Embittered Ruby

by Nicole O'Dell

  Was it okay to talk out loud? The thing continued moving after a brief pause. It paused over the letter E. “Me? Is that what it’s saying? What does that mean?” Joy shook her head, blond wisps sticking to her lip gloss. “I’m done. Seriously this time.” She stood and reached over Raven’s head to flip on the light.

  “For now.” Raven licked both thumbs and forefingers and squeezed the flames, extinguishing them with a sizzle.

  “No, for good. I’m done messing with this stuff. It freaks me out.” Joy shivered and pulled her sweater tight around her body.

  Raven shrugged as she folded the board and slid it under her bed. “There’s not a lot you can do about it now. You’ve had a taste, and you’ll want more.”

  “Hey! Joy’s back.” Coach Templeton waved from the other side of the volleyball court.

  Several players stepped aside as Joy jogged toward her trying not to inhale the familiar gym aroma so she wouldn’t totally lose it. What was it about smells that stimulated emotions more than the other senses?

  “Good to have you back.” Heather patted Joy’s shoulder.

  “Yeah. Glad you’re here.”

  “Right. Me too.”

  Joy nodded, but kept her eye on Coach. It was the only way she’d get through the practice. She ducked under the net and met Coach mid-court.

  “How you holding up, kiddo?”

  Way to go right for the jugular. Joy’s eyelids were hummingbird wings as she fought back the ever-present tears. “I’m good, I guess. I mean, look at me.” She gestured the length of her body. “I’m perfect. But Melanie…well, she’s another story.” The tears rolled down Joy’s cheeks. She could do nothing to hold them back.

  Coach slipped an arm across Joy’s shoulders and steered her toward her office. “Go on in and have a seat. I’ll be right in.” She turned toward the team stretching on the court. “Lauren, you’re the…um…new captain…so put everyone through some drills. I’ll be right out.”

  New captain. Melanie’s position. She’d loved that the team had thought so highly of her to vote her as captain. Well, why not? Mel was the best person Joy ever knew. And Melanie felt the same about Joy. They’d sure told each other plenty of times. Until two weeks ago.

  Coach Templeton closed the door, sealing out the sound of bouncing balls and shoes squeaking on the gymnasium floor. Noises that reverberated until they blended into one perfect sound called volleyball. Would Joy ever love the game again? Could she let herself love anything again?

  “So. How are you, really?”

  Dead inside. Alone. “I don’t know. What you’d expect, I guess.”

  “I can imagine how hard this must be.”

  Joy nodded. Coach couldn’t possibly imagine. Not unless her best friend had committed suicide. Not unless she had been the one to find her dead and then have to break the news to her best friend’s parents? No. Probably not. That stuff only happened in Lifetime movies. Or Joy’s life.

  “Are you seeing anyone?” Coach almost whispered.

  Joy recoiled. “You mean like dating?” What kind of question was that? Like Joy would ever date again.

  Coach shook her head. “No, no. I mean like a counselor.”

  Joy shrugged. “My parents offered. But the pastor said it’s nothing we can’t handle with God. Thinks I don’t need counseling.”

  “God is great, but even He talked about getting counsel from wise people and all that good stuff. You should really consider it.” Coach peered into Joy’s eyes. “I think you have what’s called survivor’s guilt. It’s normal. But it stinks.”

  You think? Joy nodded. “I’ll talk to my mom about it.”

  “That’s all I ask. Now. You ready to play some V-ball?”

  The thought of stepping out onto that court among her friends—Melanie’s friends—without her there, made the bile rise to Joy’s throat. She whipped her head side to side. “I can’t. Not yet.” She searched the room for an escape. Great. One way in, one way out.

  “That’s fine, kiddo. Baby steps. You’ll play next time.” Coach stood. “Come on, I’ll walk you out so you don’t get a barrage of questions on your way.”

  If only there were answers.

  Joy sat on a pillow in the center of Raven’s candle-lit room. Why had she agreed to do this again? “Um. What, exactly, do we hope happens here tonight?”

  Lucas plopped down to the ground and gave his signature grin—the same sneer he’d had since second grade. “We are reaching out to the spirit who tried to talk to you guys the other night.” He opened the Ouija board and placed it in the center of their human triangle. The glass piece in place, he settled his hands in position and waited.

  Raven reached her fingers to the board, and laid them beside Luc’s, barely touching his pinkie.

  Oh please.

  Joy cracked her knuckles and settled her hands in place. Just get it over with.

  “Spirit friend, we know you’re with us. We’d like to know who you are. Will you please tell us?” Lucas looked into the flame.

  Joy felt movement as her arm was pulled along the board until the glass stopped over a letter.

  M

  Here we go again. Joy lifted some of the weight off her fingertips. She sure didn’t want to be the cause of where the planchette moved. She glanced at Raven who stared at Lucas, as usual. When he was around, no one else existed. If they only knew. Joy’s stomach churned. Never again would she care about a boy that much. Ever.

  Lucas cleared his throat. “Do you feel that?” He spoke in even tones and looked at Raven. “There’s like a low rumble, a hum maybe, in the room.”

