Girl on the Run

by B. R. Myers

  “Damn,” Alicia said.

  No kidding.

  “Well, go ask him to dance,” I said.

  “Please,” she grinned. “I have a boyfriend back home.”

  “I bet you miss him.”

  “More than I thought I would,” she nodded. “I wish I was going back the end of the July. I signed up for the whole summer thinking of all the easy cash I’d make.” She slouched her shoulders and sighed. “I asked Susan if it was possible to leave early. She said she’s looking for a replacement, but it’s kind of short notice, I guess.” She reached for a handful of potato chips from a bowl on the table. “What about you?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said. “I’m just taking it one prank at a time.”

  The gloominess lifted slightly, and Alicia laughed.

  But silently I wondered if Cabin 4A and I would survive the whole summer. Would I be leaving camp earlier than planned? I was surprised to find the thought depressed me.

  “I’d love to go home early,” Alicia said again. She stared at the potato chip in her hand.

  I figured Alicia was deep in some memory of her boyfriend so I let the conversation fade out. Besides, I wasn’t much help in that department.

  I turned my attention back to my guys. They had finally eased out of their corner. I almost fell off the bench when I saw Duff dancing with Diana—or was that Liam? I checked the time, and realized I’d been sitting beside the bowl of chips for half an hour.

  Then I saw someone almost as pathetic as me—Scotty, sitting by himself. I made my way around the jumping dancers.

  “Hey, Scotty,” I yelled over the music. “Do you want to dance?”

  He looked terrified. “With you?” he asked.

  “Come on,” I pulled him off of his chair and led him to a corner where it was so crowded, no one could tell who was dancing together. Scotty and I were able to fake it enough to look like we actually knew how to dance, sort of.

  The dark-haired cutie Scotty had been talking to for the last two weeks waved and smiled at us. Little by little, I moved us closer to where she was dancing with her friends. When the song changed to a slow one, the other cupettes stepped away.

  “Now’s your chance,” I told him. “She’s right there, waiting for you to ask.” I gave him a push then walked into the crowd. When I peeked over a few seconds later they were slow dancing.

  I brushed by a few more bodies and bumped into Lewis.

  “Hey, gorgeous!” He led me to the middle of the floor and soon we were swaying with the other couples. “I’m making dough for tomorrow morning,” he smiled. “Jesse needs her cinnamon buns.”

  I grinned. “You’re the best, but I’m worried you’re becoming a kitchen slave.”

  “The Brasseau sisters let me experiment all I want,” he explained. “As long as I clean up.”

  Lewis scanned the room a few times, then he cleared his throat. “So,” he started, “you’ve danced with Scotty, and me…”

  I detected a hint of matchmaking. “Yeah, so?” I asked.

  “No one else?”

  I snorted and gave him a look. “Like who?”

  Lewis and I slowly turned on the spot. I ended up staring right at Kirk. He was leaning against the wall, watching us. I looked away because I wanted him to think his attention didn’t matter.

  “There’s a rumour going around,” Lewis said.

  I groaned. “No! I was not attacked by anything in the woods this morning.”

  “Attacked?”

  “Oh—what are you talking about?”

  Lewis leaned back and gave me a serious look. “I heard you’re going to finally win the cup.”

  “Are you kidding?” I thought I was going to throw up all over Chloe’s halter dress. “I’m so sick of hearing about that stupid cup.”

  “Sorry.” His quietness was unnerving.

  “No, I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s been a weird day. I should probably go back to the cabin.”

  “You can’t, you’re too hot to leave early.”

  We danced for two more songs, and then he glanced at the swinging door. “See you later,” he said.

  “You’re leaving me now? But you just got here!”

  He held his hands at his sides as if surrendering. “Cinnamon buns, Jesse,” he explained.

  I walked back to the table and sat with Alicia. Lacey had joined her as well.

  “Don’t my girls look great?” Lacey said, smoothing out a flaxen wave behind her ear. “You look nice, Jazzy. I didn’t recognize you at first.” She reached out and touched my bracelet.

  “Girls are so much sweeter than boys,” she said. I faced the other way so she wouldn’t see me roll my eyes. My heart stopped. Kirk was cutting through the crowd, walking straight toward me. I ran a hand through my hair, and glanced to the side, pretending not to see him.

  “Do you want to dance?” he asked. He was standing right in front of me, but looking at Lacey.

  “Sure,” she said, jumping up.

  Someone at the table began to tell a funny story. I smiled and laughed with everyone else, but I felt like I’d hit a brick wall. Stunned, I reached into the bowl and began eating potato chips.

  Dill pickle flavoured. Great.

  A slow song began, but Lacey didn’t return to the table. I snuck a glance and they were still dancing with their arms wrapped around each other, hips swaying side to side.

  Ten seconds later, I peeked again. He was leaning down as she whispered in his ear. Who am I kidding? This contest was over before it started. Kirk the jerk. Kirk the flirt. Kirk the jerk is nothing but a flirt.

  But who could blame him? Lacey was all boobs and perfect suntan, with her long blond hair and a gleaming smile. Who wouldn’t want to be pressing up against that? Her kisses probably taste like crème caramel.

