Beep. Beep. Beep.
The roller coaster rounded the bend and climbed the steep hill slowly. It perched at the top, the front end tipping over the edge, teasing…taunting…
What? Carmen forced her body upright. She threw the covers off her body and stumbled to the bathroom. Her stomach revolted against the movement. She wanted to lie down and wait for it to pass, but she knew what was coming. She grabbed the door and pulled herself into the restroom, slamming the door behind her. In one motion, she fell to her knees in front of the toilet and flung the handle to turn the bathtub on as a barrier to the evidence of her retching.
The gushing of water from the bathtub faucet masked the sound of her heaves. Deep breaths and calm thoughts came nowhere near to soothing her churning gut. How long would this go on? She’d already thrown up more in the three weeks since her pregnancy test than she had in her entire life put together. If this didn’t end soon, she’d waste away to nothing. At eight weeks pregnant, the websites said she had about four more weeks of morning sickness, and then the second trimester should be easier unless she had it rougher than most. At this rate it would be tough to keep the baby a secret much longer.
Carmen reached across the edge of the tub and into the flow. She cupped her hands and splashed her face. The cool water felt like life. Refreshing, forgiving. Carmen pressed a plush towel into her face and held it there for a moment. Would she ever feel human again? It was like an alien had taken over her body and she had no control over what happened to her. She folded the towel back into place and stepped from the bathroom.
“Ahh!” Carmen reared back at the site of someone leaning against the wall opposite the door, waiting with arms crossed.
Tiffany. Her ponytail, perfect white jeans, and fitted tee made her appear around Carmen’s own age. Yet her eyes held understanding Carmen hadn’t seen before.
“When are you due?” If someone didn’t know her better, Tiffany’s blue eyes might have been mistaken for sympathetic.
How did she know? Should Carmen deny it? “Due? What are you talking about? I’m just…I have the flu. I’m not—”
“Oh come on. I know the signs. I’m an aunt. I have friends who are moms. Trust me. Plus…” Tiffany reached a hand to touch Carmen’s arm. “I found your pregnancy test when I was putting away laundry. The positive result was pretty telling.”
“You found what? You have no right to go through my things. Besides, the test wasn’t even mine.” Good one, Carmen. Only a fool would believe that.
“You expect me to believe a friend of yours took a pregnancy test, which came out positive, and then asked you to hold on to the dirty pee stick for her?” Tiffany raised her eyebrows. “Come on. Really?”
Carmen folded her arms on her chest. She didn’t have to deny or confirm anything. Tiffany had no proof. Well, at least if she didn’t count the positive pregnancy test as proof.
“Look, you need to let us help you. Your dad and I will get you through this. You only need to talk to us. Let us in.”
Who did she think she was, swooping in like some BFF? “I’m not talking to you about anything. Even if there were something to talk about.” Carmen tried to shove past. She had to get out of the hallway before the walls closed in on her.
Tiffany planted her pedicured bare feet shoulder-width apart, blocking Carmen’s exit. “Listen. I know we got off to a bad start. And I get why—I really do. But I’m here. I’m part of your dad’s life; I’m part of your life. And I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled gently, barely setting off the dimple in her right cheek.
Like the friendly approach softened the blow. Nice try.
“Look, I know your secret, and I’m able to help you out. Think about it.” Tiffany touched Carmen’s arm again. “You need someone who’s on your side.”
Carmen fought against the impulse to flinch under the contact. She almost won. Why did it have to be Tiffany who became Carmen’s first confidant? Anyone but her.
Tiffany held Carmen’s gaze with eyes that held no judgment then turned to walk away. “Tiffany?”
She flipped around, eyes dancing with hope. “Yes?”
“You won’t say anything to anyone, will you?”
“Your secret is safe with me. For now.” Tiffany offered a bigger smile. “But eventually—soon, actually—you’re going to have to face this. You can’t avoid it forever.”
Sooner or later. Preferably later.
