More Than My Words

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More Than My Words Page 11

by Ann Lister


  “I have a lot of scarring from the fire,” Mason typed quickly and his eyes began to sting with tears. Christ it hurt to admit this shit. It was hard enough finding someone he wanted to date, but having to expose the disfigurement of himself like this was pure hell. “It’s pretty gross and you might not want to see a photo of it, never mind seeing it in person.”

  Several seconds ticked by and each felt like a fucking hour when Tessler didn’t reply. Now came the part where Tessler let him down easy. Mason was sure of it. Tessler would find a way to politely back away, and Mason would either be dumped into the friend zone or . . . just plain dumped. Period. This seemed so unfair, but as the seconds continued to pass, what little hope he had for Tessler slipped away, too. He’d never felt this uneasy about his own damn body. For fuck’s sake, everything still worked!

  “No need to reply. Maybe I’ll catch you later,” Mason typed and hit send. Then he swore loudly and heard the word bounce around the room in a flat echo.

  He tossed his phone onto the couch beside him and let his head fall to the back of the couch. Damn it, this hurt, but feeling the sting now was a whole lot better than getting naked in bed with Tessler and feeling the humiliation then. He pushed to his feet and reached for his cane as his phone began to ring.

  “Do you really think I’m that fucking shallow to give a shit about some scarring?”

  It was Tessler’s smooth tenor voice coming through the phone, and it sounded like pure music to Mason’s ears. Again, he felt the burn of tears building in his eyes.

  “This is more than a little scarring,” Mason grumbled.

  “Whatever. I don’t care if you’re missing an entire leg,” Tessler said firmly. “None of us is perfect, Mason. We all have our flaws.”

  “That’s something people who aren’t scarred would say,” Mason replied.

  “I won’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, because I don’t, but please don’t assume I’d turn away from you because you have scars. Okay?”

  “I’m sorry,” Mason said. “I haven’t been with anyone since the fire, so I guess I’m feeling acutely aware and self-conscious of my appearance.”

  “Don’t apologize,” Tessler countered. “Would it make you feel better if I told you I had three nipples?”

  “Seriously?”

  “No, I only have two, but that’s how insignificant I feel your scars will be to me,” Tessler said. “You’re more than the scars you carry around, Mason. That’s just one small part of who you are, and I might be overstepping by even assuming I’ll ever have the opportunity to see you naked, so I’ll shut my mouth.”

  A pause fell between them but it didn’t feel awkward. It was just the opposite. Comfortable was the word that came to Mason’s mind and that made him smile. “It’s good to hear your voice, instead of texting,” he said softly.

  “You too,” Tessler agreed. “Are we good?”

  “Yeah, we’re good,” Mason said. “I’ve been working hard with BB at the gym, and I’ve also been seeing a . . . therapist about the other shit.”

  “Why’d you hesitate before you said therapist?” Tessler asked.

  “Because I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of nut job,” Mason remarked.

  “Seeing a therapist doesn’t make you crazy, Mason. It makes you stronger. I see one every now and then, too, as do most of the people I know.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Like I said earlier, we are all flawed,” Tessler explained. “The strong ones are those who try to get help to make their flaws less visible … and maybe hurt a little less, too.”

  “You’re absolutely right,” Mason agreed. “How did you get to be so smart at such a young age?”

  “You think I’m young?” Tessler asked.

  “I’m pretty sure you’re a lot younger than me.”

  “Don’t tell me that bothers you,” Tessler grumbled.

  “If you don’t have a problem with it, then I sure as hell don’t,” Mason added. Tessler became quiet after that, and Mason heard rustling from the other end of the phone. “What are you doing?”

  “Stepping back into my shorts,” he said and then chuckled. “I can see some people on the beach in the distance, and they’re walking this way. I didn’t want to freak them out if they saw a naked guy pacing back and forth on his deck.”

  “That actually sounds hot,” Mason commented and Tessler laughed, a nice sounding belly rumble that warmed Mason from the inside out. “Can I ask how old you actually are?”

