Hearts Are Wild

by Synithia Williams

  He turned and headed down another vacant hallway. The walls were decorated with bright posters and handmade artwork. Kindergarten or first grade, perhaps? He was just passing a door with a huge construction paper apple tree, the apples blank and waiting for the names of the students who would attend that class, when the door opened, banging into his arm.

  “Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry. Are you okay, sir?”

  They both knew a moment of stunned silence when Shannon blinked in shocked recognition, withdrawing the hand that had reached out to rub his arm. Of all the people he expected to run into at the elementary school, she was definitely not one of them.

  “Shannon, everything all right?” An older woman peered out of the classroom. “Sir? Are you a parent?”

  “Hi, no I’m the new music teacher. Dean Patterson. Nice to meet you.” He reached past Shannon to shake the teacher’s hand.

  “A pleasure. I heard Mrs. Dixon was retiring. I’m Wanda Peat. I teach first grade. Oh, and this is my new teacher’s aide, Shannon Fitzgerald.”

  “We’ve met,” Dean and Shannon mumbled simultaneously.

  “Can I walk you to your car?” Dean asked Shannon, leaning down so only she could hear, “I have no idea how to get out of this place.”

  “I’ll see you soon, Wanda.” Shannon started off down the hallway and Dean hurried to keep up with her.

  “Thanks. I got the crazy idea to do a little exploring and I got a lot lost.” Dean tried to coax a smile from her and failed.

  She looked at him sharply. “I parked in the faculty lot. That’s where I’m headed. If you parked somewhere else, then you’re on your own.”

  He jogged along beside her. “So teacher’s aide, huh? Why didn’t you tell me you’d applied for a job at the school?”

  Dean winced, knowing he’d set himself up good with that one. Shannon gave him a cold stare but declined to take the bait. He let her walk a little ahead of him. He wasn’t used to seeing her dressed up. Where Wanda had looked frumpy and matronly in her plaid skirt and clunky shoes, Shannon looked warm and approachable in a fuzzy short-sleeved sweater and flowery skirt that swished around her ankles as she walked. Her strappy white sandals showed off her tanned feet.

  They had just reached the front door and had headed for the sidewalk when Shannon apparently couldn’t contain her curiosity. She whirled around, her skirt showing a nice amount of calf before settling back down again.

  “Music teacher? Where did that come from? And why did you have to pick my school? This was for me. I was finally doing something for me.” She swiped an errant tear from her cheek and turned away again, hugging her arms tightly.

  Aching to reach out, knowing he’d be rejected, Dean slapped at his empty pockets. Only dorks carried handkerchiefs. But at this moment he’d have loved to be that dork, the gentleman who’s prepared for a woman’s tears. Especially seeing as he was the cause of these tears. Shame and guilt crawled through his gut, leaving a burning trail in their wake.

  “I have a background in music. I was looking for something, a way to contribute to the community, to give back. Something to keep me out of trouble.” Nope, no smile that time either. “I didn’t know you were looking into a job here too.” He reached out a tentative hand and touched her shoulder. She didn’t move. “This means more to you. It’s such a big step for you. You know what? You deserve this. I shouldn’t get in the way. I’ll go back and tell them I can’t take the job.”

  She turned around, eyeing him suspiciously. “You’d do that for me? Yours is a real job—the school music teacher. I’m just an aide. I’m not a real teacher; I just help out in the classroom.”

  “For the immediate future. But I bet you’re also looking into college courses that you can take at home, online. Right? So you may be an aide right now, but someday you’ll be a teacher. And you are going to affect the lives of so many people. You’re the one they’re going to be thanking as they stand up at the podium, giving their valedictorian speech on graduation day.” This time she did laugh, though Dean guessed it was more from embarrassment than anything else.

  “Shut up. I’m trying to stay away from you.” She gave him a watery smile.

  “You think I’m a bad person.”

  “I don’t want to. But that paperwork,” she spat the word out as though it tasted foul, “was pretty damning. You have to admit that.”

