We sit in silence, both of us not knowing what to say or do.
“Maybe tomorrow we can take a ride to the bank, ma’am, I would like to read that letter.”
“Of course, and when Jax gets back, I will sit him and Isabella down and tell them the whole story.”
I silently nod, not really knowing what else to say.
“Maxwell, I can only hope in time you will forgive me. I hope that by telling you this story, you will understand why you can’t leave. Whether you like it or not, we are all family. “I’ll leave you alone now.”
I stay lost in my silence, soaking in all of this information, not realizing she’s left until I hear a door shut.
MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL IS fast asleep. It gives me a chance to do some research on Jackie’s father. Wow, she wasn’t kidding. This man is very influential. He holds a lot of power within the Japanese and Swiss governments. He’s also very well insulated with security, which is a good thing. This is going to be a very emotional trip. I wish Max was here with me. I better check in with mum to see what’s going on there.
“Hey, Mum, how’s Max doing?”
“Well, he’s not happy that I am sitting guard by the elevator, if that’s what you mean.”
I laugh at the thought. “Mum, of course I knew he would be mad, but how is he doing besides that?”
She sighs, “He’s hurting, son, for many reasons. He needs us around him, now more than ever. You need to get through to Jackie and make her fight for him. I know she’s hurt too, but she has no idea what this man has been through. It’s his story to tell her, not yours, but she needs to be here.”
“I get it, Mum, keep my mouth shut, but get her to come back with us. Just wish things would be easy for a change.”
She laughs, “If it were easy, son, then it would not be worth fighting for. We will get to the other side of this, like everything else.”
“Okay, I need to wake Raven up; we’re getting ready to land. I will talk to you later, love you.”
“I love you too, be careful.”
I hang up and stare out at nothing, “When did life get so complicated?”
“Jax, your life got complicated the day you met me.”
I jump up, “I didn’t realize I said that out loud.”
She strokes my face. “It’s the truth, Jax. I understand your frustration and fear of the unknown. I feel it too, but all we can do is hang tough and lean on each other. Our love will get us through this, I honestly believe that.
I open my arms and she jumps into them, I’m holding her so tightly, that I’m afraid she won’t be able to breath. “Raven, I need to speak to you about Max and Jackie.”
She takes a deep breath, “Okay.”
“I know why Max pushed Jackie away, but I can’t tell you. It’s Max’s story. He needs Jackie, though, I know he does. But he needs to be the one to tell her why he pushed her away. I just don’t know how to make it happen without revealing the things that should be told by him.”
“Jax, I knew when you put your mom on as a watch dog that it was to make sure that Max didn’t pull a runner. I also know that you are very worried and upset by all of this. I understand you can’t tell me; I would never ask you to betray a confidence. Let me ask you this, with all your heart, do you believe Max and Jackie are better together or apart?”
I stroke my fingers up and down her back. The constant touch is comforting. “Together.”
“Why?”
“I don’t even have to think twice about it, Raven. Jackie got through walls in a matter of months, that I couldn’t in eight years. She loves him for him, and not for what he could give her. She has brought my best friend back to life. His heart has been shut off since the very first day I met him, but with her, I have seen him come alive. I have seen him smile like he meant it, not because he had to. When I went to see him yesterday, it was the old Max, again—stone cold with dead eyes. It’s not that I don’t want that Max, I just want Max to be happy. Does that make sense?”
She kisses me, trying to sooth me. “Yes, baby, it does. I don’t need to know what was said between you and Max. I will work on, Jackie. There is no way I’m going to let her give up without the fight of a lifetime. It’s just not in me to see her give up, and I know it’s not in her.”
I love this girl with all my soul. “Okay, this is just another reason why I love you. We need to get back to our seats, we should be landing soon. We are going to check into our hotel first, and then I will check on your mum to see if she is up to visitors today.”
“Thank you, Jax.” She gives me another soft kiss.
“Sweetheart, you never have to thank me for letting me love and take care of you. It’s my life’s mission.”
I’M STUNNED BY THE story that An has told me. Not only that she knew my grams, but the fact that Jax and Bella are my siblings. I knew that I probably had other siblings out there, but never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be Jax and Bella. We are tied together for life. Not just by friendship, but by blood. How could I leave now? When the one thing I always wanted is right before me—family. After I had Elliot, I thought about looking for my father and possibly, any other siblings. But when he and Samantha were murdered, I died that day, too, so why bother. I can’t believe my grams kept this a secret from me. An should be here any minute to go to the bank with me. I don’t know how I can look at her and not feel betrayed; she knew all this time.
SHE MEETS ME BY the elevator and we silently head to the car. The ride to the bank is long and quite. Both of us, staring out the window. I finally have to ask her, “Why?”
“Why, what, Maxwell?”
I don’t want to get mad, but I don’t understand. “Why keep this secret for so long?”
She turns her gaze towards me. “Perhaps you will understand more after you read the letter.”
