Nothing to Lose [Blackhawk Brothers] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

by Lavada Dee

  By the time the news ended, Coop had fallen asleep. She switched over to one of her favorite programs. It wasn’t long before she could hear Coop’s breath deepen. Galynn listened as the sound of not quite a snore, but more of a sexy sigh escaped from his half-parted lips. Could it get any better than this? It was going to be hard to leave, but as sad as it made her feel, she knew she would have to start seriously thinking about it soon. She’d gotten his financial files on the computer and into an accounting program, but there was still so much she could do.

  Monday, she promised herself. She’d wait until they were in the office, as it seemed things were less personal in a business environment. She’d make him listen this time. He visibly showed relief when he’d come back to the office or house after being gone. It seemed like he always half expected to find a thank you and good-bye note. She didn’t want to do that. Next week she’d borrow his car and get a suitcase and bus tickets. This was the last leg of her journey. When she got to Seattle, she’d use the last set of her forged identity papers to again be someone new.

  The program on the television was about death and someone who could speak with spirits. It wasn’t exactly uplifting, in fact it was downright depressing in her state of mind. But, then, it was so far into fantasy it didn’t begin to touch real life, so maybe not such a bad program after all.

  A commercial came on, and she gathered her cup with Coop’s and took them out to the kitchen. By the time she got back, he had woken up. He gave her a wink and that half grin she loved so much. “Sorry. Did I miss anything good?”

  “Nope, and this program that you love so much is almost over.” She was being facetious. Coop didn’t have the same taste in TV programs and teased her about the murder and mayhem shows like the CSI and detective ones she watched. The new one where the main guy was a genius and worked with the FBI was one of her favorites.

  He glanced at his watch. “Hmmm, about ten minutes, it looks like. Why don’t you finish it up, and I’ll go put out the stuff for your back.”

  They’d fallen into a routine in the last week. Galynn wasn’t wearing a bra because the wound would have been directly under it. With only a shirt, it made it easy to pull it over her head and hold it in front of her while Cooper dressed the wound. They’d found it was easier to do in his bathroom where they had better light. In the beginning, he looked for pieces of glass working its way out of the wound, but as it healed, he didn’t do that anymore. They could have done it in the kitchen now, but neither one of them had brought up the option.

  While Galynn got ready, Cooper, like he always did, turned to give her more privacy. He’d already laid out the antibiotic cream and the bandages. His hands were cool on her back as he gently worked the bandage off. He was always so careful, sometimes to the point that his touch actually felt like more of a tickle. Tonight she felt a tremor in his hands that hadn’t been there since the first night he’d dressed the wound.

  She tried to keep the worry out of her voice. “How’s it looking?”

  She hadn’t asked him this since the first night, and she felt him hesitate. His reaction worried her. Could he help her hold a hand mirror so she could see for herself? She didn’t want to go back to the clinic. She sucked in her breath, bracing herself for hearing the worst.

  She glanced up at the big mirror over the sink. He had his hands braced against the counter, and it looked like his eyes were closed. She could see him take a big breath and slowly let it out.

  “You’re scaring me. Does it look that bad?”

  He caught her gaze in the mirror and held it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s looking good. In fact, really good. The redness is gone, and it looks like all the infection is out of it. A few more days and we’ll probably be able to leave the bandage off and you can take a shower. You might be able to now, but I think we need to play it safe.”

  Galynn nodded. “Are you okay?”

  He mumbled. “Yeah.” He sounded embarrassed.

  “You don’t sound okay.”

  “It’s hard seeing what this guy did. It’s a wonder he didn’t kill you. How long were you married?”

  Galynn wasn’t sure what to say. The truth? Could she lie to him? No. She knew this was a turning point. The minute the words left her mouth, things would change. “I’m not married.”

  Silence filled the bathroom, making it shrink. She felt him secure the bandage. His hands were surprisingly steady now. All that kept her from being naked from the waist up was the sweatshirt she held in front of her. If she turned, it wouldn’t be much of a barrier.

  His voice was thick with emotion. He again faced the counter, giving her some privacy to put her shirt on. “What made you stay with him? You couldn’t have loved him.”