Chapter 13
Nate, we shouldn’t tell your parents anything yet.” No way. He was begging for trouble before they needed it. They’d never support them; Hillary would make sure of it. Nate just couldn’t see the truth about his mom. Or he didn’t want to see it.
“They deserve to know.” Nate steered his car onto the long driveway and crept to the middle of the U until they were idling in front of the main entrance. “My dad’s going to have to do some political damage control, so I owe him the time to do it before it all goes public.”
Since when did the kid have to watch out for the dad’s career? “I don’t see why you think his political career has anything to do with us. This is your life—and mine.” The more Carmen thought about things, the more convinced she became. If they told his parents, they’d want her to have an abortion. They’d probably offer to pay for it and then help them sweep it under the rug. After the trauma passed, they’d find a way to separate Nate and Carmen. And that would be it.
She had to keep Nate from letting such a thing happen to them.
“Nate, you don’t understand how this thing works. If we wait until the second trimester, which is only one more month away, they’d be less likely to push me to abort the baby because it’s even more frowned upon that late in the pregnancy. Some doctors won’t even do it, so I’d have to go to a slimy clinic, and even your mom couldn’t expect me to do that.” And even if they tried to convince Nate to do it, their reasoning would have no effect on him by then. At least Carmen could hope she was right.
“My parents wouldn’t try to get us to terminate the pregnancy—they don’t believe in abortion. My dad’s pretty much built his career on being pro-life. But even if they did try to get us to abort, it wouldn’t mean we would. We have to do what’s right for us. We’re not going to kill our baby.” Nate patted Carmen’s leg. “That option’s off the table.”
She tried to smile then turned her gaze to the flower beds and landscaping out the car window. Nate underestimated his mother’s power. He’d soon learn.
“It’ll be okay, babe. You’ll be glad when this part is over.”
“We’ll see, I guess.” Carmen took a deep breath and opened the car door. “Here goes nothing.”
Like a lamb to the slaughter, she dragged one lead foot in front of the other and approached the house. “We can still change our minds.”
“Come on.” Nate grabbed Carmen’s hand and barreled through the front door like he was charging toward an end zone. “Mom. Dad,” he called through the house then paused with his ear cocked toward the staircase. “Where are you guys?”
“We’re on our way down.” Mr. McConnell’s voice came from far away.
A far-off door closed, and footsteps sounded on the hardwood upstairs hallway. The steps grew louder as they clicked down the stairs then into the dining room.
“So what’s the big emergency?” Judge McConnell pushed his glasses up an inch so they rested against his forehead above his eyes. Now there was a true four-eyes. “We’ve been so worried ever since we got your call.”
“Yeah. Why all the mystery?” Mrs. McConnell walked right past Carmen and kissed Nate’s cheek.
“Why don’t we sit down?” Nate gestured toward the dining room, his hand on his mom’s elbow.
Hillary gave a hollow laugh. “Why am I so nervous? I can’t remember the last time you called a family meeting, Nate.” Her eyes darted to Carmen with an unspoken question.
Little did she know soon Carmen would be included in every family meeting and function. Even political ones. Oh,
it was going to make Hillary crazy. That fact shouldn’t make Carmen happy…and it didn’t. Much.
The judge sat at the head of the table, his wife to his right. Nate occupied the chair opposite his dad, leaving Carmen to sit beside Hillary. Within choking distance.
Carmen scooted her chair a few inches closer to Nate. Better, but not close enough.
The antique grandfather clock in the foyer bellowed its somber cry three times. Like a death knell.
“Can we get to the point here, son? I have work I need to return to ASAP.” Nate’s dad checked his iPhone.
Nate covered Carmen’s cold hand with his warm one. A flush peeked out from the collar of his shirt and tinged his ears. So he was embarrassed or nervous…or something. Carmen relaxed under the strange consolation of the evidence of Nate’s human emotions. At least he had some awareness of the magnitude of what he was about to tell his parents. His bravado must have been for her sake.
He cleared his throat and squeezed Carmen’s hand.
