A Secret to Keep

by Railyn Stone

  “You’re not the same. If you recall, that’s why I left. You stopped being the Gates I knew and became this ruthless, money and power hungry person I didn’t recognize.” Her intensity was a little unnerving and he wondered why she cared so much about his transformation.

  “Why does it matter now Sloane? You’re engaged and about to be married to someone else, remember? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you still cared.” He winked, looking over his glass at her and trying his best to quell the enormous wave of tension billowing in the air.

  “Gates, regardless of what happened between us…I’ll always care about what happens to you. I just couldn’t handle you turning into a workaholic and focusing so much on business all of the time. Near the end, all we did was argue. You know that. I guess I just couldn’t understand what happened and why you gave up on us?” She continued to push and the faint lines of tension that had disappeared from his face earlier started to return.

  “I didn’t give up on us Sloane. You did when you left.” Returning her impassioned scowl, he wished she wouldn’t keep pushing the issue.

  “I left because you weren’t the man I fell in love with anymore.”

  “Look, I don’t want to fight with you over this. We’ve had a pretty decent day together. Can’t we leave it at that?” Gates waited for her to agree so they could move on to another topic. The concentrated silence between them was thick; like morning fog hanging over a secluded pond.

  “I just want to know why?” She asked again and he could see she wasn’t going to give up until he gave her an acceptable reason in her eyes.

  “Sloane, forget it. It’s been over a year and things are different for both of us now. A lot different.”

  “No. I want to know why you changed and became exactly like your father.” Hitting a nerve when she mentioned Victor, Gates felt the muscles in his jaw clench to the point of nearly giving him a headache. He never liked being compared to his father regardless of if it were true or not.

  “You think I wanted to be like this? You think I wanted to be like my father? I didn’t. I never wanted to be him, Sloane.” Placing his water glass down, he clutched the edge of the bar and dropped his head to stare at the floor, knowing she was right. He had to look at anything but her inquisitive and judgmental eyes. He walked back to the window to see the streaks lighting the city. He’d never been one for losing his temper. Instead of getting upset and yelling, he tended to get more and more quiet and his voice became insanely even. One of the very few differences between him and his father. “I became Victor McCall, the one person I never wanted to be,” he said in a much softer tone, realizing the magnitude of his transition.

  “How? I mean, you-”

  “It’s not hard when you’re forced into something you don’t want to do.” He looked to see confusion painted across her beautiful features. Before she could ask him to explain, he started in on his reasons for his difference in attitude. “Sloane, I didn’t want this life. I didn’t ask for it. I was trying my best to get away from it if you can remember.” When they first met, Gates spoke about traveling the world and how the two of them could see so many things together. He had ideas about what he wanted to do, but after his mother died, it seemed like that one incident changed his entire life. He was suddenly thrust into the CEO position to run the company for his father, whose health soon started to decline.

  “My sister didn’t want anything to do with our father’s company. Once she married Sam, she took off to London and never looked back. When my mother died, I was all Victor had left. It wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be with you. Foolishly, I figured if I could hold out long enough, do what the old man wanted, then I could have what I wanted. Unfortunately, you left before any of that could happen.”

  “Gates, why didn’t you talk to me about it?” He watched her expression change and he saw the one reaction he never wanted to see cross her beautiful features…pity. Gates never wanted anyone to pity him. He didn’t need it and he didn’t want it.

  “It wasn’t your problem to deal with, Sloane. You have no idea how hard my sister tried to convince me to distance myself from our father, but it was too late. I got deeper and deeper into Victor’s world. I thought I could do it without changing, but that was not possible.” He turned back to the window to watch the lightning continue its graceful ballet across the sky, wishing they could talk about anything but this.

  “But he’s gone now, so why-”

  “It’s not that simple Sloane. You can’t be some wallflower or pushover in this business. You’re either a shark or bait, there’s no in-between.” He heard her walk up behind him and he reluctantly moved to look at her. His heart sank knowing she’d never look at him quite the way she used to when she was in love with him.