  Oh. My. God.

  The world flipped upside down. I pushed myself up and took a few shaky steps.

  “Jesse? Are you all right?” I heard Alicia say. I swerved in and out of the couples, keeping my eyes on the swinging door at the front of the room.

  Lewis looked up from the counter and frowned. “What’s wrong?”

  “I think I’m gay!”

  TWENTY-FOUR

  I sat on a stool with my hands wrapped around a mug of hot tea. The kitchen had been dead quiet since I burst through the door and dropped my bombshell. Lewis leaned against the counter studying my face. The cinnamon bun dough lay in a blob, forgotten on the floured surface. “How long have you felt like this?” he asked.

  “Since I saw Lacey dancing with Kirk.”

  He glanced toward the door. “When was that?”

  “Just a few minutes ago,” I sniffed.

  Lewis adjusted his glasses. “Um, this seems out of the blue,” he said. “Are you sure? I think you’re jealous.”

  “But it would explain all the kissing problems,” I said.

  “Kissing problems?”

  I related the celery issue with Keith, and Devin’s invasive technique. “I’m wondering if it’s me who’s the difficult one, not the guys.”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “Lewis!”

  “Seriously,” he said. “If Lacey were here right now, would you want to kiss her?”

  I made a face. “Of course not, I hate her.”

  “That’s not what I mean.”

  I stared into my tea. “No,” I admitted. “I wouldn’t.”

  “So…”

  “I guess I’m not gay.”

  “You sound disappointed.”

  I pressed my lips in a thin line. “That leaves only one conclusion,” I said.

  “I can’t wait to hear this.”

  “I must be a terrible kisser.”

  “Oh my god.” He closed his eyes.

  I put down my mug. �
��Maybe I should become a nun and put this all behind me.” I looked to Lewis for support.

  “I don’t think the abbey could handle you.” Then he smiled. “Or maybe you haven’t kissed the right guy yet.”

  “But if I’m a horrible kisser, then I’ll turn off the right guy as soon as I kiss him.”

  “But if he’s the right guy the kiss will be amazing.”

  I thought of Chloe’s kissing clause. A weight of hopelessness settled in my heart. I folded my arms on the table and laid down my head. “This sucks,” I mumbled. “The more guys I kiss, the more horrible my summer gets.” I sniffed. “Maybe I should practice on grapefruit or something. We could invite Cabin 4A to watch and critique. That would be fabulous, huh?”

  “You’re overthinking this.” Lewis sounded like he was biting back a laugh.

  “No, trust me. That’s what would happen. I should face the next humiliation straight on the chin, no more surprises.” I pushed myself off the stool and went over to the large basket of fruit on the far counter and picked up an orange.

  “Hey fella,” I said seductively. “Looking for a good time?” I flicked my tongue over its dimpled surface.

  “Oh, Christ. Please stop.” Lewis took the orange from me. “I don’t want to have to explain this to a therapist someday.”

  “Bugger off.” I grabbed for the orange. “That’s my date for the night.”

  Lewis’s long arms stretched out of my reach. He plopped the orange back in the basket. We both stared at the citrus for a few minutes. Then Lewis shifted his weight closer and let out a long sigh. “What if,” he started, his voice careful, “…what if I kissed you.”

  I looked at him sideways, “You want to kiss me?”

  His expression was pained. “Well, no, but I don’t want you miserable either.” He cleared his throat. “You need an objective opinion about your…technique, right?”

  I glanced at the half finished mound of dough on the counter. Lewis probably wished I’d never burst through the door. “But what if my technique does need work?” I asked.

  We both glanced at the fruit basket.

  “One step at a time.” The colour was high in Lewis’s cheeks. He raised his eyebrows at me. “Okay?”

  I nodded. Then we both stood there staring at each other. “Um…should we just, you know, start?” I asked.

  “You start,” he said. His Adam’s apple moved up and down.

  I was the same height as Lewis with the wedge sandals on. I put my hands on his shoulders. He shuffled closer and put a hand on my waist. “Okay,” I said. I wanted to lick my lips so they wouldn’t be dry, but I felt too close to him. I leaned in, then stopped.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Should I close my eyes?”

  “If you want.”

  Another pause. “Are you going to take off your glasses?” I asked.

  “I hadn’t planned on it.”

  “Oh.” I could feel my pulse in my throat. “Hold on,” I said, leaning back. “What kind of kiss are you expecting?”

  “Your best effort.”

  I swallowed. “I mean, specifically. Like, what are my boundaries? If I were doing the same for another girl…I’d want her to be, you know, careful.”

  A hint of a smile curled at the edge of Lewis’ mouth. “Open mouth, but no tongue.”

  I let out a breath. “Got it.” Then I closed my eyes and kissed him. His lips were perfectly soft and moved slowly with mine. I only had one shot with Lewis. I began to worry the kiss had gone on too long, and that I should have set up a time limit as well. I was about to pull back and mention this when we were interrupted.

  “Lewis?”

  There was a comic suction sound as we quickly unfastened ourselves, then turned our heads in the direction of the voice.

  “Um…I’ll come back later?” Kirk said, looking completely confused.