I snap back at her, “Do you really think being cryptic with me now is the way to go?”
“What I think is neither here nor there, it is what your grams wanted. I don’t know what’s in the letter, all I know is, I made a promise to your grams. In the end, Maxwell, the only thing we have, of any value, is our word. If I didn’t keep my promise, then I would be no better than your father. You need to try and understand, I had to respect your grams wishes. I had to do what she felt was best for you, not me. She never wanted you to be tainted by the actions of your father.”
We go into the bank and An retrieves the letter. She hands it to me, and then starts to step outside the room, but I stop her. “I would rather we went back home before I read this.” She nods and we leave.
The ride is silent for both of us, and that’s okay. Right now, I don’t think I could handle much more. We step out of the elevator and she takes my hand. “Maxwell, I will be next door if you decide you would like to talk.”
All I can do is nod and head into my place. I sit by the fire for a long time with a glass of scotch and the letter, trying to get the nerve up to read it. After I finish my drink, I open envelope:
My Dearest Maxwell,
If you are reading this, then An must have told you everything. You are probably wondering why I never told you about your family. I wanted to, especially, right after Samantha and Elliot were murdered, but you were in such a bad way that I thought one more betrayal would put you over the edge.
Your mum was a dreamer. She was beautiful and naïve, believing in her husband. James Phillips was a very good-looking charmer. Right before An came to look for her husband, James confessed everything to your mum. He told her all about his other family. Your mum’s heart was broken, and she felt like such a fool. An is a very strong women who was able to pick up the pieces; your mum was not. She was young, so she brought you to me to take care of. She knew that I would love you with all of my heart. I blame myself for not realizing right then, why she brought you to me. She went home that day and killed herself. I tried to get in touch with your father, but I could not find him. It was at that point, I decided to change your name to
Fleming, and erase all presence of Phillips from our lives. You need to understand, that man took away my only child, so I decided I would never let him near you, again. If he wanted to, he could have easily found us, but he never did. Right there, that should tell you the type of man he was. He never contacted An, either, which was probably for the best.
Don’t blame An for your mum’s death. I know she blames herself, but she came, in good faith, looking for a man that she knew as her husband. Unfortunately she was not his only wife. Your mum was not strong enough, and the betrayal is what killed her.
A few months passed, and An came to me offering to raise you with her children as one of her own. An is a tough woman, and even fiercer when it comes to her children. I knew that she would love you like her own; that was never a question. I really considered it, however, I needed you close to me. As selfish as that may sound, I just couldn’t do it. The pain was too raw for me. I couldn’t suffer another loss. You blossomed into such a wonderful man—a man I was so proud of. You met your beautiful Samantha, and then you gave me the greatest gift of all—my great grandson, Elliot. I thought life had come full circle. I wanted for nothing, until the world came crashing in around us. After that horrible day, I felt like I lost my child all over again. I realized that I needed to put my selfishness aside. I was ready to have An come, and we would tell you everything, but then, you joined the Special Forces. I really thought this would help you, until I realized you were taking ridiculous chances with your life!
Once again, I called An and we came up with a plan. She was worried about Jaxson, seems he was taking all kinds of risks when it came to business and women. An wanted him reeled in, so we set up a chance meeting that night. I knew you would never stand by and let someone be taken advantage of.
Please don’t be mad at An, she was following my request to keep this secret. I told her she would know when to tell you the truth. Maybe I was wrong to keep this from you, but I didn’t want you to blame Jax and Isabella for your mum’s death. They’re just as much the victim, in all of this, as you are. I hope that you will one day find love again. You have so much to offer someone, if you would just open your heart and get out of your own head. Life is too short, Maxwell, as you well know, so if you find that special someone, grab onto her and love her with all your might.
I love you so much, and I found peace in knowing that you will never be alone, again. I hope you can find that peace, too.
Love you,
Grams
I stare at this letter, trying so hard to wrap my mind around all of this. I understand what my grams was doing and why, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. The man I am today wouldn’t blame anyone for my mum’s death, but in my youth, I really couldn’t say. I know I was bitter for a long time, that was until Samantha and Elliott came into my life. Having my own family helped me find some peace and stability in life. When they were murdered, I felt my heart turn to stone. I existed . . . one day leading into the next. Nothing ever really mattered, except keeping everyone safe. Then Jackie blew into my world, and everything has been turned upside down.
As I head next door, I see An sitting in a chair by the elevator and I have to laugh.
“Are you really sitting there, trying to hold me hostage?”
She nods, “Well, Maxwell, I’m trying to make sure you won’t pull a ‘runner’ as Jaxson calls it. I’m also trying to make sure you are not doing anything stupid before you’re one-hundred percent healed.”
I smile at her. “You must be uncomfortable, sitting in that hard chair. Why not come in and we will have some afternoon tea.”
“So you don’t hate me, Maxwell?” her voice shakes.
