The Marriage Beat

by Doreen Roberts

  Well, he’d know by tonight, she promised herself. Or at the very least, he’d have a good idea how she felt about him.

  The doorbell rang and she flew to the door, anticipating his smile when he saw her. Having listened to the forecast for a very warm day, she’d dressed in khaki shorts and a sea-green sleeveless shirt.

  Now that she could use two arms, she’d managed to get her hair back in its usual smooth style, instead of the flyaway arrangement that had sufficed for the past week. It had been sheer luxury to use some eyeshadow again, and she was happy with the result, confident she was looking a lot more presentable than she had the past few days.

  She opened the door eagerly, smiling from the pure pleasure of looking at Tyler’s face again.

  He wore jeans and a dark blue polo shirt, and looked wary, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to expect from her. His glance slid over her in quick appraisal. “Hi, you ready?”

  “I’ve been ready for ages.” She followed him down to the car, and waited for him to open the door for her before climbing in.

  “I thought we’d stop for pancakes on the way,” he said, as he pulled out into the street.

  “Sounds good to me.” She settled back in her seat, prepared to enjoy the day.

  The restaurant he chose was one of her favorites, and she ordered the blintzes. She watched Tyler consume bacon, eggs, a stack of pancakes loaded with syrup, and felt compelled to warn him about his cholesterol count.

  “When was the last time you had it checked?” she asked, as they resumed their journey down the gorge toward Hood River.

  “My last checkup, a year ago.”

  “And was it high?”

  “No higher than it usually is, I guess.”

  She shook her head at him. “You really should watch what you eat.”

  “I’ll bear it in mind.”

  She felt a pang of uneasiness and sent him a sideways glance. He was back to being distant again. Was it something she’d said? She searched her mind, but couldn’t think of anything that might have upset him.

  Deciding it was her imagination, she leaned back to enjoy the scenery. Towering walls of craggy rock soared toward the sky on either side of the wide Columbia River. Every now and then crystal-clear water gushed and cascaded down, splashing between the spindly pines that clung to their precarious hold on the slippery slopes.

  A light haze hung over the gorge, turning the distant rocks a grayish-blue. Above them, a hot, blue sky promised a cloudless day. Perfect weather to be on the river.

  “Did you bring suntan lotion?” Tyler asked, as they swept along the fast highway alongside the river.

  “I did.” She opened her purse and took out the tube of cream to show him. “I need some help to put it on my left arm, though.”

  She could have easily managed it herself, but she could hardly tell him that. Besides, the thought of Tyler’s fingers rubbing suntan lotion on her arm was too pleasurable to miss.

  “I’ll take care of it when we get there.”

  He’d sounded gruff and she frowned. This was not going the way she’d planned. She’d just have to try harder.

  They arrived in the little town of Hood River in plenty of time to board the stern-wheeler. Tyler led her to the front of the boat, where they would have a clear view of the magnificent scenery surrounding them on all sides.

  “You’d better put this on me now,” Megan said, handing him the suntan lotion. “I’ll burn easily out on the water.”

  He took the tube from her and squeezed some into his palm. “I see you’re managing to wrap your arm yourself,” he said, as he smoothed his palm down her bare skin.

  Megan caught her breath as a delicious tingle pervaded her body. “Yes,” she said unsteadily. “It took a few practice runs, but I’m getting pretty good at it now.”

  “So I see.” He concentrated his gaze on his fingers as he moved them in small circular motions down her arm.

  She bit her lip in an effort to prevent a moan of pleasure from escaping.

  “You’re also getting pretty good at dressing yourself,” he said quietly.

  She gave him a sharp look, but he was still concentrating on her arm. “It’s taking me a lot longer of course, but it’s amazing how you can manage to find ways to do things when you have to.”

  He nodded. “Amazing.”

  Her uneasiness grew. What was he getting at?

