by B. M. Hardin
I stood carrying on a conversation with mama and some of the other mothers of the church, when Charlotte burst through the church doors; running, and yelling for me.
My heart skipped a beat as I hurried out of the church only to find Levi and Zack fighting in the middle of the street.
I had never seen either one of them fight before; they just weren't that type. Both of them were well educated, successful and professional men. The two of them fighting in the middle of the street like they had no home training just didn't seem realistic. Daddy stood off to the side, looking, yet he wasn’t saying a word. Other men of the church were trying desperately to break up the brawl.
But neither of the two men seemed to be listening.
Zack's mother was holding on to his wailing and screaming daughter in shock ---but she didn't attempt to stop the show either.
So, I had to.
“Levi! Really, Levi! Stop it! We are at church! Stop it!” I yelled, frantically. I knew better than to say anything to Zack. As mad as Levi was, I couldn’t take the chance of him possibly knocking my head off of my shoulders.
At my screams and demands, Levi gave me a look that could kill; but nevertheless, he and Zack both backed away from each other.
From the looks of it, it was one hell of a fight. Both men were bloody, dress shirts were ripped, the whole nine yards. My guess was that Levi had started it. It was that feisty Italian side of him that was to blame.
Zack walked toward his mother and picked up his crying daughter. The family walked away in a hurry and I rushed to Levi’s side. Zack hadn't bothered to even look back at me. Though unconsciously, I seemed to keep a visual on him and his family until his black Jaguar was out of sight. Levi snatched away from me as I touched his arm. He still didn't say one word to me. He only apologized to my parents and the church family. Daddy shockingly, nodded at him in acceptance as Levi and mama fell in line behind daddy and headed toward the car.
My sister stood on the church steps in fright; staring me. Her eyes were filled with sympathy and compassion. Almost as if she had wished that she hadn’t, for my sake, said a word about Zack and I. But it wasn’t her fault. I had made the mess and I was the one that had to clean it up.
**********
~*Follow your heart and the rest will fall into place. Live, Love, Laugh… fearlessly.* ~
Anonymous
Chapter Five
The fireworks startled me.
Oh how I hated the Fourth of July. Not what it stands for; just all of the unnecessary noise.
I allowed my feet to dangle off of the side of the bed.
At some point I must've fallen asleep.
After all, planning a wedding was exhausting!
I still couldn't believe that Levi had forgiven me but he had. It took a while but nevertheless he had overlooked my one time mistake. Well....
After the fight between Levi and Zack about two months ago, Levi packed his bags and had gotten on the first flight back home to California. I stayed behind until our scheduled day to leave, which was two days later.
The whole way home none of us bothered to say a word in daddy's pearl colored Escalade.
He didn't even bother to play his gospel music.
I sat staring out the window.
Embarrassed didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. And that was among so many other emotions and mixed feelings.
Arriving back at my parent’s house after Levi had gotten a cab to take him to the airport; I sat in daddy’s recliner; calling and texting his phone over and over again.
After the twentieth call and text message, I lost count.
I just wanted to talk. I just wanted to explain.
But Levi wouldn't give me that satisfaction.
Just as I picked up my phone to call him again mama called me into the kitchen. And soon after, I heard her yell Charlotte's name. She suggested that we help her with dinner, although we both had known that it was more of a demand and not so much as an option.
"I remember when you girls were children. You were so close. Skilar was so over protective of you Charlotte.
I guess it was because---" my mama stopped talking abruptly. Charlotte and I looked at each other as we waited for mama to finish her statement. She never did.
"Look, I know things are a mess. But you girls can't forget what's important and that's the fact that you're sisters. Charlotte, I can see why Skilar would do what she did. And not tell you about Zack because you were so happy.
No, it doesn't make it right; it just makes her human and an older sister. Trust me, I've been there," Mama stated.
At the exact same time my sister and I both looked at mama and waited for her to explain. Realizing that she didn't have much of a choice, she let out a deep sigh and continued.
"I was engaged before your father. Your aunt, Ann, had introduced me to a man named Gerald, who she passed off as just a friend, in an attempt to cover up how she really felt about him. Secretly, she was in love with him. And she didn't realize it until it was almost too late. The day of my wedding, I was looking for her everywhere. She was missing and we needed her for pictures of my bridal party, helping me get dressed, before the ceremony was set to begin. When no one could find her I went looking for her on my own. I figured that she had snuck out behind the church to have a cigarette but before I could even get all the way out of the back door, I heard her speaking. She was confessing her love to Gerald, her best friend; my fiancé. She explained why she had introduced us in the first place and she even asked him to choose. He chose me. As she started to whimper, I eased the door close and I headed back to the other girls as if nothing had ever happened. As soon as she entered the lounge I could see that she had been crying. Did I love him? Yes I did. Enough to marry him. But she was my sister. And I loved her so much more. Long story short, when the organ sounded in the church that day, I didn't meet him at that altar. I was half way across town by then. Although your aunt still didn't get him, she didn't have to live with the torture of seeing me with the man she loved for the rest of her life. To this day, she doesn't know why I left him and I expect it to stay that way," Mama paused just for a second to eye us.
