and leave AJ and me stranded? What kind of friend are you, anyway? You are certainly not a team mate.” Lisa’s face was turning pink, the first time I’d ever seen color in her skin.
Amberley stood with her shoulders hunched up. Her dark hair fell over her face, and I couldn’t see her eyes, but her voice trembled.. “You didn’t answer my question, AJ. You don’t really want me for a partner, do you?”
I twisted a red curl that had frizzed out of my pony tail. “Well, it’s not that I don’t want you to be a partner. It’s just…well, you have to have strong arms and hands. If you don’t, you could drop me. Or anyone who’s a flyer.”
She looked at me without speaking. She shrugged, turned around, and shuffled out of the garage. As she passed me, I caught a glint of tears behind those awful glasses. My stomach twisted, and I had that yucky fish-out-of-water feeling again.
Before I could say anything, Lisa said in a voice that would freeze ice cubes, “Well, I hope you are happy. Since you seem to have all the answers, I suggest you find another partner for us. Immediately.” She stalked out of the garage, stiff as a starched shirt.
As I rolled up the mats and put them away, I caught sight of my hand weights tucked into a corner. You don’t use those anymore, said that pesky little voice. I shook my head to shut it up, but the next thing I knew, I was calling Amberley. When she answered, I said, “Look, Amberley, I’m sorry about today. I guess I was really being snarky. I have some
hand weights I don’t use any longer. Why don’t you come on back, and I’ll show you some exercises that will help with your strength.”
For a minute there was silence and then her soft voice again. “Well, if you’re sure, AJ. I don’t want to be the one to mess things up for you. I know how much you want to be senior captain.”
Ha! Like that was going to happen with her and Lisa as partners.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Just come on over, okay?” I hung up, trying to ignore both my stomach and that little voice.
I gave Amberley the weights and taught her some exercises. “Look, why don’t you work with them tonight. I think it’ll help. I’ll call Lisa and tell her we’re going to practice tomorrow. Come on, Amberley, you’re going to be fine.”
She looked at me and smiled. “Thanks, AJ! I love cheerleading, and I really want to work with you and Lisa. But, I do have some problems with my strength, and I don’t want to keep you from doing good.” She looked down at the weights in her hands.
Now see what you’ve done. I wanted to kick that little voice around the block…except it was right. I took the weights out of her hands, and said, “Hey, let’s go in and get a soda. I’m thirsty, how about you?”
Amberley giggled, and it surprised me. It was warm and friendly, and so was the big smile on her face. “Yeah, I’d like that!”
We went in the kitchen,, and she sat at the table while I took out some sodas and cookies.
“Hey, do you ride? Maybe we could go riding some time, after practice or something.”
She shook her head. “I’ve only been on one of Lisa’s horses a couple of times. I don’t really know much about riding, but I love horses.”
“Well, after we get our practice schedule worked out, if you want to, I’ll teach you how to ride.”
Amberley looked sad for a minute, and then she grinned. “Okay, if you don’t mind seeing my backside bumping up and down in the saddle, I’d love to!”
I snickered at the picture she painted of her riding ability, and soon we were both laughing. We talked some about horses and about cheering, but before long, she said she had to go. When I closed the kitchen door, I suddenly felt lonely, but that funny feeling in my stomach was gone.
Later that evening, I called Lisa. “Hey, Lisa. Um, Amberley is back with us. I found some old hand weights and gave them to her, so…”
“You gave her some weights? She does not know how to use them, so what good is that supposed to do?” As usual, her voice was snotty.
“Oh, come on, Lisa! I didn’t ‘just’ give them to her. She came back over and I showed her some exercises to do with them. I’m not stupid, you know.”
There was a silence. I had almost decided that Lisa had left the phone off the hook when she said, “I see. Well, that is better. I think she will do all right now. She is very conscientious about working hard. Perhaps now we can actually begin to work together.”
While her voice seemed friendlier, her words didn’t. But I wasn’t going to take the bait and argue with her. “Yeah, I hope so. Can you come over tomorrow about one o’clock for practice?”
“Yes, I will be there. I will go by and pick Amberley up. I think we are going to be a good team, AJ.”
Our practice went a lot better on Saturday and Sunday. Amberley worked with the weights and it seemed to help strengthen her hands. I said a little prayer before each flyer, and so far they hadn’t dropped me.
I was really getting to like Amberley. She was different from the other girls I knew. Not bad different, like Celine, but I remember once Mom and I were watching a Telethon for kids that were sick with cancer, and Mom said she thought the kids had “a quiet dignity” about them. Amberley had that same kind of attitude, in spite of her clumsiness and the teasing she got because of it. I was impressed.
Monday afternoon we lined up for Coach’s inspection. I still hadn’t taken the time to buy my practice clothes, but at least this time my shorts and T-shirt sort of matched. They were clean when I left for school, although as usual, I spilled some soda on my shirt at lunch time, and dropped part of my sandwich on my tennis shoes.
Coach stopped in front of me and drew his eyebrows together. “Miss Devlin, why do you not have on your practice uniform? Do you plan on being a part of this squad or not?”