  “That’s okay,” Lewis said, sounding a little too bored for my liking. “I think we’re done here.”

  I stepped out of the embrace, amazed my hair wasn’t on fire from embarrassment. I should have known; Kirk had some kind of homing device that alerted him to my most vulnerable situations.

  Kirk was still staring at us. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

  “No,” I said. “It’s okay, I was just going.”

  I ran past him and pushed through the door back into the dance. I zigzagged my way through the throng of gyrating bodies and almost made it to the doorway.

  “Just Jesse,” he said, grabbing my wrist.

  “Get away,” I almost cried. “I can’t take any more.”

  “What?”

  I looked at the floor. “You always find me in every embarrassing situation.”

  The music changed to a slow song. Kirk’s feet stayed in front of mine, blocking the way. I kept my head down, wishing he would move to the side and let me escape. I could be tucked in right now, comfortable in my soccer shirt instead of being propped up on stilts looking like an extra on Gossip Girl. Enter loser, stage right.

  Kirk’s fingers left my wrist and held my hand. “Dance with me,” he said. I didn’t say anything. I felt numb and boneless.

  He led me between the other couples to a clear spot in the middle of the room. My legs were made of Jell-O. He linked my fingers behind his neck then pressed his hand against my back. We began to sway side to side. After a few beats of music I turned my face toward his. He was grinning.

  “Stop it,” I said.

  “I’m not allowed to smile when I’m dancing with you?”

  “You’re laughing at me.”

  “That’s nothing new; I’ve been laughing since you got here.”

  We did a few rotations in silence. I could feel the heat from his hands radiate through my dress.

  “I saw you leave looking upset,” he explained. “I guess I should have knocked first.” The playful hint in his voice was obvious.

  “What you saw in the kitchen…isn’t what you think.”

  Kirk didn’t even break rhythm. “I’ve known Lewis for a few years. I don’t consider him competition. By the way, he said your concerns are unfounded and that he’s glad you didn’t break his nose. I’m assuming you know what that means.”

  I stayed quiet, feeling my ears grow warmer, wishing my hair covered them.

  “You’re a little taller tonight,” he said.

  I couldn’t help but notice our mouths were perfectly lined up at the same height. “I should have worn flats. I feel like an Amazon warrior.”

  “It suits you.”

  “Oh.”

  His hand moved up my back, resting on the bare skin between my shoulder blades. “It’s nice dancing with you, I don’t get neck strain.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered. My finger managed to wrap itself around one of the black waves lying against the back of his neck. Something was happening. I pressed into Kirk, moving with the music, acutely aware of each spot our bodies connected. Everyone else in the room disappeared.

  I closed my eyes and breathed in. He was spicy and sweet at the same time, layers of deodorant and aftershave combined with toothpaste and shampoo. The combination made me dizzy—but in a good way. I pictured him swimming ahead of me, then pulling himself up on the dock, standing there waiting for me.

  I definitely had proof I wasn’t gay. In fact, I couldn’t believe I wasn’t spontaneously combusting on the spot. I was loopy with pheromone overload.

  Feeling way too brave, I let my check brush against his. “Remember in the lake,” I said, “when you asked about getting even?”

  The song ended, and the fast tempo of the next selection brought a crowd around us. But we stayed still.

  “Kirk!” Lacey arrived, breathless. “I’ve been looking for you.”

  I let my arms drop and backed up a few steps. I’m sure my face showed off a nice
neon shade of red.

  He said, “I was about to walk Jesse back to her cabin.” He looked at me and raised his eyebrows.

  “Let’s go,” I said.

  We left Lacey with her arms folded across her chest, sporting a confused pout.

  The grass was cool through my sandals and the latest rain had cleared the humidity, but the weather was the last thing on my mind. As we walked away from the main hall, Kirk and I said nothing. We didn’t cough or sniffle. All the way back to Cabin 4A, we were in deafening silence.

  I reached the bottom step of the cabin, then turned to see him stop a few feet from me.

  I smiled and my teeth felt stupid. Everything felt stupid. “Well, this is me,” I said. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome.” He put his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels, like he was waiting for something.

  “I’m wondering,” I said. “What it would be like to have a normal day with you?”

  He looked pleased with my question. “Very boring,” he said, leaning closer. “It’s much more fun surprising you in the lake.”

  And there it was. That sweet and spicy smell that made me automatically smile.

  Crap. I’ve turned into a cupette!

  Kirk reached out and brushed a wave of hair off my shoulder. I stared back, holding my breath.

  A bang from inside the cabin made us jump. The door burst open and out tumbled the twins, wrestling on the spot.

  Liam screamed, “You shithead!”

  Kirk rushed past me to break up the fight. Grunts and pants were peppered with more of Liam’s curses.

  “Stop it!” I ran up the steps as Kirk pulled Duff off Liam.

  “Knock it off!” Kirk held Duff by the shoulders as I pushed Liam back.

  They glared at each other, red faced and breathing hard, with their polo shirts twisted and half pulled off. Duff began to sign wildly.

  “How was I supposed to know?” Liam yelled back.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  Duff began to sign again.