Embittered Ruby

by Nicole O'Dell

  Daddy gasped. “That’s wonderful, angel. I’m so proud of you.”

  Where had that come from? “You are? But you don’t get into all that God stuff. You never have.”

  “Well, I never have, but I’ll look into it if it’s something important to you. I should have a long time ago. It’s probably what made your mom such a better person than I am.”

  Carmen couldn’t help but steal a glance at Mom’s face in her video box.

  Mom’s teeth clamped down hard on her lip. Smart woman.

  “I’m glad to hear that, Dad. I figured you’d laugh it off as a crutch or just the next phase I’d go through.”

  He shook his head. “No. This is different. My baby is growing up.” He smiled. “Hey, how about we start going to church together when you move home?”

  “I’d love that so much.”

  “Now I have some news for you.”

  Oh boy. He and Tiffany are getting married. “What is it?” It would be okay. She could handle it. “Tiff and I broke up.”

  “What?” Carmen forced her voice lower than the shout she wanted to release. “You broke up? Why?” She sure hadn’t seen that one coming.

  “We wanted different things out of life, and I didn’t like who I’d become to my family. So I’m going to focus on my girls for a while and not worry about dating.” Dad smiled. “Does that sound okay to you?”

  “Yeah, totally. I mean, Tiffany had some good qualities. She turned out not to be as horrible as I thought. But she wasn’t a mom. She wasn’t Mom.” Carmen glanced to the webcam vignette just to the right of Dad’s face.

  “Mom, does this mean…? Are you and Dad…you know?”

  “No. Not right now. Who knows what the future holds? But we’re taking it all one day at a time. With our hearts and minds on you girls most of all.”

  Carmen let that thought wash over her. Bliss.

  “Speaking of girls, I have two sitting outside the door to this room who are desperate to talk to their big sis.”

  “Bring ‘em on.”

  Mom stepped out of the frame. A few moments later two grinning girls took her place.

  Carmen’s heart swelled. “Kim. Harper. I missed you both so much.”

  Harper looked at Kim. “Ready? One. Two. Three.” “WE MISS YOU!”

  The computer crackled as it strained to cope with the decibels coming from her sisters’ lungs. Carmen laughed. “Wow. Thanks, guys.”

  She focused her stare on Kim. “Are you keeping it together? Remembering your promise to me?”

  “Yeah. I guess.” Kim averted her eyes.

  What did that mean? “Kim. Look at me.” She waited until Kim looked into the camera. “You’re scaring me. Tell me what’s happening.”

  Mom and Dad grew strangely quiet as if waiting for a verdict to be handed down.

  “No. I mean, I’m good. I just wish you’d been here to help me through some things lately. I thought that was what big sisters were for.”

  Carmen nodded. “It is. And I will be soon. Please keep hanging in there and doing the right thing. Please. Promise?”

  “I promise.” Kim smiled. “I’ll make you proud of me.”

  “I am proud.” Carmen ached for her annoying little sisters. As much as they bugged her sometimes, they were family.

  “When are you coming home?” Harper whined. “It’s been too long.”

  “I agree. Way too long. But I still don’t know when I’ll be home. How about we make it a goal that I get there for your birthday in August? I can’t promise anything, but I’ll do my very best.” Carmen held up a fist. “Deal?”

  Harper pretended to bump knuckles. “Deal.”

  Dearest Nellie,

  You’ve been a good friend to me. A sounding board, a listening ear. But just knowing you were there kept me looking for the worst in people so I had something to report back to my best friend. But the time has come that we must part ways. Look, I have to move on. I’ve decided to change the way I approach life. I want to be bias positive rather than bias negative about everything and everyone. I want to love people, embrace their good qualities, and be

  intrigued by their uniqueness.

  This feels like a breakup. In many ways I guess it is. Thanks for all the laughs.

  Love,

  Carmen

  Chapter 40

  Well hello there, stranger.” Theresa dusted off her jeans as she rose from her seat on the foyer stairs just as prayer time ended.

