Afraid of Love: Bid on Love Series Bachelor #8 & Hard to Love Book #1

by Annelise Reynolds

  Chapter 23

  Sebastian

  I’m about to sink a shot when the den of the bar starts to quiet. The music blasts through the speakers, but the chatter dies away. I straighten and move to lean back against the wall, watching the two identical women as they walk arm and arm to the bar.

  Every horny fucker in the bar is thinking the same thing, double the fun. I’m only looking at one of them, though. They might look alike, but Jaci shrinks where her sister stands like a shield, ready to defend at any second. I know they are close but seeing them together gives me a new insight to Jaci.

  What that prick did to her is bad enough, but her sister and family enabled her to withdraw. They did it out of love for sure, the fact that her sister looks ready to pounce at a second’s notice says as much. Jaci hasn’t needed that on our date or at the shop. She talks to and has been touched by me. Popeye and Hollywood have both spoken to her, and she holds her own.

  “Damn Brother,” Popeye says looking at them with pure lust in his eyes. “Can I at least have the sister?”

  “Can you tell which one, is the sister?” I ask knowing he can’t.

  “Doesn’t matter. I’d take either.”

  I sigh, “Flirt, don’t touch. I don’t need you getting caught up with the sister and the fallout messing shit up with Jaci.”

  “You’re serious about her? You going to put a property of patch on her?”

  I shrug giving him a non-committed answer. He doesn’t need to know that the thought has crossed my mind more than once. “Just stay away from the sister if you’re looking for a place to get your dick wet. There are plenty of females inside and out of the club. Those two are off limits.”

  “You better let the guys know that.” Popeye notches his chin for me to see Buzzard and Flint headed towards the girls. I grab my phone and send a club-wide text.

  Talk or flirt. Touch, I chop your dick off and throw it in the bay.

  I hit send, and phones around the room start pinging in rapid succession. More than one brother groans. A few send me pissed off looks, which are quickly averted when I shoot them one back. It is my club. If they don’t like the way I run it, they can get the fuck out.

  Drake comes in the front door and heads right towards the bar. Jaci sees him and gives him a small, tentative smile. She seems to relax some seeing a friendly face.

  “It’s about time,” I mutter. He was supposed to be here before she arrived.

  I watch as my best friend goes up to the two sisters. Jaci seems to make the introductions.

  Drake joins them at the bar, and I wish I could hear their conversation. Drake is talking to both the sisters like he has a mutual interest with them. He clenches his jaw when Kaiya rolls her eyes and shrugs. She is a spitfire. He looks to Jaci for an answer, and she looks away before shaking her head.

  “Damn. Your chick pissed Hollywood off. That’s impressive and not easy to do.”

  “No. Only one other woman pisses him off like that.” I mutter. My two best friends fought like crazy, but thankfully whatever beef they’ve got between them they leave me out of it.

  “Well, looks like your lady and her sister can be added to that list.”

  Going by the tension between the trio, I’d say it is a fair assessment, but it doesn’t make sense since Jaci and Drake have been around each other twice before with no tension.

  “Fuck it.” I toss the pool cue I’m holding, onto the table and go to the bar. The plan was to boost her confidence and get her comfortable around the club with the guys joking and flirting with her. Plans change.

  I know the second she sees me out of the corner of her eye because her head whips around and her mouth falls open. I grin at as her eyes roam over me, taking in my jeans and the cut I’ve got pulled over my plain white shirt.

  “Hey, Beautiful,” I say going up behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist. I pull her body flush against mine and kiss her neck breathing in her scent. She smells like a dessert good enough to eat.

  “I told her you’d scare the shit out of her. You must’ve made an impression on your first date.” Kaiya speaks up with a pleased smirk on her face. She offers her hand, “I’m Kaiya. You’re welcome, for my bid on you.” Her grin spreads a little wider, “It was a tossup between you and the guy with the date to the amusement park.”

