“I wish I had as much faith as you do. Come, the doctor is probably here.”
We get downstairs and I find my mom and Dr. Leanne, deep in conversation. My mom seems to be at ease with everyone she meets. I’m surprised how comfortable she is with other people since she was alone for twenty years. I think therapy is helping. Dr. Leanne pulls me away for a quick chat.
“Raven, I would like to give you another exam before you leave. I will be making periodic trips to the island to keep a check on you.”
“I’m feeling good, except for a nagging headache.”
“Your blood pressure was up the other day. I know you’re under a lot of stress right now. When you get to the island, I would like the nurse to monitor your blood pressure daily. She can report back to me. Are you okay with that?”
“That’s fine. Where is Jackie?”
“She went next door with Mr. Fleming; the doctor is here to see him.”
“Dr. Leanne, I don’t mean to be rude, but if we’re done, I really need to get next door.”
“Go, Raven, it’s fine.”
Jax is talking to Mick and Sammy, but his eyes are never far from me. I head next door to talk to Max’s doctor. I don’t have to turn around; I know Jax is right behind me.
“WHAT’S GOING ON, SWEETHEART?”
“Jax, I want to talk to Max’s doctor myself. I’m not about to let Max sugar coat anything.”
Right about now, I should probably feel sorry for Max. Raven has fire in her eyes, and for once, I’m not on the receiving end. Maybe he’ll learn a bloody lesson.
“Hello, Dr. Steven, I’m Raven Phillips, we’ve met before. I want to know what is going on with, Max?”
“Well, that would be up to Max to share, not me.”
“Well, Dr. Steven, if Max could be trusted not to hide when he’s not feeling well, we wouldn’t be having this conversation!”
“Raven, Dr. Steven, thinks it’s scar tissue. However, he is going to run a few tests today just as a precaution. I promise you that’s all there is to report.”
“How soon will the results be in from the tests?”
“I will have them to Mr. Fleming later today.”
“Okay, fine. We’ll wait. Jackie and I will be upstairs. I’m sure you and Jax have plenty to go over.”
I practically drag Jackie upstairs. I know something’s not right with her; I can sense it. “What’s wrong? I know when something is up with you, so spill—right now.” She looks at me and begins to cry a full-blown, ugly-ass cry. “Oh my God, Jackie, what is it? Nothing is so bad that we can’t fix it.”
“Dr. Leanne said there is no guarantee that the morning after pill will work. She said many women still end up pregnant.”
Okay, that’s not what I was expecting to hear. “What did Max say?”
“That’s just it, Raven, he said nothing—not one word! I can’t start birth control until I know for sure. It’s too soon to tell, yet. So, now, we wait. I’m not ready to be a mom. I might never be ready. What will my parents say . . . my brother, after he practically accused me of getting knocked up.”
I pull her into my arms and let her have a good cry, rocking her and stroking her back. Jax comes upstairs. I lift my gaze to him and shake my head. Thank God, he gets it and backs away, giving us the space we need right now.
“Jackie, first, stop worrying about what everyone else will think, and worry about yourself. Secondly, maybe you need to talk to Max, find out what he’s thinking. When is the earliest you can take a pregnancy test?”
“I can take the test the end of next week. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Max because Doctor Steven was waiting for us.”
“When Max gets back from taking the tests, I think the two of you need to sit down privately, discuss your feelings, and all of your options. Don’t jump to conclusions.”
“Okay. I think I’m going to lie down for a bit, my head is spinning from all of this.”
As we head downstairs, I pray this works out for both of them.
I LEAVE JACKIE TO her nap and go next door to find Jax. I really want to be alone with my husband, but when I enter our flat I see it’s filled with people. Everyone, that is, except for my husband. I find my mom. “Mom, where is Jax?”
“He went with Max to get some tests run. I made you lunch, come sit down, please.”
“Well, whatever it is, it smells wonderful.”
“I made salmon broiled with a mustard glaze and a salad. I know Jackie doesn’t eat meat, and I wanted to make sure I had something to her liking.”