  “But you can do whatever you want. You own the company. If you wanted to walk away from it, you could.”

  “And why would I do that? The one person I would’ve walked away from it for is engaged to someone else.” They stood staring at each other in silence, both feeling the weight of Gates’ words. Thunder filled the void with a deafening roar. He could barely stand to be so close to her knowing he’d never be able to hold her again. She belonged to someone else and it was useless to daydream otherwise. He breathed in deeply, feeling the true pangs of remorse before he walked past her to the living room.

  She watched him slowly cross the room. “Gates?”

  “It’s late and we should try and get some sleep.” He grabbed a pillow and one of the extra blankets from the closet. “I’ll sleep out here, you can have the bed.”

  “Gates.” She repeated, stepping towards his retreating figure.

  “Goodnight, Sloane.” Exiting the room, he closed the double doors behind him and leaned back on the frame, closing his eyes. He listened for a moment, thinking maybe he should go back in the bedroom, pull her into his arms and try and make her forget anything bad he’d ever done to her. Who was he kidding? It didn’t matter. She didn’t want anything to do with him. She was marrying Chase. They had a son together and she’d moved on. He walked over to the sofa and sank down on the edge. He listened as the thunder continued to rumble through the sky and intermittent flashes lit up the room. Fluffing up the pillow, he lay his head down and stared at the ceiling, realizing sleep would escape him yet again.

  ###

  Sloane stood at the closed door with her hand resting on the doorknob, contemplating going in and telling Gates the truth. She stood there for what seemed like an eternity, wrestling with the unrequited feelings she’d been trying to forget. She had told him she’d always care about what happened to him. That was a lie. Truth is, she’d never stopped loving Gates but she couldn’t bring herself to turn the knob. Instead, she retreated to the bed and lay on her back watching shadows bounce around the walls and wondering if he was awake, and about the things they said to one another. She pushed him. Why did she have to push him to tell her anything? He was right. They did have a pretty decent day and then she ruined it by pressing him about his change in personality. Who was she to press him about the changes in his life when she’d walked out on him, and even worse, kept his son a secret? But, she wanted to know. Needed to know why he seemed to pull away from her and cancel plans with her. She needed to know why he started putting everything before her. When his skin had touched hers, she nearly liquefied. His arms were the only ones she ever wanted to feel around her. Hell, who was she trying to fool? Her feelings for him were bubbling right below the surface ready to break through. She could feel the tears slide down the side of her face and mingle with her hair above her ear. She gently wiped at the traitorous liquid before she curled up on her side. How could she keep the father of her son in the dark about his child? What had she done? She lay there feeling more alone than she ever had before and her lids grew heavy and she finally drifted off to sleep.

  She awoke to the sun streaming in the windows; brightening the room as the rays bounced off of the star
k white linens from the bed. Lying on her back she blinked at the blank ceiling and tried to push the thoughts of the previous night out of her head. Regardless of the fallout, she knew she had to tell Gates the truth. It was only fair and the guilt was starting to eat her alive. Pushing her body out of bed, she pulled her robe tight and noticed her clothes hanging on the door to the bathroom. She heard his muted voice from the other side of the door and wondered if Gates would still be cordial with her or if they would retreat to awkwardness. Quietly, she took her clothes and entered the bathroom to get dressed. Once she finished, she finger combed her unruly hair and fastened it into the best bun she could. There was only so much she could do to make herself look presentable with a lip-gloss, a tube of mascara and a few bobby pins she found in her purse. Exiting the room, she took a deep breath before heading into the living room area to find Gates already dressed and on the phone. Current events were flashing across the television and he motioned towards the table where there was a full breakfast spread complete with linen napkins and freshly squeezed orange juice. No matter what was going on between them, she could always count on him to take care of her. Sitting down to feed her nervous, yet empty stomach, she watched Gates talk with one person after another, conducting business. Did he ever get a moment’s peace? His phone never seemed to stop lighting up.

