Hearts Are Wild

by Synithia Williams

  “Come on. Let’s find a better place to view the parade. I want to be closer to the school when the kids get off the fire truck.” She grabbed his hand and began to walk quickly.

  “Shannon, who is that guy? ’Cause, first impression? He looks like a jerk.”

  “That is my ex-father-in-law.” She kept walking, her eyes looking straight ahead, shoulders rigid. “And, yes, he is a jerk.”

  • • •

  It felt like a huge cloud now blocked out the sun. Shannon shivered. She stopped walking, closing her eyes when Dean drew her close, rubbing her bare shoulder. He knew just how to make her feel better. For the briefest of moments, she let herself lean into his touch. If she were a cat, she might have purred.

  “What was that all about back there?” His voice was soft in her ear.

  “Don’t worry about it. We’re supposed to be having fun, right?” She flashed him a smile that she hoped looked genuine. Dean’s frown told her she’d missed the mark.

  “I’m not trying to be pushy. I know it’s none of my business. But, Shannon—” He tugged her off the sidewalk, into the shadowed doorway of the real estate office. “That guy had hate written all over his face.”

  “You noticed that too?” She leaned against the door, trying to brace herself against the nerves that threatened to rattle her teeth loose.

  “How did things end? Do you mind talking about it?”

  “To be honest, it didn’t really involve Hollis. I don’t know what that guy’s issue is.” She reached for Dean’s hand again. “Let’s go snag that spot under the big oak.”

  Their end of the parade route was finally beginning to fill up. Children lined the sidewalks, waving small flags. Behind them were rows of chairs, two deep. Then there were the shop owners and their families, hanging out in their doorways. For a small town, the 4th of July parade had an amazing turnout.

  Shannon and Dean sat beneath the mighty oak, digging their heels into the soft grass, so as not to slide down the slight hill into the crowd in front of them. She took off her backpack, rummaged inside, and drew out a couple bottles of water. Dean took his and tapped it against the other bottle in cheers. She took a few swallows, gathering her thoughts.

  “We were high school sweethearts. We didn’t think anything would tear us apart. Then college acceptance letters started coming in.” Her smile turned wistful. “I got into Lyndon State in Vermont. Vince got into USM, just an hour away.”

  “You gave up your own dreams to help him follow his.”

  “All I wanted to do was be a teacher. Not exactly a lofty career ambition. Vince was going to be a doctor. He was going to be somebody.” Shannon was surprised to realize that her voice still held that same touch of pride, defensiveness for her old flame.

  “By the time we found out we’d be in different states, it was too late for me to apply for the fall semester at USM. When he found out I was willing to drop my college plans and follow him up to Portland, Vince melted. He said he felt so honored.” Shannon plucked a blade of grass, rolling and unrolling it over her finger.

  “We got married that summer, just before school started. My mom was happy for us, but a little worried that we were starting life so young. Vince’s parents didn’t care for the fact that their son was marrying so early, but as long as he remained focused on his studies, they let it go.

  “I got a couple of jobs waitressing so we could afford an apartment just off campus.”

  “And what did Vince do?” Dean’s voice was gruff, low.

  “He studied. He kept his grades up.” Shannon shook her head, raising her shoulders in silent question.

  “So when was it your turn? When did you get to start your college career?” Dean turned her to face him. Shannon tried to laugh off the question, but the laughter got caught in her throat when he slipped a finger under her chin and forced eye contact.

  “We never had enough money for me to take classes. It was all earmarked for Vince. Vince had the future. I could always go to college once he got his career established. Then I found out I was pregnant. We were thrilled. He was thrilled—really. It was May and Vince had just gotten out of school for the summer. We were looking forward to bonding over the summer with my growing belly.” She smirked.

  “He came with me to the ultrasound. I was ten weeks along. We were hoping to hear the baby’s heartbeat.” Dean seemed to sense that this is where things started to get rough for her. He pulled her into his arms.