  “I admit it looked pretty bad. Would it sound cliché if I told you it wasn’t what it seemed?”

  “The truth, Dean. All I want is the truth. Is that so hard?”

  He opened his mouth to speak. What did he have to lose at this point? Her face was upturned, expectant. His tongue wouldn’t work. The words were frozen, just on the tip of his tongue. Dean stared miserably as Shannon sighed and turned away.

  “It’s not mine. The baby. You need to trust that it’s not mine. I wouldn’t fight this unless I knew 100 percent that I wasn’t the father. Please believe me, Shannon.”

  “Whatever you say.” Those strappy white sandals slapped against the cement as Shannon stalked off toward her car.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Dean checked his phone, made sure the conference call was working on all ends. “Toby, Jax, Linc, Gage? Everyone here?” They all answered in the affirmative.

  “Guys, I’m calling in reinforcements. I need you here. This is big. Bring the wives, girlfriends, babies, and everyone that matters.”

  “Everyone that proves boy band members are capable of maintaining a real relationship?”

  “Something like that.” Dean sighed.

  “Boys, I believe our lead singer has fallen in love,” Gage pronounced.

  “Dude, it’s not too late. Run, run as fast as you can!”

  “Shut up, Jax. You didn’t tell her the truth yet, did you?” Toby admonished.

  “I tried. I was planning on it, seriously. But she found the paperwork for that damned paternity suit before I could tell her.” Dean scraped his free hand through his hair. “Now she thinks I’m this evil, deadbeat dad. I don’t know . . . she probably thinks that’s why I moved across the country. I messed up so bad.”

  “We’ll make it right, Dino. But we do this for you and you owe us. You do the reunion show with us.”

  “I’ll do it. Anything. I just want Shannon back.”

  “We’ll be there as soon as we can get away. Don’t do anything stupid . . . okay, stupider, until we get there.”

  “Hey, guys? Thanks for this. I really miss you all. It wasn’t you I was running from. You know that, right? Just . . . the life. I was just sick of it.”

  “Ah, hell, he’s getting mushy. I’m outta here. Later.” Dean rolled his eyes as Jax dropped out of the conference call.

  “We’re looking forward to meeting Shannon and the kids. See you soon, Dino.”

  Dean said goodbye to the rest of the band and pressed “end call.” Was he doing the right thing? He hadn’t told her the truth when he should have. But maybe if he showed her his other life, in person . . . He hoped like hell that she’d understand the secrecy, the reasons it was so difficult to tell her the truth. Then he’d work on the truth behind the paternity suit. He hadn’t lied about that.

  • • •

  Shannon stood up on shaky legs and went to the sink to rinse out her mouth. Nothing like a raging case of nerves to chase the food right out of her stomach. She grabbed a toothbrush and scrubbed her teeth and tongue. Studying her reflection, she groaned.

  Vince had emailed last night to say that he was in town. He was staying with his parents. Given how his father felt about Shannon, he’d suggested they find a neutral place to meet. He left it up to her whether she wanted to include the children in this first meeting. The mama bear in her wanted to take her triplets and hide away with them, but in the end, she didn’t have a choice. Talia was taking her boys for a check-up at the doctor. She didn’t feel comfortable enough to foist all three kids on anyone else. She had to take them with her.

  Dean would have b
een happy to watch them. But she couldn’t go there, as much as she still longed to reach out to him, to tell him what was going on with Vince’s visit. Dean would have insisted on going with her for moral support. Why did he have to be so damned perfect in nearly every way and so despicable when it came to family?

  She brushed out her hair and let it fall loose around her shoulders. Vanity had her applying a light coat of makeup. Just because she was a single mom of triplets didn’t mean she had to look dowdy. And she wasn’t doing this for Vince’s benefit. She couldn’t care less what he thought of her. Though if she looked her best, and he just happened to have regrets, so much the better. Shannon stuck her tongue out at the mirror.

  “Mommy, who are we meeting again?” Brian asked as they were piling into the minivan.

