Southern Spice (Southern Desires Series Book 1)

by Jeannette Winters

  Deep down he knew Casey had gone into defensive mode when he’d questioned her character. Her reaction was nothing compared to what his would’ve been had the tables been turned. What she didn’t know was the struggle he’d faced already to contain his anger these last few days. Feelings he thought he’d buried long ago were now resurfacing at an out of control rate.

  He opened up the desk drawer and pulled out the picture frame that used to sit on the desk until it became unbearable. Derrick looked at Penny first with her long blonde hair hanging loosely and blowing in the wind. Kim had been the spitting image of her mother. She’d been tall for her age and had beautiful blue eyes that would have stolen many boys’ hearts. God knows you stole mine, baby girl.

  He ran a finger over her cheek in the picture and closed his eyes. Derrick couldn’t even remember if he had kissed her goodbye when he’d left that day. It was bittersweet, but he didn’t want to forget, not one thing.

  The last thing he remembered was Kim wearing her puppy costume from a dance recital she’d just participated in a few days before they’d left on their vacation. She had refused to take it off the evening before he left and said she wanted to be a puppy forever ’cause they were so cute. He had promised her that one day they would get a puppy. But that day would never come. Every dream and promise was ripped away a week later.

  His daughter would have turned twelve last month. I wonder if you would’ve been like your mama, all sweet and only see the good in everyone? Or would you be like me and see people for who they really are and not who they pretend to be? Insincere.

  He’d encountered too many insincere people after the accident. Accident? It was a word that even now rubbed him the wrong way. That was no accident. It had been neglect and incompetence. Just because no one had been charged with a crime, didn’t mean it hadn’t been one.

  Looking closely at the picture one last time before he placed it back in the drawer he said, “I promise you, one day I’ll make them pay. I won’t rest until they do.”

  There was a knock on the door, and he hesitated to respond. McLean knew better than disturb him when he was here. The only time he called was if there was something urgent. Derrick had become very good at keeping everyone at a distance. The tactics he used to make that clear were questionable if not illegal, but it was only the end result he cared about. What was the worst that could happen? He could spend the rest of his life in jail. He was in one already, one without bars. At least in jail, no one will ask me how I am feeling.

  The knock came again. Only then did he notice the noise from the guests had stopped. Maybe Casey was just trying to let him know the coast was clear if he wanted to leave the four walls he had come to enjoy or at least start to feel comfortable in. He pushed back from the desk and walked over and unlocked the door.

  Casey was standing there with an unusual expression. Her eyes glistened as though she was about to cry. I know they can be pushy, but folk around here don’t normally make people cry.

  “What’s the matter?” No matter how hard he tried to fight the attraction, he was losing the battle. At times she was meek and demure, but at the other times feisty and full of sass. Someone he’d love to tame. But seeing her looking vulnerable? His heart ached for her. He didn’t want to feel anything for her, but he couldn’t find anything he didn’t like about her. She seemed as genuine as they come. He liked her. Another reason why you don’t belong here.

  Casey didn’t answer him, only limped her way to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him while burying her face in his chest. He could peel her arms off him, but the truth was, he liked the feel of her. Soft. Smooth to his rough. Small to his tall. Sweet to his gruff. Taking his own arms, he pulled her closer to him, holding her gently.

  “Casey.” She looked up at him when he called her name. Her beautiful brown eyes were pulling at his soul.

  “Oh, Derrick,” she said breathlessly.

  The sound of his name rolling off her tongue was more than he could take. He bent and claimed her lips. Derrick started slowly, but the hunger within him exploded, and he lifted her off the floor pulling her up as he explored her mouth with his tongue.

  She met his passion with her own. Not just taking what he offered, but demanding more, and he was more than willing to give. Their tongues entwined as if in an erotic dance. He sucked hers into his mouth, and she moaned and pulled at him, urging him on. Still holding her in his arms, his hand slid down to cup her round ass and he ground his hard cock against her.