  “The technician found a heartbeat, then another . . . then another. I was in shock, completely blown away. Multiples didn’t run in either family. I looked up at Vince. I was scared. I needed his reassurance that we could do this.” Shannon scooted ever closer, wanting nothing more than to climb inside Dean’s skin and share it with him for a while.

  “The look on his face, it was like Vince had completely shut down. I couldn’t figure out what he was thinking. But the man who had been looking forward to a baby, a single baby, was just . . . gone.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.” Dean dropped a kiss on top of her head and rubbed her back. He would have continued to hold her like that, but Shannon needed to finish. She pushed against his chest and wiped at an errant tear. His expression was so compassionate. She dropped her gaze, knowing if she continued to look at him she was going to completely lose it.

  “Anyway, I had a shift that afternoon. I got home late, after midnight. Vince was gone, all his stuff cleared out. He’d left a note. He said he just couldn’t do this. He had plans, a future. He couldn’t let anything get in the way.”

  “Wonder what his future patients would think of their fine, upstanding doctor if they knew his backstory.” Dean scrunched up his nose. “Wait. Is he still studying to be a doctor?”

  Shannon thought for a moment. “I’m not sure, to be honest. He’d have his undergraduate degree, for sure. He should still be in medical school. Frankly, I have no idea where he is now.” She took another swallow of water and tried to wrap up her sob story.

  “I came home and had the babies here. I tried to reach out to Hollis and Eden, Vince’s parents. I thought they might want to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives.” Her cheeks flamed as she remembered that particular exchange.

  “Hollis accused me of trying to pimp my children for money. He told me that if I contacted them again, that he would take out a restraining order on me. That there was no way I was going to get my greedy hands on his family money.”

  “Ah, so that winning personality definitely runs in the family.” Dean looked inordinately pleased that he’d gotten a smile out of her.

  Shannon heard the first faint whoop of a fire engine. She scrambled to her feet and hauled Dean up beside her.

  “Okay, now that I’ve vomited up my past, let’s just drop it.” She flashed him a pained smile and swung her attention to the road in front of her.

  They moved in close with the rest of the crowd. Shriners in their little maroon fezzes drove by in impossibly small cars, looping around in crazy figure eights. Shannon watched Dean’s face light up with delight. It was fun experiencing something that had been an annual event for as long as she could remember with a person seeing it for the first time.

  Local Boy Scout troops filed past. Daisies, Brownies, and Girl Scouts were interspersed with marching bands, Veterans from as far back as WWII, and a collection of muscle cars. Dean clapped for everyone, but Shannon could almost see the drool starting to form when a vivid yellow Corvette purred by.

  “I bet I know what you’re going to ask Santa for this Christmas.” She giggled.

  The antique models of fire trucks began to roll past and Shannon stepped a little closer, trying to get a clearer view of the road. The triplets would be passing them any minute now. She bounced on her toes, eager to see her excited children.

  “Hurry, hop on.” Dean had crouched down in front of her to offer a piggyback view.

  Giggling girlishly, Shannon wrapped her arms around his neck and sprang up onto his back. Dean held ti
ght to her thighs, both of them laughing so hard they nearly toppled. The largest engine drew up close and Shannon waved her arms high in the air, hollering each triplet’s name. She saw the moment they spotted her, their bright smiles dazzling. Her mother waved from behind them, one arm around Roger.

  “Mommy, Mr. Dean! Have a kiss!” Brenna’s aim was spot on and Shannon reached out and caught the taffy without losing her balance. She blew them a kiss of her own.

  The fire engine signaled the end of the parade, volunteer firemen following behind with a long, thick rope. Shannon slid down Dean’s back and they hurried off to the elementary school, where the group of children was to be unloaded.

