A Secret to Keep

by Railyn Stone

  “Maybe we shouldn’t leave him?”

  “If you don’t want to leave, we don’t have to. But, you know your aunt will keep pushing you and will probably come and drive you to your house herself.”

  “I know. I feel bad leaving him.”

  “I do too. Look, we’ll just go and change. We won’t be gone long.”

  Nodding her head, she got in the car as he held the door for her.

  ###

  After showering and changing his clothes, Gates felt better. He’d been in a suit for over 24 hours and even though he was used to being in suits most of the time, he felt ten times better in the polo shirt and jeans he brought in his overnight bag. He ran his hands through his damp hair. He’d never had much experience with a child, much less a sick one. The only kids he’d ever been around were his nieces and nephew, but with them living overseas, their interaction was limited to phone calls and video chats. Walking out of the guest room, he strode through the living room and listened to the squeak of the screen door as he stepped out onto the front porch. Reaching down, he picked up Brayden’s ball and sat on the top step, watching the sun rising in the sky.

  He sat there for a few minutes watching the sun peaking over the horizon. Hearing the door open behind him, he continued to stare at the ball in his hands as Sloane exited the house and took a seat on the step. She looked a little more relaxed in a pair of jeans, a knit shirt, and a gray warm up jacket. Her hair was pulled up in a loose bun of curls, revealing her slender neck. When she sat down, he smelled the faint scent of her lavender soap waft through the air.

  “He loves playing with that.” She motioned towards the multicolored ball Gates held in his hands.

  “Really?”

  “Mmm, yeah. He tries to throw it every time he picks it up.”

  “Sloane, I’m an idiot.” Dropping his head, Gates stared at the bottom step. He hadn’t meant for it to come out so abrupt, but he was having a hard time keeping his emotions bottled up and before he knew it, his heart leapt out of his chest onto his sleeve.

  “Gates-”

  “Please, let me say this.” He put the ball down and turned towards her. “I’m sorry for putting everything before you. For not being there for you while you carried our son. I’m sorry for running away from you both when all you wanted was for me to get to know him and spend time with him.”

  “Gates, it’s okay.”

  “No it’s not. I put so many other things in front of you and I shouldn’t have. You’re the mother of my son and I couldn’t be bothered to be there for either of you. I gave you money; like that was going to make up for everything, and it can’t.” He stood from his place on the step and walked a few feet away.

  “Gates, first of all, you didn’t know about Brayden. What matters is that you’re here now.” He turned to see her standing near the steps.

  “Is that enough? Honestly, is that what you want? Me coming to visit on the weekends; or when he’s sick? Spend a little time with Brayden and then fly back to New York while you do the hard part and raise him? Is that what you want, because it sure as hell isn’t good enough.”

  “Gates-”

  “No, Sloane. That’s why I left the morning after Brayden’s party. I let my emotions take over and I didn’t think about what was best for you and him. I only wanted you. I wanted what I wanted and that’s all I was thinking about. I wanted you more than I think I ever have. Even though I know you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me; I know I’m not the best for you.” He felt like his chest would explode with the amount of frustration bottled inside of him. The scent of her lavender soap mixed with her shampoo reached out and touched every sensory nerve in his body. She was intoxicating and in that single step towards him, she had no idea how much power she had over him.

  “How can you say that?”

  “Sloane. I’ve done nothing but hurt you. And I’m nowhere close to being a great dad. Truly, what kind of father can I honestly be to Brayden? Coming and going in and out of his life; that’s not being a dad. And how fair is it to sleep with you and then hop on a plane and leave again? I couldn’t do that to either of you, so I thought if I distanced myself, then you could move on with your life. You could find someone else to give you and Brayden the life you deserve.”

  “Gates, Brayden does deserve to have a father in his life. I won’t deny that.” He looked down at her coming to stand in front of him and he felt her soft hands slip into his own. “But if anything, he deserves to have you, his father, in his life in whatever way he can. I’m not going to replace you in his life because you can’t be replaced.”

  “I don’t know how to be a father. Don’t you get it? My father was never there for me. He practically sent me away once I was able to form my own ideas. And once I was old enough, he used me for his purposes. Hell, he never even really wanted me. I don’t want to hurt Brayden like that. I don’t want to keep hurting you.”

  “You won’t.” Sloane placed her hands on his forearms and looked into his eyes trying to reassure him. “I know you won’t hurt your son. You’re not like that.”

  “Even you said I turned into my father. How can you have so much faith in me now?”

  “Because, that’s not who you truly are. I know that now more than ever. You are not Victor. Yes, a lot of things have changed between us, but I know you have a good heart.” She paused and placed her hand on his chest. “I know that about you. And I know I don’t want Brayden to have anyone else but you for his father.”

  “Are you sure about this? What kind of life could this be for him? For you?” He stared into her eyes and waited. He wanted to be there for both of them and give them the life they deserved. It was the only thing he wanted and he wasn’t sure how he could give it to them, but he wanted to try.

