She glanced at Nate and smiled as she inhaled. I wish for a new life with Nate. She blew out the seventeen candles in two tries. Not that she expected the wish to come true. She could hope though.
Nate passed a corner piece to Harper. What did he think of the apartment? If only she could have witnessed the horror on his face as his Camaro brought him closer and closer to her side of the universe.
Carmen couldn’t wait for a moment alone so she could ask him. She’d bring him out on the fire escape later—oh no! She couldn’t bring him out there. What if Marco and his pals were hanging out across the street? Word of Nate would travel around the school so fast. It would confirm the rumors of her college boyfriend. Then everyone would expect her to endure public scorn—or worse—from Diego. She’d have to keep Nate hidden. If anyone asked about the Camaro, she could say she had no idea. Or maybe that he was her cousin visiting from upstate.
“Time for presents.” Harper bounced at Carmen’s right elbow. “Open mine. Open mine.”
Carmen grinned at the infectious glee before she could help herself. She tore off the balloon wrapping paper to find a long slender box. She lifted the top to reveal a plastic necklace. A cross necklace.
Harper’s smile went from ear to ear. “Don’t you love it?”
“It’s beautiful, Harp. Thank you.” Carmen pulled her close for a hug.
“Here, let me put it on.” Harper took the box from Carmen and readied the chain to fasten around Carmen’s neck.
She lifted her thick waves and felt the necklace fall into place. The cross heavy on her chest. She’d wear it when Harper was around, but not to school.
“Mine next.” Mom handed Carmen a small, heavy box with a card on top.
She tore open the card. Slow down. Don’t let them see the rush. All she wanted was some time alone with Nate. Away from prying eyes seeking her approval, waiting for her to smile and laugh. It was so difficult to find something to laugh about lately. Carmen read the words of the card out loud but didn’t register a single one of them. Go through the paces; that was the best she could do. A plastic card fell from the envelope onto the floor.
“Wow. Thirty dollars for iTunes? Awesome, Mom. Thank you.” There’d been a day not very long ago that would have been a hundred, but those days were long gone. “I know just what I’m going to download.”
“There’s something in the box, but I thought the iTunes would help with the sting.” Her eyes twinkled.
Sting? “Oh great. What is it, underwear and socks?” Carmen laughed and tore off the same balloon paper to find a Bible engraved with her name. Seriously? What would she do with a personalized Bible?
“I know you’re not into reading the Bible right now, Carmen. But the Lord has promised He’s begun a work in you, so I’m just making sure you have access to Him whenever you might want it.”
“Thanks, Mom. Really.” Mom loved her. She meant well and even held back when she’d prefer to push Carmen toward God. It had to be difficult for Mom, who had such a strong faith. Carmen would cherish the Bible. One of her first grownup gifts ever. Carmen thought of the children’s picture-book Bible she had on her shelf and the family Bibles in Mom’s room. But this one was special because it was all hers; maybe one day she’d even read it.
“Well, I can’t possibly top that. But here’s my gift.” Nate lifted a small box.
It felt a shame to tear off the professional wrapping.
“What?” Carmen turned the box over in her hands. “Is this the newest iPhone? I didn’t even think these were out yet.”
“My dad pulled a few strings.” Nate grinned. “You like?”
“I love!” She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. He loved her and wanted to make her happy. Carmen just knew he’d embrace the idea of being together as a family forever. She couldn’t wait.
“Well.” Mom cleared her throat and twisted her watch around her wrist to read it. “I hate to rush off, but I have a facial to give down the street.” She raised one expertly sculpted eyebrow at Carmen and Nate. “You two behave yourselves, you hear?”
“We’ll be fine. As long as they leave us alone.” Carmen jerked her head toward her little sisters.
“Girls…” Mom gave them her stern look. The look she thought powerful enough to speak volumes but that was actually ignored the moment she turned her back.
“We’ll be good, Mom.” Kimberley winked at Carmen when Mom turned to leave.