  “You said it didn’t matter,” Tessler answered.

  “It doesn’t, but now I’m curious.”

  “I’ll be turning twenty-seven this month,” Tessler confessed.

  “This very month?” Mason asked.

  “Yeah, that’s why I go away now,” Tessler explained. “I get some rest, and I also celebrate my birthday, such as it is, and I’m able to do it in a gorgeous place.”

  “That sounds really nice,” Mason commented.

  “Did I pass your age limit?” Tessler teased.

  “I actually thought you were younger,” Mason stated. “So, it’s all good.”

  “Younger than twenty-six?” Tessler scoffed. “Jesus, I definitely don’t feel younger. I feel more like I’m in my fifties.”

  “You and me both,” Mason said and moaned.

  “How old are you?” Tessler asked.

  “Thirty-four,” Mason replied. “Are you okay with that?”

  “Completely. It’s just numbers to me and only relevant if you choose it to be.”

  Mason was smiling so broadly his face was beginning to ache. “Then, we can go ahead and give that date a try?”

  “I’m looking forward to it even more than I was before this phone call,” Tessler said.

  “Me too.”

  “We can set something up as soon as I get home,” Tessler suggested.

  “Do you know when that will be?”

  “Typically, I’m here for about a month, but I don’t think I’ll be staying that long this year,” Tessler answered.

  “Why’s that? Shitty weather in paradise?”

  “Nope, the weather is perfect, as always,” Tessler replied, “but there seems to be something missing.”

  “What could possibly be missing?” Mason questioned.

  “You.”

  “Me?”

  “You intrigue me, Mason, and I really want to get to know you better,” Tessler admitted. “I can’t exactly do that from three thousand miles away.”

  Mason’s chest felt tight from Tessler’s admission. Was it really possible Tessler was interested in him as much as he was in Tessler? Could he be that lucky? “We can talk on the phone or text.”

  “That’s not the same and it makes it difficult to … do other things with you, like kiss,” Tessler added.

  “Mmmm, I liked kissing you,” Mason sighed and his palm pressed against his hardening cock.

  “Likewise,” Tessler said. “You have no idea how many times I … ah, never mind. You don’t need to know about that.”

  “What? How many times you what?” Mason said and chuckled. He knew what Tessler was going to say, but he wondered if he actually would say what he wanted to hear.

  “That kiss wound me up like you wouldn’t believe,” Tessler continued. “Still does, even after all these days. Makes me hard when I think about it and I ... I want more. Do you blame me for that?”

  “I’m glad you want more,” Mason said. “Because when you get home I want to … devour your mouth again.”

  “Christ. I want you to devour my entire body.” Tessler’s voice was a scratchy hiss.

  “You’re making me really fucking hard—and horny,” Mason said.

  “Hard? I’ve had a piece of granite in my board shorts since I saw it was you texting me a while ago,” Tessler replied.

  The grin on Mason’s face wilted when he began to picture all the willing and able men who’d be happy to relieve Tessler of his pent-up sexual frustration. He wanted
it to be him who made Tessler come undone in his arms, or under him, or hell, even on top of him would be fine. As long as he was the one who put the lust in Tessler’s eyes and the mask of bliss on his face, he’d be a happy man. But like Tessler said, that would be difficult to achieve when there were so many miles separating them.

  “Well, I’m sure there are plenty of guys around to help you with that,” Mason remarked.

  “Are you jealous?”

  “Yeah, I guess I am. Even though I know I have no right to be,” Mason answered honestly.

  Tessler’s hearty chuckle came through the phone. “I like that you’re jealous, but I have no interest in hooking up with anyone right now—especially when I have you with me on the phone.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Are you at home?” Tessler asked.

  “Yeah, I’m sitting on the couch in my living room.”

  “Comfortable?”

  “I guess so, why? Are you going to suggest we jerk off over the phone?”

  “That is exactly what I wanna do,” Tessler said. “I have the twisted need to hear you come.”