  “It’ll be our life. We’ll work this out. He needs both of us. And regardless of what you say, he’s already attached to you and doesn’t want anyone but you for his dad.” She smiled, curling her tiny hands into his, giving him a reassuring grin. “I know we can figure this out.”

  Pulling her hand to his mouth, he kissed it before pulling her into his embrace. For the first time in a long time, he finally felt like he was exactly where he needed to be. He breathed softly in her hair and then they walked hand in hand to the car to drive back to the hospital.

  ###

  Once back, they found out Brayden’s fever had finally broken and the doctors were pleased with the progress he’d made in the past few hours. Sloane could hardly contain her relief at seeing her little boy more responsive than when she brought him in. The doctors explained he still wouldn’t feel great for a few more days, but they were sure they’d caught it in time to keep it from progressing to anything worse. Brayden remained in the hospital for another day and once his fluids reached a normal level, Sloane and Gates took him home.

  Avery decided to head back to Charlotte once she knew Brayden was feeling better. Gates stayed for the rest of the week to make sure that not only Brayden got rest, but Sloane did too. He cancelled his meetings or had Evan handle them, so he could spend as much time as he could with Brayden and Sloane. From getting up with him at night when he cried or reading him a bedtime story, Gates was so attentive and he and Brayden were practically inseparable. One night in particular, Sloane managed to quietly take a picture of the two asleep on the sofa. Gates had finished reading Brayden a story and the little boy had fallen asleep on his father’s chest. Gates watched the little boy sleep until he nodded off too.

  “He’s definitely feeling better.” Sloane yawned and sat on the sofa beside Gates. They had just finished giving Brayden his bath and had put him down for the night. The little boy had splashed and giggled during the bath and was acting like his old self again, much to Sloane and Gates’ relief.

  “He’s quite a character. I’m amazed at how fast he picks up on things.”

  “He’s a lot like you.” She laughed at the thought of how demanding th
e little boy could be.

  “Oh? How’s that?”

  “Well, he has a tremendous amount of personality, a definite sense of humor and he can be very, uh, let’s see, demanding when he wants something.” She leaned her head back on the sofa cushions, leering at Gates.

  “Demanding? I don’t think he’s demanding, maybe more like, determined.” He grinned as she laughed at his reply.

  “Uh, yeah, sure Gates, determined. Either way, he’s a lot like you.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yes. I’ll never have to worry about him. He’ll be extremely successful and everyone will love him.”

  “Loved by everyone huh?”

  “Uh, yes.” Blushing, she looked away from Gates’ hypnotic gaze.

  “Wow. I had no idea that everyone loves me.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “Do I?”

  “Yes.” She nervously stood and walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She could feel her mouth getting dry hearing him walk in behind her and she had a feeling he wasn’t going to let her comments go.

  “Tell me what you mean by everyone loves me.” Taking the glass from her hand and placing it on the counter, Gates moved in closer. He stood so close that she became his prisoner when he placed his hands on either side of her on the counter. The whole week, she’d enjoyed spending time with Gates and they stayed up late practically every night talking and laughing. It felt good to have him there and she admittedly found herself more and more attracted to him.

  “I uh...” She chewed the inside of her cheek as his body gently pinned hers against the cabinets. The smell of his cologne made her knees wobbly as he looked into her eyes.

  “Well?”

  “You know what I mean.” She stammered, trying to look away from him but failing miserably. His hazel eyes had her entranced.

  “No, I don’t. It sounds like maybe you still have feelings for me; maybe even you still love me like ‘everyone’ does?”

  Ducking her head she gulped. “And why would you think that?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because you can’t seem to look at me.” He gently tilted her chin up to look him in the eye.

  “Okay, okay, so yeah, maybe I do still possibly have feelings for you. But we do have a son together and we shared a life together at one point, so I do still care about you, and what happens to you.”

  “And that’s it?” She could hear his tone turn more serious and she noticed the sincerity reflected in his gaze.

  “Well, yes, what else do you want me to say?”

  He paused for a moment and she continued to stare at him. She noticed his demeanor shift as he began to speak. “I want you to tell me you forgive me for being an idiot. That you meant what you said about wanting only me to be Brayden’s dad and that you feel the same way I do.”

  “How’s that?” She could barely hear her own voice dribble over her lips as she waited for him to continue.

  “I want you to say you still have feelings for me that go deeper than just caring about how I am. That you want a chance to see what can happen between us. Really happen. And we could raise our son together as a family. I want you to say you need me as much as I need you.”

  “Gates, I don’t…” She hadn’t expected him to be so blunt and honest with her. He’d opened up and put his heart on the line and it was something so unexpected that she thought she’d heard him wrong. She could see the apprehension in his eyes and for the first time in a long time, she saw the man she’d fallen in love with so long ago.

  “Say you’ll think about it.”

  “I…I can’t.” She could see the disappointment in his face as she spoke and he moved to turn away, but she reached out and grabbed his arm. “Gates, there’s nothing to think about. I know I want the chance for us to be together again. Honestly, it’s all I’ve thought about since the day I left. I didn’t know if you would ever be able to forgive me, or if you even wanted me back.”