  Carmen gasped. Wow. She pulled Theresa close for a hug. “It’s awesome to see a familiar face from home.” Not that Hackensack was home…or was it?

  Theresa let her gaze travel up and down Carmen’s body. “You look good. Softer. Happier, maybe. I can’t tell what’s different.”

  “Yeah, thanks. That’s how I feel.” Carmen examined Theresa. “You look exactly the same.” High hair, tight clothes, lots of makeup and accessories. “Jersey couture.”

  “Hey.” Theresa’s bottom lip poked out in a pretend pout.

  “I’m just teasing, T.” Carmen nodded toward the dining hall. “You hungry?”

  “Famished.”

  “You’re going to love breakfast here.” Carmen ushered her toward the smell of bacon. “How long are you staying?”

  “We’re here for two weeks.”

  “What about school? Can you miss that much?”

  “Believe it or not, I’m sort of homeschooling now. My mom and dad started up a charter school at my church, and a bunch of us are going there.” Theresa smiled. “They’re doing all they can to keep us out of trouble so we can go to college.”

  “Is that like a private school?”

  “Yep. We even have private schools in the slums of New Jersey.” Theresa winked.

  Wonder if Kimberley could go there instead of public school. Carmen would have to ask Mom the next time they spoke. “So how did you get hooked up to come here?” Carmen grabbed a tray and two cartons of orange juice.

  “It’s missions work, which is part of our schooling.” Theresa shrugged. “It’s a construction project, so I expect they’ll keep me pretty busy. But that’s okay—that’s what I’m here for.”

  “Construction on what?” Carmen motioned for Theresa to grab a tray and slide it along the steel bars while she selected her food.

  “I think Ben’s going to announce it soon. They’re doing something with that empty building out back. I’m not sure what.” She shrugged. “Dad said Ben’s been talking about it for years. Whatever it is.”

  “Cool.” Carmen led her to the table with Kira, Tricia, and Roxy then pulled up an extra chair. “Have a seat. Let me introduce you to my friends.”

  The introductions went around the table. How neat to be able to call each of these people a real friend. She felt…rich.

  But one question still niggled at Carmen. “Hey, Theresa, can I ask you something else?”

  Theresa nodded. “Sure.”

  “Back a couple of months when we went out that night with Diego, remember that night?” “Sure.”

  “Who was that dude in the backseat by you? Diego wouldn’t tell me. He called him a ghost.”

  Theresa sighed. “I knew you were going to ask about him. He was bad news. A local drug dealer and a pimp.”

  A pimp? Right there in the car with her? How scary.

  Theresa eyed Carmen. “He wanted you. Diego had to buy him off with drugs, or he was gonna have you one way or another.”

  Could that be true? That would explain why Diego ran in the house without her. To think she’d come so close to such danger. “Typical New Jersey.” Carmen shook her head.

  Theresa’s eyes narrowed. “Um. The dude was from Queens.”

  “You’re kidding.” So Carmen left upstate New York to move to New Jersey, where she expected gang violence and drugs. But one of her biggest threats had come from New York?

  “Yeah, girl, you gotta get off New Jersey’s back. Especially Hackensack. Just because people don’t have as much money as they do up
state, and just because their houses aren’t as big—though Jersey has some mansions, too—don’t make them killers or bangers. People are people.”

  People are people. Hadn’t Carmen used those exact words in retaliation against Nate’s mom when her prejudice became so glaringly clear? This was different, though. Right?

  Carmen raised a finger. “Hold on. If the dude from Queens was after me, why did Diego have me in the car with him?”

  “Yeah, it was awkward. Diego didn’t find out until we were waiting for you to change your clothes and come out.” Theresa picked at her food. “I was afraid for you even then. But Diego took care of it. You never did hear from that dude, did you?”

  “No. Diego took care of it.” Hopefully his solution wasn’t a permanent one.

  Oh, catch her before she leaves. “Donna, can we talk?” Carmen blocked her exit out the back door.

