Through The Dark

by Jae

  “Keep me warm.”

  With those cold and emotionless words, all of my hope fades. My eyes sting with more tears while he repositions me to his liking, gently draping my body over his side. I rest my head on his chest and reach up to trace the daisy that’s tattooed over his heart with tears slowly trickling down my cheeks and onto his skin. Liam does nothing to comfort me.

  I don’t know how long I lay with him like this, feeling completely exhausted from my lack of sleep over the past few days. I carefully adjust my body so I can peer up at my beautiful man. Liam’s eyes are closed, his long eyelashes fanning across his cheeks. I brush my fingertips over his chest again before moving up and tracing his prominent collarbones; my gentle touch barley brushes over his firm jaw before my wrist is caught in his large hand, pushing mine away.

  “Liam, please.” I beg him in a whisper.

  My eyes finally close in defeat, my head resting back on Liam’s chest. I pray to be taken away from consciousness, for Liam to come back to me. As I drift off to sleep, the gentle touch of Liam’s fingers intertwining with mine feels like nothing but a distantly teasing dream.

  I wake the next morning before Liam does. Honestly, I’m not sure if I actually slept at all. I look up at the boy lying beside me and wish that when he opens his eyes, they will sparkle and shine for me. But I know they won’t because no matter how beautiful he looks in his sleep right now, his jaw is still firmly set. I lean forward and kiss his cheek out of habit before slowly untangling myself from him and walking out of his bedroom.

  I move into the bathroom across from the kitchen and do my business, brushing my teeth with an unused spare tooth brush and some toothpaste. When I’m done, I walk into the kitchen and make some coffee. I jump when I accidently knock the can off of the counter and then quickly move to pick it up, hoping I didn’t wake Liam in the process. I poke my head into the hallway and listen for any movement from the bedroom. When I don’t hear anything, I continue to make the coffee and pour it into two mugs – one for me and one for Liam.

  I pick up my mug and walk over to the windowsill in the living room. There’s just enough space for me to comfortably sit with my legs pulled up to my chest. I sip on my hot drink while I stare out the window, wondering what Liam’s mood is going to be like today. Is he still going to be angry with me or is he going to let it go and turn back into the sweet boyfriend I’m desperately craving? I’m surprised it’s lightly raining outside, making the beautiful Southern California scene outside the window appear a little eerier than normal. I let out a small snort from the irony of how much the atmosphere reflects how I’m feeling inside. This makes me remember a memory of me asking my Mom why it rains when I was a kid. She told me that sometimes the world gets sad and has to cry like we do so it can feel better and that’s why when the sun comes back out, there’s always a rainbow with it because the world wants us to know it’s happy again.

  My head snaps over to the doorway leading into the living room when I see Liam’s curly hair and panicky eyes peer through it in the reflection of the window; obviously searching for me. This thought brings some warmth into my chest; at least he was worried I had left. Not that the idea hasn’t crossed my mind a million times since I made the decision to stay yesterday.

  “I made you one…” I trail off, stupidly lifting my mug a little. “Some coffee, I mean.”

  I watch his eyes take me in. They aren’t nearly as black as they were last night, but they’re also not the bright emerald green color I love.

  “It’s probably cold now though.” I continue, dropping my head a little. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

  When Liam doesn’t respond, I start to grow nervous. I can tell by his eyes he’s still upset with me, but is he still angry? I go to take another sip of my coffee only to realize it’s gone. Not knowing what else to do, I begin to fiddle with the rim of the mug. As the silence grows longer, I glance back over and watch the rain slide down the window.

  “Thanks.” Liam says quietly, just when I thought all hope was really gone.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  It’s been two days since me and Liam’s fight, and he’s still mad at me. He somehow managed to convince my parents to let me stay with him while they’re on a business trip out of town. Even though I have my Jeep, Liam refuses to let me drive it. He brings me to work every day and is sitting in the parking lot waiting for me when I’m done. Every time before I get out of the Rover and when I get back in, Liam presses a quick kiss to my forehead. He doesn’t open the door for me though and won’t talk to me while we drive. Despite his annoying and distant behavior, I know he’s just trying to protect and watch over me.