  “Good. I’ll be back today. Until then, he’ll wait,” she heard him say as he stood in front of the window. She couldn’t help noticing his strong broad shoulders and how his clothes hung on him like a model. Of course they would, they were tailor made to fit him, but then again anything he picked up off of a rack would fit him perfectly. He still had a very chiseled and athletic body. She’d noticed that when he was half-dressed the night before and she wondered if he still ran at least five miles a day.

  Nibbling on her toast, she offered up a half smile when he hung up and turned towards her.

  “Did you sleep well?” He sat down across from her, not bothering to acknowledge the awkwardness of their conversation the previous night.

  “Yes, thanks.” She was more than a little nervous sitting with him and contemplating exactly how to tell him about his son. Last night had been a revelation of sorts for her and she wanted to believe she wasn’t the only one at the table dealing with complicated feelings.

  “As soon as you finish, we can leave. I’ve already called the airport and the pilot is getting the plane ready.” He was so matter-of-fact that if he had been dealing with feelings for her, it wasn’t very evident.

  “Oh, okay, well, I’m ready.” She took a swallow of her juice and placed the glass down on the table.

  “You hardly ate anything, don’t rush. Plus, I don’t want Chase to believe I kept you out all night and didn’t at least feed you.” He shrugged and pulled himself out of the seat to answer another call.

  It felt like an oversized marble rolled up and sat right in the back of her throat hearing him mention Chase. She hated she’d even brought her friend into the situation or lied to Gates about Brayden. She had to come clean. It would solve everything, right? Maybe he wouldn’t hate her for keeping his son from him. Who was she kidding? He’d told her in no uncertain terms last night that in his business he had to be a shark. There was no room for a baby in that life. She continued to consider telling Gates about Brayden when she looked up from her plate and noticed he was growing more and more agitated by his phone call. Judging by the even tone of his voice, something was wrong.

  “What do I pay you guys for? Is everyone in the office that incompetent they can’t handle one simple task? Where’s Gelly? Do I sound like I care? Put her on the phone.” The malevolence in his voice revealed whatever was taking place was not sitting well with him at all. “What the hell is going on?” Sloane recognized the nuances in his voice and his back and forth pace hinted at the significant frustration he was feeling. She tried to focus on the fruit in her plate and the images scrolling on the TV instead of listening to his call, but she wasn’t having any luck. By the way the tension cut across his face, she knew he was not going to be in a pleasant mood once he got off the phone. “Forget it. Forget it, just take care of it and take him off this deal and any others. I don’t care, Gel; I don’t need someone like that handling anything for me. He needs to be gone before I get back.”

  Sloane’s mouth gaped open hearing Gates dispose of an employee quicker than she could bat an eyelash. That quickly he’d turned back into a brutal businessman and had basically fired an employee over the phone for what seemed like a simple mistake. Maybe now’s not such a good time to tell him about Brayden. Ending the call, he stood rubbing his temples. “Sorry about that.”

  “Everything okay?” She pushed back from the table placing her linen napkin on her now empty plate and walked across the room to stand near him. It was unsettling to see his persona change so quickly. If she didn’t know any better she would swear she had been listening to his father. She noticed his eyes seemed a lot more tired than they used to be.

  Closing his eyes for a moment, he took a deep breath and gave her a half-smile. “Yeah, just another day at the office. You ready to go?” He reached for his jacket and motioned to the door.

  “Yes.” Grabbing her purse, she headed through the door and walked silently beside him. They quietly exited the hotel to the valet station out front and continued their silence during the ride to the airport.

  ###

  The fifty-minute flight to North Carolina was quick and very quiet. Gates stared out the side window and if he wasn’t doing that, he was reading through the downloaded messages in his phone. She watched him in deep thought, rubbing his temples from time to time and it was unnerving how cool and distant he seemed. Overnight he had returned to the aloof and distant manner he exuded when he first arrived in town; instead of the warm person he was on their way to Charleston.