  She was about to ask him outright when he asked casually, “You’re not using your injured arm to do things, by any chance, are you?”

  Guilt swamped her, and she knew her face was getting red. She never was any good at lying. She was beginning to hate this pretense. Fortunately she was saved from answering by the deafening blast from the stern-wheeler’s whistle.

  “I guess we’re off,” Tyler said, handing her the suntan lotion.

  “Great!” She dropped the tube into her purse and leaned against the rail, watching in fascination as the huge craft headed slowly out to midstream.

  Tyler knew a lot about the river and its history, and spent the next hour or so pointing out interesting landmarks and fascinating facts that kept her enthralled. He showed her the nest of a bald eagle and shortly after she was thrilled to see the bird itself perched in the branches of a lofty pine.

  “You must have studied this area quite a lot to know so much about it,” she remarked, after he’d explained how the pioneers had floated everything downriver on rafts in order to reach the end of the Oregon Trail.

  “The history of this place fascinates me,” he said, leaning his elbows on the rail beside her. “I can imagine how all this must have looked to the pioneers, after traveling for six months across the country to get here. After some of the places they’d been through, Oregon must have seemed like paradise.”

  “Once they’d crossed the mountains, anyway.”

  She leaned her back against the rail and looked at him. His dark hair was ruffled by the wind, and the sun had deepened his tan. The banded sleeves of his shirt clung to his muscled arms, and the open neck bared his throat.

  He looked so much more relaxed now, almost boyish in his pleasure of the magnificent surroundings. She felt a great rush of tenderness, so much that her throat closed up.

  He chose that moment to glance up at her. Some of her feelings must have shown in her face, as his expression changed. He gave her a slow smile.

  She smiled back. “Pretty impressive, isn’t it?”

  “Very.” His gaze wandered down to her mouth, making her feel suddenly breathless.

  She looked away from him, to where the eagle now soared above the trees, gliding just above the branches. “It’s all so quiet and peaceful, it’s hard to believe we are so close to the city. You can almost sense how the pioneers must have felt, seeing it all for the first time.”

  “There’s so much land out there.” He straightened up, his hand resting lightly on the rail next to hers. “It’s hard to imagine how those people literally walked over two thousand miles of it.”

  Megan looked down at his strong, tanned hand lying so close to hers. Obeying the impulse that was impossible to ignore, she laid her hand on top of his. “Thank you for bringing me here today, Tyler. This is the best time I’ve had in ages.”

  He stared down at their linked hands for a long moment, then to her utter delight, he gave her a wide grin. “Me, too. I guess I owed you this for everything you’ve been through this last week.”

  She shrugged. “I told you my getting hurt wasn’t your fault It was as much mine for not paying attention. I feel kind of bad though that you gave up your vacation to take care of me.”

  “There’s no need to feel bad. I had nothing better to do, anyway. It was good to get away from the job for a while, and besides, I got free cooking lessons.”

  “And you were probably bored out of your skull.”

  Her pulse leaped when he lifted her hand, studied it for a moment, then raised it to his mouth and lightly kissed her fingers. The hungry warmth in his ey
es made her heart beat faster. “No,” he said, in his husky voice, “I wouldn’t say I was bored at all.”

  “Well, I enjoyed having you around,” she said cautiously. “I’ll miss you when it’s over.”

  A brief cloud passed over his face, but his voice was light when he said, “I don’t want to think about going back to work. Let’s just enjoy the day and to heck with tomorrow.”

  “That sounds like a great idea.” She’d matched his tone, though inside a little niggle of doubt worried her. She didn’t want to examine her thoughts too closely, for fear of what she might find there. All she knew was that in those brief words, she’d heard a note of finality. She didn’t want to think about what that might mean.

  “I used to take Mason down to the river in Bend when we were kids,” Tyler said, turning back to the rail.

  The last time he’d talked about his brother, Megan had sensed that it was a painful subject for him. Thrilled that he felt like talking about it to her, she said carefully, “I bet you both had fun.”

