by B. M. Hardin
Zack was parked out front; he had driven his mustang.
As soon as Madison spotted me, she opened the car door and came running.
"Merry Christmas mommy!" She screamed and jumped into my arms. Tears swiftly filled my eyes as I hugged her. I kissed her freezing cheeks and forced myself to pull myself together and not break down in front of her.
"Look, mommy, I got you a gift! I picked it out all by myself,” Madison gleamed with joy reaching me a small box. I opened it to find a beautiful diamond bracelet.
It was the most stunning thing I had ever seen. Though Madison probably did pick it out, I knew that Zack had something to do with it.
"Madison, go find Levi and open up your presents," I coached her. She smiled and ran off to do as she was told.
I approached the car.
"Zack, you know I can't accept this," I said reaching him the box. He smiled and took it from my hands.
He didn't say a word at first; only stared at me.
Feeling awkward, I turned to walk away.
"You look like hell. Are you okay?" He asked.
Though he had chosen a bad choice of words, I could tell that he was sincere.
"I'm just fine Zack," I lied, though I knew that he could tell the difference. But he didn’t question me; he simply rolled up his window, and drove away.
Walking back into the house the warmth met me at the doorway. I immediately spotted Madison opening her gifts on the living room floor. I smiled at her. I was surprised to see that Levi wasn't with her and headed toward the kitchen. I spotted Levi in a corner talking to Charlotte.
In my opinion, they were rather close; too close for comfort; a lot closer than I liked or appreciated.
They seemed to be laughing about something.
Charlotte laughed and threw her head back, touching his shoulder, almost as if she was flirting. Levi was grinning as if he had just won the lotto, or something to that extent.
I became heated with jealousy and…just a little suspicion.
How dare he laugh with her as if everything was okay when he had hardly said two words to me since the miscarriage?
And he sure as hell hadn’t laughed with me.
I watched them both with envy; waiting for one of them noticed me. Levi noticed me first.
He instantly stopped grinning and headed in my direction. Charlotte turned around to see where he was going and caught sight of me. She smiled and followed right behind him. It was something about Charlotte’s smile that made me feel just a little silly for almost thinking the worst. I took a deep breath.
My emotions were getting the best of me. It was obvious that nothing out of the ordinary was going on.
Ski, get it together.
~***~
Things were getting back normal. It was New Year’s Eve and my husband and I were getting dressed to attend a party with some of his new coworkers. I showered first and was done getting dressed by the time Levi decided to head to the shower. Getting dressed in silence, he hadn’t even bothered to look my way because if he had he would have noticed me watching him.
Levi's naked body was looking mighty good to me; too damn good. It had only been a few weeks since we had made love but that was a long time to someone that was used to getting it every day; few times a day, mostly.
I could only imagine how horny Levi probably was.
I walked quietly in his direction. I had been so distant from him lately, that my touch startled him.
"I love you," he said as I kissed his back.
"I know. I'm sorry I've been so distant it’s just---"
"I know." Levi interrupted me and turned to face me.
He kissed me. And I do mean kissed me.
He kissed me like a husband that missed his wife.
I walked backwards until my legs hit the edge of the bed. Though it was too soon to give him dip inside my goodie bag; I could still give him one hell of a sweet treat; a blow pop…blow job; same thing.
Levi stood in front of me as I sat on the edge of the bed. His manhood was fully erect and standing at attention.
I grazed it slowly across my lips and Levi's knees buckled. I allowed the precum to lotion my lips as my tongue caught the remainders.
I massaged all ten inches of his shaft and the little round friends that hung out below it.
Levi ran his fingers timidly through my hair. As I began to suck; his grip tightened. I didn’t mind him pulling my hair or holding my head, hell it actually helped me get the job done.
I looked up at him, hoping to show him how sorry I was for ignoring him. His face portrayed only the traces of understanding and pleasure.
As I made love to him with my mouth, I wanted to make sure that he felt appreciated. I wanted him to know that no matter what, he was still the most important thing in my life.
As my mouth filled up with his juices of satisfaction, I swallowed the content eagerly, entertaining Levi with my pleasurable moans.
We never did make it to the party.
The next morning I woke up to the smell of breakfast.
I laughed aloud when I opened my eyes to see the vase full of roses on the nightstand beside the bed. I touched them and just as I stood to head to the bathroom, Levi's phone began to ring. Figuring that maybe it was important, I headed over to it.
Imagine my surprise to see that it was my sister…Charlotte.
Hmm…why was she calling him?
I checked my phone to see if she had called me first.
Nope.
Once Levi's phone quieted, I waited just a little while longer to see if she would call me next.
Nothing.
Call me old school; but I had an issue with other women calling my man. I didn’t care who it was---anything that needed to be discussed with my husband; needed to be discussed with me first…period.
The scent of breakfast no longer taunted my nostrils.
Now, suddenly, I smelled something fishy.
Something was going on, and I was going to make it my business to find out what.
~***~
I called Charlotte into my office.