  Funny he would question that she’d loved Mick. She’d never loved anyone except her mother. Until now, how could she have let herself fall in love this man? The timing couldn’t be worse.

  Cooper finished putting the stuff away and turned to face her. Again, their gazes locked. She felt herself swaying toward him. He opened his arms, and she walked into his embrace. His voice was muffled against her hair. “Talk to me.”

  “It’s a long story, and, looking at it from how you’ll hear it, not a pretty one.”

  He leaned back against the bathroom counter and spread his legs, pulling her in closer. “We’ve got all the time in the world.”

  All the time in world, leaning against a counter in the bathroom. She wanted to suggest they find someplace more comfortable, but she didn’t want to move. Cooper’s arms held warmth, safety, and something else she couldn’t quite define. Not moving from his embrace, she pulled her head back so she could look up at him. Her voice surprised her when it came out low but strong.

  “I met Mick one night when I had to call 911 for my mother. He was one of the officers who responded.” She told him about her mother’s disease and how both of them had worked so she could go to college. “I wanted to quit school and get a full-time job, but it upset Mom so much, I didn’t. She was adamant that I have an education and not end up with a minimum-wage job like she had.”

  Galynn stopped. Could she tell him about Mick?

  His hands circled her waist as he bent and brushed his lips across her forehead. “And Mick?”

  “Do you really want to hear this? It’s so…ugly. And embarrassing.”

  “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I want to be a part of this with you. I want to…” He hesitated before prompting her to continue. “You said you aren’t married?”

  “No, Mick wanted to marry me and help with mother, but he was already married.”

  “Where was his wife?”

  “She left him and took their little girl. The story he told me made me feel really sorry for him.” She pulled away from Cooper. “It’s hard to understand how good he is at conning people. He even has his folks fooled, but they love him. I still don’t know how I could have been so stupid.”

  Cooper hadn’t moved. When she pulled away from him, he dropped his arms and let her go. She needed to put a little distance between them and headed toward the door. “Let’s get some more coffee.”

  He nodded and followed her into the kitchen where he took down a couple of cups. “Have a seat.” He motioned for her to sit at the table with him.

  She took a sip of coffee from the cup he handed her. This was so hard. Cooper wasn’t forcing her to do anything. She could say good night and go to bed.

  Again, his voice prompted her to continue. She couldn’t look at him. Her voice surprised her. She thought it would be hard to get the words out, but when she started, they seemed to flow with a will of their own. “The house only had two bedrooms, but with our shifts, we shared my room. On weekends, I used the sofa. Even as weak as she had gotten, Mom would have never agreed to us sleeping together. Mick was getting tired, he wasn’t getting nearly enough sleep, but he still treated mother well. After about three weeks, he
said he wanted to talk to me about our living arrangement. He’d never made any move that told me he wanted more than a friendship.” Galynn raked her hands through her hair. “I…ummm, really didn’t know. I thought he wanted me for a friend. I didn’t…”

  Cooper reached over and took both her hands in his. Her eyes focused on their clasped hands. She took a breath and started telling him the story again. “He explained how men had needs. That a big part of being so tired was that he wasn’t sleeping.” She could feel her face burning, but she stumbled on. “He said we should get someone to come in and take care of mother for a couple of days and go off together. When we got back, we’d tell everyone we were married. Then when he got the divorce, we’d just go out of the area and make it legal.”

  * * * *

  Cooper knew he should call a halt. Galynn had turned as white as a sheet. With an oath, he stood up, not thinking that his body language would scare her to death. Surprisingly, it didn’t, and she stood up and walked straight into his arms. He could smell her unique scent and felt his body tighten in response. Again, his gaze met hers and held until he pulled it away. He lowered his mouth to feast on her lips, which were full and soft. When she swallowed and moistened them with the tip of her tongue, a groan escaped him and he lowered his mouth to hers.

  She stiffened but didn’t pull back. He put a little more pressure on her lips and felt them soften and part. He’d heard about fireworks, but this felt more like drowning in warm honey. He savored her taste as he moved his tongue along the line of her lips.

  She moved closer, pushing her softness into his arousal, melting against him. The lights dimmed and everything turned surreal. One minute he was slowly savoring her lips, and the next he had deepened the kiss until their tongues were mating and he could hear her breathing speed up to match his. He was shaking when he finally managed to pull himself away.

