by Rob Sperry
Be careful with how you communicate your authenticity. Sometimes we try to be authentic, but it backfires on us because we try too hard, too fast. If you haven’t yet developed a relationship of trust you might have the opposite effect of what you had hoped for. Phrases like, “Let me know how I can serve you” and “How can I help you?” are not to be used too soon or too freely. If it is used before you actually know someone, others will think your intentions aren’t genuine. That sounds crazy but remember people are skeptical. They will think, “What’s the catch? What’s your hidden agenda? You don’t know me well enough to help me, you weirdo.”
Todd Falcone is brutally honest. Follow him on Facebook or go look up some of the trainings he has given. He is not only an industry legend, but he is also one of the best speakers/trainers in the entire industry. As you follow him on social media you know instantly that he is authentic and that he will tell you exactly what he is thinking. It doesn’t matter if you know him or not, you know by watching his content that he is real and authentic. It is easy to trust those who give no fluff, no exaggerations, and are just real with you. People like that seem to be a dying breed and are so refreshing to encounter.
Increasing your authenticity will help you be more successful in all aspects of your life. It is one of the key success principles that isn’t given enough credit and is rarely talked about. If you practice what I just taught you about becoming more likeable, you will have plenty to work on in your journey to become a more likeable person. Trust me, it’s worth it!
THE DATING GAME
Make new friends, but keep the old. Those are silver, these are gold. — Joseph Parry
The point of The Likeability Factor is to make new friends and associations, but you can’t do that if you don’t meet new people. Think of networking like the dating game. When you are single and looking to meet someone, you would be open to as many opportunities as possible that could lead you to hopefully meet “The One.” You would be the most social version of you. You’d be absolutely more likely to go to social events outside your comfort zone to meet new people whenever you could! Tailgating before the football game? You’re in! A neighborhood get-together where you barely know anyone? Maybe not normally, but this isn’t normally. In networking, it should be just like the dating game. When you understand the real currency of networking, you will make time to find opportunities to meet others and practice your likeability with them.
Meeting new people can go a lot of different ways. You can either treat the new people you meet with the same respect as someone you have a one-night stand with, or you can treat them like you are looking for a long-term stable relationship. Now, I’m no expert on one-night stands. I don’t have any personal experience, but I do have an amazing wife that I am in a happy long-term relationship with. I know that if I had treated my wife poorly when we first met, or if I didn’t try to get to know her better, that we would not be in the position we are today. If someone is feeling like they are being used, they will be turned OFF, and very quickly!
Just as it is important to treat people respectfully when you meet them, it is also important you are meeting the right kind of people. There are tons of different ways to meet new people. The kind of people that you will meet will be dependent upon the kind of event or place you go to. Try:
Religious Events
Exercise Classes
Hobby Clubs
Art Classes
Coffee Shops
Animal Parks
Conferences
Retreats
Ethnic or Gender-Based Clubs
Local Colleges or Universities
Social Media
Alumni Events
Trade Shows
Music Events
Online Forums
Blogging
Toastmasters
Volunteer Work
When you purposefully network, you are going to surround yourself with the people that you choose, not the ones that just happen to end up around you. A good network being created is like a merger of two good companies. It allows you to accentuate your strengths and hide your weaknesses. What was a weakness of yours may be a strength of your network, and you are now able to reach farther than you previously would have been able to because of your expanded network. Get out there and purposefully network; you have nothing to lose and a whole network to gain! Although this book focuses on how to network, I have a free eBook that will teach you how to take one person and turn them into thousands. This technique will help you to never run out contacts. In network marketing we call that strategy taprooting. This eBook is focused on the techniques to taprooting. Go to www.robsperry.com/blueprint/ for the free download.
CHAPTER 3
THE LAW OF
CREDIBILITY
LAW #2
Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become. — Jim Rohn
Would you travel hundreds of miles in all kinds of horrible weather conditions, day and night, week after week, just to keep a promise you really didn’t want to make in the first place?
Frodo Baggins in the Lord of the Rings is the definition of Credibility. While living a calm and peaceful life in his grassy hometown called “The Shire,” a wizard friend named Gandalf came to visit one day. Gandalf bluntly shared that Frodo’s world as he knew it was going to come to an end unless Frodo traveled across the land, hundreds of miles, and threw a tiny little ring into a very specific volcano. Easy enough, right?
Now, Frodo was not in good shape or equipped for the job, but he agreed to do it anyway (I guess it’s hard to say no to a wizard!). Frodo and his partners took off trekking across the land in rain and snow, the scorching sun, through swamps and spiders, and up sharp, treacherous mountain sides. Finally, when Frodo did make it to the specific volcano, he was so exhausted from his journey that he almost died before finally throwing the ring into it and saving the world.