  “I thought Nadine orchestrated the whole thing,” I question and shake the hand she offers.

  Kaiya shrugs and picks up her beer taking a long drink from it. “To a point. She got you up there; the final call was mine to make. If the guy with dinner on the yacht hadn’t gone so high…” She let the sentence trail off.

  “Kaiya,” I say, not liking the fact she almost bid on two other bachelors. If they’d had the date with Jaci, she could’ve fallen for one of them. “Don’t piss me off.”

  She throws her head back and laughs, drawing the attention of my men. “Sorry, Prez. You’re an easy target where Jai’s concerned. If you’ve got her, I think I’ll go play some pool.” She nods towards the table I left and Popeye standing there staring at her. “That guy you were playing with has been undressing me with his eyes since I got here. I may go ahead and let him undress me for real.”

  Night and day. Jaci and her sister are as different as night and day. No wonder she shrinks when her sister is around. Her personality is suppressed and smothered.

  “You weren’t kidding that y'all are different.”

  Jaci laughs self-consciously and tugs at the hem of her skirt. “I know.”

  She seems resigned to their being different instead of celebrating it. I take the chair Kaiya left and turn her to face me. Her crossed legs go on for days and have my cock hardening behind my fly. I want to spread her legs and see what panties she has on. Are they the same simple colored panties I stuck my hands in last time? Is she in a thong? I grunt and shift in my seat imagining her perfect ass split in two by a thin string. Her pussy perfectly pink and soaking wet under a scrap of fabric barely big enough to cover her mound.

  She doesn’t look at me, so I lift her chin with my finger. Jaci’s eyes show her vulnerability. God, she is sweet. Too sweet for a man like me.

  “Don’t compare yourself to anyone. You are exactly who you’re meant to be.” And that’s the woman I can’t get out of my head. I didn’t say that, but damn, it is true. She is under my skin and in my head.

  “Everyone always compares us.”

  “You most of all I bet.” I sit back and motion the bartender to get me a beer. “Jaci, you make yourself smaller to make room for your sister’s bigger personality. I saw it the minute y’all walked in the room. I couldn’t tell you apart by looks it was mannerisms and the way you carry yourself that gave you away.”

  Her cheeks infuse with color. Damn, I hope she doesn’t lose that blush. “I’ve never thought of it like that.”

  “Now that you’re aware know there is room for you both. I’m attracted to you for you. Your sister is too much a handful for a man like me.”

  She laughs, which was my intent. If I wanted to handle her sister I could, but I didn’t want to. Kaiya isn’t worth the time for me. Jaci is.

  Chapter 24

  Jaci

  I’m half naked with how short this skirt is. “Let’s dance.”

  “Oh, no,” I say shaking my head and sitting further back on my stool. “Not in this outfit and not with so many people around. I’m aw—”

  Sebastian’s lips slam down on mine in a hard-possessive kiss. It isn’t meant to spark desire it is intended to punish. He gentles the kiss. His tongue is soothing my lips as he pulls back completely.

  “I don’t want to hear you say something else you can’t do, Jaci. The only thing I want from you right now is to forget everyone else exists but me. I’m your world your everything. Nobody else matters.”

  I take his hand and let him lead me towards the back of the bar. A few women are dancing together. A couple of guys in cuts like Sebastian’s are watching and talking from the sidel
ines. The women are obviously dancing for them.

  Sebastian doesn’t pay attention to anyone else his focus on me, so I try to ignore my nerves and relax into him. Crowds aren’t my favorite thing in the world. Being surrounded by a bunch of men is even less comforting. With Sebastian holding me in his arms, everything else fades away.

  He pulls me close to his body; I can feel his jeans against my legs and the tale bulge behind his fly, saying he is turned on. I roll my head back on my shoulders as shivers of need and desire race up my spine.

  I look at the other couples’ dancing. Women are grinding on men or each other. If I try anything like that, this mistake of a skirt will show all my goodies to the whole bar. That would be my luck. Hozier is pounding through the speakers. The words of Take Me to Church are familiar to me. It is a song I know well and love. We don’t move like the other couples, and he doesn’t try to get me to. He just holds me as we slow dance.