  Seeing Hollis Bainbridge had put a damper on the day for Shannon, but talking about her past wasn’t as difficult as she would have thought. Maybe time was healing those old wounds. Or maybe it was the quiet, patient way Dean had listened to her story, never judging her choices. He jogged alongside her, clearly just as eager to meet up with the children as she was. A tiny, hopeful part of her wondered if this is what it was like to be a family. The idea was thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Dean sat cross-legged on the floor in the children’s section of the town library, forgoing his ball cap and shades for the first time, and not feeling the slightest bit nervous about being around people. He waited for the clenching stomach muscles, the cold sweat whenever he accidentally made eye contact. It didn’t come. He was doing this. And more importantly, he was enjoying himself.

  His grin huge, he glanced over at Shannon, who sat beside him. The triplets were huddled together in the very front row of little people. Miss Bree, the librarian, was putting felt pieces of food up on a big black background, as she told her audience about the Very Hungry Caterpillar.

  Dean had never heard this story before and found himself leaning forward. What a great idea—to not just tell a story, but to show it! He wondered if Miss Bree would let him play with the felt board after story time. He turned and flashed a grin at Shannon. He thought of the Madonna as he watched her. She only had eyes for her children. The pride, the joy that lit her face, it was humbling.

  The festivities from the day before ended up running late into the evening. Dean had offered Roger and Catherine his SUV to take them back to the bed and breakfast. He said they could bring it by any time today. The triplets had talked him into coming in to read them bedtime stories. One book had led to another and Dean found himself invited to story time at the library. Did those kids ever get a “no” for an answer?

  Oh, boy, now they were on their feet singing “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.” Did anyone else’s knees crack as bad as his? Shannon giggled out loud, which could only mean she’d heard. He stuck out his tongue, tempted to tug on one of the braids she’d wrangled her hair into.

  “Remember, next week we’re going to read about families. Moms, dads, brothers, sisters . . . You’re welcome to bring in a photo of your family if you want to share it with the group.”

  The children all clustered in front of Miss Bree’s chair. Dean tried to get a look at what the fuss was about. The librarian’s brunette head was barely visible in the sea of preschoolers. Shannon’s laughter reminded Dean that he was being rather obvious.

  “Did you want to get your hand stamped too?” she asked sweetly.

  “Oh, is that what’s going on?” He sighed wistfully.

  “What were you expecting? She gives out gifts at the end?” Her smile was indulgent.

  “Hey, cut me some slack. This was my first story time.” This time he did reach out and yank lightly on a shiny, red braid.

  “Mommy, Mr. Dean, lookit what I got! Miss Bree gave me a fish stamp.” Brian proudly showed off the blue fish stamped on his left hand.

  His brother and sister crowded around them and stuck their little fists out as well. Shannon made suitably impressed oohs and aahs. Not sure what to do, Dean reached out and tousled the boys’ hair. Brenna slipped her tiny hand into his, beaming up at him in adoration. Oh, the power she wielded when she flashed that smile. Her mom had an equally powerful one.

  “Should we head home so you can get your car back?” Shannon nodded toward the door.

  “Nah. I told them to take their time. I don’t have anywhere I need to be.”

  They said goodbye to Miss Bree and wandered toward the shelves of age-appropriate picture books for the kids. Dean watched them, tapping spines, rubbing their chins, and looking so contemplative, he had to stifle a grin behind his hand. Shannon was right beside them, reading off titles to the books that the kids found themselves drawn to.

  “Have you gotten a library card yet, Dean?”

  The question gave him pause. At the height of his career, he’d never had time for libraries. He’d grab a paperback from the airport souvenir shops. It wasn’t that he didn’t read.

  “I hadn’t thought of it. I used to read a lot on the bus. We’d pass a paperback along until all of us had read it.”

  “All of us?”

  Crap. “Uh. You know . . . in high school.”

  “There is a terrific bookstore in town, the Book Nook. The old woman who owns it, Ruby, is a sweetheart. But libraries fit in much better with our budget, if you get my meaning.” Shannon held up a large stack of books.