  “Sure. I’m just going for a little walk. Want to come?” Donna zipped her red parka. “I can wait for you out there if you want to grab your coat.”

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.” Carmen raced up to her room. The last thing she wanted was anything to do with a cold and snowy mountain after the stormy hike she took in arctic January. But it was worth it if Donna could help her figure some things out. She slipped her jacket over her arms as she rushed back to the door where Donna said she’d be waiting.

  “Ready?” Donna shouted from the pasture when she saw Carmen step out. “Come on, I want to show you something.” She set off in a direction Carmen had never walked before.

  It didn’t even look like there was a path. Hope Donna knew the way.

  “So what’s up?” Donna grinned, her cheeks already pink from the crisp wind.

  “How do you define prejudice?”

  Donna’s head jerked back in surprise. “Hmm. Good question. To me, prejudice is making a value judgment or setting an expectation on someone based on irrelevant factors like race, sex, body type, income, geographic location…stuff like that. Does that make sense?”

  Carmen wanted to throw up. She was just as guilty as Hillary McConnell. “I am what I’ve accused others of being.” How had she missed it?

  “Ah. I see.” Donna smiled. “Another layer of self-realization, huh?”

  “Yeah. That stupid book I’ve been writing. The things I said about and thought about Leila because of her weight and appearance.” Carmen shook her head. “Oh no. All that I’ve thought about Hackensack and New Jersey—and the people who live there.” How could she be exactly like the person she hated most?

  “And the light dawns.” Donna smiled.

  “You know, it’s funny. I’ve been blasting Hackensack, but it was there that I met two of the best people I know. Theresa and Diego. True friends.”

  Carmen’s voice caught as she tried to catch her breath. “You know, Briarcliff Manor and Ossining has something ridiculous like three percent Mexican, and most of those were probably hired help. I was the subject of prejudice there, and then I turned around and handed it down. I even thought I was above Nate’s Mexican maid because I lived in that town and she only worked there.”

  Donna nodded.

  “What can I do about this?” There had to be a way to fix it.

  “Okay. Here’s where I’ll step in.” Donna paused and closed her eyes for a moment. “Life is full of mistakes. We each make them every single day. We’re all flawed individuals. The best thing we can do for ourselves and for the Kingdom of God is to be open for growth. Open to hear from God and receive conviction from the Holy Spirit.”

  Carmen nodded. “I think that’s what I’m going through right now.”

  “Right. There’s a story in the Bible about a woman caught in adultery. Jesus forgave her and told her to go and sin no more. He didn’t send her back to fix the problem because some things just can’t be fixed. You can’t go make amends with an entire town or state. You can’t change people’s thinking, and you can’t undo what’s done.”

  “But that sounds so hopeless.” Carmen kicked at the snow.

  “Well, what you can do is pray that you’d have the opportunity to right any wrongs that are possible. That God would lead you to individuals who are ready to hear or receive an apology. Start there.” Donna took Carmen’s hand. “And like Jesus said to the adulteress, go and sin no more.”

  “What did he say? Just come outside—no explanation?”

  Carmen pulled her parka on then shoved her hands into her gloves.

  Tricia shrugged. “You know Ben, always after the drama.”

  “I think it’s about the building project.” Theresa stepped in line with the other two on their way to the stable. “I mean, my group’s been here for a couple of hours—we kind of need to know what we’re going to be doing.”

  Made perfect sense. They rounded the corner past the barn doors and then stepped up to a clearing where Ben stood atop a tree stump.

  “Why are we here?” Carmen shielded her eyes from the sun.

  “Gather around, folks. I have an announcement.”

  Carmen surveyed the crowd. Olivia smiled and waved. Justin averted his eyes. Not quite over the whole situation apparently. Should Carmen approach him? Try to fix it? Or let it go and give it time? Well, she’d never actually apologized directly to him—only to Olivia. She’d have to find a moment to talk with him later.

  There were Ginny and Mark Stapleton standing beside Ben and Alicia. Mark held a gleaming pair of scissors near a long yellow ribbon that ran the length of the building behind them.