  When the song ends, another one comes on, and I look towards the jukebox to see Kaiya standing there watching and grinning. Her eyes are suspiciously wet.

  Life house fills the room as we dance. The song is one of my favorites. I rest my head on Sebastian’s chest and close my eyes letting the lyrics and the moment take me away from everything.

  I feel Sebastian’s hands rubbing my back as we sway to the music. The weight of his cheek rests on my head. It is perfect. I feel safe but also cherished in his arms.

  When the song ends, I look up at him. Our eyes lock, and I feel the world shift under me. I’m not supposed to fall for him really. This whole arrangement is about learning what it is like to want someone. It is about sex and experiencing the things I never let myself experience before. Falling in love isn’t on that list.

  I pull out of his arms. His eyes are steady as if he knows my fight or flight response is leaning towards flight. The walls seem to be coming down around me, and I can feel a panic attack rising. What ifs are running through my head at a dizzying rate. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if he leaves and takes that feeling of safety away with him?

  Shaking my head, I take a few steps back as tears fill my eyes. “I can’t; this is a mistake.” I turn to walk away from him, but before I take two steps Sebastian’s hand grasps my wrist, turned me around, and he lifts me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. His arm is like a steel band around my thighs.

  “Cage.” He calls out over the den of the bar.

  “Put me down. I’m going to fall.” I yell from my place on his shoulder while swatting his back.

  “Then I’ll catch you.” He says. I feel him shift and look over my his shoulder to see him switching keys with one of his guys.

  “Sebastian! Everyone can see up my skirt.” I shriek while trying to get him to put me down.

  “You are wearing panties?”

  “Of course.”

  “Then they can’t see anything they can’t see in a magazine or on TV.” He dismisses and hauls me through the bar.

  “Dammit Bash! Put me down.”

  He ignores me and keeps walking. I look for Kaiya to see her watching from the other side of the room. She looks like she wants to run after us, but Popeye has her by the arms holding her back. Fuck. She will be freaking out too.

  I sigh and lift my hand silently telling her I’m ok. It isn’t a lie. I know Sebastian won’t do anything to hurt me. If he wanted to hurt me, he could’ve done it at any time over the last week. He’s done nothing but try to help and protect me. It is one of the things that scares me most. What if I let my guard down and get comfortable, then he leaves taking my feels of safety away with him?

  Don’t depend on anyone. Don’t get close to anyone and they can’t hurt you. It’s the motto I’ve lived by for so long. Sentencing myself to a life of isolation so I don’t go through the hell Josh put me through. One relationship and I had to pick a guy who was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. Not to mention one that stalked me. After that, I was done with all of it. I didn’t want to risk going down the same road again. Fictional men were more accessible to fall in love with in my life.

  I feel ridiculous dangling over Sebastian’s shoulder as he walks out of the bar and into the parking lot. We get a few curious stares, but that is it. I’m going to pay him back for this. One rule everyone should know, ‘Don’t piss off an author, because they get their revenge in print.’ Guess no one ever mentioned that to him.

  He stops in front of a big truck and opens the door to put me in the front seat. It might’ve been a bit immature, but I try to hop out of the seat the second he steps away.

  “Stop acting like a spoiled brat. We are only going somewhere to talk.” He isn’t winded from carrying me over his shoulder, and he didn’t seem irritated that I tried to get out of the truck. He was calm, collected, and totally rational. While I feel anything, but. Damn him.

  “I don’t want to talk. I thought I made that perfectly clear inside.”

  “Fine, then I’m going to talk, and you can listen, but I won’t do this in front of my club or your sister. What happens between us stays between us.”