  He saw the hunger in her eyes but it was nothing compared to his own. He needed her, all of her.

  Casey lightly bit his bottom lip as she locked her eyes with his. His cock was throbbing, and if he didn’t stop now he wasn’t going to be able to. She was beautiful, sexy as hell, and intelligent. I. Want. Her.

  However, she was also a part of FEMA, and he couldn’t forget that. Wouldn’t forget. There was one reason she was here, and it wasn’t so she could warm his bed.

  Slowly he pulled his lips from hers. Her eyes were now dark with desire. He wanted, no needed her, but it couldn’t happen. Not here.

  This was Penny’s ranch. I took that away from her. From them. I deserve to be reminded of loss, certainly not pleasure. Fuck. What am I doing? What was I thinking? Penny’s. Ranch.

  That thought was like ice water poured on him. How had he forgotten so easily? He had no right to be here like this with Casey. No right to be happy at all.

  Without a word, he let her go and brushed past her, leaving her standing in his office alone. He needed to get out of there. Grabbing his hat, he walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Derrick didn’t care how damn hot it was outside. It was nothing compared to what was burning inside him.

  Chapter Six

  Casey had tossed and turned all night thinking about that kiss. Her entire body had come alive in his arms, and she hadn’t wanted him to let go. But the look on his face when he suddenly pulled away said how much he regretted kissing her. It was a mistake knocking on his door. She was too emotional at that time to think clearly. All she had wanted to do was express how sorry she was to hear about the loss of his wife and daughter. Instead, she practically threw herself at him.

  She was grateful for Sissie bringing her toiletries but would’ve love clothes as well. As she pulled on another outfit Derrick had once again left for her, she thought it must have been Penny’s. It must kill him to see me wearing them. This has to stop now.

  Once dressed, she made her way downstairs and quietly searched for Derrick. Thankfully he left early . . . as usual. Pulling her new cell phone out of her back pocket she called the sheriff’s office and asked for him.

  “Sheriff Bullard here.”

  “Good morning, this is Casey Collins.”

  “Howdy, ma’am. Don’t tell me Derrick is giving you trouble already because I’ll be happy to come and straighten him out for you,” he teased.

  No, I’m the problem here. “No, everything is fine, but I really need to be in town to complete my assignment here. Would there be any place I can set up and stay for the next two days? I believe I’ll be done by then.”

  “Most of the town’s electricity is back on. But as you know several have lost their homes, so they are staying either at the hotel or with families that can take them in. There are three beds available, but the accommodation isn’t usually what people are looking for.”

  Anything is better than here. “I’m sure it will be fine.”

  Jack laughed. “You sure about that? It’s not known for privacy but comes with three square meals a day.” Laughing again even harder. “Yep, the vacancies are in the jail cells.”

  “I’ll take it,” she said quickly. Too quickly. That sounded so desperate. Surely that would make him suspicious. Crap. Casey rolled her eyes. Even on the phone I can’t pull off being a tough ass.

  “Ma’am, what’s going on?” he asked in an official tone.

  She couldn’t tell him what, but a lie
would only cause more issues at this point. “It’s become awkward being here. I would prefer being in town. If you can’t accommodate me, then I will call my office so they can find someone who can.” There was no way in hell she would have called as it would’ve meant providing an explanation she couldn’t give.

  “One of my deputies is in your area. I’ll have him stop by in about thirty minutes. If you want a ride, have your things ready, and he’ll pick you up then. You’re welcome to stay here as long as needed.”

  “I’ll be waiting.”

  She quickly gathered her laptop, printer, and the official forms that had arrived yesterday. Some of it hadn’t even been opened, making it convenient. Casey wanted to get out before Derrick returned. It was going to be difficult enough to explain her actions yesterday in a note, never mind what it would be like face to face.