I’m shocked how she can whip this stuff up. I’m lucky if I can make a sandwich. I’m starving, and before I realize it, I’ve cleaned my plate. Too bad Jax isn’t here to see it. I decide to take a picture and text it to him:
‘I cleaned my plate and thought this would make you smile. I miss you.’
XO ~ Always
My phone immediately beeps:
‘Sweetheart, You were right! I miss you, too. How is Jackie?’
XO ~ More.
‘She’s trying to keep it together. How’s Max?’
XO ~ More? I don’t think so!
‘He’s not saying much. He told me what Dr. Leanne said, that’s all. Is anyone there, yet?’
XO ~ Oh I know so.
‘Yes, everyone is here and your mom is worried. You better warn Max. How much longer do you think you will be?’
XO ~ I need you.
‘We’re done here, I’m on my way, sweetheart.’
XO ~ Happy Place here I come! :)
DRIVING BACK, MAX SEEMS lost in his own head. I’ve never seen him this bad, not even when he sent Jackie away. “Max, if I’m going to be able to help you, then you need to talk to me.” I say then set my eyes on the rearview mirror to talk to Mick. “Mick, keep driving around the park until I tell you, thanks.” I raise the privacy glass. “Well, talk to me, damn it! I know it’s more than just the condom breaking. If she’s pregnant, would it really be such a bad thing?”
“It is if she decides she wants to terminate it.”
I freeze, “Do you think she would? It doesn’t seem like something she would do.”
His hands are fisted and his jaw is ticking. “Ultimately, it’s her body and her decision, but it would be the final nail in my coffin.”
“Well, then we just have to make her see the light.”
“I can’t bully her, Jax.”
“Did you talk to her about how you feel? I know it’s her body, but she needs to understand what you’re feeling, too. This is a two-way street, you both took a dip in that pool and you’re both responsible.”
“I never got a chance, we had to leave to take these bloody tests.”
“Raven texted. She said everyone is already at the flat. When we get upstairs, you head into your flat. I’ll get Jackie in there and divert everyone’s attention away from you. It will be okay, Max, I’m sure it was a shock for her.”
I let Mick know to head back as we sit there in silence, both of us trying to deal with everything being thrown at us.
WE ARRIVE BACK AT The Tower and the elevator ride up seems to take forever. The doors finally open, and any chance of getting Max out of there quickly is gone. My mum is all over him.
“Maxwell, when were you going to tell me about the headaches?”
“Please don’t worry, Dr. Steven ran tests and said its scar tissue.”
“You still should have told me. Will you ever learn, Maxwell?”
“Where is she?” Max says under his breath when he pulls me to the side.
“Rose said Raven took her into your flat. Go, I got this.”
“Mum, Max needs to rest and I need to go over some stuff with you and Bella; come.”
Jax steers her away as I make a quick exit. I race inside and find her asleep on the sofa. Raven is sitting in the chair next to her, making sure she is there for her when she wakes.
“Max, she just fell asleep. Give her some time to come to terms with everything, besides we really don’t kno
w anything yet. What did Dr. Steven’s tests show?”
“It’s scar tissue, and this is as bad as it should get. Hopefully, with reduced stress the headaches will diminish.”
“Good, I’m glad that’s all it is. I’ll leave you alone, but if you need anything, come get me.” She gets up and gives me a warm smile before heading out.
I sit on the chair across from my sleeping angel. I know I’m only going to get one shot at this. I have to be honest with her. I need her to realize that my heart is in her hands. From this point forward, all that I will ever be is up to her. She can make or break me. I need to do all of this without scaring or bullying her. Her eyes are starting to flutter open; its time for my A game.
“Max, what happened with the tests?”
“Scar tissue, nothing more.”
“What time are we leaving for the island?”
“We are not going anywhere until you and I get some things settled.”
“Max, I’m on overload right now. I really don’t want to deal with any of this.”