“Oh great.” Carmen rolled her eyes at Nate, who laughed.
“Would you like me to walk you to your party, Mrs. Castillo?”
There. Carmen had known it all along. He did think they were slumming it and needed protection. He was right.
“Oh, you’re sweet. I’ll be fine though.” She bent to pick up her pink cases. “Here. If you could just slip this up to my shoulder, that would be great.”
“You sure, Mom? You look kind of like a Pepto-Bismol beacon walking down the street. You sure you’ll be okay? You can’t run fast in those stilettos.”
“They aren’t stilettos, and I’ll be fine. Lock up behind me.” Mom kissed the air once for each of them. “Oh, and take care of the dishes, okay?”
Happy birthday to me. “Sure, Mom.”
Carmen slid the chain into place and then rushed through the dishes. She’d have done them in half the time with the dishwasher at home. Sigh.
Dishes done, Carmen dried her hands and led Nate to the couch. She slid a movie into the Blu-ray player she’d pilfered from Dad’s house and sat down beside him. She played with his hand before raising her eyes to his face. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“What? This?” He gestured to the apartment.
“Yeah. In here. Out there.” She cocked her head toward the street. “All of it.”
“Well, it’s not Briarcliff, but we both knew it wouldn’t be. I don’t think it’s nearly as bad as you described.” Nate looked around. “It could be way worse. And at least we have each other.”
Very true. Carmen nestled into his embrace and settled in to watch the movie. Exactly how it would be every night when they were married. Except when they went out to dinner. They’d go out a lot so Carmen could try out other chefs’ work. Maybe she could even graduate early and start culinary school ahead of time. Get a jump on their future.
The credits ended and still no sign of the girls. Maybe Mom had a talk with them and they intended to leave Nate and Carmen alone. Hah. The bliss wouldn’t last long. They were probably off scheming something at that very moment. But Carmen would enjoy the peace and quiet as long as it lasted.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
What? Who? Carmen jumped from the couch. She looked at Nate. His eyes were wide with shock, too. What had caused that banging?
Knock. Knock.
“This is the police. I need you to open up.”
Carmen gasped. The police? She reached for the handle.
“Hold it.” Nate stepped between her and the door. “Show me some identification, please.” Nate waited, his eye locked on the peephole. After a moment he nodded and opened the door. It jerked when the chain caught, so he shut it, removed the chain, and tried again.
Come on already. What’s going on?
The door swung open. Carmen stared at her mother, rumpled, ragged, and short of breath.
“Mom!” Carmen pulled her mom into the apartment. “What happened to you?” She lifted the straps of one of the Mary Kay suitcases off her mom’s shoulder. Where had the other one gone?
Nate looked at the police officer.
The cop cleared his throat. “She was mugged. She’s okay, just shaken up. I’m going to have to take her statement, but maybe you’d like to make her a cup of tea.”
“Come sit down. Are you hurt?” Carmen led her mother to the dining-room table.
Mom shook her head. “Not really. I twisted my ankle when my shoe broke. And my arm hurts from where he yanked my bag off. But that’s about it.” She chuckled. “Guess I should have let Nate walk me,
huh?”
“Yeah, Mrs. Castillo.” The cop shook his head. “What were you thinking? This isn’t the kind of neighborhood you want to be walking through in high heels in the dark. You were kind of asking for trouble.”
“Oh? So it’s her fault she was assaulted and robbed?” Carmen shrieked. “What if she’d been raped? Would you say a rape was her fault, too?”
“Simmer down, hot sauce. I’m not the enemy here.”
Carmen’s mouth clamped shut. He should be reported for rudeness. She stomped off to the kitchen to make the tea. At least she could still hear and see everything going on.
“Let’s show some respect to the ladies here, sir. Okay?” Nate handed Mom a cool compress for her forehead and squatted down beside her while the cop asked his questions.
Carmen brought her the steaming mug.
Mom held it with two trembling hands and let the steam bathe her face.