  Ella apologized like crazy to me for going behind my back and telling Liam what happened when I returned to work, but I told her it was fine. It was dumb for me to ever think Liam wouldn’t find out and it wasn’t fair of me to ask her to keep something like that a secret from anyone. Zoie and Taylor had obviously found out too and were shocked when they finally saw the damage that was done to me.

  I understand I withheld some very big information from Liam, but I’m really starting to grow tired of his behavior towards me. He’s willing to keep me locked safely in his apartment, but he can’t find it in himself to look at or talk to me properly. It’s so annoying and irritating I could scream. All I want is for my loving boyfriend to come back to me. I want the guy who likes to tickle me and leave trails of sweet kisses across my shoulders. With these thoughts in mind, I decide to take matters into my own hands and risk pissing Liam off even more.

  I linger around the kitchen doorway, leaning my back against the wall next to it while I wait for Liam to finish what he’s doing. When his body appears in the doorway, I quickly remove myself from the wall and stand in front of him. I mirror Liam’s movements when he steps to the side, blocking his path towards an exit. When he steps to the other side of me, I follow suit. I watch Liam’s jaw clench, his dark eyes narrowing on me. He’s definitely annoyed. I shove my fearful thoughts away when he tries to use his height advantage to loom over me and make me feel intimidated.

  “Talk to me.” I demand, my voice almost begging.

  I’m surprised when I see Liam’s dark eyes falter for a moment, clearly not expecting my request, but quickly composes himself and throws his guard back up.

  “Move or I’ll move you.” He threatens.

  What? No. That’s not what I meant by ‘talk to me’. Why is he being so cold? Why won’t he just be my boyfriend again? God, I wish he would just kiss me again already.

  “Not like that.” I frown while gazing up at him.

  I take a step closer and grab the back of his neck, pulling his face closer to mine. I brush my lips against his, hoping to ignite something inside of him. Unfortunately nothing happens. I might as well be kissing a brick wall. I sigh, sliding my hands from his neck, over his shoulders, and down his arms until then fall off at his clenched fists. Every muscle tenses under my touch and it breaks my heart. Is he really that upset and repulsed by me now? So I’m good enough to keep him warm at night, but I’m not good enough to be remotely intimate with anymore?

  I know exactly what Liam’s attempting to do when his arms reach out and his large hands take a hold of my waist. He’s unsuccessful though, instantly putting me back on the ground when I start to squirm in his hold. I stumble back slightly, not expecting him to set me down so roughly and my own anger and annoyance starts to build in my stomach as I push him back by his shoulders.

  “Stop it! Stop doing that! Stop picking me up like I’m some helpless child you can just brush off whenever you want to! I am your girlfriend, Liam! You have to talk to me!” I yell, feeling beyond frustrated now. My chest starts to rise and fall at an uneven rate, but Liam takes no notice. Instead he ignores my outburst and he brushes past me, lightly knocking into my shoulder. Tears sting my eyes as I stare down the empty hallway, feeling like my heart has just been ripped out and stomped on the ground. Why won’t he stop acting like
this? Can’t he see how much it’s hurting me? I harshly brush the tear that slides down my cheek away and compose myself before storming after him. I stare in disbelief at the sight of Liam sitting on the couch watching TV when I reach the living room.

  “Liam.”

  His frown deepens when I walk around the couch and stand in front of him, the coffee table being the only thing separating us.

  “I can’t see through you.” He glares.

  “Good.” I reply in a hard voice. “I don’t care.”

  The sound of Sports Center starts to grow annoying to my ears extremely fast. Liam’s eyes stay narrowed on me until I turn and press the button on the TV to shut it off.

  “Talk to me.” I demand again.