I throw my arms around her, surprising us both. “I could never hate someone who would move heaven and earth to protect their loved ones. Come inside and make me some tea, I think we need to talk.”
She reaches up and yanks my ear! “Ouch, what was that for?”
She laughs, “Manors young man—please,” she emphasizes.
As we walk inside, I look at her and realize she has always been there. She’s been like a mum to me no matter what. I sit at the table and watch her putting together the tea and Jammie Dodgers. I realize I could never walk away from this, the thing I treasure most—family.
I have so many questions for her, but I need to take it slow. “I know you said you were going to tell Jax when he got back, but what about Bella? Have you decided when you are going to tell her?”
She takes a deep breath. “Well, Maxwell, you tell me what would make you feel the most comfortable? I can tell them together or separately, the choice is yours.”
I smile trying to make her feel more at ease. “I have waited this long for a family, I can wait a little longer. Tell them together, so they have each other for support.”
She hugs me, “It will be no big deal to them because they already consider you their brother. I think it was a bigger deal for you. I think that might be what your grams was worried about.”
I know she thinks it’s no big deal, but I’m still worried. “Ma’am, it will probably be no big deal to Jax, but I worry about Bella.”
She laughs, “Don’t worry about her, she will be happy to have someone that she thinks she can pit against Jax! Maxwell, why are you pushing Jackie away? I know you love her, and I know you’re scared, but let me ask you this, do you think it is fair to her? She is paying the price for a lost love.”
I feel my heart tighten in my chest. “I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. I don’t know how she did it, but she broke through without even trying. She weaved herself into my soul. What if something was to happen to her because of me? Look at that night, when Vincent’s people tried to get to her. That night, as I was racing to her flat, I saw Samantha and Elliot—dead—all over again. I love her enough to want her safe and happy. And if it means that I have to let her go, then I’m prepared to do that. This whole mess put a huge target on her back, and I don’t think I can live with that. I need to let her go.”
“What if she’s not prepared to let you go, have you thought of that?”
I need to change the subject fast. “Ma’am, why did you never get married again, have you thought about that?”
She glares at me. “Maxwell, I’m a very strong person, and you will not push me away, so if that’s what you’re trying to do, you should just forget it. Now to answer your question, I made my children my life. I experienced love, or at least what I thought was love. I never wanted to put myself in a position to get hurt or fail again. You know the saying, ‘hind sight is always twenty-twenty’? Well looking back, I could have found a man, and have gotten married, if I really wanted to. Life would have been easier for me, but I wanted more.”
I stare at her, totally confused. “What did you want, ma’am, that you don’t have now?”
“A man who would love and respect me for who I am now, and the choices that I have made. I want to experience true love. I’ve never closed myself off from that possibility, can you say the same thing?”
I stare into my tea, saying nothing.
“Maxwell, I’m going to go back next door, but before I leave, I would like to ask you something.”
I’m thinking this is a first, both her and Jax just say whatever the hell they want, whenever they want.
“I know that you had a mum that loved you very much. I would never impose upon that, but I have loved you like I love Jaxson and Isabella for your whole life. I have watched you grow into the man that you are today. A man I respect, a man I’m so very proud of. Your grams and I exchanged letters and pictures throughout your lives. I only hope one day, you will feel comfortable enough to call me something other than, ma’am.”
With that, she leans in, kisses my forehead, gets up, and leaves. I’m on overload today. I just don’t know how much more I can take. I love Jackie but what do I do about it? Can I really have someone in my life that won’t leave or be cruelly taken away from me? Her safety is priority number one for
me, and right now, I’m not one-hundred percent. It’s time I make some phone calls, starting with Tony.
WE LAND AND THEN get settled into our hotel. I know Raven is scared and I know, if it were me, I would be too, but there is nothing I can do to make this any easier.
“Raven, I spoke with the doctors. They said Gabriella is having a good day, so we will be going after lunch. It’s okay to be scared and nervous, but I will be there with you every step of the way—no matter what. You need to prepare yourself that she might not even know who you are.”
I see her eyes fill with tears. “Jax, what if she hates me? What if she sees me and is reminded of all the pain and loss in her life?”
I pull her close to me. “I don’t think that will happen, but however she reacts, we will deal with it together. No matter what.”
“Jax, did I tell you today that I love you?” She kisses me softly.
Those words make me smile, “Yes, but feel free to tell me as much as you want.”
I lift her into my arms and nibble on her ear. I start to work my way down her neck when my watch alarm goes off. Oh fuck, she’s going to pitch a fit now. As I stop, she looks at me.
“Jax, don’t you dare, not now!”
I know she is going to flip out. “Sorry, sweetheart, you need to eat. Besides, the baby is up now.”
“What makes you think the baby is not sleeping, Jax?”
“Well, if it’s time to eat, the baby can’t possibly be sleeping.” I smirk.
Darkness into Dawn (The Unraveled Trilogy Book 2) Page 7