We both nodded.
"I said that to say this: Men come and go but a bond between sisters’ is forever. Patch it up. Get past it. Pretend it never happened. Whatever you have to do. But get over it," Mama said and placed her apron on the counter.
She walked out of the kitchen giving us another look.
We knew without her having to speak exactly what it meant. Talk. Since I was the one at fault, I started the conversation.
"Char, I'm sorry," I said still peeling potatoes.
I didn't bother to look up at her.
"I know. Me too," she said. I looked at her only because I could feel her looking at me.
"Why are you sorry?" I questioned her, not wanting her to take the blame.
"Because I knew Ski," she said and studied my face, waiting to see my expression. She let out a long, deep breath as though she was happy to finally have said that statement.
What?
"He told me…right after he proposed. He said it was nothing. You guys were young. That it wasn’t anything serious. I waited to see if you mentioned it but you never did, so I figured that he was telling the truth and that it wasn't important. Obviously it was...especially to him," Charlotte said, still somewhat apologetic.
Ain't that a bitch? Everybody keeping secrets.
At the time I just didn't know how true that statement actually was.
Charlotte and I continued our conversation ending it with apologies and forgiveness. I was relieved that it had been so easy and that the conversation had gone so well.
We even managed to change the subject and share a few laughs.
Thank you Lord for giving me back my sister; now if only you could give me back my soon to be husband; maybe.
After our talk, I found mama sitting in the living room staring out the window, at the now g
ray sky.
She smiled once she noticed that I was standing there.
She lifted up her hand for a high five.
"Is it fixed?" She asked.
"Yes, ma'am," I answered slapping her hand and taking a seat.
"Good. Have you seen your dad?" She asked, knowing that I hadn't; which I knew her well enough to know she brought him up for a reason, so I simply shook my head no.
"Ski, he has a brain tumor," Mama said a little too fast and full of sorrow.
What?
If one more bomb was dropped in this house today, I would have sworn that we were at the start of World War III.
Not knowing what to say, I remained silent.
I expected Mama to cry or show some type of emotion but…nothing.
Mama sat there and didn't shed a tear; neither did I.
Now the somewhat new affection toward me made sense. He was dying. My daddy was dying.
"We've known for quite some time now. No one else knows. We don't know how much longer he has left; which is why he retired. He says he just wants to live. Something he hasn't done in a very long time," Mama said in an approving tone. She finished sharing, stating, that it had been five long years of doctor’s appointments, treatments and keeping it quiet.
She also shared that Charlotte didn't know and that it was best that she didn't with her and daddy being so close and all.
Mama also stated to me that financially…she was set; we all were. Saying she wouldn't be a burden when he passed on.
Unexpectedly, she seemed just fine.
I guess having five years to prepare was more than enough time to make anyone ready for anything.
I, on the other hand, internally, was a complete mess.
All those years he spent not loving me, now, soon he wouldn't get the chance to.
Mama coached me on how important my silence was and assured me that everything was going to be fine.
As I stood to leave her presence, her next statement stopped me dead in my tracks.
“Ski, I know it's none of my business, but baby you need to go see Zack."
"What? Why? What happened between us was a mistake mama," I said to her, confused.
"I believe you. But, I also believe him. And I’m telling you…go see him," Mama said and she managed to be the first to exit the room.
Against my better judgment, I did as I was told.
I was nervous but I figured that if it was important enough for mama to mention it, then it must have been something that I absolutely needed to know.
I whipped mama’s car into Zack's driveway, slamming down hard on her brakes. I was in somewhat of a rush; wanting to get back home to daddy.
He was the one that I needed to be having a talk with, not Zack. But obviously mama knew something that I didn't;
She had said she believed him.
I wondered just what he had told her.
If he had told her that he was in love with me then that was just too bad. My heart and my mind were already made up. I wanted Levi.
Yet here I was, headed up the driveway toward Zack's doorstep ---again.
I wondered why he even bothered having a garage if he was going to park all four of his vehicles outside of it anyway.
Show off.
Zack opened the door only after my first knock, as if he was expecting me.
The smell of the rain and the smell of his washed in Irish Spring skin, was the perfect mixture, creating a soothing and memorable aroma. My mouth had gotten dry, and I noticed that it was hanging wide open.
I closed it, but still, I stood there in complete admiration.
So, let me tell you what stood in front of me and maybe you’ll understand.
This man was tall, well over six feet.
His skin was a smooth, pecan-honey brown; that was free of scars and bruises. He was athletic build. I could tell that he worked out on the regular basis by his arms and did I mention he had a six pack? Yes, Jesus!