  “Vince is an old friend of Mommy’s, from before you were born. He doesn’t live in Scallop Shores anymore.” And hopefully wouldn’t be moving back, either.

  “Careful! You almost squished Rosie, Mommy.” Brenna patted a tiny spot next to her in her booster seat.

  “Ah, is she back from her travels, then?”

  “Yeah, she was lonely and asked if she could come live with us again.”

  Shannon ducked her head as she finished fastening seat belts. Hot tears pricked her eyelids. This was her fault. She was screwing up her daughter’s life by taking away the one person, outside their immediate family, that she had come to love so much. And now she was introducing her to the man who failed her before she’d even been born? Her mother-of-the-year rank was sinking lower by the minute.

  “If we go with you to meet your friend, then can we go visit our friend later?” Brady asked hopefully.

  “Sure. Who would you like to visit?”

  “Mr. Dean. We haven’t seen him in a long time and he must be really sad about that. It’s been too long, Mommy.”

  Twist the knife a little deeper, my sweet boy. Shannon didn’t reply, didn’t think she could, without crying. She started up the van and headed for the tide pools at the harbor.

  He stood beside his car, a Mini Cooper. Well, he certainly hadn’t come equipped to safely transport his children anywhere. If Shannon had been hoping Vince had lost his looks to balding and paunch, she was disappointed. He was still just as dreamy as he’d been in high school and college, a little more filled out, hair a little neater.

  “I told them you’re an old friend of mine from high school. They don’t know any more than that,” she muttered through her teeth, once she had gotten out and stood beside him.

  “I’ve missed you too, babe.” Shannon stood still, arms stiff at her sides, as Vince leaned down to hug her.

  “We’re on the same page? I turn around and go if you aren’t.”

  “I’ll be on my best behavior. I swear.” He held his hands palms up.

  With a curt nod, Shannon turned and slid open the door to the minivan. The children had already unbuckled themselves and stood blinking owlishly at their mother’s “friend.” She stepped out of the way and let them jump down on their own. No one said a word as they stood in the parking lot, scuffing their sneakers and sending covert glances toward the stranger.

  “Brenna, Brian and Brady, this is Mommy’s old friend, Vince. Vince, these are my children.” Her steely gaze dared him to challenge her right to parent them on her own.

  “Hey, why don’t you all go see what there is to discover in the tide pools today? Brian, no putting baby crabs in your sister’s hair, got it?”

  The children dashed off, old enough to pick up on uncomfortable vibes and eager to remove themselves from the situation. Shannon and Vince followed them down to the beach. She found a bench, close enough to keep an eye on the kids but far enough away so they couldn’t overhear the conversation. Vince sat down beside her and she automatically scooted a few inches away.

  “They’re beautiful. And so happy.” Vince stared after the children, his expression dazed.

  “And they are well-behaved five-year-olds. Just because there are three of them doesn’t mean that they are out of control hooligans.” Her heart squeezed as she recalled that awkward introduction to Dean.

  “I can see that. You are a great mom. I knew you would be.”

  “You thought, at one point, that you’d be a good father. Until you learned you’d made three babies at once.” Tension had her fingernails digging painfully into her thighs. “Did your fathering skills suddenly kick in? Why now? Why are you here?”

  Vince took his eyes off the kids and focused his attention on Shannon. He looked tired, drawn. She straightened her spine, set her jaw rigid. As far as she was concerned, Vince was the enemy.

  “I made so many mistakes when I was younger. I was selfish. I didn’t want to give up the lifestyle I had.”

  “You mean the one where your wife paid for you to go to school and live in an apartment and not have to work?” She looked down her nose at him.

  “I treated you horribly. And then I took my dad up on his offer to pay for the rest of my schooling, if I’d just leave you and the babies. He got me into a school in upstate New York. He paid for it all. But I was feeling so guilty about it, not telling you, taking his money, that I shut my parents out of my life too. I was their only son. My mom was devastated. Dad, too, I guess.”

  “You weren’t freaked out about the babies? You just wanted to leave?”

  “I wanted my career. I put my career plans first.” He put his face in his hands.