  “You mean that?” She could see relief in his eyes.

  “Yes.” For the first time in a long time she felt a weight being lifted from her chest as they stood in her kitchen holding each other.

  Lowering his head to hers, he kissed her hard and she wrapped her arms around his waist. His hands left searing paths across her back as he pulled her to him. Gasping for breath, she glided her hands between them to unbutton his shirt. She quickly undid each button and he sucked in softly as her nimble hands pushed the material over his strong shoulders, grazing his skin, and she could feel his body react to her touch. Before his shirt could drop to the floor, he picked her up and placed her on the counter.

  She wrapped her legs around his midsection, pulling his body back in contact with her own. He looped his hands beneath her t-shirt, pulling the soft cotton material over her head. Her hair cascaded across her shoulders and he cradled her face in his hands before recapturing her slightly swollen lips with his. His soft yet firm lips left butterfly kisses across her skin, from her mouth to her neck and she moaned as she felt his hands tracing her sides. She kept her legs tightly wrapped around his bare waist as he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed as she straddled his lap and he reached behind her and undid the clasp on her bra. Sliding the lace material down her arms Gates looked into her eyes briefly before dipping his head to capture her taut nipple in his mouth.

  She whimpered, throwing her head back and relishing in the feel of his tongue ravishing her. “Please…”

  Breaking from his assault, he ran his hand up the back of her neck into her hair and gently positioned her head to look into his eyes. “What do you want from me, Sloane?”

  “Love me.” She begged him to satisfy the deep hunger and yearning radiating from the very core of her being. She could barely get the words out before he moved back to his previous task. Turning, he gently pushed her back to lie on the bed and torturously removed the rest of her clothes, taking time to tease her with light feather kisses across her skin. Their rushed passion in the kitchen turned into a steady burn and her body felt like it was on fire everywhere he touched her. She bit back the urge to scream when his firm lips grazed the overly sensitive spot beneath her chin. “Gates, please don’t tease me?” She panted like a dog on a 90-degree summer day and she felt light-headed from his ministrations.

  “Shhh, love. I’ve got a lot of time to make up for.” She trembled, feeling his breath roll over her midsection and she glanced down to watch him strategically place kisses over every exposed inch of her skin. He was a thorough lover and she knew he knew exactly what to do to make her body react. He carefully massaged her thighs with his powerful hands as he continued his assault, loving every part of her, and she dug her hands into his short-cropped hair, knowing she could take no more of the sensual bout.

  Moving slowly up her body, Gates settled his hips in between her legs and slowly pushed himself into her as he stared into her love-filled eyes.

  “Gates.” She struggled to catch her breath, digging her fingernails into his muscular shoulders and pleading for more. The more she begged, the slower he moved, taking his time to make sure she felt the love she asked for. Soon, both were moaning in sheer delight as they climaxed together.

  For a moment, they both lay in euphoric silence before he pulled her into the crook of his arm and kissed the top of her head. Stroking her bare arm, he looked in her eyes and smiled.

  “You’re quiet. You okay?”

  “I am now.” Looking up at him, she kissed him on the lips and settled into his embrace.

  Chapter 16

  “So, how’re you feeling?” Liyah played with Brayden, who had squeezed behind her on the couch and was trying to climb on her back with his hands tangled in her hair.

  “Probably a lot better than you with him crawling all over you like that.”

  “Whatever, you know what I mean.” Surprising the little boy, Liyah reached around to pull him onto the couch
and tickle him. She laughed as he twitched and giggled as she tickled his sides.

  “I would be better if I’d gotten more sleep this week.”

  “I know what you mean. I’m so glad this project is almost over.”

  “I’ve been so exhausted lately. I almost fell asleep in that meeting Monday and I’m looking forward to some time off.”

  “It won’t be long before you’ll have a whole lot of time off.” Liyah teased. Sloane had decided to take Gates up on his offer. She really didn’t have much choice as soon as Isabella got wind of the opportunity she had to stay at home and raise Brayden. She and Antony let Sloane know that in no uncertain terms if she wanted to come back after Brayden was in school, then she was more than welcome, but this was an opportunity she couldn’t pass up. She did, however, get them to agree to let her finish the hospital project first. “And how are you feeling about that time off with Gates?”

  “I feel fine. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “Aren’t you nervous about going to New York for Christmas?”

  “Why would I be nervous? It’s not like we haven’t been before.”

  “I know, I’m just saying, you and him and Brayden at Christmas. It’s going to be a real family moment for you. Something you’ve been wanting.”

  “Yes, but it’s not like we haven’t been spending time as a family.”

  “Sloane, this is special. This is CHRISTMAS. You know anything can appear in your stocking at Christmas.” Sloane laughed at Liyah’s dramatics.

  “Okay, stop it Liyah. Gates and I are just now getting back to a good place. I know what you’re hinting at and neither one of us has even remotely talked about that.”

  “It could happen, right?”

  “I’m not against it, but I think Gates is still getting used to being a dad. Let’s not rush a wife into the picture too.”