  She was also a little shocked when he ended up putting her in a town car to be driven back to her car. “I would take you back myself, but as you probably heard, I’ve got some pressing matters to handle. It was great seeing you and having dinner. I’ll have Evan get in touch with you and Liyah about who your point of contact will be from now on.”

  “Oh, so you won’t be handling any of this anymore?” Of course he wouldn’t. He was the CEO; he wouldn’t have time to handle just one project. She should be happy about it, right? He was going back to New York and wouldn’t have any reason to come back, and for all he knew, she would be ‘marrying’ Chase and living her life happily ever after. That was the plan. Right?

  “No, my project managers handle everything.”

  “Right, of course.” Both of them stood looking at one another, not truly knowing what to say. Tell him the truth, Sloane.

  “So, take care of yourself, okay? And,” he added somewhat reluctantly, “make Chase take good care of you and Brayden too.” He was about to start back to the plane when she spoke up.

  “I will.” She felt her skin crawl at his last comment. Just tell him. “Thanks. Uh, you take care of yourself too. Gates, don’t...”

  Turning, he looked at her with questioning eyes. “Don’t?”

  “Don’t…work so hard, okay?” If she didn’t know better, she would think it was her turn to stall him from leaving. In a matter of hours, Gates managed to ignite her desire for him and she was starting to hate the idea of him leaving, which was crazy. This is what I wanted, right?

  “I’ll try not to. Well, I have to go. Duty calls.” He glanced at his vibrating phone before turning to answer it and she watched him ascend the steps to the plane.

  They’d gotten back relatively early, so it gave Sloane enough time to get home, shower, dress, pick up Brayden and take him to daycare and then head into the office. Once there, she tried catching up on her work and was so busy that she never got the chance to catch Liyah up on everything that transpired over-night. She hadn’t had time to talk to Chase; not that he was answering any of her phone calls. She wanted to talk to him
and smooth things over. She’d been so busy all day that she hadn’t even had time to think about Gates and before she knew it, she was packing up to leave the office. Checking her phone for messages, Sloane was a little apprehensive in listening to the voice messages. She had tried giving Chase a call again that morning, but he wouldn’t pick up. She figured her best bet would be to head to his place and face him rather than try and get him on the phone. She pulled her car into his driveway and trudged to the front door.

  She rang the doorbell and waited, hearing footsteps coming towards the door. Her heart beat faster with every step. “Hi.”

  “Wow. Sloane.” Standing on the other side of the threshold was Chase’s girlfriend, Hannah. Chase was absolutely enamored with the woman and Sloane could understand why. She was the embodiment of the good southern girl. Her father was in politics and her mother was a retired schoolteacher. She oozed charm and grace with every mannerism and gesture. Chase had been seeing her on a much more regular basis. He was so excited that it was turning more serious, because of just how sweet she was. However, at the moment, Hannah’s gaze was hard enough to carve a hole in a diamond and Sloane felt every bit of contempt aimed her way. She knew she would have to apologize to both of them, but she was hoping to talk to Chase first. If she were able to get him to forgive her, then maybe she’d have a shot of smoothing things over with Hannah. “Gates finally release you from captivity?” Sloane flinched at the sharp edge of Hannah’s sweet, condescending drawl as Hannah crossed her arms and shifted to one side.

  “I guess I deserve that.” Sloane looked at Hannah with apologetic eyes. “I’m so sorry, Hannah. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

  “Yeah, right. I’m not stupid nor naïve. I don’t know why you think the whole world has to revolve around you.” Stepping to the side, Hannah made a sweeping gesture inviting Sloane into the house. “Please, your majesty, please come in and enlighten me on exactly why you are hell bent on having your ex believe my boyfriend is the father of your son?” Sloane lowered her head as she walked past Hannah into the front room. “You think it’s okay for you to simply make up lies that affect everybody? Seems to me, if you had your choice, you’d drop everything and follow Gates to the end of the Earth, no matter who you inconvenienced on the way.”