by KA Sterritt
“Holly!” Audrey screamed back. “You made it.”
“Audrey and Corey, this is Aspen, Ryan’s sister, Gemma, and her boyfriend, Tai.”
“Don’t hold it against me,” Aspen said, holding her hands up and laughing.
Audrey laughed, but turned to me. “Didn’t go so well with Ryan?”
“I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. It’s too noisy in here.”
The music was thumping through my chest. It felt really good.
“Where are Zara and Jase?” I asked, trying not to scream in her ear.
“I think they’re on the dance floor.”
Corey handed us a glass of bubbles each then whispered in my ear. “Sam is here somewhere too. I think he was hoping you would come.”
“Thanks for the heads up.” I shook my head and took a big gulp of my drink.
“Come on. Let’s dance,” Gemma said. She grabbed Aspen by the hand who in turn, grabbed mine. Tai stayed at the bar with Corey and Audrey to finish his beer.
We lost ourselves in the throng of sweaty bodies. Before long, I was aware of hands on my hips and a body moving right up against my back.
“You’re here.”
I recognised Sam’s voice in my ear. I didn’t turn around.
Jason appeared at my side. “Are you okay?” he shouted into my ear.
I nodded rather than shouting back. Sam’s arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back. Although I didn’t want Sam the way I wanted Ryan, I couldn’t deny I enjoyed the attention.
“Happy New Year, Holly.” He kissed my cheek then turned to acknowledge my new friends.
“Smile, Holly.” Aspen took a photo of Sam and me with her phone. I looked back at Sam, blinded by the flash. Aspen laughed, then turned to Jason.
The music may have been deafening but you’d have to have been blind to miss the instant attraction between them. Their eyes lit up and the flirtation commenced immediately. I realised I had no idea about Aspen’s relationship status, but I figured if there was a significant other, they would have been at the engagement party.
Sam turned me around to face him and drew me in so I was flush against him. Looking him in the eye, I realised this wasn’t what I wanted. I no longer needed the emotional detachment of casual sex. Putting my hands on his chest, I pushed him away gently.
“Sorry, Sam. This isn’t going to happen.”
I turned and walked away to rejoin Audrey at the bar.
“Good on you,” she said when I sat on the bar stool next to her.
“Thanks. I just want to have a drink with my best friend then head home to bed.” I waved to the bartender and ordered one more drink. “It’s been a big night and I’m exhausted.”
“Well, I’m proud of you, Hol.” She chinked her glass to mine. “This year is going to be a good one.”
“Happy New Year, Audrey.”
I finished my drink then worked my way around the club to say my goodbyes. Jason and Aspen were the hardest to find. They had retreated to a quieter corner of the club and were deep in conversation.
“I’m done, guys.” I said, tapping Jason on the shoulder. “What do you want to do, Aspen?”
She looked to Jason.
“I’ll look after her.” He blushed a little, which was sweet. “I’ll come out and see you into a cab.” He turned to Aspen. “Can you give me five minutes?”
“Of course. I’ll see what Gemma’s up to.” She gave me a big hug and squeezed me so tight I couldn’t breathe. “I had a great time with you tonight, Holly. I’m so angry at my crazy brother.”
“Don’t be.” I kissed her on the cheek and promised to keep in touch.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Safely in the cab, I pulled out my phone to see what time it was. I had three missed calls and two text messages from Ryan.
A little concerned, I called him back.
He answered on the first ring. “Are you with him?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Just tell me you’re not with him.”
“Who?”
“Aspen texted me photos of you looking very cosy with that Tresswells asshole. I’m going out of my mind here.”
“Err… firstly, it’s none of your damn business, and secondly, don’t be such a bloody hypocrite. You’re here with your girlfriend. Remember?” I took a deep breath. “I told you at the party you need to leave me alone and let me move on. Apparently you didn’t have any problems moving on from me. Maybe you can give me some tips?”