  Ben clapped his hands for attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, I have an exciting announcement. Through much prayer and counsel with the Diamond Estates executive board…”

  There was an executive board?

  “…we’ve decided to move ahead with the expansion of Diamond Estates. Construction will begin today to turn this dilapidated outbuilding in front of you into a fortress for hurting girls.”

  That pile of rubble? It would take a miracle.

  “It will be a spiritual boot camp of sorts. A first stop on the way into the heart of Diamond Estates for a very select group of needs.”

  Ben ran his hand through his hair. “Over the years we’ve seen the importance of the more spiritually mature girls pouring into the lives of the newer girls as sort of mentors; in fact we train them to do that.”

  Like the day Tricia brought Roxy horseback riding. She must have been on assignment. Carmen glanced at Tricia and smiled.

  “But we have to be sensitive to some of the more intense needs that the big house, for lack of a better term, can’t handle.”

  Kira’s hand shot up in the air.

  “Yes?” Ben nodded in her direction.

  “What types of things can’t be handled at the main center? What kinds of problems will send girls there?” She tipped her head at the rundown structure.

  “Let me explain.” Ben smiled. “One step at a time. This building behind me was once a medical facility, a dispensary, if you will. That means it’s already divided up into small rooms and has water and electricity. It has a solid foundation, and it’s basically intact. It simply needs love. That’s what our team from New Jersey has come to help with. Between all of us, we believe we can have it sparkling in two weeks.”

  Carmen nudged Theresa. “Looks like we’ll all be helping.” She laughed. At one time she’d have resented Ben’s assumption. Carmen warmed at the evidence of core change within her heart. It was happening right before her eyes.

  “As for the types of girls, we’re talking drug addicts, people with severe depression, suicidal girls, even girls with strong spiritual strongholds in activities like witchcraft.” Ben ticked the list off on his fingers. “Anyone who needs some time of intense spiritual, mental, or physical help before entering the mainstream Diamond Estates program.” He surveyed the crowd. “Now what do you think?”

  This was a good move. Smart. Carmen lifted her hands and began to clap. Several joined in. Others followed. Carmen raised her hand. “But
who will run that part of things?”

  “Good thinking, Carmen. It will clearly need to have its own staff and an even smaller staff-to-teen ratio. The director of the Diamond Intensive Program will be Mark Stapleton, and the medical manager will be his wife, Ginny, who is a now a nurse practitioner. She will oversee the medical needs of the entire campus.”

  He paused and grinned. “And I have one more announcement that makes me especially grateful. My lovely wife”—he held up Alicia’s hand—”will be joining us full-time here. We tried to go with only myself and two other counselors after Patty left us last year. But it’s just not enough, especially with all the changes coming.”

  Donna and Tammy clapped. Everyone laughed.

  Ben grinned and pulled his wife close. “So, Alicia is leaving her job at the hospital as of next week and will come on as a counselor/nurse. She’ll be the Donna-Tammy to the Intensive center and available for any medical needs that arise.”

  Alicia beamed. “My heart has been here with you girls all this time. I’m so grateful to God that He’s blessed us and this ministry enough for me to be able to leave my outside job and come here to serve beside my husband and love you all.”

  The group broke into applause. It would be so great to have Alicia around all the time.

  “Any other questions?” Ben gazed around the group.

  Carmen shrugged. “Where’s a shovel?”

  Chapter 41

  Hey, Nater.” Carmen sat on the floor outside Ben’s office. She leaned on the wall and closed her eyes. “Hey, C. It’s so good to hear your voice. How are you calling me, though? You didn’t run away again, did you?”

  Carmen almost forgot to listen to the words as she reveled in the sound of Nate’s familiar voice. Therein lay the problem. Too familiar. “No. I didn’t leave. Things here are going really well.” “That’s great. I wish I were there.” So did Carmen.

  “But how are you calling me?” Nate’s pep transformed into doubt.

  “I got special permission to make this one call. So we could talk.” Carmen waited for Nate to realize the reason. He was too smart not to.