Here we go. Carmen’s fingertips turned white under Nate’s grip. The silence dragged on. Spit it out, Nate.
“We’re having a baby.”
Time stood still as the words took hold.
The cell phone slipped from the judge’s fingers and banged on the table like a gavel pronouncing them both guilty then bounced to the floor.
“You’re what?” Hillary’s jaw dropped, and she raised her hands to the sides of her face. She turned to Carmen. “How dare you?”
“It takes two, Hillary.” Nate’s dad put his head in his hands.
“Don’t be stupid, Michael. Do you have any idea what this means?”
“Yes. I know exactly what this means. Our son committed a felony by having sex with a minor.”
Ouch.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
Back and forth, like watching a tennis volley. Hillary whopping the balls with her anger, Michael barely getting them back over the net in his sadness.
Mr. McConnell shook his head in disbelief and turned his tired gaze onto Nate. “How did this happen?”
“Seriously, Michael? You need to know how this happened? I’ll tell you. That little tramp threw herself at our son, and now his life is ruined.”
“Mother. Don’t call Carmen names. This was not her fault.”
“Of course it was. She trapped you. Now she probably wants you to marry her, doesn’t she? Smart girl. Anything to leave the slums and crawl her way back to the good life.” Hillary glared at Carmen—once a minor annoyance, now a major adversary who threatened to upset everything the McConnell Empire held dear.
Wow. Hillary was even cleverer than Carmen had given her credit for. Then again, it took a manipulative woman to know one.
“Don’t say anything like that again, Mother.” Nate stood up and paced to the picture windows. “In fact, it would probably be best if you spoke directly to me and left Carmen out of this for now.”
“What are your plans?” Mr. McConnell’s glasses slipped to the center of his nose, where they sat crooked. He made no move to reposition them.
Nate took a deep breath. The veins in his neck throbbed. His eyelashes fell heavy with each blink—as though even blinking his eyes drew from too many resources under the mounting pressure. “We’re going to get married.”
Hillary’s face morphed through denial, fear, sadness, then anger. It stopped on anger. “Over my dead white body.”
White body? Who said that kind of thing? “People are people. Why would you qualify your body with a color as though it were something special because of it?” The words had rushed out of Carmen before she could stop them.
Nate pressed hard into his closed eyes, as though relieving the pressure.
“Hill, you need to get a hold of yourself before you say something you regret. Something we all regret.” Judge McConnell locked eyes with her.
“You worried about protecting your career, Michael? It’s a little late for damage control.” She jerked her head at Nate. “His tramp destroyed any hope of winning your election.”
Nate grabbed Carmen’s hand. “I’ve had it. Mother, I’m taking Carmen out of here. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. I think you need time to consider how you’re acting—it’s embarrassing. I can’t talk to you right now.” He pulled Carmen toward the door. “Know this. We are getting married as soon as possible, and there’s nothing you can do to stop us. Get on board, or don’t. Your choice. It’s happening with or without you.”
My hero.
They made it out to the porch before Carmen turned her watery eyes onto Nate. “I’m so sorry.” The tears began to fall. She really did love Nate, and she did want to marry him and have his baby. But he should have had more say in the matter. Not that she could tell him so now.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He pulled her close and rubbed her shoulder blades. “We’re in this together. For better or worse.”
Dear Nellie,
Hillary McConnell makes me so mad.…I’d honestly love to hit her or pull her hair. That’s how mad she makes me. First of all, she’s a racist. She puts me and Consuelo on the same level and makes it clear that we’re far beneath her status. I wish you could have seen her face when we told her I was pregnant. Her head almost spun around in circles she was so angry. The whole baby thing is almost worth it just to put her through that.
She’s evil.
Love,
Carmen
“Where’s my dad?” Carmen reached behind Tiffany’s back for the coffeepot.
“He had a meeting this morning.” Tiffany cracked an egg into a sizzling skillet. “You know, you shouldn’t be drinking caffeine.”