  Liam stays silent.

  “Why won’t you talk to me?” I cry, picking up a pillow on the floor and throwing it at him.

  “How am I supposed to talk to you when I don’t know how to even look at you?” He finally bursts, tossing the pillow across the room.

  My eyes widen and I take a step back at his words, feeling like I just got hit with a ton of bricks.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Liam asks, his voice rising even more.

  “Because I wanted to protect you, Liam! I wanted to keep you safe for once!” I shout back. “He said he’d kill you and Tony if Ella and I told anyone.”

  Even with tears stinging the back of my eyes, I force myself to stay strong and stand my ground. I will not let him intimidate me into silence. We are going to talk about this whether he likes it or not. When Liam stands from the couch, I take another step back, only to bump into the entertainment center. I sometimes forget how extremely frightening he can be.

  “I don’t need to be protected! I can take care of myself!” He shouts, his voice washing over me like ice. “Which is little to be said for you!”

  “How dare you!” I yell, pointing an accusing finger at him. “I defended myself against Colin! I remembered everything you told me the day we were in the boxing ring and I defended myself! I’m so sick of everyone, especially you, thinking I’m some poor helpless girl because I’m so little! I stood my ground and I fought back. So please, just take a second and try to look past your stubborn anger and be proud of me!

  “And I didn’t tell you because I can’t bear the thought of anything happening to you. That’s why I asked you to stop fighting, and that’s exactly why you do need protecting, Liam! You’re too damn eager to act without thinking and one of these days it’s going to get you extremely hurt or maybe even killed. Do you understand what that would do to me? Just the thought makes me sick. I wouldn’t be able to handle it. God damn it, Liam, it’s because I’m in love with you!”

  All of these words tumble out of my mouth before I have a chance to completely process what I’m even saying. Liam’s eyes are spread wide as he stares at me, his mouth slightly hanging open like he wants to say something but doesn’t know how. My bottom lip starts to tremble when the silence begins to drag on for too long and I make a dash for his bedroom. I swallow the lump in my throat while I quickly pack up my things. When I turn around, I’m met with Liam standing in the doorway of his bedroom, still struggling to say anything.

  “I’m going home.” I mumble, quickly pushing past him and running towards the front door.

  “Daisy.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut at the sound of Liam’s voice softly saying my name before I quickly unlock the door, yank it open, and rush out. I choose to take the stairs, knowing the elevator will take too long to get up to Liam’s floor. I barely make it to the last step before completely breaking down. I sit down and drop my head into my hands, trying to collect my thoughts. What the hell just happened? Did I really just confess my love for Liam and then run away? My mind swirls while I try to collect myself. But one question stands prominent at the front of my mind: Why didn’t Liam say he loved me too? The sound of Liam’s feet nearing closer as he bounds down the stairs breaks me out of my thoughts. I scramble to get up and grab my things before pushing through the door to the lobby and then the doors that lead outside. I quickly rush to my Jeep, glancing back to see Liam running out of the building when I get in. I somehow manage to put on my seatbelt and start the engine at the same time. I hastily turn on my windshield wipers before shifting the gear stick into reverse and then drive; flying out of my parking spot and onto the street.

  “Daisy!” I hear Liam yell desperately over the sound of the rain and passing cars. “Daisy, wait!”

  I barely make it onto my porch before I hear someone’s car come flying up my driveway. When I turn around, I expect it to be Liam, but am extremely surprised when it’s Tony.

  “Tony?” I ask with concern when he gets out of his car. “What are you doing here?”

  “You need to come with me.” He answers while quickly rushing up to my doorstep and grabbing a hold of my hand before dragging me back to his car.

  “Why? What’s going on?” I ask after he opens the back door and I climb into the seat, finally noticing Ella sitting quietly in the front passenger seat.

  “It’s Liam.” Tony says before closing the door and quickly rushing over to the driver’s side.

