The Trivia Man

by Deborah O'Brien

  Elizabeth gave him a sharp look. He was sounding like Kevin again.

  ‘It’s hard for a new child to settle in,’ Jessica continued, ‘particularly when he’s a little … well, different. But Patrick here has been a great support for Josh.’ She shot Patrick a beaming smile.

  For the second time that afternoon, Elizabeth was taken aback. She’d never thought of Patrick as having a friend, let alone being one. It was as though Jessica was describing another child altogether.

  They arranged for Jessica to collect Josh at five o’clock. Then Elizabeth drove the two boys home to Mosswood, where they had afternoon tea and played with Patrick’s weather equipment. Josh seemed as fascinated with it as Patrick.

  Meanwhile Elizabeth contemplated this new aspect to her son. Was it Peter’s influence? Had the ‘drama lessons’ wrought a miraculous change? Surely not, because Peter had told her progress would be slow. She decided to phone him and relay the news about Patrick.

  ‘That’s great,’ said Peter. ‘But I can’t take credit for it. I recall Patrick saying that his uncle is his best friend. Their relationship has established a template for Patrick in terms of what a friendship can be.’

  ‘His uncle’s a bit weird,’ Elizabeth said hesitantly. ‘Not a pervert or anything like that. Just rather eccentric. Actually, I’ve told him he should go and get tested because he’s sure to have it too.’

  ‘Maybe, maybe not. But he’s obviously been a good role model for Patrick. I’d advise you to nurture their relationship.’

  The very next day, who should text her but Kevin? They hadn’t spoken since the night she’d gone to his apartment to tell him the news about Patrick.

  Dear Beth,

  Is it convenient for me to phone you at five-thirty today? I have some information which may be of interest to you.

  Kevin

  Trivia Night

  Maggie

  It was the last night of the season and nobody was expected to answer any questions. That part of the contest was over, and the leader board had been finalised, with bonus points added for karaoke wins and regular attendance. Although the final figures were still under wraps, everyone knew the first prize would go to either Teddy and the Dreamers, the Usual Suspects or the Amazons.

  The Professor and Miss Kitty had arranged the prizes on the stage. Maggie looked at the various items on display, but there was only one that interested her. The smallest of them all. An envelope containing the voucher for the weekend away. And even though the thought of spending two days with Edward was far from appealing, she felt a little buzz of excitement whenever she pictured a holiday in the country with Kevin. He wasn’t gorgeous in a Josh Houghton kind of way, yet there was something oddly attractive about him. And if she were to be completely honest, she would have to admit that the image of Kevin in his fedora and three-piece suit had remained in her head ever since the movie night.

  Just then, the man himself arrived and Maggie found herself blushing at her little fantasy. After he bought their drinks at the bar – a lemon, lime and bitters for him, a chardonnay for her – they sat down at table ten. Maggie noted his skin had regained its colour and the forlorn expression was gone.

  ‘What’s happened with your sister?’ she asked, knowing it was unlikely he would volunteer the information.

  ‘Patrick’s psychologist told her that I would be a good resource for Patrick, being the person he confides in most. So I’m allowed to see him again.’

  ‘That’s wonderful news, Kevin.’ Maggie contemplated giving his hand a quick squeeze and then thought better of it. ‘Did you tell your sister what your own psychologist said?’

  ‘Yes, but Beth wants me to get a second opinion. She says I’m a classic case if ever there was one, and that even blind Freddy could see it. Who was blind Freddy anyway, Maggie? Do you think he was a real historical figure?’

  ‘I have no idea.’

  ‘Maybe we should look it up on the net. It’s something we should know … just in case.’

  ‘Not now, Kevin.’

  ‘I told Beth you weren’t surprised at the diagnosis and that you found me quirky but interesting.’

  ‘How did she react to that?’

  ‘She asked a lot of questions about you.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like what you do for a living, whether you’re married, how old you are.’

  ‘My age? But I’ve never told you that.’

  ‘Aren’t you about forty-five?’

  Maggie almost choked on the sip of chardonnay she’d just taken. ‘Forty-six, actually,’ she said, praying lightning wouldn’t strike her down.

