These Are My Confessions

by Robinson, Cheryl; Smith, Meta; King, Joy; Parks, Electa Rome

  Third Quarter

  Sweetest Sin

  “I know Isaac ass didn’t stay out all night,” Tracy said, waking up alone in bed. “This motherfucker better stepped out early this morning to get us some breakfast from McDonald’s,” she vented, breathing hard as she dialed Isaac’s cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail. “Isaac, where the fuck are you? It’s obvious that you didn’t sleep in this bed last night and your phone is off. My female intuition is telling me you up to no good, but for your sake I better be wrong. If you don’t call me right back, I’m coming to look for your ass, and if you up to some trifling shit, it’s about to be on,” Tracy screamed into the phone before slamming it down.

  Bianca was in the middle of a dream that she didn’t want to wake up from. A beautifully built six feet four man with muscle tone so defined you would think someone crafted it from a sculpture was gently sprinkling kisses around her breasts and down her stomach. Her back arched as the tip of his tongue seduced her belly button. As she moaned in pleasure and anticipated his next move, he continued his tongue play, entering her gates to heaven. Her hips swiveled to the rhythm of his strokes, and when she looked down to catch a glimpse of the face of the man who was bringing her so much pleasure, it was Glen, and then the alarm went off snapping her out of her sleep.

  Bianca hated that she couldn’t stop thinking about that one night of forbidden lust she’d shared with Glen. And how could she when it had been the best sex of her life? But she had no choice but to forget about it, she decided, since it had been a mistake and Glen seemed perfectly content with Sasha. To make matters worse, she now had to head over to Glen’s house to discuss a ton of media obligations he had lined up, and would have to pretend it didn’t crush her seeing him with Sasha. She prayed that she would be able to bury her feelings for Glen somewhere so deep that the pain of not being with him vanished.

  “Isaac, open the damn door!” Tracy screamed. She had been banging on Glen’s front door for the last fifteen minutes, and wouldn’t stop because she was positive Isaac was inside, since his car was parked in front of the garage. She kept calling his cell phone but it was still turned off. Then she started blowing up Sasha’s phone, but it was off too. She was pissed because she didn’t know Glen’s home or cell phone number, so she just continued banging, waiting for someone to show their face. She was at her wits end and began walking toward the back to bust out the glass doors when someone finally came out. But after Tracy saw who it was, she knew it would’ve been better if the woman had stayed inside. It was the buxom cheerleader who had been entertaining Isaac before she left Magic City.

  “Where’s Isaac?” she demanded of the chick who seemed like she was still halfway asleep.

  “Who?”

  “Don’t play with me, bitch. Where is my man?”

  “Which one is your man?” the girl asked coyly.

  Five seconds later Isaac came walking out the door as if he had no clue Tracy was on the front steps waiting for him. “Oh shit, what are you doing here?”

  “Oh shit is right. I’ve been banging on this damn door for fifteen minutes. I guess you was too occupied fucking with this trick that you didn’t hear me.”

  “Look, ho, don’t be calling me no trick because your so-called man wanted to stick his dick up in me all night,” the stripper said. “You need to check your man and leave me out of it.” Tracy stared at her stripper for a moment, and then, without warning, started going upside her head.

  “Tracy, chill. Stop acting crazy out here,” Isaac barked as he pulled her off the girl.

  Tracy was still swinging her arms and kicking as Isaac held her in the air. “Let me go,” she demanded.

  “Not until you calm down.” The stripper was fixing her hair and patting down the clothes that Tracy had practically ripped off.

  “I’m fine,” Tracy said as Isaac put her down. “After all the shit we’ve been through, I can’t believe you would play me for some two-bit slut. I hope that pussy was worthwhile because I’ve done enough crying over your sorry ass.”

  “Tracy, wait. I fucked up, but don’t end it over this.” Tracy kept walking as Isaac halfheartedly pleaded his case from the front stairs.