  “And how is that going, by the way? You must be in medical school now, right? What’s your focus? I mean, it’s gotta be big, right? You gave up a lot to be a big time doctor. You going to be a brain surgeon?” She’d been going for snide, snotty. Apparently, it didn’t come out like the verbal slap it had been intended.

  “Actually, I’m going into pediatrics.” Vince looked animated for the first time since they’d sat down.

  “Unbelievable.” Shannon pinched the bridge of her nose and fought the tension headache that was starting to throb behind her right eyelid.

  “I’m paying back my father, a little at a time. I want to start paying child support too.”

  “You aren’t making the big bucks yet, Vince. How are you able to pay child support?”

  “I eat a lot of boxed mac and cheese and ramen noodles. Food at the cafeteria is cheap, and I practically live there, so . . . ”

  “We don’t need your money. We’ve done just fine without you.”

  “My mom would like to meet the triplets. She’s been wanting to so bad.” Vince turned to face Shannon, his face scrunched into a grimace. “My dad lied to her. He said you kicked me out. He told her you didn’t want the Bainbridges anywhere near your babies.”

  “Why would he do that? I could have used the help when I first brought them home. They could have used someone else to love them, care for them.” A tear slipped down her cheek.

  “He needed someone to blame. It should have been me, Shan. I’m so sorry. He was just so angry that I cut them out of my life. He took it out on you. It’s all my fault.”

  “He wants you to take them from me, doesn’t he? He wants me miserable and he knows if he asks, you’ll fight me for custody and win.”

  “I won’t lie. Yeah, he wants me to fight for custody. But I have no intention of doing it.” He pressed a tissue into her hand and stared hard. “You’ve raised these kids. You are an amazing mom. They are blessed. Changing that, taking you out of the equation, would be the worst thing we could possibly do to them.”

  “Why are you here, then? If you don’t want to take the kids from me, why are you here?”

  “I’ve met someone. She’s a lab technician at the hospital.” Vince turned his head, staring off at the horizon. “We’re getting married.”

  Warning bells clanged in her head. He may say he wasn’t going to take the kids, but he had a more stable living environment for them than she did. Shannon’s heart raced and her breathing became so shallow she thought she’d faint.

  “She want
s my babies. What is it? She can’t have kids and you’re going to give her mine?”

  “Listen to me, you aren’t being rational. I came here to make amends, so I can move on with my life.” Vince took Shannon’s hands in his own, holding firmly when she tried to snatch them away. “I haven’t told Claire about being married before. She doesn’t know I have kids. I want to tell her the truth. I want this thing I have with her to work. I’m done being a screw up, Shan. I’ve changed.”

  “What are you going to tell your father?” This time she did manage to tug her hands free. She stood up and put the wooden bench between them.

  “I told him about Claire. I said there will be more babies. Maybe not for a while, but when we’re ready. He and Mom will be a part of my life, of my children’s lives from this point on. But these three? They are yours.”

  “Damn straight they are!” Shannon couldn’t quite keep the quaver from her voice.

  “Would it be okay if I got to know them a little, before I go? I swear I’ll never let on that I’m their real father.”

  Shannon nodded mutely and he continued.

  “Dad said you’ve got a boyfriend, some guy new to town. He said he’s real good with the kids, treats them like his own. I’d say they’re pretty lucky to have him. Dad, being Dad, said I should have words with him. Let him know who their real father is. Rough him up if I need to get my point across.”

  “God, that man is such a jerk! I hate to speak ill of anyone, really, but your father has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.” Shannon spat the words out, rolling her eyes while her nostrils flared. She fisted her hands at her sides.

  “So aren’t you glad you have no ties to my family anymore?” He grinned, shrugging his shoulders.

  If she could only shrug it off as easy. Hollis Bainbridge was a horribly unpleasant man who was starting to make her very nervous. This meeting with Vince hadn’t turned out as badly as she’d anticipated, but now Shannon was on edge. She didn’t trust the older Bainbridge not to do something to ensure he got his way.