Eight Goodbyes

by Christine Brae

  Luckily, the hotel had an arcade filled with shops on the ground floor. Granted, they were luxury stores and he had been forced to fork over some serious cash for a formal shirt and shoes. Still, he felt pretty smug about pulling it off.

  Tessa had been gone by the time he came back. Out of habit, he went about the room, picking up her discarded makeup, her hairbrush, her towels and her clothes. He put her things in a drawer by the bathtub and piled her clothes neatly on the sitting couch by the bed.

  As he placed the finishing touches on his outfit, dabbing some cologne and straightening up his sleeves, he felt proud. There was no way he was going to sit in the hotel and allow his insecurities to get the better of him. It wasn’t about her going with someone else, it was the fact that they’d be apart for a few hours. He only had one day left with her. And despite her seemingly hostile reaction to Andrew—she’d avoided his calls all throughout this trip—Simon’s competitive streak just wouldn’t let things be.

  He arrived at the Asia Society Hong Kong Center one hour after the start of the dinner. He had read about the venue—a former British military site recently converted into a cultural hub. The rooftop garden, with concrete flower boxes and Chinese artifacts, had been transformed into an ancient Chinese palace, complete with a bridge over an infinity pool adorned with lotus leaves. Votive candles and paper lanterns lined the walkway from the entrance to the pond. Wooden tables and chairs were tastefully decorated with gold and red satin accents.

  Nancy Ling waved at him from the bar. Her ebony hair flowed down the shoulders of her long emerald green dress. She was tall and lithe and graceful. He gave her a kiss on both cheeks as she leaned in to greet him.

  “We’re at table fifteen,” she said.

  He offered her his arm in response. They took their seats at a table with four other couples. To his left was the wife of the French ambassador and to Nancy’s right was the husband of a local artist. Champagne was passed around and intricately plated Cantonese delicacies—shark fin, abalone, birds nest and squab—were served. Simon wasn’t hungry, wasn’t too involved in the tableside conversations. He busied himself looking for Tessa. Nancy made small talk, asking about the places he’d visited over the weekend and curious about his thoughts about her country. She would die if she knew that he enjoyed the eight corners of Tessa’s suite more than anything else he’d seen.

  Simon was gracious and attentive, making sure to react to whatever it was she talked about. But he kept looking. And glancing. And scanning the garden. He focused on women with short hair, ears perked up for that squeaky, quirky laugh. It was a full house with over one hundred fifty people in attendance.

  The night wore on, the liquor flowed freely. Speech after speech was made. Some political, but mostly relevant to the arts and crafts of the Orient. And then it was time for the dancing. A hardwood dance floor rose out of the ground and the area quickly morphed into a club. By this time, Nancy was begging him to dance with her. He promised to do so after a quick trip to the loo.

  Turned out that the loo was inside the building, through a maze of stairs and down a small escalator. It was on the way there that Simon saw Andrew. He looked every bit the model; dapper and exceedingly stylish, his blond, wavy hair greased back and tied in a ponytail. Andrew stood by the steps with a woman with shoulder length hair, her smooth silky back exposed in a long, flowing red dress.

  He’s dumped Tessa somewhere, Simon thought.

  He overheard their conversation as he approached them.

  “Come on, Tess. It’s early.”

  “Andrew, I’m tired. I just want to go home.”

  “What the hell happened to you?” Andrew slurred. “You were fine a while ago.”

  “I’m just so jetlagged.”

  “I haven’t spent any time with you during this trip.” He stepped in toward her. She backed away. “Come on, Tessa. We used to have so much fun together.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling too well. You stay. I’ll Uber back to the hotel. Promise I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  Simon knew that voice. And yet, when she turned around, he was struck by the most exquisite face he had ever seen—just like the first time he saw her. The almond shaped eyes, the thick full lips.

  Tess gasped and tripped backward as their eyes met. Then slowly, she shook her head in a silent warning.