“I’m really not in the mood for your smart mouth, Holly.”
“Well that works out well then, doesn’t it? It’s three in the morning. I’m going home. Happy New Year, Ryan.”
“Wait! She’s not here. Rachael and I broke up.”
Pause.
“Please, Holly. This is killing me. I need to see you.”
Pause.
“Please come and I’ll explain everything.”
Long pause,
“Okay, fine, I’ll come. But I won’t stay long.”
“Okay,” he exhaled. “See you soon.”
Despite my enraged brain telling me I was a gullible moron, my heart refused to listen. I heard myself asking the cab driver to head north across the bridge. I heard myself telling him Ryan’s address. What I didn’t hear was fear or regret in my voice. This man was fundamentally important to me. Whatever he had to say, I was going to listen. And then I was going to go home.
As I rode the lift up to the top floor, I stared at my reflection in the mirrored wall. I couldn’t help smiling. If the eyes really are the window to your soul, I was more at peace than I’d been for ten years. More green than grey, Mum’s eyes looked back at me. The vacant stare that had haunted me since I said goodbye to her in the hospital room was gone. It was one of the demons I had confronted and overcome. I could now remember her bright green eyes, expressing every emotion, every thought she’d ever had without the need for words. She talked with her eyes, and I had listened to every word they’d said.
The lift opened and I walked with purpose to Ryan’s door. It was slightly ajar. I pushed it open and entered his apartment. My heart was racing and those damn butterflies in my stomach were up to their usual antics, but it wasn’t nerves I was feeling. That was just what happened whenever he was near.
Ryan stood with his back to me, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows. I stopped before I reached him and cleared my throat.
Startled out of his thoughts, he turned around.
I was frozen to the spot, my heels pressing gently into the plush carpet of his luxurious lounge room.
Ryan’s eyes moved down my body then back up to meet my questioning eyes. I resisted the urge to cross my arms defensively over my chest. I wasn’t there to hide. I was there to listen.
Locking his gaze to mine, he moved slowly towards me. He didn’t speak. He didn’t need to. His eyes expressed the love I knew he felt for me. I had no doubt he was seeing the same thing in mine. The whole world disappeared as he brought his lips to mine. His tongue sought entry and I didn’t deny him. As our kiss deepened, I felt my whole body sigh in relief.
“I missed you,” he said, against my mouth.
“I missed you too,” I conceded. I had missed him so much, it hurt. But this wasn’t what I had come here for.
“Wait.” I pushed him away.
Ryan gave me a fierce look, as if he was about to go into battle.
“I just came here to talk. I’m not jumping straight into bed with you. A couple of hours ago you had a girlfriend. A week ago, I hadn’t heard from you in months.”
Running his hands through his hair, he nodded. “I was hoping we could have sex now and talk later.” He gave me a cheeky grin.
“Not how this works, buddy.”
“Okay. Let’s talk.”
He took my hand and led me over to the lounge. We sat down.
“Did you really break up with Rachael? I saw you kissing her at midnight.” The pain in my heart came back
with the memory.
“She kissed me. I didn’t kiss her back. She caught me by surprise – Holly, I pushed her away.” He cupped my face. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” He started feathering kisses along my jawline and down my neck.
I batted him away.
“I’m confused, Ryan. So much has changed since you left. I’m not the same person anymore.”
“I’m not the same person either. So much has happened. I want to tell you everything but I’m having trouble concentrating with you in that dress.”
“I don’t think you’ll concentrate any better with me out of the dress, if that’s what you’re implying?”
“I think it’s worth a try.” He edged closer. With his lips a hair’s breadth away from mine, he slowly started unzipping my dress.
My breath hitched when I felt his fingers on my back. His lips moved to my collarbone. I knew he was trying to distract me from my interrogation.
“You brought a girlfriend to your mother’s engagement party.” My brain refused to give up just yet.