I have to calm myself down or I will flip out. “You don’t want to deal with this!” Maybe yelling is not my A game.
“Yelling at me, Max, is not going to help the situation.”
“I’m trying to be calm, I really am, but I’m finding it a little difficult to be calm right now when my whole world is hanging in the balance.”
“Your world? How the hell do you think I feel? I’m not ready for any of this. I thought I was being responsible. When that damn thing broke, I raced to get the morning after pill, now I find out I can still be pregnant.”
“Jackie, stop. We used a condom and emergency contraceptive, no one is to blame.”
Her lip is quivering and her tears are falling. “B-but I’m not ready for this, Max, I’m only twenty-five.”
“What are you telling me, that you would terminate it?”
She stops, searching my eyes. “Max, is that what you want me to do?”
This is it, it’s my do or die moment. I drop to my knees in front of her and lift her chin. “I would rather die first, Jackie. I never thought I wanted another child again, not after Elliot died. You cleared the muddy waters and showed me that I can love again. I want you, God how I want you with me for the rest of my life. I want to hold your hand and walk on the beach. I want to watch the sunrise and set with you in my arms. I want to watch you have our children—lots of them. I’ve watched you with Junior, and with all of your students, you’re a natural born mum. I would be honored to have you be the mother of my children. More than that, I would be honored to have you as my wife. Before you say anything, please hear me out. I’m not asking you to marry me because of the possibility that you might be pregnant, believe me that would be a bonus. I’m asking you . . . no I’m pleading with you, because I love you. You’ve made me whole. You’ve taught me to finally live my life and not wait around to die. You’ve mended my broken soul. You complete me like no one else can. When the condom broke, I felt the walls around my heart fall like broken glass. Will you please do me the honor and marry me?”
She sits in silence and I’m holding my breath.
“Maxwell, I love you, I really do, but I feel like everything is spinning out of control.”
“Baby, our love is the one constant thing through all of this. I won’t rush you, but I’m not going anywhere without you. I can’t.”
“Can we have a long engagement?”
“My beautiful angel, if that’s what I have to do to get you to say yes, then, hell yeah.”
“And if I’m not pregnant?”
“Nothing changes for me, baby, absolutely nothing. We are all books, waiting to be opened, the pages filled with all of life’s unknowns just begging to be shared. Please share the rest of your life with me.”
“Yes.”
I lean in and kiss her swollen lips. “Oh, my beautiful angel, you’ve saved me. God how I love you.” I lift her up, and she wraps her beautiful legs around my waist while kissing me gently. She leans her forehead against mine, “I need you to hold me, Max, please.”
“Forever, baby, always and forever.”
RAVEN COMES OUT OF Max’s flat, visibly shaken.
“Raven, how’s, Jackie, doing?” I wrap her in a hug.
“About the same as Max is.”
“They will be okay, sweetheart, I promise you they will be.”
“How could you know that?”
“I know that because my wife’s faith is rubbing off on me.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Jax, is Mick going to come with us to the island?”
“Yes. I gave him the option to stay here, but he was adamant about going.”
“I feel bad that everyone’s life is being turned upside down. Mick was just getting to know Ashlyn. Maybe I should talk to him about staying here. He needs routine and structure in his life, not all this drama.”
“Would it make you feel better if you talk to him? I already did and he was adamant about protecting you and Jackie. If you want, you can ask Ashlyn to come, too.”
“Jax, she has a business to run and then there’s her volunteer work. I’m sure she would come for a vacation, but not an extended stay.”
“Why don’t we just take one day at a time? Let’s get down there and settled in first.”
“I think I’m still going to talk to him. Have you heard anything more from the Feds?”
“No. Only what Sammy told us this morning. Once we get to the island, I’m prepared to release the video, if necessary. We will be leaving later for the airport.”
“Well you go check on Max and Jackie while I go talk to Mick.”
I tighten my grip. “Jax, what’s the problem?”
“No problem, but I need you to come with me for a few minutes, please.”