  Simon kept walking, past the couple, down the escalator and toward the bathrooms. In less than a few minutes, he heard the clicking and clacking of high-heeled shoes. He felt a rush of excitement as he stopped in his tracks, swung around, grabbed her arms and pulled her roughly behind a large stone column in a darkened corner. He pushed her against the wall, pinned her arms up with his hands and kissed her, biting her top lip, muttering in her mouth.

  “I couldn’t find you,” he said breathlessly.

  “I know, I know. The wig,” she whispered, planting kisses on his forehead and on his nose. “What are you doing here?”

  “I got lonely,” he said, slipping his hand into the front of her gown and squeezing her breast. His mouth remained latched onto her neck.

  She closed her eyes but only for a second. “No!” She pushed him away. “I saw you with someone else.”

  She twisted herself to loosen his grip on her. Still he held on tightly. Mixed signals, that’s what she was doing. He knew she was struggling to keep her wits. He wished she would just express herself, tell him what he wanted to hear her say.

  “You’re jealous,” he taunted. “Just tell me you’re jealous. Just like I am.” He held her face and tried to kiss her.

  She still didn’t budge, ducking her head so his lips ended up in her hair.

  “God, Tessa. She’s nothing. She’s a work associate. I used her to get in here, don’t know anything about her. Don’t want to know.”

  She stared at him blankly as he held her against the wall. He licked a trail down to her breast and bit her. “You’re so beautiful, you’re mine. Tell me you’re mine.”

  “No.” She was all contradiction, wrapping her legs around him as he lifted her up and pushed her panties to the side.

  “Tell me,” he ordered, this time opening her up with his fingers, as he looked into her eyes.

  “No.” She moaned. “You would’ve gone home with her. No. Let me down!”

  “Tessa.” He crushed her against him. “I’m blinded by you. I can’t see anyone but you!”

  She was ready. He wanted to cut through her defiance. “Tell.” Deeper, he probed. “Me.”

  “Bastard,” she said, pounding his shoulder with her fist. “Stop it.”

  Overcome with feelings he couldn’t explain, he released her legs and gently set them on the floor. And then with both hands, he cupped her face tenderly and grazed his lips across her cheeks. “You’re jealous.”

  “Yes.”

  The ultimate turn-on.

  “You want something to write about?” he growled as he unzipped his pants and she took him in her hand. “Let me give you something to write about.”

  “Yes, give me…” She gasped as he entered her. “I’m yours, oh, I’m yours!”

  This woman, he thought. She makes me do things, feel things, want things I never even knew I wanted.

  Like a future.

  Once every few weeks was no longer enough. He couldn’t bear to be away from this constant pleasure. He was getting spoiled. As time progressed, as they saw each other more and more, she destroyed his senses. Made him crazy. All his thoughts were of her, and the ineffable madness she incited in him.

  Simon shuddered with desire as he held her in his arms, sat her on top of him, lifted her up and pushed her down.

  “Take me, Tessa,” he sputtered. “Take me home.”

  “Did you put away my hairbrush?” Tessa asked, agitated.

  She heard him draw a deep breath before he stood and walked toward the bathroom. “It should be in that drawer with everything else,” he retorted, returning
her tone with one of his own.

  They rushed around the suite, packing up hurriedly, both sullen and exhausted. Tessa’s car was coming in thirty minutes to take her to the conference. Simon’s ride, along with Nancy Ling, was coming within the hour to take him to the Kowloon factory.

  Tessa felt disoriented. Disconcerted. Something wasn’t right. She was going to miss him. When she tried to assure herself the messages and calls would still come, it no longer served to comfort her. Maybe they were no longer enough. Maybe she wanted more.

  Perhaps what fazed her was the lovely Sunday spent at Ocean Park, eating, riding and running around like little kids. She’d learned so much about him, tested his fear of heights once again, his reluctance to go on the cable car that crossed the mountain. And yet, he’d gone out on a limb for her, given in to everything she wanted to do, saw everything she wanted to see. He thought it was cute, her fascination for sea life. Dolphins and whales and her insistence on touching everything and trying everything, even the roller coaster that flipped over numerous times and made him sick.