  Chapter 25

  Sebastian

  My dick is hard from carrying her over my shoulder, across the bar, and to Haywire’s truck. I ignore my cock and shut the door before going around the front to get in on the driver’s side. Jaci doesn’t move. She sits there stonily with her arms crossed over her perfect breasts. The top she wore shows the cream curve of her breasts and the top of the valley between, that could wrap around my shaft as I fuck her tits. Damn, I need to get laid soon, but the only woman I want is as skittish as a deer in headlights. Usually, I wouldn’t let a brother touch my bike, but to get Jaci back to my place to talk I’d do anything. She is freaking out about her feelings for me. It scares the shit out of her how hard and how fast she is falling.

  I can relate, but we deal with fear in different ways. Fear wakes me the fuck up and has me ready to fight the world to make her mine. Jaci’s fear does the opposite. She shuts down because of her deep-seated fears.

  She is quiet as I drive towards my house. Her arms and legs are crossed as she sits rigid and trying to ignore me. If she looks down, she’d see her arms are pushing her breasts up in her top making the creamy half-moons of her breasts more visible. The valley between them is formed to take a cock in a good tittie fuck.

  I shift in my seat wanting to relieve the pressure my jeans are putting on my balls. Fuck. She has no clue how beautiful she is. Her long legs are exposed, and her shoes are the kind that inspires fantasies. The skirt is short enough that I saw most of her thighs. It wouldn’t take much for me to reach over and slide my hand up the inside of her leg to enter her pussy. She can straddle my dick and ride herself to orgasm without the skirt getting in the way.

  My dick is going to fall off if I don’t get my thoughts under control. I can see those images in my head as if they are memories and not wishful thinking. If I ever hope to get her in my life and into my bed permanently, then I need to get her to the place where she’d want to face her fears, instead of running from them. I need to earn her trust as much if not more than her heart.

  “Can you take me home please?” Her voice comes through soft and vulnerable.

  I sigh and pull the truck over into an empty parking spot. There is plenty of light from the street lamps and from the traffic passing behind us.

  “I’ll take you to your house, but I want you to promise me something first.”

  She rests her head back against the headrest and closes her eyes before rolling her head to look at me. “What?”

  “Promise me you won’t turn me away at the door. That you’ll talk to me.”

  “We’re talking now.”

  “Jaci.” Frustrated, her name comes out as more of a groan. “Please. I’m not asking for a lot here. This night isn’t at all what I wanted for us. Whatever spooked you at the bar, we need to talk about it.”

  She sighs, “I would pick the one biker that actually wants to d
iscuss feelings.”

  “Baby, if all you want to do is have sex say the word and I’ll take you to my house right now, strip those panties you’re wearing off, and let you ride my cock fully dressed.” She remains silent and thank fuck for that because if she said that’s all she wants, I’d have done exactly what I said. Except, I’d handcuff her to my bed until she decides she wants to stay there. “I want more from you than that though.”

  The next words out of my mouth are going to put me in a position I’ve never been in before and one that leaves me open and exposed. I’d never said these words to a woman before, but I will sacrifice my comfort in our relationship to give her the upper hand. She can make me or break me, and it scares the shit out of me that I don’t know which one she’d choose to do. “I’m falling in love with you.”

  Chapter 26

  Jaci

  I look at Sebastian. Everything around me comes to a standstill as his words wash over me. The connection between us is so strong, stronger than I ever thought I’d feel. I lick my suddenly dry lips and take a deep breath. “Take me home, please.” Hurt flashes in his eyes before he masks it. He gives me a curt nod and turns to put the truck in reverse. I place my hand on his forearm, and his muscle stiffens beneath my fingers. “Your home, Sebastian.”

  He nods and moves his right hand from the wheel to link his fingers with mine. Our fingers twine as he drives back towards the bar. We are two blocks away from both the bar and the tattoo shop. He mainly works, sleeps, and plays in the same area.

  The duplex he pulls up in front of is decent. Each side has a one car garage and two spaces in front of the home. There is a small porch on either side, one is empty, and the other has a few kids’ toys and a bike in it.