  ‘And I said you’re a film buff and you came to the movie night as Jean Harlow. The only problem is she’s made an assumption.’

  ‘An assumption?’

  ‘A false assumption.’

  ‘And what might that be?’

  ‘That you’re my girlfriend.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘I tried to correct it, but she wouldn’t listen. She said someone like you was much better suited to me than Danni.’

  ‘Danni?’

  ‘The girl I told you about.’

  ‘But aren’t you still seeing her?’

  ‘It ended.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ But Maggie wasn’t sorry at all.

  ‘Are you upset about Beth thinking that we’re …?’ His voice trailed off.

  ‘Not really. After all, you’re an attractive man. A girl could do worse.’ When she saw him blushing, she added, ‘I’m only joking. Anyway, it seems to be a common thread. Even our fellow team members think we’re a couple. So do the Professor and Miss Kitty.’

  Kevin’s eyes widened. ‘Why would they think that?’

  ‘I wouldn’t have the foggiest,’ Maggie said with a grin.

  At that moment Carole arrived with Edward in tow.

  ‘Are we all agreed about the weekend away?’ Carole asked as she sat down.

  ‘We haven’t won yet,’ said Maggie.

  ‘It’s a fait accompli,’ said Edward, heading off to the bar.

  While he was away, Carole whispered in Maggie’s ear, ‘He’s in a bad mood tonight.’

  Maggie couldn’t ever remember seeing Edward in a good mood, but she responded as if it was an aberration. ‘I’m sorry to hear that.’

  ‘It’s the book,’ Carole continued.

  ‘Writer’s block?’ Maggie asked.

  ‘No, it’s much worse than that. He received a rejection letter today. They said it didn’t suit their needs at this time.’

  ‘Wouldn’t that just be a standard response?’

  ‘I suppose so. All the same, he’s devastated. He only came to trivia tonight because of the prize-giving.’

  ‘But surely he’s going to keep trying. There must be plenty of other publishers out there.’

  ‘I don’t know, Maggie. He expected them to jump at it and now he’s got the huff.’

  ‘I suppose it feels like a double rejection – after the retrenchment.’

  ‘We don’t call it that, Maggie. It’s “long service leave”.’

  ‘Sorry, I forgot.’

  ‘Shhh. He’s coming back.’

  Ash and Mei Zhen arrived late, giggling and whispering to each other. Maggie knew the reason and wondered if Carole did too.

  ‘Do Ash and Mei Zhen seem a bit strange tonight, or is it just my imagination?’ Carole whispered to Maggie. ‘Do you think they’ve been drinking?’

  So Carole didn’t know.

  Meanwhile, Kevin, who had overheard Carole’s question, had turned towards the new arrivals and was staring at them as if they were creatures in a zoo.

  ‘No, I don’t think they’ve been drinking,’ Maggie whispered. ‘And stop staring, Kevin.’ Then she saw the hurt look on his face and added, ‘Did you know that women have much better peripheral vision than men? Which means we can look at a nice-looking man without overtly ogling him.’

  ‘Ogling. That’s exactly what men do to women,�
�� said Ash, who had caught the end of the conversation.

  ‘I must look up that theory about peripheral vision and gender differences,’ said Kevin.

  Mei Zhen cleared her throat. ‘We have some news for you,’ she said, addressing the entire team. ‘It’s top secret, at least for now.’

  ‘You’re not transferring to another school, are you?’ Carole asked anxiously. ‘You’re the best music teacher we’ve ever had.’

  ‘It’s nothing to do with school.’ She took a deep breath before announcing, ‘We’re having a baby.’

  There followed a silence in which Edward, Carole and Kevin seemed to be processing the unexpected revelation. Being the only one for whom it wasn’t a surprise, Maggie spoke first, trying to coax a positive response from the others. ‘A baby! We’re all thrilled, aren’t we?’

  ‘Yes, it’s lovely news,’ said Carole. ‘I feel like a proud grandmother.’

  ‘Congratulations,’ said Kevin. He stood up, went over to each woman in turn and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

  Maggie was so proud of him she felt she could burst; she’d never seen him actually touch anyone affectionately before, let alone kiss them. But her pleasure didn’t last long.