  By mid-afternoon, he had been ready to return to the hotel. But she hadn’t. And so, they had taken the bus to Stanley Market and walked around for over an hour. Tessa had helped Simon choose a silk scarf for his mum and a leather tool belt for his dad. He’d carried bags full of magnets, tea cups and T-shirts for her fans. And then they’d found a special red and black Chinese pajama outfit for his little nephew.

  They’d caught the sunset at Stanley Beach, laid Simon’s new scarf on the grass and watched the windsurfers battle with waves. She’d sat between his legs as he held her, his chin on her shoulder. She’d finally told him about her ideas for her current book. They character casted, she outlined it all to him. He hadn’t liked the fact that the main character had a checkered past. Couldn’t he be a spy instead? A James Bond? He was British. She would already have that covered.

  They’d kissed like teenagers under the moon and the stars and left only when the lifeguards announced the beach was closing for the day.

  We drank too much, fucked too often and now it’s time to leave.

  “Next time it bothers you that my stuff is all over the place, just tell me and I’ll put them away myself,” Tessa barked.

  Simon didn’t bother to lift his head. He was too engrossed in reprogramming the electronic lock on his suitcase. She moved around the room to retrieve the red dress she had worn the night before. Wrapping it up in a plastic clothes bag, she then zipped it closed before laying it flat on the bed.

  The more he ignored her, the more it maddened her. Reason told her he was just busy trying to get ready. Her foolish side told her he didn’t care. Maybe she didn’t either. Maybe she was just exhausted.

  “I mean, you think I’m a slob, don’t you? Did you ever think it’s most probably because I had never shared a room with anyone before you?”

  Simon finally got the lock to snap in place. He watched as she zigzagged back and forth, to the bedroom, to the living room, back to the bathroom. Picking up things and shoving them in her bag. Snatching her jewelry from the night table and placing it on her fingers, her neck and then her ears.

  “I guess this is it,” she muttered to herself, walking by Simon, who observed her from the floor. “All’s well that ends well.”

  “Stop!” He grabbed her hand just as she walked past. “Tessa. Stop. Sit with me for a while. Sit down.”

  Tessa dropped to her knees in front of him. He placed his hands on her waist and pulled her close.

  “What’s wrong, Tess? Why are you so angry?”

  “I’m not angry, Simon. I’m just stressed out because we’re rushing.”

  “It’s not ending, Tess. Nothing’s ending. We had such a wonderful time, didn’t we?”

  He pulled her even closer. She held on to him tightly. She loved the way he smelled, his hard arms and shoulders, the grown-out stubble that rubbed against her face.

  “I’ll miss you, that’s all,” she said, her voice soft and calm.

  “I’ll miss you as well. In fact, you’re the one who never wants to plan. I’m the one who has to wait until you Tweet your next destination, remember? I thought you liked this game.”

  “I don’t know. It doesn’t seem fun anymore,” she said with a laugh.

  “Where did all that spontaneity disappear to?”

  “The last time I checked, it made you puke your guts out right by the panda forest.”

  He laughed out loud. She pulled away to look at his face. The sooner she admitted to herself she wished they had more time together, the better this would go. They only had a few minutes before the outside world would once again descend and take over.

  “Why would I let you go?” He held her hands in his. “We could be beautiful. What we have, I mean.”

  She felt grounded, like she belonged in every moment they were together. But what he’d just said had rendered her speechless. Mostly because if she believed it, if she agreed to it, then it could take over her priorities. And she could easily see that happening now. Already, she was playing with ways in her head to ensure she saw him again.

  “Okay, let’s plan then. Let’s try it my way. Where to next?” he asked.

  She paused. Had a thought but hesitated to ask. It caused her to question her own resolve.

  Were they planning where to meet, or next steps? Because she still couldn’t do next steps.

  Fuck it, she decided.