  “Jesus, you are one kinky bastard,” Mason said.

  Tessler laughed again. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “Are you still out on your deck?” Mason asked.

  “I am, and I just kicked off my shorts again, so I’m bare-assed.”

  “What about the people walking by on the beach?” Mason questioned.

  “Don’t care about them,” Tessler replied. “The fact they might catch me stroking my cock only amps up my need.”

  “You like to be watched?” Mason asked in a shaky breath.

  “Depends on the audience.”

  Jesus, Mason had no clue what Tessler meant by that comment, but the images currently popping in his head sure as hell were turning him on. He eased his fingers beneath the waistband of his sweatpants and wrapped them around his cock. He felt it pulse in his grip and gave it a tight squeeze. His eyes closed and tried his damnedest to imagine Tessler sitting outside completely naked with his fist pumping his dick. Jesus, the visuals sparking inside his brain were making his balls ache.

  “Are you still with me, Mason?”

  “Yeah,” he answered in a strained tone.

  “Feels good to be talking while we do this, doesn’t it?” Tessler prodded. “Sort of like we’re together, but we’re not.”

  “I’d rather be with you,” Mason replied.

  “Me too, and hopefully that will happen soon.”

  Mason only managed a few soft moans as his response.

  “The noises you’re making right now have me really cranked up,” Tessler whispered. “I can hear your heavy breaths.”

  “Oh, goddddd,” Mason sighed.

  “You’re already close?” Tessler asked.

  “So close.”

  “I wish I could see your face right now with your eyes all blown with lust. I bet your cock is dripping like a faucet, too. Will you let me taste that?”

  “Jesus, Tess … fuckkkk.”

  The image of Tessler’s tongue circling the broad head of his cock was going to tip him over the edge. He could feel the pressure building in his balls as the first signs of what he knew would be the sweet bliss of orgasm began to make his skin bead with sweat. His balls drew up tight to his body as his fist pumped faster. Tessler’s words continued to swirl around inside his head, deliciously filthy words that were going to make him come so fucking hard. Two more swift strokes and the ropes of his release started splattering all over his chest and stomach. He opened his eyes to watch in utter fascination how the come shot from the tip of his cock with such force. The fact that Tessler could give him this kind of physical reaction from over the phone made him wonder what would happen if they were to be in the same room together.

  “Fuck, I’m coming, too,” Tessler announced. “Shit, that’s so good … so fucking good.”

  Mason listened quietly as Tessler’s breathing slowed. He milked the last drops of come from his cock and shivered through the aftershocks while he waited for Tessler to say something.

  “You okay?” Tessler finally asked.

  “Much better,” Mason answered.

  “Yeah, me too,” Tessler said and chuckled. “The mess I made was totally worth it.”

  “I could certainly use a shower, that’s for sure,” Mason said and laughed.

  “A shower and a nap.”

  “Maybe not in that order,” Mason said and yawned.

  “Can I call you again sometime?” Tessler asked.

  “Of course.”

  “Okay, then I’ll talk to you soon,” Tessler said and ended the call.

  Mason set his phone down beside him on the couch and tipped his head back to rest. Jesus, he felt good, and not just because of the intense orgasm he’d just spewed all over his chest. Tessler made him feel good about himself, and simply, about life in general. For a guy who came across as being so closed off when they’d first met, Mason couldn’t believe Tessler was as open as he was with him now.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Tessler called him several times over the next few days, and they’d even done a repeat of the phone jerk session, too. The conversation they were having now was coming up on the two hour mark, and neither of them showed signs of wanting to hang up. Mason had stretched out on the couch, but moved to his bed to get more comfortable. The process of getting to know Tessler was slow, and he also sensed there was a lot the man was still holding back. Mason could tell by the careful choice of words he’d use when he spoke about himself. It made him wonder if he’d ever fully know Tessler at all.

  “So, you said you have a sister?” Mason asked.