When she entered; I almost didn’t recognize her. I eyed her skeptically; up and down---top to bottom.
She had definitely put on a little weight---but it looked good on her. And from the looks of things, someone must have been reading a fashion magazine or two.
Those were my thoughts as I studied Charlotte’s attire.
She was wearing a long sleeved black sweater dress, with a gold waist belt. Charlotte was also wearing pantyhose and black heeled thigh high boots that had gold rhinestones along the zippers on the sides. Her hair was perfect---Charlotte was still wearing the hell out of that Bob. And her makeup looked somewhat professionally done; still pulling off that popping red lipstick.
Home girl had it going on…but fashion wasn't the topic of discussion.
"How are you feeling?" Charlotte asked me, having known for a while now about the miscarriage.
“I’m fine. I was just about to ask you the same thing," I responded to her; trying to catch her vibe.
She didn't seem uncomfortable at all around me. She didn't act like a woman that was sleeping with or like a woman that was trying sleep with my husband.
"I'm doing okay, I suppose," she said and then she became unsettling, disturbingly, quiet.
I waited anxiously for her to say what was on her mind.
I wondered if she would mention calling Levi…but she didn't.
"Can I ask you something? What do you do if the man you are in love with is married? Well…at least you think that he is, but he denies it. Do you try to find out the truth or simply wait to see if it comes out?" Charlotte asked.
What---was this bitch trying to be funny and play me for a fool? Did she think I was that stupid?
The question that Charlotte asked me caught me off guard but it was also exactly what I needed to hear.
Something was definitely going on or about to go on between my sister and
my husband.
Hear me out; I knew Charlotte very well and I also knew how she operated. She had a habit of asking questions that she already had answers to, or making a story about someone else when it was really about herself. Charlotte also had a history of playing things down or up---depending on the situation.
Charlotte was very manipulative and always found a way to get what she wanted…even if it was someone else’s; all daddy’s fault for spoiling her. There was no doubt in my mind that she already knew that the mystery man was married. And from the small smirk on present on her face as she asked the question, told me that the mystery man…was probably my man.
She definitely had balls to ask for my opinion on how to steal my husband?
But then again, knowing my history, why wouldn’t she?
Charlotte’s question was all too convenient and might I add, familiar.
It definitely hit home for me; putting me on the opposite side of a fence. It was a question that not only had I ask; I had also experienced. I had had my share of married men; though it was never on purpose. I always found myself being some cheating husband’s involuntarily mistress; or being the victim of an accidental affair.
Back in the day, I guess I was a little more naive then I wanted to admit. Thinking about it now, all of the signs would be there but still yet, I would ignore them; until one day I found myself outside of my job fighting somebody else's wife---who of course I knew nothing about.
The memory and the scar on my forehead that I had gotten from the wine bottle she had hit me with was a constant reminder of the event no matter how much I wanted to forget it. And considering the situation and the reason behind why the wife assaulted me; the charges I filed against her were dismissed. The judge, in my opinion, was a twenty year married woman who faulted me for not checking into the married man’s background enough.
So, though I was innocent…I was still punished.
I got a concussion…and I got fired from my job.
In fact, it was the job right before interviewing with Levi.
Even after that incident, I had encountered one or two other married men who had a problem claiming their wives.
And oh trust me, checking for a wedding band didn't work anymore. Men these days had a problem wearing their damn ring. I wish I would catch Levi without his on. I had made that clear from the very beginning.
But wearing his ring or not; I guess it didn't really matter if the woman that he was sleeping with was my sister.
"Ski…did you hear what I said?" Charlotte asked me, bringing me back to reality; and the reality was that I thought my sister and my husband were having an affair. Charlotte and Levi were up to no good.
I couldn't prove it but my gut told me I was right.
I was on to her but I didn't want her to know it; not just yet anyway.
"Charlotte, if you think he’s married, well, the truth to the matter is---you’re probably right," was all I could say.
~***~
My thoughts of Levi and Charlotte's betrayal began to consume me. I started to check Levi's phone more frequently. Other than that one morning, I had seen Charlotte in Levi’s call log roughly five times.
I never mentioned a thing to him and what do you know; he never mentioned her calling him to me either.
Something was definitely wrong with this picture. Something was going on but I needed more proof.
I started to check his emails and I would call him as often as I could; anytime I got the chance.
The weird thing was that he seemed to be enjoying all of the extra attention; that was when he wasn’t questioning it.
I tried to stay ahead of the game and overdue my wifely duties. I made it my business to make love to him daily---at least I tried to.
For some reason, Levi’s sex drive seemed to have changed. He didn’t want it as often as he used to.
He didn’t beg for it like a dog in heat anymore and I don’t know about you but to me…suspect!
But despite his lack of asking, I still offered myself to him and gave him everything I had to give.
I was even doing and trying new things, just in case she was doing something that I wasn't.
I wouldn’t lose him to her without a fight.
