Mona Lisa Darkening m-4
Page 10
"Take her to Lord Gordane," the maistresse instructed crisply. "He awaits her."
The taller of the two ended up as my escort. The other bull dheu remained at his post.
"How long have you been here?" I asked the guard as we walked down the long corridor. He was silent for so long that I thought he wasn't going to answer me.
"Thirteen years," he finally said.
"Why do you stay here?"
He glanced down at me. "I am most fortunate to be within these walls. It could have been much worse."
"How? In what way?"
"I could have been eaten by the wild creatures that prowl outside these walls."
Okay, I guess that did sound much worse.
We turned down an unfamiliar corridor. I stopped. "This is not the same way I came."
"I am taking you to Lord Gordane as instructed."
"This is the wrong direction."
He frowned as if he wasn't used to the women he accompanied balking. "No, this is the correct way, leading to his private living quarters."
His private living quarters. That would have been nice to know in advance, to prepare myself for. I'd thought we were going back to the public throne room, although how public and how safe was a matter of debate. Technically, he could rape me in the throne room, in front of his men, just as easily as in the privacy of his bedroom.
I was suddenly, abruptly aware of how vulnerable I felt without any undergarments on, my pubes shaved, not even hair to cover me. It unsettled me suddenly in a way that I had been trying to ignore up to now.
Should I run? Try to make a break for it?
To where? Mona Louisa asked scornfully. Here is much better than out there. We have food, water, luxurious accommodations, and freedom from the blemishes that will eventually coat our skin if we leave this place.
My body won't be a hostage just for the sake of your vanity, I said. We can search for a way out of this realm. Try to return back home.
Our home now is here was her pragmatic reply. I caught the rest of her wispy thought. That at least here there were those she took comfort in, those who cared for her — Miles and the other three.
And for that, for them, you would willingly sleep with Gordane? I asked.
I would sleep with him for just one of those many things he offers.
You may be willing, I told her, but I sure as hell am not.
Oh, for the Blessed Moon, Mona Louisa hissed with exasperation. If you are so squeamish about it, I'll sleep with him!
You'll still be using my body, I retorted.
My muscles tensed. I was recovered enough to take on the guard. I had a feeling I'd stand a much poorer chance against Gordane. I made my choice. To fight. To flee. But my body wasn't cooperating. It froze, my arms and legs locking into place, unmoving.
"Keep walking," ordered the guard, making a hysterical giggle well up inside me as panic mounted. Because even if I wanted to move, I suddenly couldn't. What in the world was happening to me? Is that you? Are you sabotaging my body?
I'm saving it, Mona Louisa replied. And it's my body, too, now.
Like hell it is. I fought against her will. And found it impossible to break that frozen state she had immobilized me into.
Yes, she thought with grim satisfaction. My presence, my strength, is as strong as yours here in this realm.
"Move along," the bull dheu commanded.
"Give me a moment," I snapped.
You are fortunate to have garnered Gordane's interest, said Mona Louisa. I will not let you ruin things for us now.
I can do the same thing to our body, I told her. Keep us locked like this in a battle of wills, indefinitely if I need to. That alone would ruin things quite nicely, don't you think?
She snarled. If you truly desire to seek a way out of this miserable realm, then our best chance lies with Gordane. He alone may be able to provide answers others cannot give. He is gargoyle. Has existed longer than they. And he has wings, you imbecile. Flying is much faster than walking. And much safer, if you wish to risk our neck outside of these walls.
Unfortunately, what she said was true. He might have answers others could not provide. Whether he would give them to me was another entirely different matter. But there was only one way to tell.
All right. VU go to him.
At my grudging concession, my limbs unlocked and I stumbled into abrupt motion. Frowning, the guard hurried to catch up to me. In far too short an amount of time, we arrived in front of another set of doors similar to those of the hareem, only far more grand. The door frames were ornately gilded, and the dark red wood was elaborately carved with winged creatures, gargoyles — adults at work, children at play, some tumbling in the air, others frolicking on the ground.
My escort nodded to the two guards stationed in front of the thick doors, and one of them knocked.
"Enter," called a deep voice from within.
They swung open the doors and I was pushed through. The doors closed behind me and I was left standing alone in the room, if room was the correct word for it, so large and vast it was. The ceiling above me was domed, made entirely of colored glass. On the glass, I saw with wonder, was skillfully etched yet another picture, this one of a beautiful city set atop a vast mountaintop, with winged gargoyles flying to and from it. I had only a moment to glimpse it before a sound, a movement, pulled my eyes back down to what had to be the artist of both pictures, rendered with such love and detail. Only Gordane could have done them.
I tried to imagine that large gargoyle hand, the same meaty fist that had wrapped around my neck with brutally careless strength, delicately etching out these images.
"You drew these pictures. The one etched on the glass, and the one outside, carved on the door."
He stood on the balcony, his powerful gargoyle body framed in an open archway. "Yes," he said, stepping inside. "What you saw on the ceiling was my home, Mont Felleur."