  Tyler nodded. “We did. We used to imagine we were on a pirate ship sailing out to sea. We’d spend hours fighting off rivals, or making invisible mutineers walk the plank. We’d go home with our clothes wet and muddy, and my mother would yell at us and send us both to our rooms, but we couldn’t wait to come back and do it all over again.”

  Megan laughed. “It was worth getting into trouble for, right?”

  “Every bit of it.” His smile held more than a hint of sadness. “I think Mason really believed that one day he’d sail away on a pirate ship and never have to come back to the real world.”

  Her heart ached for him. “Perhaps he did.”

  He looked taken aback, and stared at her, as if she’d said something profound. After a moment he said in a strange voice, “I like that. It makes it easier somehow.”

  She was terribly afraid she was going to cry. She wanted to put her arms around him, to hold him close and never let him go. She wanted to tell him everything she felt in her heart, and somehow find the words to tell him how much she loved him.

  All she could do was say quietly, “I’m glad. I know what it is to lose someone.”

  He nodded. “Your father. That must have been tough.”

  “It was. It was so sudden. I adored him, of course. I remember looking at him the day of the funeral. I just couldn’t believe that he wasn’t playing an elaborate joke on us, and wouldn’t suddenly jump up and laugh at us all for being so easily taken in.”

  “I know what you mean. It’s impossible to believe that someone you love could be taken from you like that, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.”

  She nodded, tears stinging her eyes.

  He reached out and caught one with the tip of his finger. “Sorry,” he said gruffly, “I didn’t mean to get you depressed. This trip was supposed to give you a break and take your mind off your troubles.”

  She managed a smile. “To give us both a break. And it’s wonderful. I’m so glad you suggested it.”

  He wiped the last of her tears from her cheek with his thumb. For a moment his fingers rested against her neck, and she brushed her chin over them in a soft caress.

  His eyes seemed to catch fire as he gazed at her. “Me, too,” he said softly.

  Somehow, deep inside, she knew she would remember that moment for the rest of her life.

  The day passed quickly after that. When the stern-wheeler arrived back at the landing stage, Tyler suggested stopping off at Multnomah Falls on the way back.

  They climbed halfway up the falls in the dry heat of the afternoon before giving up the struggle, and raced each other down again, teasing and laughing for most of the way.

  Tyler was ahead by the time they reached the last stretch and he waited for her at the bottom, arms outstretched as she laughingly stumbled toward him.

  Without giving herself time to think she ran headlong into him, and he caught her close against his heaving chest. Too far out of breath to speak, she rested her cheek against his shoulder until her lungs stopped gasping for air.

  He held her close, panting heavily himself, until she pulled her head back to look up at him. “That’s what I get for not working out lately,” she said breathlessly.

  “Me, too.” His voice sounded strained, and now her heart was pounding for a very different reason.

  She stood quite still in the circle of his arms. His mouth hovered just above hers. His face was serious as he stared down at her, and the warmth once more burned in his eyes. Seconds passed while she silently willed him with all her strength to lower his mouth to hers. Then his expression changed abruptly, and he let her go.

  “Let’s take a look in the gift shop,” he said, pulling her by her hand toward the small store at the side of the lodge.

  Shaken by the depth of her feelings, she went without protest. She felt dazed, as if she’d just woken from a deep sleep, as she followed him around the store. Her emotions had been on a roller coaster all day, swooping up and down with such velocity she felt weak and dizzy.

  One minute she was filled with glorious hope, the next dashed to the ground with doubts. If this was what being in love felt like, she wasn’t too sure she wanted to deal with it.

  Not that she had much choice, she thought, as she paused to look at the souvenir books on a stand at the back of the store. It was too late to back out now. She’d waited all this time for the right man to come along, and now that he was here, she was hooked. There was no going back. She was in love with Tyler Jackson, and she would be in love with him for as long as she lived.