Now, if I need something done, and my friend Frodo says he will help me make it happen, do you think I will have any doubt that Frodo would help get the job done? No! He built his Credibility by saying he was going to do something and then doing WHATEVER IT TOOK to get the job done.
The Credibility you build as an individual is a key point to your overall networking success. I am going to teach you to do what Frodo did, except without the whole near-death experience part (if that’s ok with you, of course). If you don’t put the practices I am about to teach you to good use, you are going to end up really pissing off your grandma.
WARNING HIGHLY SARCASTIC. There is a secret formula that will help you piss off your grandma, and join the all-exclusive NFL (No Friends League) Hall of Fame and become the most annoying neighbor your community has ever seen. This training is not limited to just those topics. I will also give you tips on how to get instantly blocked on social media and even become an orphan. Buckle up, because it’s about to get wild!
Tip #1: Pesky Persistence. Call your friends and family everyday about your opportunity. When they say no, they obviously must not understand, so you should start calling three times a day. Pesky Persistence is the key to losing friends and not influencing people.
Tip #2: Overhype. If you think someone can make $500 a month always add on two more zeros. Always over promise. Besides, doesn’t $50,000 a month sound way more intriguing than $500 a month? Follow this strategy and your neighbors are guaranteed to hate you.
Tip #3: Sell Sell Sell. Mansion Monday, Gold Watch Wednesday, and Ferrari Friday are my three favorite days of the week. Why only hype up how much money you can make? Promise more than money. Oversell the dream because who doesn’t like a cocky salesperson?
Tip #4: The Cure All. If you are truly committed to the NFL, you will sell a wild, crazy, over-the-top story about how you “aren’t supposed to make claims… but your friend’s babysitter’s dog’s cousin’s illness was cured by your product.” Everyone hates an outrageous lie that is sure to be investigated by legal authorities, so save this for y
our most special contacts ONLY.
Tip #5: Social Media. Please post five times a day MINIMUM about what an idiot everyone else is for not being in your company while you talk about how great your business is. Be very offensive and belittling, letting them know how truly dumb they are and how brilliant, rich, and especially blessed you are.
I can guarantee that these tips will drastically improve your odds for pissing off your grandma, joining the all-exclusive No Friends League Hall of Fame, and becoming the most annoying neighbor your community has ever seen. I can also promise very confidently that your odds will also increase on getting instantly blocked on social media and even becoming a disowned orphan. I could go on and on about these principles, but if you truly want a great laugh as well as great insight on what to do, go buy the book Don’t Be “That Guy” in Network Marketing by Adam and Michelle Carey. However, if you want to read how NOT to do these things, read on.
C REATE YOUR GREATNESS
You were born with potential.
You were born with goodness and trust.
You were born with ideals and dreams.
You were born with greatness.
You were born with wings.
You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.
You have wings.
Learn to use them and fly. — Rumi
Once you have had success, it will make it easier (not easy) to have success again.
Now, I know it may be tough, and at times it may seem impossible. However, you must do whatever it takes to become great at something. You must create credibility. I don’t care what it is. Honestly, it could be that you’re the best bowler in the state, or maybe you are the most consistent person at the gym. People love being around greatness.
Look at all of the famous celebrities and athletes who don’t have the best personal lives, but people still gravitate towards them because of their greatness. I know there are a lot of people who don’t like Floyd Mayweather, myself included, but you can’t help but notice him when you see him in person and be like, “Holy cow, that’s Floyd Mayweather.” Being great at something will make networking so much easier.
I know it isn’t easy, but if you don’t have that story yet, you need to figure out what you are going to be great at! It will bring you Credibility in everything that you do. Go crush one thing to prove to yourself that you are capable of greatness.
Network Marketing is a business. We don’t promise fortune or fame with NO work. This isn’t “NOT-work Marketing.” It’s Net-work marketing. There is work involved. Know that from the start. — Tara Wilson
The principles of success are the same in everything you do. The technique will be different, but the principles for success are universal. Whether you are in school, sports, music, acting, or the business world, you will have to abide by the exact same principles of success. These principles include hard work, taking responsibility, discipline, commitment and perseverance. What you don’t see on this list is the word “talent.” Interesting isn’t it? When we talk about Credibility, we aren’t talking about the most talented individual on the team. We are talking about the person that PROVES their talent and that’s what true Credibility looks like. A great book on this is called Talent is Overrated by Geoffrey Colvin. Network marketing Consultant Christopher Hussey says, “You must take one small step at a time as you build your empire and achieve those long-term goals. Many people fail to truly build their network marketing business because they are looking too far ahead, and they fail to take the daily actions required to keep their business growing.”