"It looks like a beautiful place," I said as he made his way to me with an unhurried, deliberate stride. I was acutely conscious once more of his enormous size. It was hard not to back away from his approach. He stopped three feet away from me — which would have been more reassuring had his arm span not been that exact length.
"Why did you leave your home?" I asked, softer now with him standing so close.
"Because I was young, foolish, and arrogant, and thought that there was a much more exciting world to explore beyond our isolated mountaintop."
"You want to go back."
Some unnamed emotion moved through his eyes. "I can never go back. This city-state is my home now. Has been for a very long time." His hand lifted and I felt his fingers graze over my sensitive skin, over the marks he had left on my neck. They slid lower. Touched the silver necklace. It lay quiescent. No flash of light or heat.
"Fascinating piece of work," Gordane said quietly. "It reacts against malintent."
If so, the absence of a reaction was heartening. He didn't want to harm me. Not at the moment, at least.
"Does it hurt much, these bruises?" he asked, his fingers continuing to trace over them.
"No." I found it hard to hold his gaze when he touched me like that. Gentle, careful, intimate. So different from his previous rough handling of me.
"What do you want of me?" I asked in a low voice.
"So bold and blunt. Are you always this straightforward?" he asked with some amusement.
"Most of the time, yes. I like honesty and appreciate it in others."
"Straightforward," he mused, letting his large hand drop back down to his side. "But not unskilled in the dance between male and female. And it is a dance, is it not? Our words, our actions. You indicate that you would like honesty, and now wait to see if I will give it to you. If I answer as you wish, with plain speaking, it will tell you that your feelings, your concerns, matter to me, and you will have a certain power over me because of that. And yet, you are here, perfumed and prepared for me, indicating a readiness to engage my interest."
> "It's not a power game to me." The cynical look in his eyes prodded me into my next words. "I almost didn't come. For one moment, out in the hallway, it was my intent to bolt, to escape and leave this place."
"Why?" A quiet rumble.
"Because all this preparation at your command, having me dressed, shaved, and perfumed like this, indicates that you want to have sex with me." I took a deep breath. "And I'm not ready for that."
"Plain speaking, indeed. Why did you not try to run, then?"
"I did, but Mona Louisa stopped me. She seems to think our best chance of survival lies with you. I happen to disagree with her, but her will is strong enough now to hamper me physically."
"Two clashing wills stuck in the same shared body. That must be an interesting experience."
"You have no idea." I took another breath, more out of habit than real need. I might still be alive, but it was in an altered state that didn't require me to breathe. "I've answered your question, and would appreciate it if you would answer some of mine. Again I ask you, what do you want of me?"
His eyes were darkly intent upon me — I couldn't read their expression. "I will give you the plain speaking you desire. I wish your affection, your love, your devotion to me."
It became immensely difficult to hold his gaze. "That's a large request for someone I've only just met, and not in the kindest of manner. Why would you want something that your entire hareem of women can give you, all of them much more beautiful than I?"
He smiled, a nice smile instead of a scary one, and it was a drastic transformation, changing him from menacing into surprisingly benign-looking. "You are lovely in a way that none of them are."
I snorted. His smile widened.
"You are lovely in your spirit, and in your refreshing honesty. And what I want most from you, none of the women here can give me. I want a child."
His words stirred pain, invoking memory of the baby I had briefly carried and lost. "Wh-what?"
"I want a child, and only you can give me that. All the women here, beautiful though they may be, are dead. There is no life in them, no ability to bear life. Only you can do that."
I stumbled back until I hit the cushioned edge of a divan. I sat down, my knees, all of me trembling.
His lips twisted, his brows drawing together. "Does the thought of lying with me frighten you that much? Am I so different, so ugly to you?"
"It's not that. I was pregnant once and lost the baby. It was… grief at that memory that caused my reaction to your words."
An uncertain moment of silence passed before he sat down beside me, his heavy weight sinking the cushions down and sliding me closer to him. I didn't try to shift away.
"You are not ugly," I told him. He was a fearsome thing, immensely intimidating, but not ugly.
He lifted a thumb and testingly stroked it over my hand. "You do not think me odd? Repulsive looking?"
"You are gargoyle. Yes, your features are different from ours. But there is nothing grotesque about you. Your great strength, large size, mature horns… I imagine you would be considered quite a handsome gargoyle," I said, smiling at him. His wide lips curved up in response.
"Did you leave behind children in the other realm?" he asked.
"No." A sad smile.
"Do you want children?"
"I don't know. You've sprung it on me so suddenly. It was the last thing I imagined you wanting from me."
"Sex I can easily get," Gordane said, showing that he could be as equally blunt at I. "But a living mother for my child… that is not as easy to come by."
"Lord Gordane —"
"Just call me Gordane."
"I'm not of your kind. Wouldn't you do better seeking out a female gargoyle?"
"I am the only gargoyle here in the lower lands. There are no females of my kind available to me. Only you."
"We might not be compatible. It might not be possible for…" I was going to say, For you to get me pregnant. But that would be putting the onus too much on him. "I might not be able to become pregnant with you."