  When Bianca pulled up at the house for her meeting with Glen, she saw Tracy going at Isaac’s Range Rover Terminator style. She had busted out every window except for the front. She was about to do that one too, but Isaac managed to get to her before she could. And then the two of them were battling as Isaac tried to retrieve the brick from Tracy’s hand. It seemed that Tracy’s anger had given her superhero strength, because Isaac appeared to have difficulty getting the upper hand, though she was much smaller.

  The girl who was watching the mayhem looked awfully familiar to Bianca, who ran up to ask her what was going on.

  “Well, that crazy bitch tried to kick my ass because I spent the night with her so-called man,” the girl said. “I told her not to get mad at me but to check her man for herself. I guess she took my advice and that’s why she fucking up his car.”

  Bianca wondered if she should try to break up their fight or go inside and get Glen. Before she had a chance to make a decision, Glen and Sasha came outside. Luckily, Sasha had enough sense to put on a bathrobe instead of prancing around butt naked.

  “Yo, what the fuck is going on out here?” Glen said as he came off his steps. Isaac and Tracy were still going at it, ignoring him as they continued to fight. Glen walked back in the house, and Bianca couldn’t believe he wasn’t going to do something. But a minute later he reappeared, and all anyone could hear were gunshots ringing in the air. Everybody froze and looked in Glen’s direction. “I got to bust off bullets to get you fools’ attention. Now what is all this drama about?”

  “You know what the fuck is up,” Tracy told him. “You let Isaac bring that trick up in your crib so they could fuck. What type of shit is that?”

  “Tracy, on the real, Isaac is a grown-ass man. I don’t have anything to do with who he lay down with. And for the record, I’m not saying he laid down with anybody,” Glen added.

  “Tracy, why don’t you come inside so you can calm down,” Sasha suggested.

  “I’m not going anywhere near that damn house after Isaac stayed up all night fucking some bitch.”

  “I told you—”

  Bianca cut the girl off before she could continue. “Honestly, I think you should just stay out of this.”

  “That’s cool, but I need to get the fuck home. I’m tired of watching all this drama,” the girl popped as she rolled her eyes.

  “Go wait in my car,” Bianca said. “I’ll call a cab for you.” She took out her cell phone and ordered the car service they used frequently to come as soon as possible. Then she walked toward Isaac and Tracy, who was still breathing like a bull.

  “Tracy, let’s go home,” Isaac pleaded. “We need to sit down and talk. I know we can work everything out.”

  “I’m not going nowhere with you. You made your bed, now lay in it.” Tracy tossed the brick on the ground, walked back to her car and drove off. Five minutes later the car service arrived and the stripper jumped in, not saying so much as a good-bye to anybody. Glen went over and said a few words to Isaac before he pulled off in his window-busted-out Range.

  Bianca followed Glen and Sasha back into the house, feeling overwhelmed by the events that had occurred there, in the middle of the afternoon.

  “Bianca, I’m sorry you had to arrive in the midst of all that chaos,” Glen said.

  “Well, maybe if you hadn’t brought the chaos home there would be no need to apologize.”

  “What?” he said, taken aback by Bianca’s defiance. They were standing in the foyer, with Sasha behind Glen, straining to hear Bianca’s response. Sasha knew that Glen hated for anyone to talk slick to him, and she hoped Bianca’s comment would escalate to an argument, which would mean a curtain call for her. “You’re blaming me for what went down between Isaac and Tracy?”

  “All I’m saying is if you h
adn’t allowed Isaac to spend the night with his stripper friend at your house, then Tracy wouldn’t have been in front of your crib trying to demolish Isaac’s car.”

  “Baby, before you respond to that, I’m going to get ready,” Sasha said to Glen. “Don’t forget we have to go dress shopping for the official celebration party you’re hosting tomorrow night.”

  “All right, I’ll be up there in a little while.”