“Do you need to go to the hospital, Mrs. Castillo?” Nate looked at Carmen. “I’ll take you right now.”
“Oh no. I don’t think so.” She rotated her ankle and flexed her arm. “No. I’ll be sore, but nothing’s broken.”
“Okay. I think I’ve got all the info I need, but I may be calling if I think of something else. Here’s my card.” The cop placed his hat on his head. “I’ll be in touch if we need something more or if we find the guy.”
But don’t hold your breath. Carmen held out zero hope they’d catch the jerk. But at least Mom was okay.
Harper skipped into the family room. “Hey. Mom’s home. Cool. Let’s all play a game together.” She looked from one face to the next. “Wait. Did something happen?”
“No, sweetie.” Mom patted Harper’s back. “Everything’s fine. Go ahead and pick out a game.”
Harper bounded off, oblivious to the dark world around her.
Must be nice.
“Hey, you. What are you doing out here?” Nate rolled so he faced forward on the couch.
“Shh.” Carmen lifted the quilt. “Scoot over and let me in.”
Nate shifted a few inches and lifted the blanket.
Carmen slid her legs in between his and nestled in against him.
“You’re going to get us in trouble if we get caught out here sleeping together,” Nate whispered. “Your Mom will never let me stay again. You sure that’s such a good idea?”
“I’ll go back soon. I’m not going to fall asleep. Don’t worry. Besides, after the day she had, there’s no way Mom is going to wake up.”
Someday, maybe someday soon, they’d have their own couch in their own apartment, maybe even with a fireplace, where they could cuddle and fall asleep every night. One of them would wake up to find the fire fizzled to embers and lead the other to bed. So grown up. So happy. Family.
Chapter 10
They expected her to do what on that stick? Eww. What if she got some on her hands? Carmen pinched the pregnancy test between her fingers, her gaze traveling from the cotton end to the toilet seat. She tipped the box over and shook it. Were there gloves in there somewhere? Nothing. It was her, the stick, and the toilet.
Well, the test wasn’t going to take itself. She placed the plastic end between her teeth while she shimmied her jeans to a heap on the floor. Now or never.
Okay. Now what? Three minutes until she could read an accurate result. Carmen capped the end, put the test down on the sink, and perched on the edge of the cold porcelain tub, which she’d yet to use in the five weeks they’d lived there, preferring the shower down the hall. She set an alarm on her new iPhone to go off in three minutes. Carmen didn’t want to stare at the stick and watch for the digital display to read PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT. She just wanted one big reveal after the allotted three minutes had passed. But, as with all important things, the waiting was the hardest part. Three minutes stretched in front of her and blended into eternity.
Carmen hoped she was pregnant…didn’t she? Hadn’t a baby been the goal? Then why was she shaking? So much rested on Nate’s reaction to the news. If he didn’t man up, Carmen’s whole plan would backfire, and she’d be left to handle it on her own. Then what would she do? Did they still make those teen mom TV shows? She could get on one of those. The McConnells would want to crawl into a hole. It would almost be worth it just to hear Hillary’s reaction.
Was it too late to back out? Carmen tapped her foot and bit her nail. Hadn’t three minutes passed yet? Didn’t they make those morning-after pills for people who forgot to use protection the night before? What about two-week-after pills? No, even she knew she’d passed the time for measures like that.
If she truly was pregnant, she had only a few options. Have it or don’t. Easy choice between those. She drew the line well before abortion. Ideally, she’d marry Nate and have the baby. If only it were solely her choice to make. She couldn’t force him, and the fact Carmen could end up doing it alone remained a viable possibility. She probably should have thought all the possibilities through before the three-minute clock of doom started ticktocking its way into her future. As though it were the clock’s fault. It had to be someone’s fault—anyone’s but hers.
She didn’t feel pregnant. If she truly were, wouldn’t she be throwing up or something? Then again, she kind of had been constantly nauseous the past couple of weeks And she was definitely late…and she was never late.
BUZZ.