As you learn these success principles, you will learn how you can apply them to everything. As you succeed, you will also build trust in yourself. Your confidence will grow in your ability to have success in anything you do. Your greatest skills will attract your greatest contacts. I am a tennis player. I met my business partner Lance Conrad through the tennis club. Look through your best contacts, and I will bet that most of them were developed from what you do best. Stop and really think about that last sentence. Think about your very best contacts. Did some or many of them come from what you do best?
If you’re like most people, you are on the fast track to getting a Bachelor’s Degree in Wasting Time, and that’s not good! Figure out your time wasters. You can’t create greatness without eliminating your distractions.
What are those top distractions that have no true return on your investment? The first thing that most people think of is the TV. Don’t waste time on TV! There is an opportunity cost involved. You are not only paying monthly for it, but you are also wasting time watching it when you could be doing something to build your future. Imagine eliminating two hours of TV a day. That’s 14 hours a week. That’s 56 hours a month, or over two full days that you get back and can be productive with. You have to give up what you like to earn what you love.
Giving up what you like to earn what you love is one of the hardest success principles for people to truly understand. My first six months in network marketing, I completely eliminated TV. I am an avid tennis fan, and I missed all of the US Open in 2008 and the entire epic Summer Olympics with Michael Phelps setting records. I didn’t watch even one minute of TV during those six months because I needed to create greatness, and I did.
Now that I have created a story, I am still disciplined on the amount of TV I watch, but at 10 p.m. I will watch a show with my wife that is on either Netflix or DVR. On the main floor of my house, there is no TV anywhere in the kitchen or living room area. I stopped watching the NFL, with the exception of some huge games, and now I have almost completely quit watching tennis. I watch my favorite NBA and college football team whenever I can, but I have drastically gotten rid of so many distractions. I liked what I gave up, but I love what I have earned.
Some people would say what I did (or currently still do) is painful. I would say it has helped to create my dream lifestyle. The radio or listening to music can also be a time waster. I traded in music for audio books. When I am at the gym for an hour, I now listen to books to maximize my time. If this scares you, chill out! You have to decide what are your outlets and what are your distractions. My outlet is movies. I love movies. Movies inspire me. For others, their inspiration or outlet happens to be music. You need to figure out what are your distractions.
Another major distraction is our phone. According to Simon Chan, founder of MLM Nation, “We have tons of distractions and Time Thieves that steal our time and thus steal our money every day and one of the worst Time Thieves is the cell phone!” I won’t go into detail, as we all know how distracting a phone can be. The question is what are you willing to give up to give you more time to create the life that you can own? Discipline isn’t to take away from what you want in life. Discipline is there to give you everything you really want in life. Everything has a price. Discipline in the right habits helps you earn what you want. Distractions are everyone’s struggle. Distractions are a mirage that prevent you from achieving everything you desire. Discipline may seem to be an enemy that you never want to embrace, but in reality discipline is your true ally. Whitney Husband is one of the world’s most successful network marketers. She is also a young mother of 2 kids. She says to ask yourself this, “is what I am doing right now really working.” I think this is relevant because many times we think we are working but we are wasting time with distractions. Whitney goes on to say that social media is very powerful but many times we scroll through Facebook way too often. Later on in this book I will teach you more on how to properly use social media.
Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
THE LAW OF CREDIBILITY COMES THROUGH CREATING THAT GREATNESS
In my opinion, the following story illustrates one of the greatest social experiments. A man stood at a Metro station in Washington, DC, playing the violin. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of
whom were on their way to work.
Three minutes went by, and a middle-aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried along. A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly, he was late for work. During the entire 45 minutes, only six people stopped and stayed for any length of time. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk. He collected a paltry $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.
The violinist was Joshua Bell, and he’s considered to be one of the best musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a Stradivarius violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before he played in the subway, Joshua sold out at a theater in Boston where the cheap seats were $100 each. Due to his extreme talent, Joshua often charges upwards of $1,000 per minute. Go look up Joshua Bell on Google. He is the real deal!
This endeavor was made possible by a “social experiment” by the Washington Post.
The lesson I want to point out is the Law of Credibility. Credibility is very difficult to earn but greatly amplifies everything you say or do once it is earned. If you receive incredible advice from a non-successful friend vs the exact same word for word advice from Warren Buffett, would it be received differently? The Law of Credibility had this same effect on Joseph Bell. When he was properly edified and promoted at a Boston theater, cheap seats sold for $100. The next day, when no one knows who he was, there was very little interest.
Joshua Bell wasn’t the only superstar to garner little interest at one point. Luke Hessler was an average college student. He was a great guy who was young and had no experience or Credibility for building a business. What Luke did have, however, was determination, crazy enthusiasm, and a strong work ethic. Luke went out and did everything he possibly could to create a story. He achieved success in a network marketing company by working hard and pushing through those fears we all have. Luke went from being considered the popular kid on a big college campus to the crazy, weird kid.