  “What’s wrong with Liam?” I ask as he reverses out of my driveway.

  “He’s completely lost it, Daisy.” Tony tells me, speeding down the streets. “He went looking for Colin.”

  I dig my nails into my palms while I stare at Tony.

  “What are you talking about?” I demand.

  “I called him about fifteen minutes ago to ask if you guys wanted to go get dinner with Ella and I but when he picked up the phone he immediately started freaking out, asking if we’d heard from you or knew where you were and then he started rambling about Colin and how he’s going to find him and all this other insane stuff. Before I could respond though he hung up and I kept trying to call back but it kept going straight to his voicemail.”

  “Have you heard from him since?” I panic.

  “Yeah, he sent me a text just before I got to your house.”

  “And?”

  “And,” Tony pauses, glancing at Ella and then back at the road. “He found Colin.”

  My body completely freezes at Tony’s words. Liam found Colin? This isn’t good. This is not good at all. If we don’t stop Liam, he’s going to kill Colin. My heart is practically in my throat while Tony floors it to our destination. I’ve never experienced a car ride like this in my life and I know without a doubt that Liam wouldn’t approve. I’m shocked at how seemingly calm and quiet Ella is being. We come to a screeching stop at a bar near downtown. I jump from the car, stumbling a little before running towards the entrance.

  “Daisy, wait!” I hear Tony and Ella yell at the same time.

  I ignore them while I push the heavy door open and move inside. All of the events that took place earlier today vanish from my mind as I stand on my tippy-toes, searching around for Liam. As of right now, I don’t care that he didn’t say he loved me too. All I care about is finding him and stopping him from doing something stupid. That’s when my eyes fall on a tall, curly haired boy on the other side of the packed room. His large hands are gripping Colin’s shirt, forcing him up against a wall. My legs move forward when I see Liam tug Colin off of the wall, only to slam him back into it. A hand on my shoulder yanks my vision away from the furious boy I love. I look up to see Tony peering down at me and Ella beside him, both of them following my line of sight to witness Liam dragging Colin down a dark hallway. We all instinctively run to catch up. It’s going to happen again. Liam is going to lose control just like he did when he attacked his Dad. The door at the end of the hallway swings open and I follow after Tony who has taken the lead, Ella coming up behind me. We have barely made it outside before Liam throws a heavy punch to Colin’s stomach, causing him to double over.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” Liam spats “What kind of man hits a woman?”

  Tony attempts to guide Ella and I back inside, repeating over and o
ver again that he should’ve never brought us with him. But I refuse to move, unable to stray from the image in front of me. The rain in beginning to pick up some and is quickly drenching all of us. Liam’s hand grabs onto Colin’s shoulders, holding him in place while he sharply raises his knee and roughly rams it into his stomach.

  “Please, stop him, Tony.” I beg. “Please stop him.”

  I stand frozen in fright, Ella’s slick hand sliding into mine, while we watch a boy I know can be so caring and gentle repetitively strike the male who had attacked me as revenge against him. Colin had appeared so powerful when confronting me, but now he’s unrecognizable as he stumbles to the ground after Liam punches him in the jaw. For a moment, I wonder if this is at all what their fight looked like at the dinner. Tony finally complies with my pleading request and grabs a hold of Liam’s shoulders, tugging him back. I can only watch on as Liam carelessly shoves Tony away, too absorbed in inflicting pain on Colin. Next Colin receives a kick to the shoulder, making him loudly cry out in agony and curl up into a ball. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if he walks away with a few broken bones; if he can walk away at all that is. The way Liam is laying into him is something quite horrific; no one should ever have to witness something like this. This is going too far. I try to move forward, desperate to do something, but I’m quickly halted by Ella’s heavy hold on my hand and Tony raising his hand and mouthing for us to stay put.

  “How dare you touch her!” Liam bellows, kneeling down and forcing Colin onto his back before landing two solid punches to his face. “I’ll fucking end you!”