  Yeah. Probably the furnace, you idiot.

  “I do feel it.” Raven closed her eyes and lifted her face.

  Oh please. What did she want? A ghostly kiss on the cheek? In better times, Joy would have giggled at the thought of playing a trick on her. But not today…maybe never. Just too much effort.

  The triangle continued its path on the board.

  E

  “See, Luc? That’s what it said last time. Me. What is it trying to tell us?”

  “Shh.” Lucas shook his head. “It’s not finished, yet.” He closed his eyes. “Are you still identifying yourself to us?”

  With force Joy hadn’t been expecting, the glass eye slid to the Yes.

  What had just happened? It sure seemed real…it had to be Lucas or Raven making that thing move. It had to be. But it sure didn’t seem like it. Joy searched her friends’ eyes for a clue to the truth.

  Raven chewed on her lower lip. Was she nervous?

  “Okay. It’s getting irritated. Feels interrupted.” Lucas sat up straighter. “We’re listening, spirit. Tell us who you are.”

  Back to the normal speed of death, their hands eased along until they revealed another letter.

  L

  What if it was real? Pastor Joel talked about the spirit world sometimes. It made sense that if God existed like she’d always believed, the dark side would too. Joy watched in fascination as her hands were drawn to the next letter.

  A

  It paused for only a few seconds and dropped to the letter below.

  N

  Wait just a second. Was this some kind of sick joke? Joy looked from Raven to Lucas. Were they in on this together? How undeniably cruel to make that thing spell out…“Come on—”

  “Shh,” Lucas hissed, his eyes trained on the space above his gnawed fingernails.

  I

  Joy would never speak to them again. Simple as that. But then why didn’t she just leave? Why let them finish out their ruse at her expense?

  Lucas nodded at Raven and lifted his hands. He reached across the table and lifted Joy’s fingers as Raven removed hers.

  The planchette moved a few inches.

  All. By. Itself.

  Horror filled the pit of Joy’s stomach. Everything she ever believed about life, death, God, and heaven crumbled into purgatory as a game claimed her faith.

  E

  Cha
pter-by-Chapter Discussion Guide

  CHAPTER 1

  1. Describe Carmen’s attitude about the move. Is she justified in feeling like she does? How would you feel in the exact same situation?

  2. What does Carmen assume Nate’s family thinks about her? Why do you think she assumes what she does? Is there evidence in the story to support that?

  3. Describe the faith element in Carmen’s family.

  4. How do you feel about teenagers being on birth control?

  Why?

  CHAPTER 2

  1. What signs, if any, do you see that indicate Carmen’s relationship with Nate is inappropriate or sinful?

  2. Why do you think Carmen is concerned about two missed pills?

  3. Is it right that Carmen’s dad knows she’s on birth control but her mom doesn’t?

  CHAPTER 3

  1. Who’s Nellie, and what’s her role in Carmen’s life?

  2. Describe the different behaviors of the three sisters.

  3. Is there something Carmen could do to help her sisters through the divorce? Or is she the only one hurting?

  CHAPTER 4

  1. How does Carmen feel about Tiffany?

  2. What makes that relationship so strained?

  3. Who’s more at fault? Carmen’s mom, dad, Tiffany, or Carmen herself? Why?

  4. Is there evidence in the story that proves Tiffany is the one who got Carmen kicked out of the club?

  5. How would you describe Carmen’s treatment of her dad at the end of this chapter? Is it fair or not?

  CHAPTER 5

  1. Do you think Diego is really looking out for Carmen? Or does he have ulterior motives?

  2. What do you think the chances are that Carmen could be successful in getting her parents back together? Do you think it’s a wise plan?

  3. Was her father truly clueless about what was going on between Tiffany and his daughter, or did he just want to ignore it and hope the situation would fix itself?

  4. How did Tiffany undermine Carmen’s role in her dad’s life?

  5. What plot does Carmen devise to force Nate to marry her?

  CHAPTER 6

  1. Describe the perceived differences between Carmen’s new school and her old school.

  2. How would you have handled Marco?

  3. How do you feel about Carmen’s plan?

  4. Would it ever be fair, even if the couple were married, to do something like that behind someone’s back?

  5. How important is honesty and trust in a relationship?

  CHAPTER 7

  1. If Hillary McConnell knows Spanish, why does she ask Carmen to communicate with Consuelo for her?

  2. Compare Hillary’s prejudices with Carmen’s.

  CHAPTER 8

  1. Describe Carmen’s general feelings about church.

  2. How important is appearance to you? Compare that to Tricia’s situation and how physical expectations drove her to take drastic measures.

  3. How can unbelief control your life?

  CHAPTER 9

  1. Between Theresa and Kayla, who was closer to the mark when trying to figure Carmen out?

  2. Carmen was nervous about Nate’s reaction to her new home. Is there anything in your life you’re ashamed to let your friends see? Something material, or even something internal?

  3. Is it your hang-up, or is it something your friends have caused?

  4. Carmen does a lot of sneaking around behind her mom’s back, and now even in her own home. How do you feel about her sneaking out to the couch where Nate was sleeping?