Zack’s eyes were hazel, which had always been one of his strongest assets. He had big, juicy, kiss but don’t tell lips. They had a tan or tint to them as if he was a weed smoker; but of course he wasn't. He wore a low fade and a trimmed beard and didn't look a day older than twenty five.
I couldn’t even find a word appropriate enough to define how sexy he was. Physically; this man had it going on.
He was and had always been as fine as 1977 bottle of wine. I almost licked my lips but stopped myself just in time.
"Hey," he said, holding open the door.
"Hey," I replied. After he noticed that I was hesitant to step inside, finally he stepped out, closing the door behind him. I assumed that his daughter was somewhere close in listening range and who knew if anyone else was inside.
"How have you been? I'm sorry about Levi. I mean, I'm sure you understand. He overheard Charlotte when she approached me about us. She had followed me over here that day," I said looking out at the rain. It was really coming down and instantly I became concerned about my hair.
"Don't worry about it. I knew eventually Charlotte would have a conversation with you about it. I told her a while ago about us you know," Zack said, taking my attention away from my hair.
“Yea…I know. Look, I just came by because---"
"Because your mama told you," he finished my sentence.
"Told me what? She didn't tell me anything. She suggested that I come see you. Zack what is it?" I questioned, beyond curious.
For a while, he just stood there; looking passed me at the thunder and the lightning. I loved the rain but I was terrified of thunder. I was more than impatient and wished he would say something already so I could get back to my parents house; out of this weather and talking things over with daddy.
Finally, he looked at me.
He was smiling but I could tell it was forced.
What the hell was he hiding?
"I don't know if you knew this or not but me and Nubian were quite close after you left. I mean, very close. So close that I was the one who paid for her funeral and everything," Zack started.
Nubian Seabrook had been my best friend growing up.
We were about ten years old when we met. Again, she was the one who had the cool parents and the only one who knew about Zack. Her parents didn't count since they never bothered to ask any questions. Nubian and I were like two peas in a pod. We had done everything together. She was just as much a sister to me at the time as Charlotte was. She had always been there to listen when I needed to vent about my parents; and she was also the one always getting me into trouble. But I didn't mind it. Trouble was my husband; at that age.
Unfortunately, when I went away to college, our friendship suffered drastically. At first, we talked all the time. She had even come to visit me a time or two. But as the years went on, our friendship became almost nonexistent. Holiday phone calls, birthday texts were what we had become. About three years ago, Nubian had died from breast cancer. I hadn't even known she was sick. Mama had called and told me the news of her death, since the funeral was being held at the church and daddy was preaching the eulogy. Being swamped at work and because it was so last minute, I wasn't able to make it home in time to attend her funeral. I had told myself that whenever I was in town, I would go by to visit her grave but every time I was home it had always seemed to slip my mind; until that very moment. Nubian never married; never had any kids. She had died all alone. I was her best friend and I should have been there for her.
At first, the feeling of guilt filled my heart but it was quickly replaced with anger.
Zack said he paid for her funeral and we all know that in this day in time, nothing was ever truly free. Everything came with a price and everybody wanted something for something else. That’s just the way it was. And he had said that they were close. How close?
Damn Zack, you had to have Nubian too? Those exact thoughts soon came out of my mouth.
"So let me get this straight; to get back at me not only did you have my sister but you a
lso had my best friend? That is what you're trying to tell me, right? You brought me all the way over here to tell me this?" I yelled at him, rolled my eyes and walked off the porch directly into the pouring rain.
"What? No, “I heard Zack say behind me and then grab my arm.
"Let go of me!" I yelled and pulled away from him. But he only held on tighter. I pulled him all the way to his truck before he forcefully pushed me up against it and turned me around to face him.
I noticed that all of his vehicles were black; a Jaguar, Denali, Mustang and the Ford Silverado that we were up against.
"No," he said again, looking into my eyes through the rain. It was something about the way he said it that left me no other choice but to believe him. After that, everything else was pretty much a blur.
The rain, the kissing, and next thing I knew we were in the back of his truck making our own thunder.
Now, that I was thinking about it I never did find out what he had to tell me. But nevertheless, that would be the last time Zachary Carter would even get close to touching me.
I was getting married.
All had been forgiven and I would like to keep it that way.
~***~
"Baby, can you help me with these bags please?" I screamed for Levi's assistance.
For the most part, we were back to normal.
When I had gotten back home after the weekend daddy retired, the fight between Levi and Zack, and after the rain dance with Zack, I came home to find every item that Levi owned, packed and waiting by the door.
Since we had gotten engaged, I had given up my house and moved to his condo. Yet he was the one willing to leave. At the sight of his possessions, I broke down into tears and went looking for him. I hadn't noticed that I had run right past him sitting on the couch; it wasn’t until I had circled back around from searching every inch of the condo that I noticed him sitting there.
Levi sat silently. He didn't even look at me. For the first time he allowed me to explain myself without walking away. Though he didn't respond, I knew he was listening. Finally, after almost an hour of dead silence he spoke.