Sighing, he stopped unzipping and sat back so he could look at me. “Preston Finance was sending her out here in January anyway, to assess the Aqua Vue progress. Dad was over visiting me in London. They really hit it off and he told her about Mum’s party. She applied to fly out earlier on annual leave.” He kissed my already exposed shoulder. “By that time, I knew I had made a huge mistake getting back together with her, but it was too late.”
“So you were planning on breaking up with her anyway?”
“Holly, I should never have gone there again.”
“Why did you?” I whispered. I hated even thinking about him with another woman, but this was important.
It was as if I’d dumped a bucket of ice water on him. He bent over, his elbows propped on his knees, and ran his hands through his hair. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. I assumed he was contemplating his response.
I sat quietly and waited.
Eventually, he sat back and turned towards me, propping his knee on the lounge. He was now looking directly at me.
I drew in a breath, a little taken aback by his intense gaze.
He took hold of my hands. “You told me there was no hope for us. I was completely gutted.” He stared at our hands, entwined together. “Deep down, I knew it wasn’t true and that we both just needed space to sort our heads out. But I was a bit of a mess, thanks to my crazy parents. Rachael was everywhere. I guess I just gave in to it.” The sorrow in his eyes, now boring into mine, spoke to me before he even said the next words. “I’m really sorry, Holly. Can you forgive me?”
“I understand the need to escape from your own head. I did it for years. But this wasn’t just someone random. It was your ex-girlfriend. You told me yourself she had wanted more from you. How can I trust that if we do try to make this work, you won’t just jet off to London and back to her bed any time we have a bump in the road?”
“Two reasons. One, I love you and if I can get you back now, I won’t ever let anything come between us again.”
My heart skipped a beat and my eyes blurred.
“And two?” I croaked.
“The time I spent with my father in London opened my eyes to a few things. He is a drunk and a fool. My mother deserves a medal for putting up with him as long as she did.”
“I’m sorry, Ryan.”
“Don’t be. I’m going to get him the help he needs. I came to realise my strongest relationship role models were just poorly matched. I won’t be making the same mistake they did.” He looked me in the eyes. “You are my match, Holly.”
I smiled through my tears.
“Seeing my mum with Jonathan confirmed what I already knew. When you find your soulmate, they become your future, regardless of your past.”
“I love you, too.”
The words came without hesitation, and with the full strength of meaning behind them.
“About bloody time. I didn’t think I’d ever…”
“Shh,” I interrupted him. “Sex now. Talk later.”
“Thank God.” Ryan pounced on me, kissing me hard. His weight pushed me down onto the lounge. He pulled back from me, propping his hands on either side of my head. “I love you so much.”
“Show me.” I fisted his shirt in my hand and pulled his mouth back to mine. I was ready for him to just take me right there, but Ryan had other ideas. “Come on. I’m going to at least try to take this slow.”
Pulling me up, he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. When we reached his bed, I turned so he could finish undoing the zipper on my dress. He kissed my shoulder gently as the beautiful red material pooled at my feet. I stepped out of it and turned around.
Ryan’s eyes shamelessly drifted over my body. His hands cupped my breasts, only partially hidden by my sheer, strapless bra and matching underwear.
“You are far more beautiful than my mind could possibly remember. I wasn’t doing you justice in my fantasies.”
Reaching back, I unclasped my bra. I dropped it to the floor without taking my eyes from Ryan’s increasingly lust-filled gaze. When I hooked my thumbs in my underwear and pushed them down to join the bra, he looked like he might explode. Judging from his tented trousers, that seemed like a definite risk. Completely naked, I placed my hands on my hips and smiled. “Your turn.”
Ryan ripped his clothes off like a man possessed. He wasn’t going to give me a show. When he reached for me, I dodged his hand and pushed him back onto the bed. This time, I was taking control.
Ryan laughed, scuttling back up the bed and reclining against the wall of pillows. “I think I’m going to like this new Holly.”