  CHAPTER 10

  1. Describe Carmen’s thoughts during the wait for the pregnancy test results.

  2. Is it logical that she felt some twinges of doubt and regret? Or do you think she should deal with it because she brought it on herself?

  3. At this point, before you know the outcome, how do you think Nate will respond to the baby news?

  CHAPTER 11

  1. How do you feel about abortion?

  2. How does God feel about abortion? See Psalm 137 and 139.

  3. What about adoption? What are your thoughts on that? What do you think about the conclusion Nate and Carmen arrive at when they touch on the possibility of adoption?

  4. What do you think the chances are of this marriage working?

  CHAPTER 12

  1. Is it okay for Carmen to be hanging out with Diego without knowing the full story of his past?

  2. Do you think her “friendship” with Diego is inappropriate considering Nate has no idea he exists?

  3. What do you think about Tiffany’s reaction to the baby? Does it alter your impressions of her at all?

  CHAPTER 13

  1. Did Nate’s parents react the way Carmen expected them to?

  2. Why do you think Nate doesn’t see the truth about his mom?

  3. Do you think this situation might open his eyes a little?

  4. Does the commandment to honor your father and mother extend to things like what Hillary is doing?

  CHAPTER 14

  1. What did you think Hillary wanted to see Carmen about?

  2. Is it smart or unfair for Carmen to plan to record the meeting?

  3. What do you think about Hillary’s offer? What is motivating her to behave that way?

  4. Should Carmen have taken the money?

  CHAPTER 15

  1. Tiffany took Carmen to the doctor. Was that cool of her or intrusive?

  2. When in this whole process would you have involved your mom?

  CHAPTER 16

  1. Do you think Carmen has any right to worry about what Kim is up to? Should she just leave her alone?

  2. Is it really necessary for Carmen to pretend Diego is her boyfriend? If so, why? If not, why do you think she continues?

  3. Diego calls the stranger in the car a ghost. Who do you think he is?

  CHAPTER 17

  1. Hillary has photos, Carmen has a recording. Who was right? Who was wrong?

  2. Do you think it was okay for Carmen to talk to Nate’s mom like she did?

  3. How do you think Nate should handle this situation?

  4. Nate finds out about Diego. What do you think of his reaction?

  5. Why did Carmen and Nate go to her dad rather than her mom to get permission to marry? Was that sneaky or perfectly fine?

  6. How might she have handled things with Mom a little better?

  CHAPTER 18

  1. Carmen is in a pretty tough situation with Marco and his buddies. What’s the first thing you’d do under the same circumstances?

  2. When she gets out of there, what does she do? What should she do?

  3. If Diego died, would it be her fault?

  4. Should she have told Nate what happened? Why or why not?

  5. What about the blood? Should she have told him that?

  CHAPTER 19

  1. Do you think it’s safe for Carmen to play tennis?

  2. Was it her fault she lost the baby?

  3. Do you think Nate would forgive her if she told him everything right away?

  4. Do you think it was worse for her because of how he actually found out?

  CHAPTER 20

  1. Is Carmen’s mom’s tough-love approach a good thing or a bad thing? Why?

  2. Why is she handling it that way?

  3. How does Carmen feel about Diamond Estates in general?

  4. How does she feel about going there herself?

  CHAPTER 21

  1. Ben tells of a teenage pregnancy in his past. Is Carmen able to apply his and Alicia’s success at moving past their bad choices to her own life yet?

  2. What are Carmen’s thoughts about Leila?

  3. In what ways do they compare to Hillary’s thoughts about Carmen?

  4. Carmen acts tough, even in her thoughts, but how do you think she’s really feeling about checking in to Diamond Estates?

  5. What evidence is there to support your opinion?

  CHAPTER 22

  1. What did Ben mean by the idea of
free will?

  2. How did it relate to what Carmen had said?

  3. What did Ju-Ju’s graffiti represent?

  4. Would you have walked into the secret passageway?

  CHAPTER 23

  1. What would you do if faced with Carmen’s current predicament of being locked out?

  2. What do you think Leila’s story might be at this point?

  CHAPTER 24

  1. Do you think the phrase “fake it till you make it” applies in any real way to Christianity?

  2. Is it fair to punish Carmen for missing prayer time when she is admittedly not a Christian?

  3. Was the punishment fair?

  4. Why did Carmen say Marilyn was a sneaky one?

  CHAPTER 25

  1. How does Carmen feel about worship in general?

  2. How does she describe the worshippers in the youth service on her first Sunday at church?

  3. Do you think Carmen will last at Diamond Estates until spring?

  CHAPTER 26

  1. How do you think God feels about Carmen at this stage of her journey? See Luke 19.

  CHAPTER 27

  1. Carmen wondered if she’d have to face her baby one day and explain what had happened. What do you think about that?

  2. Donna asks Carmen to choose one or two words to describe her actions. What words does she choose?

  3. What two words would you choose to describe yourself?

  4. What is one way Carmen shows prejudice in her own thoughts in this chapter?