The cell phone vibrated as the alarm sounded its annoyance. Carmen clutched it as she turned it off. Too bad someone else wasn’t there who could look at the results for her. Did it really matter though? She knew what the test would show. But once she confirmed it, there was no going back…ever. She’d be changed for the rest of her life. No matter the outcome. Nate could slough it off. He could walk away. But she couldn’t run from this one.
Cheeks puffed as she exhaled, Carmen reached across the countertop, her bangles clinking on the gold-flecked laminate, and picked up the test with a tissue. She turned it over slowly and closed her eyes for a brief moment before looking.
The tiny window with its plastic shield had so much power. It revealed the fruition of the dreams of countless couples every day, and it dashed the hopes of countless others. In that tiny space the answer to one of life’s biggest questions lay immutable, unchangeable. Once Carmen read the results, she couldn’t ever be restored to her prior self. She would be changed with the truth, or rather, with the knowledge of the truth.
Suspended in her unknown reality, Carmen blinked at the test.
PREGNANT.
Carmen slid from the edge of the bathtub to the floor with a thud. Pregnant. She’d hoped for it, expected it, even wanted it. Then why did a lump settle in her stomach warning of things to come? Why didn’t her spirit soar with the thrill? Stuck with her choice now, for better or worse, she’d have to take some time to get used to it. Carmen would probably deserve it if her diabolical plan backfired on her, yet she clung to threads of hope and visions of a family far, far away from there.
Should she tell Nate right away or wait a few weeks to make sure it stuck? What would he say? Should she call him?
No. She’d have to have this conversation in person, for sure.
Or…maybe not in person. She could send an e-mail—or even a text. Facebook status update?
No. None of that would do. She’d have to face him as soon as possible and hope he didn’t see right through her. What if he suspected she’d done this on purpose? But he had no reason to. She’d always been the one to be paranoid about her pills. He never even asked if she’d been taking them. Because he trusted her. Ugh.
Carmen pried herself from the floor and collected the empty box, wrapper, and instructions. She folded everything together as compact as she could get it then shoved it back into the drug-store sack. She’d bury it at the bottom of the kitchen garbage, under the contents of the yet-unwashed breakfast dishes and a pile of coffee grounds.
Her eyes moved up to the mirror in front of her. Who stared back at her? She barely recognized her as the l
ittle privileged girl who’d had everything.
A human being grew inside her at that very moment. A tiny little baby who would depend on her for everything. What had she done? How could she ever pull this off?
Nate had to come through for her. He just had to. If he did, everything would be okay. But if he didn’t…
“Carmen. She’s downstairs waiting for you. You okay?” Mom gave the door a few light knocks.
“Yeah. I’m fine, Mom. Be right out.” Carmen flushed then ran the water to buy herself a few more moments and shoved the trash into her back pocket. Once she opened the door, she’d be entering a whole new world. A world in which she was somebody’s mother.
Hand on the doorknob, she took a deep breath, opened it, then stepped through.
“You’d better get down there. She’s honked a few times.” Mom handed Carmen her overnight bag and ushered her to the door. The last thing she’d probably want would be to have Tiffany come knocking.
“I never did the dishes though.” How could Carmen throw away the garbage if she couldn’t get to the kitchen?
“I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about anything; just go have fun. I love you.”
“Love you, Mom. See you in a couple of days.” Carmen leaned on her mom for a hug then left the apartment, pulling the door closed behind her. She waited until she heard the chain lock slide into place then dropped her bag onto the floor and zipped it open. She stashed the bag of contraband into the armhole of her favorite NYU sweatshirt then followed another long bleat of the car horn down the stairs.
“What took you so long?” Tiffany scowled as Kimberley leaned forward and pulled the seat against her back so Carmen could climb into the rear.
Carmen ignored her.
“Hey, you.” Nate pulled her close and kissed her neck. “I missed you. I’ve been counting the days until Saturday morning when I could see my girl.”
Embittered Ruby Page 8