  “How much time do you need to plan?” she asked sheepishly, fixing her eyes on the floor. Afraid to see his reaction.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Why?”

  “A week from tomorrow I’ll be in the Philippines at a secluded beach for a much-needed break. Do you think you can join me?”

  “Thank you.” Nancy Ling flapped her long, dark eyelashes at him. “For agreeing to stay a few days to train us.”

  Simon tilted his head and squinted. “Not you, the scientists.” His patience wore thin. Exhaustion, maybe. Withdrawals, definitely.

  Nancy ignored his comment as they walked toward the observation deck.

  Tessa’s most recent text didn’t help at all.

  Boarded. Can’t wait to pick another fight with you. Best make up sex ever.

  Breakthrough! She was jealous!

  Should he have told her he loved her before they separated at the hotel? The limousine ride had been a challenge, with Nancy riding in the back seat next to him, inching closer and closer as the ride wore on. Simon knew those messages were meant to distract him from spending the day with his coworker.

  “Toxicology showed nothing concerning?” She traced her fingertips along his arm while they watched two long robotic arms inject substances into a giant test tube. One hour into their tour of the Kowloon laboratory and he just wasn’t as attentive as he should have been. Even though he was witnessing his idea become a reality, he felt incomplete.

  He stepped to the side, trying to put some distance between them.

  “Not at all. In fact, the nanoparticles allowed access into the cell and various cellular compartments,” he answered.

  “Nucleus?”

  “Particularly.” He smiled.

  She took it as another opportunity to make a pass at him, despite the presence of other lab technicians. “Brilliant, Mr. Fremont,” she whispered into his ear while reaching her arm around his waist.

  He grabbed her hand and untangled it from him.

  “Nancy, no.” He looked straight at her. “I have to make a phone call before checking out the rest of the testing area. Listen. I’ll meet you in an hour by the front entrance.”

  He turned on his heel without waiting for a response.

  As he walked along the long narrow corridor, he pondered his decision to meet Tessa at her destination. Coupled with the excitement of seeing her again merely one week after their time in Hong Kong was an apprehension he knew he needed to address. He had to tell someone in his family where he was.


  Just in case.

  He zigzagged through the halls, past glass enclosed offices looking more like fish bowls. Black couches, white desks. Very modern, tasteful, designed like an ad agency rather than a research facility. The government sure knew how to fund its investments.

  Finally, he found what he was looking for. A Here and There Room, designed for teleconference calls. He sat at a long rectangular table facing a giant wide screen TV and plugged a long cord rising from the floor straight into his phone. Adrian’s face popped up almost immediately.

  “Hey, mate,” Adrian said, his warm smile clear and radiating from the screen. Simon could see Ashleigh and the baby sitting quietly by the kitchen table. It looked like they were watching a movie on her iPad. “Hold on, I’m going to the living room.”

  Simon saw nothing for a few seconds.

  “There. Can you see me?” Adrian propped the phone on something he couldn’t see and leaned back on the couch.

  “Hey. Yeah. I thought I’d call to check in.”

  “Where are you?”

  “I’m staying in Hong Kong for a few more days. Thought you should know,” Simon said, running his hand through his hair.

  “But I just saw you! What do you mean you’re in Asia?”

  Nancy Ling walked past the conference room. Adrian could see her through the screen.

  “Fuck,” Simon said, ducking his head instinctively, despite remaining unseen.

  “Who was that? Holy shit, bro. I knew it! You’ve been bonking someone this whole time? No wonder, you’ve been quite chuffed lately. Is that her?”

  “No! Adrian! Focus! I don’t have much time here. I called because—”

  Nancy Ling was back. And this time, she stuck her head in. She looked worried. “There you are.”

  Simon no longer cared about trying to accommodate her. This was too much. He was trying to get some time to speak to his brother. “Nancy,” he said, his face grim, stern. His mouth in a straight line and every word enunciated. “I would really like some privacy to speak to my brother. Please leave.”