  When everything was packed in boxes and by the door, Casey realized she had placed all the box of pens and forms she usually gave out when meeting with people at the bottom of one of the boxes. She didn’t want to start searching her bags, so she looked around his house for some paper to leave him a note. There was nothing. Not even a pen out of place. Not what I would expect from a bachelor pad. He must have someone cleanup after him. She knew there must be something to write on in his office. Opening the door, she turned on the light and noticed the room was as clutter-free as the rest of the house. Not one item out of place on his desk. Nothing looked lived in at all. More like a tomb. Is this why he’s never here?

  Casey walked over to his desk and opened the top drawer. Bingo.

  Pulling out a piece of paper and pen she also noticed a framed picture. She squeezed her eyes shut trying to convince herself to shut the drawer without looking. It didn’t work. Casey pulled the frame out. If there was any doubt about whose clothes she was wearing before, it vanished. Penny was tall, curvy, and absolutely stunning. The little girl was the spitting image of her mother. They looked so happy. I wish I had the words to ease your pain, Derrick. A loss like this would be more than I could bear.

  The only thing I can do to show I care is to leave.

  Casey put the photo back in the drawer and closed it. The purpose for coming in here was to leave a note, not to snoop into his private life more than she already had. The one warning he had given her was to stay out. But somehow she found herself ignoring his request, and that was unforgivable. Even if he doesn’t know it.

  Picking up the pen she stared at the paper in front of her. Normally she wasn’t at a loss for words but what to say right now didn’t seem appropriate on paper. Staying to say it to his face seemed a worse choice.

  Come on, Casey, let the words flow. Don’t overthink it. Keep it professional and be done. As the pen made contact with the paper words appeared on their own.

  Derrick,

  Thank you for allowing me to stay these past few days. I find it will be much easier for me to complete my work if I am stationed in town.

  Casey Collins

  She folded the note, wrote his name on top, and left it on the desk. Before she got up from the desk, she looked around one last time and tried to picture what Sissie had described. She could almost hear the music playing and children running around laughing. This ranch was beautiful, but it was the love of those who shared it that made it a home. Casey understood now why it felt so cold and empty.

  The heart had been removed from it.

  Now it was only walls and a roof. A chill ran down her spine at the realization.

  Filled with sadness, she pushed away from the desk and left the office, shutting the door behind her. She didn’t belong here. This place was filled with memories, and they were not hers to disturb.

  She saw a Jeep pull up and a young man dressed in a uniform get out. Casey picked up her new cell phone—the only thing still inside—and walked out of the house. Be at peace, Derrick.

  The deputy had already loaded her meager belongings into the back. Jack must have warned him not to talk because they drove into town in total silence.

  She closed her eyes and tried to erase the last few days from her memory, but they wouldn’t leave. Not one moment. She felt as though she was somehow on the run again. She had run from Buffalo after hearing the news of her father’s diagnosis. He shouldn’t be out in the field, but nothing the doctors said would change his mind. Not even my pleas to have him come home where he’d be close by. Regardless, she had run. Taken any work assignment that meant she was traveling. Keeping busy. Don’t think of what she couldn’t change. Keep moving forward. Here I go again. Derrick practically told me I’m not wanted here, so instead of conflict, I’ll leave. Technically, it may look like I am still running. But this is what’s best for both of us. Let us both find some peace.

  “What do you mean you don’t know where she is? You’re supposed to know everything that goes on here,” Derrick barked.

  “You told me to stay away from the house, now you want to know why I wasn’t there?” McLean replied.

  He didn’t want any rational explanations. All he wanted was to find Casey. The horses were here as well as the vehicles, so she couldn’t be far. It’s not like she has friends here that she would go and visit. Unless . . . Sissie! She has a way of making everyone her friend whether you like it or not.

  “Do you have Sissie’s number?”

  McLean arched a brow. “And why would I have that?”

  “It’s a yes or no question.”