  ‘How disgusting,’ said a strident voice beside her.

  ‘Sorry?’ said Ash.

  ‘You heard what I said. It’s abnormal. Perverted. Unnatural.’

  ‘You’re a doctor, Edward. I would have thought you’d be more open-minded,’ Ash said in a strained voice.

  ‘There are some things which are unacceptable.’

  ‘He doesn’t really mean that, Ash,’ said Carole. ‘It’s just come as a shock.’

  ‘I meant exactly what I said, Carole.’ He turned towards Ash and Mei Zhen. ‘Which one of you is the mother, anyway?’

  ‘I am,’ Mei Zhen replied timidly.

  ‘So, what is this child going to call you, Ash? Daddy?’

  ‘Why can’t you just be happy for them?’ Carole said. ‘Or if you can’t, then say nothing.’

  ‘Shhh, everyone,’ Maggie said, grateful the Professor had chosen that moment to tap on his microphone. ‘He’s about to unveil the leader board.’

  Meanwhile, Ash glared at Edward, who reciprocated with an expression of sheer disdain.

  ‘This is the night everyone’s been waiting for,’ said the Professor, ‘the culmination of three months of competition. So without further ado, I’m very proud to announce that in third place we have the delightful Amazons. Could the captain please come up and collect their prize?’

  A tall woman with long dark hair bounced onto the stage and was presented with a voucher for a porcelain dinner set.

  ‘She’s the one who tried to recruit me in week one,’ Kevin whispered to Maggie.

  ‘Really? How could you have said “no”? She’s so gorgeous.’

  ‘And scary.’

  ‘In second place we have the Usual Suspects,’ the Professor said.

  A beautiful blonde sidled up to the Professor and was given a voucher for electrical goods.

  ‘She tried to headhunt me too,’ Kevin said softly.

  ‘So why did you choose to join our team?’ Maggie asked, ‘When you could have spent twelve weeks in the company of someone so attractive?’

  ‘I liked what you had to say about accountants.’ Then he added so quietly she could barely hear it, ‘And I liked you.’

  Maggie blushed a deep pink, though nobody else at the table seemed to notice because the Professor was in the process of announcing the champions.

  ‘It will come as no surprise to you,’ he said, ‘that our first prize goes to a team which has played consistently well. It is, of course, table ten – Teddy and the Dreamers. Now I’ll call on the team leader to come up and select their prize.’

  As Edward made his way to the stage, his bulky swagger reminded Maggie of the captain of a winning football team going up to collect the trophy.

  ‘Well done, Teddy,’ the Professor said, shaking his hand. ‘Now, which will it be? The holiday or the plasma?’ He pointed the microphone in Edward’s direction.

  There was a pause of a second or two before Edward replied, ‘We’ll take the TV.’

  Maggie almost fell off her chair. Carole looked dazed and Ash and Mei Zhen exchanged puzzled looks. Even Kevin, whose face rarely registered an emotional response, looked dumbfounded.

  ‘Are you sure about this, Teddy? Once you make the choice, it’s locked in. There’s no going back. No exchanges.’

  Maggie wanted to stand up and shout, ‘What are you doing, Edward Clarke? We all agreed on the holiday!’ But Edward was already saying, ‘We’re absolutely certain.’

  ‘In that case, we’ll arrange to have the TV delivered to the address of your choice. And again, congratulations, Dreamers. You’ve been outstanding players.’ He presented Edward with a silver trophy.

  ‘Would you like to say anything, Teddy?’

  ‘Just that I’ve chosen a prize which can be shared financially. I feel it’s the best course considering the circumstances.’

  And in the wake of that cryptic comment, he departed the stage and deposited the trophy with a bang on table ten.

  ‘Why did you choose the bloody TV?’ asked Maggie, who rarely swore in public. ‘We’d all agreed it would be the weekend away.’

  ‘Hardly appropriate now, is it?’ he said, his face turning purple. ‘I don’t want to spend a weekend with them.’

  Although he didn’t look directly at Ash and Mei Zhen, everyone knew who he meant.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Edward. ‘I’ll sell it at an online auction and divvy up the amount. You’ll all get your money.’

  ‘It’s not a question of money,’ said Maggie.