“Go where?” She raises a brow at me.
“Um, office. Yep, that’ll work.” As we head towards his office, Bella try’s to stop us. I make a quick U-turn and practically run into the bedroom.
“Jax, what the hell are you doing?”
I scoop her up and walk faster, trying not to judder her too much.
HE’S RACING TOWARDS OUR bedroom and in an instant he has me in our walk in closet. “Jax, why are we in our closet?”
“Look, sweetheart, when you get all demanding with me, it’s so fucking hot, I can’t think about anything but the happy place. It’s been a crazy arse day and I need you, dear God, I need you now!”
I’ve never seen such urgency in this man before. It must be the stress, it has to be. He pushes the clothes on the pole aside.
“Hang onto the clothes bar for support, Raven.”
I reach up and hold onto the bar. He quickly rids me of my pants as he drops to his knees. That beautiful strong powerful tongue hits me like a lightning bolt. He pushes my legs wider as his tongue is working front to back. His fingers are working their way in side of me very slowly but his tongue is moving with such urgency. Fast and slow at the same time. I can’t take much more and he knows it, but he’s not letting up. “Jax . . . oh, Jax . . . please.”
“Please what, sweetheart? Tell me and I’ll give you what you want.”
“You know what I want, Jax.”
He’s slowing down! “No! Please don’t slow down.”
“Then, tell me what you want.”
“I don’t know how much longer I can hold on, Jax, please.”
He grips my ass with both his hands and begins to lightly nibble on my clitoris. His fingers are moving in and out matching the tempo of his tongue
“Jax, baise-moi maintenant et me baiser dur.”
I know what talking dirty French does to him and I swear he growls, his grip tightening. “Sweetheart, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“Jax, fuck me now and fuck me hard!”
“Yes! Sweet Jesus, woman!”
He’s off of his knees. “For the love of God, Raven, don’t let go of the bar.
Oh happy place, here we come.”
He lifts me up so my legs wrap around his waist, which is not easy with my belly getting in the way. He takes his cock and strokes my clitoris with it, right before he enters me. I want him hard but he’s determined to go slow. All the frustration and the fear from the past few weeks come flooding to the surface. He picks up the pace and finally gives me what I want. “Oh fuck, Raven, I’m going. You there, baby?”
He doesn’t need to wait for me to answer; I’m screaming his name over and over again. Fast, furious, and so fucking hot. He’s holding me up, and we’re both shaking.
He finally finds his voice, “Oh, baby, you can let go of the pole now.”
“Jax, I can’t, my hands are cramped and stuck to it.”
He pry’s my fingers loose and we sit on the floor. I’m curled in his lap, both of us trying to catch our breath.
“My beautiful wife, I think you’re trying to kill me.”
“Jax, do you want to tell me what that was about?”
His eyes are closed, and he’s got the Jaxson smile going full blast.
“I needed you, sweetheart. We were away from each other for way too long. When you get all teacher mode on me, it makes me crazy.”
I’m snuggled into his chest and he’s stroking my back. “Hmm . . . Jax, I could stay like this all night, but the baby is kicking like crazy. I need a shower and I’m hungry, yet again.”
“Let’s shower and then I’ll get you something to eat. What would you like?”
“A toasted bagel with cream cheese, a cup of tea, and those wonderful cookies that your mom sneaks into Max’s flat when she thinks no one is watching.”
I sit up, “Wait, my mum is sneaking cookies to Max? What cookies is he getting that I’m not?”
“Some type of shortbread cookie with jelly in the middle.”
“Oh my God! Max is getting Jammie Dodgers and I’m not! This is war, Raven, trust me.”
“Sometimes, Jax, you’re such a little boy. Let’s go before anyone misses us.”
I GOT PERMISSION TO see Vincent, again, and he’s not going to be happy with the news I have. My brother sits in front of me, on the other side of the glass. Every time I come here he looks worse. We both pick up our phones.
Darkness into Dawn (The Unraveled Trilogy Book 2) Page 29