  He nodded. “Yeah. You don’t think she took off with her, do you? I’m not so sure after what happened yesterday, at least.”

  What does that mean? Did Casey tell McLean about the kiss? Is that why she left? “It was a stupid mistake. It shouldn’t have happened.”

  “Sissie didn’t mean no harm. You know how she gets. I think she thought it would help if Casey knew—”

  “What did she do?”

  McLean looked shocked. “What were you talking about if not . . . Sissie?”

  I was talking about a kiss that still has my blood running hot a day later. “McLean, if you don’t start talking you better call Jack because you’re going to get your ass beat until you do.”

  McLean removed his hat and ran his fingers through his hair then wiped the sweat from his brow before speaking again. “She knows. About Penny and Kim.”

  Why didn’t she tell me? Was that what last night was all about? Was she kissing me out of pity? “If you told her—”

  “You know better, Derrick.”

  He did. After all these years he knew the one person he always could count on was McLean. He’d seen him at his best, but for the most part he’d dealt with him at his worst. So many nights he’d found himself waking up with his boots off and safely home after going to a bar and getting plastered. Not once had McLean questioned him or said a word.

  The people in town wouldn’t say anything. He had them all running so darn scared they didn’t even speak to him when he passed them on the street. All except for one.

  “Call her and see if she knows where Casey is. And put it on speaker. I want to hear this for myself.”

  McLean shook his head but dialed the number as he asked. “Sissie, I don’t have time to talk, but I need to know if you know where Casey is.”

  “Haven’t seen her since yesterday. You didn’t tell that boss of yours about me taking Casey up to the see the graves, did you?” Sissie asked.

  McLean looked at Derrick, who glared at him. “I said nothing. If you see her, give me a call right away.”

  “You know how Derrick gets. You might want to call Jack and let him know she’s missing. God knows what that man did to her if he found out about yesterday.”

  “Sissie, Derrick wouldn’t hurt anyone,” McLean stated.

  Then you don’t know me as well as you think you do, McLean. ’Cause right now I want to hurt you both.

  “Okay, McLean. You keep telling yourself that, but a man suffering like that is like a wounded dog. You just don’t know when they’ll bite.”
r />   “Sissie, I gotta go.” McLean cut the call before she said anything else.

  Nice to know someone understands me. And if I don’t find Casey soon, someone is going to pay the price.

  “Derrick, Sissie has a point. You might want to talk to Jack and give him the heads-up.”

  He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and dialed Jack’s cell. He wasn’t in the mood for answering twenty questions by calling his office. “Jack, Casey is gone.”

  “Yeah, I know. She’s here.”

  “You mean in your office?”

  “Not exactly. She’s rooming in one of my cells. I don’t know what you did to that girl, Derrick, but somehow she found a prisoner’s bunk more appealing than your bed,” Jack said in a serious tone.

  It was not like that, but he was not in the habit of explaining himself to anyone. Not even a friend. “I’m coming to get her.”

  “Not tonight, Derrick. I don’t know what happened, but this is where she wants to be, and you’re going to respect her wishes. Do I make myself clear?”

  “This has nothing to do with you, Jack.”

  “Derrick. I’m not talking to you as Jack right now. I’m warning you as Sheriff Bullard. Stay away tonight. Tomorrow you can come by and talk.” Jack disconnected the call.

  He was so angry with Jack and Casey right now. But why? She was gone, and that was what he’d hoped for all along. Now he was upset that she left? No, Jack was right. She didn’t want to see him, and he should count that as a blessing. One less complication in my life. Now I can leave this damn ranch and head back home. There was one problem. No matter where he was, he actually wasn’t leaving anything behind. He took the responsibility of their deaths with him wherever he went. New York wasn’t an escape; it was just a different location. A place where the rat race was all that mattered. A place I can be alone.

  “Where you going?” McLean asked.

  Shouting over his shoulder, Derrick replied. “New York. You know the drill. Call me if anything urgent comes up.”