by Curd, Megan
Choosing to ignore Ethan’s incessant talk, I pushed him aside and met Angie in the doorway. “Let’s talk then.”
As we walked away, Ethan shouted something about me loving humans too much, but I ignored him. Angie led us outside and sat down on the steps that led to the student parking lot. Wet leaves stuck to the blacktop, an occasional one flitting past before sticking to the side of a car or window. It was chilly, but not terrible. Angie rubbed her arms without thinking. She smiled as she looked at me through the corner of her eye. “No hoodie?”
I smiled. “Left it inside in my locker.”
She nodded and looked away, thoughtful. She put her arms on her knees and supported her chin with one hand, while the other played with a loose strand of hair. She had it pulled back in a braid of some sort. She turned to me and gave me an amused look, as she caught me evaluating her. “Look, Levi. I don’t like to get into peoples’ business, but Hannah is my best friend. Today she’s been quiet and won’t talk to me about anything that happened yesterday when you two got home. All she says is it’s better if you’re not around for a little bit. What did you do?”
Even though the question was accusatory, it didn’t feel like it. Instead, Angie seemed genuinely concerned about what happened. Her kind soul was showing through. I shrugged, not sure how to begin. “It’s complicated.”
“Sure it is. Nothing is ever easy,” she said as she leaned back and propped herself up with her arms behind her. A smile crept across her face. “Plus, it doesn’t help when the guy you’re interested in is dead. That usually means you’re a little messed up in the head.”
I rolled my eyes. “Generally speaking, that’s probably true.”
She continued, even though I hadn’t given her much to go on. “But, like I was telling Hannah, you deserve a chance, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now,” her hazel eyes were clear and true when she looked at me again. “I think Hannah agrees, she just doesn’t know how to deal with everything going on. I told her to give you a shot. Don’t make me regret telling her that.”
“I wasn’t planning on it.”
Angie nodded thoughtfully. “So, what did you do to make her freak out? She’s usually pretty level headed, so I’m assuming you’re like a serial killer or something.” Her wan smile made me feel at ease.
“It’s not that bad.”
“Then what is it?”
“Well, I only killed one person. Not multiple people.”
She gasped, but then pulled herself together just as quick. “Well, that makes sense. So how did you get to transition if you killed someone?”
I shrugged. “Wish I knew. Ethan has been there longer than me and hasn’t ever had a chance. I don’t know what the difference is.”
Angie put her hand on my knee. “Levi, you’re good. You may have done bad things in the past, but they don’t have to define you. You can choose to move forward and make the future the best you can. You’re doing just that. Hannah has to respect it. Just give her time.”
It was impossible not to be blown away by Angie’s wisdom. She was only sixteen. How did she come by this insight so naturally? It still evaded me and I’d been around a lot longer than her. “You don’t want to know who I killed or why?”
She cocked her head to the side. “Does it really matter? You’ve already told me the end result. It doesn’t justify what you did either way. Like I said, just move forward.”
When she stood to go, I moved to get up as well, but she put her hand on my shoulder. “No, you stay here,” she said gently, “I feel like you need to make peace with yourself before you can move forward with Hannah.”
I smiled in spite of myself. “Thanks, Angie. You really do live up to your soul.”
She grinned. “If only I could find myself a guy who’d agree with you.”
Finding myself alone, I sat silently and just listened to the wind. I could hear Hannah’s forced laughter coming from the commons. The bell for fifth period would sound soon, which would signal the start to ceramics. That was one of Hannah’s favorite classes.
I needed to fix things with Hannah, but I had to give her time to adjust. That was the least I could do. As for making peace with myself, that was going to take some time. It hadn’t happened yet, and it would probably take another two hundred years at the rate I was going. There was no way it was going to happen overnight. I mentally made a promise to myself to try not to focus on it as much. Maybe Angie was right. Moving forward was the only way to make things better. All we were taught as Guards was to remember our place and how we’d gotten there. It was time for a change.
The bell rang and I headed inside to find Ethan standing there with my book bag and hoodie. He didn’t have much to say, but had a sour look on his face. “Your things.”
“Thanks.”
“She’s going to break you.”
“I know.”
We walked in silence after the short exchange. Ethan shook his head as he walked into the door next to mine. He had opted for photography instead of ceramics. Something told me that the Guardian who taught the class prompted the decision. Ethan was such a sucker. He stuck his head out for just a second as the bell sounded for class to start. “Just make sure she’s worth it, bro.”
* * *
I took my place across from Hannah at the table, but she didn’t look at me. Angie gave me a look of apology, then quickly shot a thumbs up of encouragement. I had to give it to her; the girl was dedicated. Talk to her, she mouthed. I nodded, annoyed. Of course I’d talk to her. It was just that I needed to think of something intelligent to say first.
“Levi, can you please pass the slip?” Hannah said in a short, no fuss manner. She held her hand out expectantly.
“Sure, no problem.”
She took the slip from me and began to score the handle onto the pot she was making. Hannah was gifted at the arts; give her any kind of medium and she would create worlds. It was amazing to witness. She noticed me watching. I probably looked like an idiot. She cocked her head and gave me a small smile that looked a little forced. “Do you need something?”