Not only was Levi acting strange… so was Charlotte. Lately, I found myself constantly quizzing Charlotte about and on the identity of her mystery man.
It had been a while and still none of us had met him; not even mama. I constantly mentioned the married issue but Charlotte would only state that she was still unsure---but that she was still seeing him.
She said that they were in love.
But so many have yet to experience what that truly means.
Nevertheless and though the both of them seemed to have their T's crossed---and their I's dotted, somewhere, somehow one of them would drop the ball---and I would be waiting.
It was Valentine's Day and since my night belonged to Levi, I thought to drop mama a Valentine's that afternoon, since daddy wasn't around to do so.
I guessed Charlotte had been thinking the same thing because she pulled up at the same time I did, carrying balloons and flowers to match my balloons and teddy bear.
We smiled at each other but on the inside I wanted to run her ass over with my car.
I hated feeling this way about my own sister but until I found out the truth---it was what it was.
"Girls, you didn't have to; but thank you," Mama said as we followed her into the kitchen.
I admired my mama for so many reasons.
She was such a good mother; wife, teacher and friend.
The knowledge and wisdom that she possessed was unheard of.
"Mama?" Charlotte said. I knew that she was about to ask mama the same question that she had asked me, and frankly I was dying to hear mama’s response.
"I have a feeling that the new guy I'm seeing is married. What should I do?" Charlotte asked and sat in a chair across the table from me.
Mama washed her hands before joining us at the table.
"What can you do? Except walk away before you find yourself in trouble. Let me tell you something, no woman should ever have to share a man. A woman was designed and equipped with everything that one man, the right man, will ever need. And if what you have isn't quite enough for that man---then you are not the woman intended for him to receive. You see, a woman is like a broom. Just like the hundreds of straws at the bottom, women possess so many qualities and skills. We have so many things that contribute to who we are as a person and the type of woman you are will lead you to the type of man that you need… and that will need you. And just like a broom, a woman can clean up a mess and even at times sweep things under the rug. Not for her sake, but for the sake of others and her family. She's the twine that holds the straw of the broom together; she the one holds everyone and everything together, no matter how rough or how hard things may get. And if you've ever noticed a good, old broom has a nice wooden stick for a handle. It takes some real power and force to break it. And that's the same with us women. We can take blow after blow before we break because we are stronger than we look---and a lot stronger than men think that we are. We’re stronger than we actually get credit for. Never give the man the power to break you. No man is worth taking your joy, your peace, your integrity and your respect. And that intuition that the good Lord blessed us with; isn't just for show or to be taken lightly. It's God’s gift to women and if you feel it, the good and bad news is; that you are probably right. If you think it… you're not too far from it. Before trusting anybody else, you have to trust God and then yourself; yourself will never let you down. So, I said all that to say this. If you have a reason to think he's married, send his married ass back home to his wife. Because what he will take from you is much bigger than you could ever imagine. Never give anyone the room or the power to take your joy. Not your happiness but your joy. There's a difference you know. Happiness is the result of something; you're happy because of this or because of that. But joy, oh sw
eet joy, that's something that's way down in the inside. It’s something that isn't bought or purchased or given or earned. It's something that's there from the very beginning. The sad thing is, is that it can be taken without your permission and getting it back is a job all in itself; and that's what situations such as that one can potentially do to you. Life isn't as hard as we may think. And decisions aren't all that hard to make. Instead of thinking of what could be or should be sometimes, most times, it's better to simply see things for what they are and deal with them accordingly."
Mama’s rant had finally come to an end and Charlotte and I both sat quietly.
Though I had heard everything she said I still couldn't believe that mama had said the word ass. I had never heard her use a curse word, so I was flabbergasted. But she had said a mouth full and one thing I definitely heard her say loud and clear.
Trust my intuition and I was going to do just that.
~***~
Arriving home, I entered the bedroom looking for Levi. The bedroom was boring; which is something I hadn’t expected. Since it was Valentine’s Day, I expected Levi to have gone all out as always---but he hadn’t.
After placing my purse and keys on the dresser by the doorway, and stepping out of the surprising comfortable red pumps that I had worn all day, I followed Levi’s humming into the master bathroom.
There he was on his knees; dropping rose petals into the garden tub, which was surrounded by candlelight.
I saw a wine glass and a bottle of my favorite wine.
I also noticed dozens of red roses; the exact same color of the lingerie and red satin robe which was also present.
I smiled as a sign of relief. He still loved me.
“Hey,” he said once he was on his feet and noticed that I was standing behind him. I puckered up my lips for a kiss. He simply pecked them; which seemed to be the normal lately…but not the normal I was use to.
“Hey, Happy Valentine’s Day,” I said softly.
I’d given him his gift earlier that morning before work. He had mentioned floor tickets to the next basketball game of the home team, in Charlotte, NC, so that’s what I had gotten.
“I love you Ski, enjoy your bath and I’ll be waiting for you when you get out,” Levi explained after he hugged me, just before he exited the bathroom.