“So I’ve heard. I guess it just doesn’t seem real to me yet.” What did Tiffany care anyway?
“Well, it will in a few hours. I’m taking you to the doctor.” She glanced up at Carmen as though measuring her reaction.
Don’t think so. At least not yet. Carmen needed more time. “But—”
“Nope. You can’t make me party to putting yourself and the baby in danger.” Tiffany put her hands on her hips. “There won’t be any argument about this. You have to be nearing your second trimester by now. You see a doctor, or I tell everyone what’s going on. We leave in an hour. Be in the car, or I start making calls.”
Of course Tiffany was right. And if Carmen were being honest, she’d have to admit that Tiffany’s move was impressive. But once Carmen saw someone, the bliss of la-la land would be over. She’d have to face facts. But she supposed it was past time. “All right. What will we tell the girls?”
“Oh, easy. I’ll tell them you and I want to have some alone time.” Tiffany wiped the countertop. “I’ll drop them at the mall with fifty bucks each to burn.”
“That should do it.” In fact, it sounded way more fun than a sterile examination room and the judgmental stares of the other moms-to-be.
Oh boy. Carmen couldn’t wait.
“I’m going to shower. I’ll meet you down here in an hour.” Why today? Why couldn’t this have waited?
And shouldn’t Nate go along? Should she call him and ask him to go with her? But it might be humiliating to have to answer all those questions about periods, sex, and due dates. Yeah. Now that she thought about it—it would be mortifying. Maybe she’d be better off doing the first appointment alone. Nate could come to the next one.
Seventy minutes later, Carmen couldn’t stall another second. She plastered a smile on her face and met the rest of the girls at the car. Tucked into the corner of the backseat, Carmen tried to snooze, hoping to avoid questions. She needn’t have worried.
“I have more than you,” Harper taunted and waved her bills at Kimberley.
Kim snorted. “No you don’t. I have two twenties and a ten.”
“I have ten fives.” Harper waved her wad of bills.
“That’s the same amount, dummy.”
“I don’t care. It feels like more.”
The car sto
pped in front of the mall’s food-court entrance, and Kimberley and Harper hopped out. Finally. “Thanks, Tiff. Bye, Carmen.” Harper blew a kiss as Tiffany pulled away from the curb.
Carmen watched the world pass by as the car sped her toward the moment when she’d trade in her youth for a medical chart that proved she’d entered the adult world. Even though she’d asked for it, it was surreal.
What would little Harper say about Carmen moving out, getting married, and having a baby? Her big sister sure hadn’t set a very good example for her. How about Kim? She kept her problems bottled up—there was no way to know for sure how Kim felt about things. Carmen feared she’d take it the hardest.
“Here we are.” Tiffany sounded way too cheery for the occasion.
Duh. “I can see that.”
Tiffany steered the car into the parking space with the stork sign for expectant moms. “Might as well use the perks that come with your condition.” She turned the ignition and slipped the keys into her purse.
Lighten up on the cheer, Tiffany. It’s so annoying. Carmen made no move to get out of the car until Tiffany knocked on her window. “Coming?”
Sigh. Carmen opened her door and put one foot on the pavement. Then the other. Her legs felt like lead. She really just needed to get this over with, but it was so hard to move.
“Come on, pick up your feet. Shuffling along just draws attention to yourself. Be confident.” Tiffany poked Carmen in the ribs.
Carmen didn’t laugh. Though Tiffany had a point—hmm, twice in one day. If Carmen acted like she shouldn’t be there, then people would assume she shouldn’t. But how did they know how old she was, really? And there’d be no way they could know she was there because she was pregnant. She could be getting her annual exam or might have an infection of some kind. Oh, right, like an STD? Yeah, there was a better option.
With only three people waiting in chairs and one person standing at the desk, the office wasn’t nearly as packed as Carmen had expected. Not so bad. She could do this.
Eww. Carmen nudged Tiffany. “Look at that lady. Three o’clock.”
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