“Uh, no. Sorry.”
Angie let out a sigh of exasperation. “Uh, yeah you do. You need to talk to her.”
Hannah turned scarlet. “Angie, no he doesn’t. Don’t forget that we’re the only ones in this room that can see him.”
“Actually,” I said, “Everyone can see me. I choose when to be visible. Obviously coming to school made it necessary. The photography teacher is a Guardian. We’re all around you, we just don’t let it be known.”
Hannah opened and closed her mouth, frustrated by the information. “Well, whatever. Still,” she said, looking only at Angie. “Levi isn’t real.”
Angie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, he is. Or did you forget he saved you like a million times in the past week? A fake person can’t do that.”
Hannah ignored Angie and opted to score her pot with a little more force than needed. The gouges were deep and unnecessary. I took her hand and stopped her before she could ruin the piece. “This is beautiful, Hannah. Don’t ruin it over something silly.”
Her eyes stared into mine. “Are you talking about the pot?”
Angie shook her head, apparently fed up with Hannah. “I don’t think he’s talking about the pot, the sky, or unicorns. He’s talking about you two, you dummy. And he’s right.”
In all actuality, I had been talking about the pot. Leave it to a girl to come up with something romantic out of nothing. If Hannah took it, though, I’d roll with it.
Hannah’s eyes misted with tears. She pulled her hand away from mine, but only to sit the scoring tool down. She rubbed her hands against her thighs, trying to clean them. She never looked up, but finally spoke after about five minutes of trying to start a fire with her hands. “Fine. I’ll talk to you after school. You know where to find me.”
“Good. Thanks,” was all I could say.
Angie grinned, obviously proud of herself. She was currently strutting aro
und the room gathering tools like a pigeon. She was a different girl, but I was glad she was on my team. I couldn’t imagine the terror she’d be if she were against me. Ethan had a long road ahead to win her over at this point.
Hannah looked at me seriously. “Don’t make me regret this.”
I nodded solemnly. “You won’t.”
* * *
At the end of the day, I walked Hannah to Angie’s car. Angie was already there with the engine on, ready to go. Hannah allowed me to hold her hand, which I was thankful for. When we reached the car, she smiled reluctantly. “This doesn’t mean anything changes, Levi. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I admitted. “I just think if you give me the chance to explain, you’ll understand.”
“I hope so.”
Justin stood across the lot, watching Hannah intently. It didn’t go unnoticed, as Hannah shifted awkwardly when she caught his gaze and turned her back on him. It bothered me more than it should that he was still prowling around her. “All you need to do is give me the word,” I said.
“No, it’s fine,” Hannah said, quicker than I would have expected. “Look, just come over around four or so. I’ll leave the window open.”
“Am I not allowed to come over like a normal guy would?”
Hannah avoided the question. “You’re not a normal guy, are you?”
There was an obvious coolness in her voice, but I understood why it was there. I nodded. “You’re right, and I’m sorry. I wish that weren’t the case.”
She readjusted the book bag on her shoulder. I took it from her and held it. Her eyes were glued to the blacktop, now feigning interest in the orange leaf plastered to the ground. “Hannah, listen. You mean more to me than you could ever imagine. I would do anything for you. You know that, right?”
I put my hand under her chin and gently pulled her eyes to mine. “I would do anything for you,” I repeated, then took her into an embrace. She didn’t fight it. Instead, she burrowed her head into my shoulder and I felt her tears soak through my t-shirt.
“Oh, Levi! There you are!”
Hannah pulled away to look for the source of the voice. Unfortunately, it wasn’t hard to find.
Reina had pulled up in a candy apple red Corvette Stingray. She hadn’t gone unnoticed by every other male in the school population, that was for sure. Whether it was because of the car or her was left to assumption. My money was most of the gazes were because of her. She smiled her million-dollar smile, jumped out of the car without opening the door, and left the engine purring. “I’ve been looking for you. I found a place for us nearby. It’ll be great. You’ll finally have a place and I can show you the ropes,” she said warmly. Maybe a little too warmly for my tastes.
It was evident that Hannah heard the warmth in her voice as well. I could heart her heart stutter and her breathing change. There was a hiccup in it, which I knew Reina had to hear as well. Reina’s smiled broadened, but opened her arms to give Hannah a hug. “Hannah! How are you feeling? I hope things are healing up for you. Levi and I will be busy later, so if you need anything, let Ethan know and he’ll know where to find us.”
Hannah looked pleadingly at me, confused from Reina’s talk. I opened my mouth to speak, but Reina once again took over the conversation. “I’ll be teaching Levi a lot of things in the next week or so,” she continued, eyeing me like a piece of meat. “So don’t worry if he’s a bit preoccupied.” She put her hand on my shoulder, then rested her chin on the other one. “He’ll have loads to think about.”
Angie finally shut the engine off and got out of the car to join the conversation. “What’s the hold up? I thought you were going to talk to Levi in a little bit?”
“No, it looks like there’s been a change of plans,” Hannah said coldly. “He apparently has plans with Reina tonight he didn’t mention.”