"We can only try. If you desire a child, you should be aware that I would be your only chance of bearing one. No other male here can give you that."
"Why can you?"
"Because I am a natural creature of this realm. I am not dead as the other inhabitants here are. My kind is capable of reproducing life, as you saw in those pictures."
I slid my hand out from under his and placed it against his broad chest, confirming by touch what my ears had already told me. "But your heart doesn't beat. And you don't breathe, other than to speak."
"Neither do you, yet you still live."
"Are you sure?" I asked, drawing my hand away.
"You are alive as surely as that other woman who shares your body is dead."
If that was so, then we were important to each other in a way no other in this realm could be. We were each other's only chance of having a real family, a child. It changed things between us. Made me look at him in a far different light.
"Yes," he said, satisfied. "You see me now, what I can be to you. What we can be to each other."
He bent his head down to me, and my hand lifted back up to his chest in a stopping gesture. He obeyed the silent command, halting though he didn't need to.
"Will you not let me kiss you?" he asked, his mouth hovering just above mine. "See and know for yourself how we feel against each other? I can please you," he murmured in husky promise.
The laugh I gave was a bit breathless. "With all those women in your hareem, and all the years of practice you must have had —"
"Centuries of it."
" — I do not doubt that you can be good. I just… everything has happened so fast. I was torn from my people, taken from my other life, and came here expecting to be raped by you, not courted. What you said about a child… yes, I do want one."
Triumph made his dark eyes glitter.
"And I know that you are the only one who might be able to give me that child. But I need a little more time to get to know you. To grow more comfortable with you."
"In other words, no sex today."
I blushed. "If you don't mind."
"I do mind. Very much so." His eyes flashed with heat as he held himself frozen above me. "I have not had to hold myself back from anything I desired in a very long time. It does not sit well upon me."
"I'm sorry." Fear edged back into me. Fear more of what would be lost if he tried to force his will, his body on me, when I was not yet ready. Fear of breaking that tentative trust that glimmered like a faint promise between us.
"A compromise," he said, his black eyes gleaming down at me.
"W-what?"
"No sex, that I will grant you. But I would have you give me something of yourself willingly in return."
"What do you want?"
"I would see you unclothed, your body bare, before you leave me this night."
I wasn't sure if I could do that. Then I considered the alternative, considered what else he could have asked of me, or not asked, simply forced me to do. In light of his restraint, long unpracticed, showing him my naked body was not much to ask for really. Highly unlikely that my paltry offerings would trigger him to uncontrollable lust. A good thing.
"Do you agree?"
Conversely, it would have been much easier to comply with his request had I been more centerfold material. Oh, God.
"Yes," I said, agreeing to his terms.
He eased back away from me and stood, giving me room. "Go on."
I'd never done this before, deliberately strip for a man. Gargoyle he might be, but he was still very much male, more powerful and domineering than I was used to. And the look in his eyes said that he very much considered me a female, one he was attracted to. Oddly enough, having him look at me like that, with anticipation, made it harder.
I stood, feeling awkward and uncertain. "In this dress, you already pretty much see everything," I said, stalling.
"You agreed," he rumbled in warning. "D
o not make me ask you again."
Crap. His patience and mercy were apparently at an end.
I didn't disrobe slowly. I did it quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. I slid the straps down my shoulders and that was all it took. Without that support, the dress slithered down my body, falling in a poof around my feet. I stood there, eyes downcast, and sensed him move closer to me.
"Lie back on the divan," he said roughly. "I want to see you displayed there."
My eyes darted up in a quick peek. If he was disappointed in any way, it was not evident. On the contrary, desire had pulled the strong bones of his face even more prominent. His expression was intently male, savagely so, as his eyes moved slowly down my body… sending my feelings flip-flopping from fear of disappointing him to fear of being taken again against my will.
"Don't make me fight you, please."
"I will not touch you with my hands," he murmured in reassurance.
Trusting in his promise, I lay back down on the divan, my body trembling. The smooth flat surface felt too much like a bed, as did his next request. "Open your legs for me."
My eyes shot to his.
"Let me see you," he demanded.
Slowly, I let my legs fall apart.
His eyes roved intimately over my smooth, shaven folds. Over the soft, hidden flesh I bared to his eyes.
"Wider," he said, voice thick. And the rough maleness of his voice, the hot desire I saw in his eyes… it sparked my own desire. That dark, contrary part of me that liked the taste of danger flared to life, and I was suddenly, abruptly, turned on despite my helpless, submissive position. Or maybe because of it. An exquisite feeling of vulnerability danced with a sense of wielded control. Safe danger. My favorite kind.
I spread my legs farther apart, and he shifted, bracing himself over me in the space I had made. With my wide open display and his close viewing of that display, he could not help but see the dewy response starting to seep out.
"You like this," he rumbled thickly, and I bit back a moan, fought not to open farther to him.
Tease him too much and he will take you, a voice inside me warned. My own voice, not Mona Louisa's.
"Yes," I murmured, "a part of me is very attracted to you. To the situation. But my mind still says no. Not yet, at least."