  Dean reached out and took them from her. She rounded up the troops and headed for the check-out kiosk. He watched in wide-eyed amazement as the children took turns scanning the bar codes on the cover of the books. This machine was even better than the felt board.

  Outside, the sun was being stingy, at best, but the humidity kept the temperature plenty warm. They tossed the library books into the van and walked up the street, no destination in mind. The triplets skipped ahead, mindful not to put too much distance between them and the adults.

  “So the other night . . . you were pretty upset about your mom getting remarried.” He left the rest unsaid, ready to be told to mind his own business.

  “I freaked, didn’t I?” Shannon smiled, but it still looked a bit forced.

  “If you’d run out of ingredients for cookies, would you have started making a fruit salad, or a crock pot stew?”

  She laughed. “I would have switched to my other calming technique. I can crochet a scarf in about an hour, you know.”

  “Ah, well in that case, I like all shades of blue.” He winked.

  They followed the children to the small playground at the end of the street. As the triplets dashed in three different directions, Shannon and Dean found an empty bench and parked themselves.

  Brady had long-since learned how to compensate for the cast on his arm. Dean noticed the slight tensing when Shannon saw her son taking chances. But he had to hand it to her, she didn’t say anything. It was probably killing her not to warn them all against doing anything dangerous, but she kept it all in.

  Brenna had found another little girl on the swings and they had struck up that instant friendship that only the very young could pull off. Brian was at the top of the monkey bars, little muscles straining as he swung his way to the end. Dean leaned back and smiled. He had the strongest urge to pull Shannon up against him, so they could watch the kids together.

  “Oh my God. That’s my mother and Roger.”

  She pointed to a couple coming out of an antique store, hand in hand. They stopped just outside the store and kissed. The gesture was so tender, so real. Dean smiled wistfully. He had the ability to step back and view them as the loving couple they represented. Shannon, so personally involved, shuddered.

  “Try to pretend they were just a couple of strangers. Look at them as if you were just seeing them for the first time.”

  “They look happy.” She tore her gaze away. “They look in love.”

  “You going to give them your blessing?”

  “She didn’t even ask!” Then, grudgingly, “Yes. Of course they have my blessing.”

  Shannon leaned back against the bench, her shoulder resting against his. She p
ointed at Brian zipping down the slide to land in a giggling heap at the bottom. He gave her a thumbs-up as he raced off to his next destination. It was such a peaceful day.

  “I’d watch out around this one, if I were you. She’ll ruin your life. I’ve seen her do it before. She’s a family wrecker.”

  Dean’s head snapped up at the intrusion. Shannon’s hand grabbed his, icy cold and trembling. The nasty jerk from the parade stood over them. His eyes were full of bitterness and hatred. Dean was torn between wanting to defend Shannon’s honor and wanting to keep this a quiet, private conversation.

  “This isn’t the time or place, pal. You want to talk about whatever you think Shannon did, you and I can meet up somewhere.”

  “She’s poison. Those kids, though . . . ” He turned a calculating gaze toward the playground. “Vincent is in a good place now. He’s turned his life around. I bet if he could see his kids, he’d be proud. Proud enough to come back. Proud enough to visit his poor ma.”

  They watched the older man as his calculating eyes darted from one little redhead to the next. He wet his lips and appeared to be forming some kind of plan in his head. Shannon whimpered. He whipped his head back and sneered at her.

  “Vincent deserves to see his kids, spend time with ’em. You can’t hide them away from him forever.”

  “He’s the one who left! He didn’t want to have anything to do with them.” Her voice was shrill and panicked.

  Dean stood up and closed the distance between himself and Hollis. The man was a good four inches shorter. He took a deep breath and tried to look as menacing as possible. The triplets were starting to pay attention to the conversation the adults were conducting and he needed to end this before they could overhear.

  “No one is interested in your opinion. You had your chance years ago. Not my problem if you blew it.” He stared down the old man, daring him to blink first.