Angie’s wide, accusatory eyes bore holes into me. There was no way I could refute that without making Reina mad, and I needed her on my side if she was going to help me figure out how to protect Hannah. It didn’t seem like there was going to be much love lost between the girls though, and if I had to pick one, it would be Hannah every time.
If only I knew how to do that without getting us both killed in the process.
* * *
The silence in the car was deafening as Reina sped away from the high school. The wind whipped at my face. I was still getting used to feeling things like my skin stinging as the misty raindrops pelted against my face.
“Is there a reason you have the top down on such a crummy day?”
Reina laughed. “It’s just a car, Levi. They come and go.”
“This is a classic.”
“And so it can be restored. Just like you’re becoming a Guardian.”
I sat in silence the rest of the way. Any references to my “restoration” made me ill, especially coming from her after the display she’d just put on in front of Hannah. What was she playing at, anyway? It bothered me, and I finally called her on it. “What were you trying to do back there? You really hurt Hannah.”
Reina kept her eyes on the road, but her eyebrows shot upward. “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean. You’ve never acted like that before.”
She sighed. “I just thought maybe Hannah would respond to some friendly competition. Sometimes human girls don’t miss something until it’s gone. I was trying to help.”
“You told me a few days ago you were waiting on me to get over her.”
I could see her fighting to keep a grin off her face. She laughed in spite of herself. “You really think I wouldn’t be able to have you if I wanted you? Levi, if I wanted to be with you, it would happen. I don’t take no for an answer.”
“Overconfident much?”
“No, just well versed in what it takes to make a guy interested.”
I rolled my eyes. “So you aren’t interested in me?”
“I never said that, I’m just not interested enough to move in for the kill,” she teased. “Sometimes I like to watch and learn beforehand for a while.”
There wasn’t much to say to that, and Reina was a little scary to say the least. I left it alone and went back to riding in silence, all the while trying to wrap my head around what she’d said.
We reached the outskirts of the little town and came upon a red farmhouse, complete with a barn. She pulled into the gravel driveway and stretched out her arms. “Welcome home.”
It wasn’t a bad looking place. The front deck was concrete and had a swing hanging from the ceiling. It was two stories and the open windows gave way to a warm, inviting scent. The thing was, it looked like my house that I had lived in with my mother and father.
It made me ill.
Reina noticed my trepidation. “What’s wrong? I thought you’d like it better than that double wide.”
“This looks just like – ”
“Your old house. I know. I wanted to make sure you felt at home – felt human. We Guardians like to empathize with our Calls, something that might be new to you,” her smile was warm and it reached her core.
She was genuinely trying to make things better. She wanted me to be happy, I could tell. There was no way to tell her how much disgust I still held for the house I grew up in as a human. A forced smile inched its way across my face, and I made sure it was believable. “Yeah, it’s great. Thanks, Reina.”
I grabbed my bag from the back and edged my way out of the convertible. “Look, I really need to talk to Hannah. You understand, right? I need to explain things and she was willing to talk to me today. I don’t want to mess that up.”
Reina nodded. “That’s fine. Good luck with Hannah. I’ll see you a little later then?”
“Sure,” was all I managed before sprinting out of there and back toward town.
I made it to Hannah’s in ten minutes. Just as I mentioned to Hannah earlier, I rang the doorbell and waited expectantly like any normal guy would. Hannah’s father answered the door. His smile was
warm and he extended his hand to shake mine. “Hey there, Levi. I was wondering if we’d scared you off on game night.”
“No, Sir, you didn’t, it’s just been a pretty busy week.”
“Yes, I’m sure. Hannah is upstairs studying with a friend, but let me tell her you’re here.”
An uneasy feeling settled into the pit of my stomach. Who was over? I’m sure he would have said it was Angie if it were her. “Okay, thank you, Sir.”
He was gone for a moment, but then I heard movement on the stairs. Mr. Gordon rounded the corner with Hannah and Justin in tow. Hannah looked embarrassed, Justin triumphant. A smug grin was plastered all over his face. It was all that I could do to not smack it right off his face. Hannah didn’t like him, she’d told him that before anything had happened between us. What was this?
“I didn’t think you were coming over, Levi,” Hannah mumbled lamely, looking anywhere but at me.
Mr. Gordon looked at me apologetically, then addressed Hannah. It didn’t seem like he was overly excited about Justin, either. He nudged Hannah’s shoulder, and a small smile played across his face. “I told her you’d come around again, didn’t I, Hannah?”
Justin shifted uncomfortably, becoming aware that no one really wanted him there. He coughed, then pulled his bag from the hook on the coat rack they were standing next to. “Uh, well, I’ll just see you at school tomorrow, okay? It was good to talk to you,” he added, throwing a wink my way. I was going to give him something to wink about if he wasn’t careful.
“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hannah said, blushing the whole time.
Justin let himself out of the house, leaving Mr. Gordon to stand between us. It was the most awkward moment I’d experienced in all the years I’d existed on this earth. I swayed on the spot, trying to find something to do with my hands. Hannah never looked up, but I looked at Mr. Gordon for permission to cross the room to his daughter. He nodded and I took that as a go-ahead. Two strides later I wrapped Hannah in my arms.