“Oh you have no idea, Mr Davenport.” I climbed onto the bed. Without any unnecessary foreplay, I straddled him. Taking him by surprise, I sank onto his impressive erection.
“Holy shit!” Ryan sat up and grabbed hold of my hips. “You weren’t kidding.”
Grinding down on him, I leant forward and kissed him hard. Our tongues went to war as our bodies connected in every conceivable way.
Wanting to feel him deeper, I sat up and leant back, resting my hands on his muscly thighs. His eyes were closed tight as he pushed up into me. Sensing my stare, he opened his eyes and smiled.
“Sorry about not taking it slow.” It came out a little breathless as my body surged towards the release it craved.
“You are perfect.” His voice matched mine as he struggled to keep his eyes open. He leant forward and took each of my breasts in his mouth, giving them equal attention. My head fell back in pure ecstasy. I was going higher and higher on every thrust.
“Come with me.”
His ragged voice pushed me over the edge. In those following moments, I saw the real fireworks display of the evening. Both our bodies shuddered and we clung to each other. We were together. We were as together as we could possibly be and nothing was going to tear us apart.
“I love you.” We said it in unison.
We lay together in silence, me draped across his chest, for a long time. The months apart and the less than ideal road to our reunion had combined to mean the sex was beyond anything I’d experienced before.
Suddenly I had a question, and I needed the answer immediately. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought to ask it before.
“How long is Rachael in Sydney for?” I propped myself up on my elbows.
“Talk about a buzzkill, Holly.” He stroked my hair and cupped my chin. “I just had the most mind-blowing sex of my life. I’d like to enjoy it for a few more minutes and then I’d like to get some sleep. It’s nearly five in the morning. Can we talk about this later?”
Impatient by nature, I poked him in the ribs. “If you tell me now and I like the answer, I might be ready for a repeat performance soon.”
“What if you don’t like the answer?”
“Just tell me.”
“Ugh.” His arm went across his face. “She’s here for a while. Preston Finance invests in a number of Australian project
s. It’s not just Aqua Vue that brought her out here.”
“Great.” I slumped back on his chest. Ryan kissed my head.
“No repeat performance, I’m assuming.”
“I think we could both use some sleep, don’t you?”
“I’m sorry, Holly. She won’t cause any problems between us.”
I lifted my head from his chest so I could look at him.
“We’re a done deal, Holly. You’re mine now.”
“I still don’t belong to you, Ryan.”
He laughed. “I forgot how argumentative you can be. But okay, we’re officially together. If you see that Tresswells guy again, make sure he’s clear about that.”
Kissing his chest, I couldn’t help smiling as I drifted off to sleep, wrapped in his arms.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Two weeks into the new year and we were both back to work. We’d barely spent a night apart, alternating between his apartment and mine.
Despite missing Mum just as much as always, I was determined to embrace life and the love I felt for Ryan, rather than living in the past and dreading the future.
“Holly.” Slater’s voice broke through my reverie.
“I’m sorry. I was deep in thought. Lots of ideas for the Melbourne Project,” I lied.
“It’s okay, Holly.” Mr Slater was so happy with my work, he was treating me with a new level of respect. “Can you pop over to the Aqua Vue site? Ryan’s assistant just called. He has a few questions about the layout of one of the apartments and would like a face-to-face on site.”
Building work had started at the end of last year when the approvals came through. After a few weeks’ break over Christmas and New Year, work had finally restarted and I was eager to see the progress. I tried to hide my smile, knowing Ryan was probably just finding an excuse to spend more time together.
“Of course. I’ll go now.”
I loved site visits. Watching a design come to life was truly exciting. Watching my own design come to life was beyond all my expectations. I visited the site every chance I got.
I donned my hard hat before entering the building and looking around. Glaziers were due any day to fit the expansive double-glazed windows. They would insulate the apartments year round, reducing the carbon footprint of each one. Currently, however, they were open to the elements.