  “Oh, and Bianca, I don’t know if you’re coming to the party, but I understand dressing up isn’t really your thing, so if you need some tips on what to wear, feel free to ask.” Without even waiting for Bianca to respond, Sasha strutted upstairs.

  Bianca was so irritated by Sasha’s obvious diss that she was in no mood to even talk to Glen. But she did, saying, “Glen, I know you have things to do, so let’s discuss these interviews you have lined up so I can get out of here.”

  “Before we go over work-related stuff,” he replied, “I want to finish discussing what happened earlier.”

  “I don’t think there’s anything left to say.”

  “I disagree. I can’t let you blame me for what other grown folks do and not defend myself.”

  “Look, I feel that you should accept some of the responsibility too. You know that Isaac lives with Tracy and they’re supposed to be in a committed relationship. If he didn’t come home last night, it would only make sense that she’d come to your crib looking for him since she left him at the strip club with you. So please don’t talk to me as if you’re surprised the drama ended in the front of your house when you welcomed it to come in.”

  “Oh, so what? I should have told Isaac that he and his friend couldn’t spend the night?”

  “Yeah, you could’ve told grown-ass Isaac to get a room and fuck his stripper friend on his own premises so none of it would’ve led back to you.”

  Glen stood thinking about what Bianca was saying. Even though he wasn’t about to admit it, he knew that when Isaac told him he wanted to bring the stripper back to his crib, he should have told him to get a hotel room. Tracy had hung out with him and Sasha on numerous occasions, and he even thought of her as being somewhat of a friend. He should have completely stayed out of whatever dirt Isaac was scheming on.

  “I feel what you’re saying,” he said, “I really do, but you don’t have to come off as being so judgmental.”

  “I’m not trying to judge you, Glen. I guess I feel that no one really takes other people’s feelings seriously. Tracy was devastated to see her man coming out of your crib with some stripper he was laid up with all night, and she had every right to be. What if things had turned fatal and somebody ended up dead behind that bullshit? In the heat of passion, shit like that happens all the time. Just think if that brick Tracy was bashing around had been a gun, then the police and ambulance could be parked outside your crib right now, and then what?”

  “I can’t lie. It wasn’t that deep for me. I didn’t take Tracy’s feelings into consideration. I just wanted everybody to have a good time. Damn, I guess that shows what a fucked-up individual I am.”

  “You’re not a fucked-up individual. If a person doesn’t take the time to point something out to you, then it can go right over your head.”

  “Well, I’m glad you did take the time because I definitely learned something today.” Glen gazed into Bianca’s eyes, and all the feeling he’d been trying to suppress since she’d told him she only wanted them to have a business relationship resurfaced. He felt an emotional connection toward her. It was a strange bond that he’d never felt with another woman. He couldn’t resist walking closer to her and placing his right hand gently on her cheek. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being you,” he answered sincerely.

  “It was nothing.” Bianca playfully pushed Glen’s hand away, and he knew that was her way of not letting him back in. He was hoping she would let her guard down because she couldn’t deny their attraction. He could feel the lust brewing inside her. “We really need to go over these interviews,” Bianca said, breaking the silence.

  Glen was disappointed that she didn’t respond the way he hoped, but decided not to push her. “No problem. But before I forget, you are coming to the party tomorrow night?”

  “What party?”

  “The one Sasha mentioned.”

  “Oh, that party. I’m not sure. I think I might have plans.”

  “Plans like what, a date?” Glen asked, unable to contain his jealousy.

  “No, not a date, I might have to do something for Aunt Pearl.”

  He was relieved it wasn’t a man she had plans with. “Don’t worry about Aunt Pearl. I’ll personally put in a call letting her know I need you at the party I’m hosting tomorrow.”

  “Don’t do that.”

  “Then that means you’re coming.”

  “Yes, I’ll be there.”

  “Great, now let’s get to work.” Glen was pleased that Bianca would be in attendance. Even though technically she wasn’t his girl, he felt territorial when it came to her.