  “Yeah, she’s five years older and never lets me forget about that,” Tessler explained. “She still refers to me as her baby brother, and I call her my evil twin for reasons that make total sense to me and no one else.”

  Mason laughed. “I hear you on that,” he said. “I had two older brothers, and they loved rubbing it in my face that I was the baby of the family. I think I had a permanent wedgie for a solid decade.”

  “Had two brothers?”

  “My oldest brother died in combat over in Afghanistan,” Mason revealed in a somber voice. “He’s the reason I became a Marine.”

  “Fuck, I’m sorry to hear about your brother,” Tessler said softly.

  Mason closed his eyes when he felt the familiar sting of grief in them from the memory. He rolled onto his side and settled his head in between two big pillows. “I miss him, but I know he was doing what he loved,” Mason mumbled. “I can’t be angry at him for that like my other brother is.”

  “Is he also a Marine?”

  “No, he’s a chef at one of those trendy, upscale restaurants in LA,” Mason answered. “You know, the pretentious kind of snobbish eatery that has a two year waiting list for a reservation, and you have to show your financial portfolio in order to be allowed in the front door?”

  “I’ve heard of places like that, but I can’t say that I’ve ever been a fan,” Tessler admitted.

  “That makes two of us, and it’s why I’ve never eaten there,” Mason countered.

  “I like cooking at home,” Tessler stated.

  “Are you any good?”

  “You’ll have to find out,” Tessler said and chuckled. “I have a patio area on the roof of my building. How about I cook you dinner when I get home, and we’ll eat up there?”

  That was probably the sexiest invitation he’d ever received, and yet the first thought that jumped into Mason’s head was if he’d be able to access the roof with his bum leg. When did my life become this?

  “Does the elevator go all the way up?” Mason asked and nearly choked on the words.

  “It sure does,” Tessler replied, “and if it didn’t, I’d carry you up on my back to get you there. The view from the roof is that good.”

  Mason tossed the idea around in his head for a bit, but too much time must have passed becaus
e Tessler was already using his words to try and convince him to join him for dinner—as if that was necessary.

  “I’ll prepare something simple, and we’ll hang out up there and have a few beers,” Tessler said. “I have a nice stone fire pit to keep us warm and some comfortable furniture to sit around in front of it.”

  What about a bed? Jesus, did I say that out loud?

  “Sounds like the perfect date,” Mason finally said.

  “I like that idea, too,” Tessler added. “We can eat and enjoy the evening by the fire and not feel rushed out of a restaurant because they need the table.”

  “Can we also make out like horny fifteen-year-olds?” Mason dared himself to ask.

  “I sure as hell hope so.” Tessler laughed then added, “Aaand now my dick is hard again.”

  Mason laughed, too. Everything with Tessler felt so damn easy. “I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Agreed,” Tessler sighed. “I’ll let you know when I’m on my way home.”

  “Soon, I hope,” Mason added, partially as a joke, but deep down he meant it.

  “Not soon enough.”

  Mason began doubling his efforts at the gym with BB in the mornings, and then he’d squeeze in another work out at night in his apartment after he got home from working at the Ventura Security office. By the time he fell into bed at the end of the day, he was already half asleep. He had a very specific goal in mind, and he wasn’t going to stop until he achieved it, no matter what.

  “You’re pushing yourself too hard,” BB stated and took the weights from Mason’s hands.

  “I’m doing fine,” Mason argued.

  “I told you in the beginning, I would not tolerate an overachiever,” BB said using firm words. “I will not let you jeopardize the progress you’ve made by tearing a muscle—or worse.”

  Mason reached for another set of weights. “One more rep,” he said.

  BB stopped Mason’s progression to the weights on the cart and grasped the front of his sweaty tank top, then hauled him up off the bench. “Come with me,” he ordered. He pulled Mason down the hall towards the private therapy rooms and shoved him into the first empty one he came to. “Get up on the table,” BB barked. “You’re doing a cool down and then hitting the showers. Do you hear me? You’re done for today.”

 

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