I heard the other girls giggling, but Amberley edged closer and whispered, “Don’t worry, AJ, you’re better than everyone else. The right clothes don’t make a good cheerleader, so just ignore Coach.”
I tried to smile, but my face was tight with embarrassment. When I heard the J’s laughing along with Celine, I had to fight tears.
Coach called the three of us up first, and we surprised him by doing one of the best stunts of the day. Even I was amazed at how well Lisa and Amberley performed. We watched from the sidelines until everyone had completed their stunts, and then Coach said, “You have all done very well, even though some of you surprised me. I will post the names of the girls who have made the squad Friday morning. At noon Friday there will be a briefing, and I will expect all those who will be on the squad to be there. You will be dressed properly in your practice uniforms. No excuses will be accepted. If you have no uniform, your name will automatically be taken off the list, and the next runner-up will be in your place.”
Coach looked at me when he made the comment about the uniform. I had to get mine today, no matter what. He wasn’t going to have that excuse to get rid of me.
* * * *
After I got home from buying my practice clothes, I thought about the history project. I had said I was going to finish it and turn it in without Julie and Jaime’s names on it. But what I really wanted was for them to come over. I wanted them to choose me over Celine. I sighed and called Julie.
Her mom answered. “Oh, AJ, I thought you were with the girls. They’re over at Celine’s. I can give you her number if you want it.”
I thanked her politely and took the number. When the phone rang, the housekeeper answered. “This is the Carroll residence. How may I help you?” The voice was soft and different from that of the woman who had practically attacked me before. I wondered who that other woman was.
Right now, I didn’t really want to tell the housekeeper how she could help me…like packing Celine back to New York…so I asked to talk to Julie. However, it was Jaime who came to the phone.
“Hi, Jaime. Hey, are you and Julie coming over tonight to finish the project?”
“Come on, AJ, we’ve almost finished it. You have the notes for the last chapter, and you said you’d do the bibliography. Why can’t you finish it up by yourself?”
My heart somersaulted to the bottom of my stomach. They weren’t going to leave Celine’s and come to my house. I had to fight the tears in my throat in order to say, “Oh, right, I can finish it without any help from you two. You haven’t helped this whole week, so it’s okay for me to do all this work, but still give you credit? That sucks, Jaime.”
“What’s your problem, anyway? You were going to do the bibliography, and there can’t be much left to do on the article. Besides, Julie and I have done our share, so just come off it, AJ, and quit being such a snark.”
I shouldn’t have called. Jaime wasn’t just impatient, she was hostile. It was like cementing the last brick into a wall. For sure, I was no longer their best friend. Before I could say anything else, I heard, “I’ve gotta go, see you in class.” Jaime’s hang-up buzzed like a bee in my ear.
Chapter Four
The History Project
I dropped the phone with a bang and stared at it. Goosebumps popped out on my arms and a thick lump crawled into my throat. The J’s had cut me out of their lives and replaced me with Celine. I felt like crawling into a cave and bawling my eyes out. Not that it would do any good.
The door opened and Mom walked into the kitchen from work. “Hi, sorry I’m late. Will you set the table for dinner? Oh, honey, what’s wrong? Your face is as long as a donkey’s ear.”
I shook my head and started
setting the table. She stared at me for a minute before saying, “Okay. Whatever.” She turned around and went upstairs. A part of me wished she had stayed and tried to persuade me to tell her, but she didn’t do that much anymore.
The twins chattered all through dinner, and normally, this would have really ticked me off, but tonight I ignored them.
Sarah stopped twisting her Angel hair pasta long enough to ask, “AJ, is it okay for us…”
“…to use your trampoline tomorrow after school?” finished Suzanne.
I frowned. “The trampoline is off limits for you two, you know that. Why are you asking?”
“Because we might…” said Suzanne.
“…start taking gymnastics…” said Sarah.
“….and we need…” said Suzanne.
“….to get a head start,” Sarah finished with a mouth full of pasta.
Trying to keep up with who was saying what was giving me a worse headache than I already had. “Look, don’t ask me, ask Mom. I don’t care if you use it, just don’t fall off and then blame me because you don’t know what you’re doing. Excuse me, I’ve got homework to do.”
I pushed my chair back roughly, making it scrape on the floor and earning a sharp look from my mother. I ran upstairs to my room and slammed my door. I lay down on the bed and covered my face with a pillow. My whole life was suddenly falling apart. I wanted to talk to Dad but I didn’t know when he would be coming home again. Or if, said that nasty little voice in my head. And besides, he probably wouldn’t talk to me unless it was about selling Sunni.
I sighed, brushed the tears from my eyes, and went to my laptop. Okay, it was very clear I would finish the history project, but only my name would be on it. I pulled it up and realized there was more to do to finish it than I had thought. I finally got to the bibliography, printed everything out, and put it all carefully into the notebook I had bought. I looked at the other two notebooks and shook my head. I wasn’t going to make copies for the J’s, not after the way they treated me.