  Fourth Quarter

  Showstopper

  After leaving Glen, Bianca drove straight to her aunt Pearl’s house. Pearl lived in a two-story brick house on a quiet cul-de-sac outside of Atlanta. It was the same house Bianca had lived in after her mother died, and it always gave her a warm, secure feeling. It was the only place she truly considered home. Although she still had a key, she decided to ring the doorbell since her aunt wasn’t expecting her.

  “If it isn’t my favorite girl,” Aunt Pearl said, greeting her niece in the endearing motherly nature that Bianca loved so much.

  “Hi, Auntie, I hope you don’t mind me stopping by without notice.”

  “Don’t be silly. Bring your butt in here. I’m surprised you didn’t use your key.”

  “I didn’t want to scare you by just walking in.”

  “I appreciate that. I don’t need no surprises. It might cause me to have some sort of relapse,” she said jokingly. “So what brings you out to my neck of the woods?”

  “Wanted to see how you were doing.”

  “You could’ve called me for that.” She gave Bianca the eye, letting her know she knew there was much more to her visit.

  “You know me so well. I’m going to just come out and say it. I think I’m falling for Glen, and he’s hosting this party tomorrow that I don’t want to attend because I don’t have anything to wear, and then Sasha…” Bianca kept rambling on until her aunt cut in.

  “Well I’ll be. I was wondering how long it would take before you admitted it,” she said, sitting down on the couch.

  “What are you talking about? I only recently started developing these feelings.”

  “That’s what your mouth says. But I knew something was up when you were determined not to continue working for him. It was as if you were running away from something, which was those feelings you didn’t want to have.”

  “Maybe because I never thought it was possible for him to reciprocate my feelings. I mean, he obviously loves superficial women like Sasha, and how can I compete with that? The two of us are polar opposites.”

  “Men go through phases of being attracted to certain types of women. Some of them never outgrow it and others just need the right woman to show them that different can be better. If you really care about Glen, then don’t let him slip away.”

  “If you mean make a total fool out of myself, I’ll pass.”

  “You never know. Glen is like a sweet little boy who just needs guidance in the right direction. He’s dated plenty of women and they’ve all been like Sasha, a tempting piece of candy on the outside with absolutely nothing in the center.”

  “So obviously that’s what he likes, which I’m not.”

  “Now, who doesn’t like candy? Everybody is attracted to something that looks delicious to devour, that’s part of being human. But you’re the one who chooses not to use what God gave you to further lure Glen in.”

  “What do you
mean by that?”

  “You know exactly what I mean. Walking around all the time in ultraconservative clothes, not putting so much as some lip gloss on those luscious lips. I’m not saying you have to be done up all the time, but damn, honey, you got to let your hair down sometimes so a man knows you have a pulse.”

  “Aunt Pearl, you are so crazy.”

  “I’m so serious. You have enough assets to give any woman a run for her money. Instead of hiding them under those layers of clothes, flaunt what you were blessed with.”

  “I know, but it’s hard. I always remember how beautiful and vibrant mother was, and out of jealousy my dad just took that away from her in one split second. It seems that in love and life, it leads to nothing but pain and heartache.”

  “My dear child, I know how deeply your mother’s death affected you. My heart hasn’t been the same either, but you can’t stop living because your mother stopped breathing. Trust me, she would want you to find love and be happy, not to close yourself off and wither away.”

  “I know, but then falling in love with a man like Glen, I feel I’m destined for a broken heart.”

  “Nothing in love or life is guaranteed. But I will tell you it’s better to have truly loved with all your heart at least once then to never have loved at all.”

  “You’re absolutely right. So what advice would you give me?”

  “Well, first you need to attend that party tomorrow, but not just go, go looking so damn good that you erase Sasha out of Glen’s mind once and for all. Leave it to your aunt Pearl. When I’m done with you, you’ll outshine every female in that entire party, including Sasha.”