  On impulse, she bought a book filled with pictures of the gorge for Tyler. When she caught up with him he handed her a lapel pin, a miniature replica of the stern-wheeler.

  “Just a reminder of a great day,” he said, smiling at her as she exclaimed with delight.

  “It’s lovely. Pin it on my collar for me, please?”

  He did so, standing there in the middle of the store, with people milling around them, his fingers warm against her skin as he fastened the pin.

  His face was close enough to kiss, but she curbed the impulse. Instead she breathed in the faint fragrance of his aftershave, and filled her mind with the memory that would be hers to keep, no matter what happened between them.

  Tyler once more lapsed into long periods of silence as he drove up the freeway toward the city. They stopped for hamburgers on the way, and although he answered her comments, he seemed preoccupied.

  He appeared to be wrestling with some deep thoughts, and Megan couldn’t help wondering if he was trying to come to terms with their relationship.

  Her stomach felt as if it were full of rocks by the time they reached her apartment building. She could only hope and pray that he would make the right decision, because she really didn’t know what she would do if he chose to walk away from her now.

  She waited in an agony of suspense for him to say something after he’d parked the car and cut the engine.

  For a while he said nothing at all, then he sat back in his seat and let out his breath on a long, slow sigh. “I have a couple of errands I have to run in the morning, so I probably won’t be here until around lunchtime. Do you think you can manage until then?”

  Again she was overwhelmed with guilt. “Of course,” she said quickly. “Please don’t worry about me.”

  If only he would look at her, she thought anxiously. If she could look into his eyes, maybe then she could tell what he was thinking.

  He sat so long in silence she felt she could stand it no longer. “Well,” she said, doing her best to sound indifferent, “I’d better go in. Thank you for a wonderful day, Tyler. I really had a good time.”

  He looked at her then, and the torment on his face made her feel like crying. “So did I.”

  She nodded, her throat aching with the effort not to break down. “Well, good night, then.”

  He reached for her so suddenly she was taken completely by surprise. His kiss was hard on her mouth,
insistent, demanding and just a little desperate. But oh, so sweet.

  She gave herself up to it, winding her good arm around his neck and kissing him with all the pent-up feelings she’d been holding onto all day. It was so wonderful to let go of them, and she put her heart into it.

  When he finally drew back, she was as breathless as she’d been on her way down from the falls.

  “I’ll take you to the door,” he said thickly, and climbed out of the car.

  Still trembling, she waited for him to open the door and help her out. The night air felt chilly on her bare arms after the heat of the day and she shivered.

  “Cold?” He curled his arm around her and held her close to his side as they slowly climbed the stairs together to the second floor.

  She clung to the moment, enjoying the warm, secure feeling of his body so close to hers. He paused at her door, and she fished the key out of her purse and handed it to him.

  He opened the door for her and gave the key back to her. “Good night, Megan.” He bent his head and gently touched her lips in a kiss that was all too brief.

  She couldn’t bear the thought of this incredible day ending. For some reason she felt that once she let it go, the new and fragile closeness they had shared that day would disappear with it.

  “Want to come in for a beer?”

  She hadn’t really expected him to take her up on the offer, and she wasn’t really surprised when he shook his head.

  “It’s late, and I should be getting back.”

  “Okay. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

  He gave her one of his deep, brooding looks, then brushed her cheek with his fingers. “See you,” he said quietly, and then turned and headed for the stairs.

  He didn’t look back as he turned the corner, and she felt a deep sense of loss that she couldn’t explain as she let herself into the apartment.

  She had never felt so alone when she walked into her empty living room. She couldn’t shake the melancholy, although she didn’t understand why she should feel so depressed.

  Tyler had kissed her, not once, but twice. She’d achieved what she’d set out to do. She just wished he’d seemed as happy about it as she felt, She had the impression that he was still holding back for some reason. If only she knew what it was.