  Meanwhile Ash and Mei Zhen were standing up.

  ‘We’re leaving,’ Ash said. ‘Thank you for your good wishes, Maggie. And you too, Carole.’ She bent over and kissed Kevin on the forehead. ‘You’re a good man, Kevin.’

  ‘See you tomorrow,’ Maggie called after them plaintively, but they were already heading out of the auditorium. She turned towards Kevin, who still had a stunned expression on his face. Whether it was from the kiss or the recent chain of events, or both, Maggie couldn’t tell.

  ‘Edward Clarke!’ Carole said in a fierce voice that Maggie had never heard from her before, not even when she was dealing with a recalcitrant student. ‘I know you’ve had your worries recently, but you had no right to speak to them that way.’ She rose from her chair and threw the strap of her bag over her shoulder. ‘I’m going home. You can take a cab. And don’t expect to sleep upstairs tonight.’ Then she swept out of the auditorium without looking back.

  Now only half of the team remained at table ten, an oddly matched trio with a silver trophy in front of them.

  ‘It’s a free country, isn’t it?’ Edward said, when Maggie glared at him. ‘I was just stating my opinion. I’m sure most people in this room would concur.’

  ‘I don’t,’ said Maggie.

  ‘Neither do I,’ said Kevin.

  For a second Maggie’s eyes met Kevin’s before he looked away.

  ‘And you two,’ Edward said, turning on them, ‘with your seduction zones and secret whisperings. You’re like a couple of lovesick teenagers.’

  Maggie was about to offer a retort when she remembered that Edward was a man whose whole career had been taken from him. Maybe that accounted for the extreme boorishness he had exhibited this evening.

  ‘We’re going too,’ Maggie said, giving Kevin a nudge on the arm.

  But Edward was already out of his seat. ‘Why don’t the two of you stay? A chance to be alone together. That’s why you come here, isn’t it?’ As he turned to go, he added, ‘I’ll get Carole to email you when the television is sold.’

  Epilogue

  Once Edward had left, Maggie sat absently fondling the silver trophy on the table in front of her. Although it wasn’t real silver, just a cheap look-alike, it was impressive nonetheless. She couldn’t rememb
er winning a trophy before. She’d never been good at sport, and nobody had ever awarded trophies for academic achievement – not back in the 1960s and 70s, anyway. The front bore an inscription engraved in italic:

  Clifton Heights Sports Club Autumn/Winter Trivia Competition Champions: Teddy and the Dreamers

  At least they had come away with something tangible. She didn’t dare look at Kevin, whose head was inclined towards his chest, hiding his face. What had he made of the hubbub? Then she heard: ‘It’s not about the prizes, Maggie.’

  ‘I know that, Kevin. Trivia is so much more than a competition.’

  ‘What are we going to do now?’ he asked despondently.

  ‘I have no idea.’

  ‘Well, I don’t think they’re coming back.’

  ‘Mmm, I suspect their trivia days are well and truly over.’

  After a long pause he said, ‘What about you and me?’

  From anyone else that would have sounded like a proposition.

  ‘Us? A team?’

  ‘We were the best players anyway.’

  There wasn’t a hint of smugness in Kevin’s words. He only dealt in facts. As for tongue-in-cheek, he didn’t do nuance or humour – at least not intentionally.

  ‘That’s true,’ she replied. No need to be falsely modest when you were talking to someone who always spoke the truth.

  ‘Miss Kitty’s taking down names for the next season,’ Kevin said. ‘It starts in a month’s time. Maybe we could get table eight. It’s near the exit.’

  Maggie didn’t hesitate for a second. ‘Let’s do it. But what are we going to call ourselves?’

  ‘Two for the Road?’ he suggested.

  ‘No, that was a movie,’ Maggie replied. ‘With Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney. 1967. Let’s come up with something original. No pop culture references.’

  ‘Well, how about The Two of Us?’

  Maggie shook her head. ‘A song by Jackie Trent and Tony Hatch. From the mid-sixties.’

  ‘Can’t you remember the exact year, Maggie?’

  If she hadn’t known better, she might have thought he was kidding her. ‘I’ll look it up when I get home, Kevin.’