  She made a mewing sound and reached back up to him. He tried to get words out, but only a low groan escaped him. Putting his hands over hers where they were wound around his neck, he pulled them around in front and held them against his chest. Taking a deep breath, he lowered his mouth to kiss the palm of her hand.

  Her voice hissed out. “That feels so good. So…”

  “Help me here, honey. I don’t want to hurt or scare you, and I’m having a devil of a time getting myself under control.”

  Galynn shook her head. “It’s okay.” She traced the line of his lips with her finger. “It’s more than okay. I’ve never felt like this. I’ve never felt so, so…I don’t know how to explain it.”

  Coop closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. “Have you been with a man other than Mick?”

  She wound her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest. “No. With mom being so sick, after schoolwork, and well, just everything, I didn’t date at all.”

  “No prom?”

  “No, no prom, no movies.” She pulled back and looked up at him. “Hey, don’t go feeling sorry for me. It wasn’t so bad. Mom and I never fought. I didn’t have curfew or anything like the other girls talked about.”

  “You are amazing, do you know that? Seeing what you’ve been through…” He pulled her tighter and rested his chin against the top of her head. Breathing in, he closed his eyes, trying to gain control of the overpowering attraction washing over him.

  “I don’t think you understand. Mick was never a…uh…like, boyfriend. He didn’t like to be touched. He never kissed me on the lips. In the beginning, he’d kiss my cheek. When he explained to me about the needs men had, it was just…” Her voice was so low he had to bend closer to hear it.

  “Like a physical release for him. He said that all that romance stuff in movies and books wasn’t real and that if a guy did do that sort of thing, it was only to get what he really wanted.”

  “But you didn’t believe him?”

  “I didn’t really believe or not believe. The…it was always painful, so I tried to just, uh, like go someplace else.”

  Cooper swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “How did you get past something like this?” Did she think that this foreplay was all that would happen with them? His voice turned husky with emotion when he finally managed to get it to work. “How do you feel about what’s happening for us?” He didn’t stop to think that she didn’t feel the same physical attraction. He knew she did.

  She drew back and smiled up at him. “Ah, Coop. I don’t think at all when you kiss me. I only feel, and it just isn’t in the same universe as any experience I’ve had before.”

  He let out his breath in a huge sigh of relief. “Honey, like I said before, you’re incredible, absolutely incredible. And you make me feel ten feet tall.”

  A door slammed, and Coop dropped his arms so Galynn could step away. “Sounds like we have company.” No sooner had the words left his mouth than Grant pushed through the door.

  “Hey, bro, don’t you ever knock?”

  “Nope, and I come bearing gifts, so you’d better be nice to me.” He handed Cooper a pie. “Peach. Mom thought you might be in need of something sweet.” He looked over at Galynn and winked. “But then, little does she know.”

  “Knock it off. You embarrass her and I’m going to have to hurt you.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

  Galynn shook her head, laughing. “You two make me wish more than ever I’d had a sister or brother.” Turning, she started out of the room. “I’m going to turn in for the night. See you in the morning.”

  Cooper’s eyes followed her with a look of longing.

  Grant cleared his throat. “So how’s it going? I should have offered to look at her back, sorry.”

  Coop pulled open the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers. Normally he’d have headed for the TV with Grant, but if Galynn came back downstairs she’d hear anything they said. The kitchen would be safer because he had no doubt where the conversation would be heading. Grant had that look that said he had questions.

  He popped the top on his beer and took that first, long pull. “No need to look at her back. It’s almost healed. I almost left the bandage off tonight so she could take a shower.”

  Grant joined his brother at the kitchen table. If he thought it strange they were sitting in the kitchen instead of in front of the TV like they usually did, he didn’t mention it. “That’s good. So why don’t you sound happy?”

  Coop picked at the label on his beer. When he finally looked up, he had a frown on his face. “I’m glad her back and other injuries are healing so fast.”

  “So?”

  “She’s planning to move on.”

  “And you don’t want her to, right? Well, talk to her. You have a job for her. One you really need filled, or isn’t she working out in the office?”

  “Oh yeah, she’s working out. The guys love her, one, Gus, a little too much. And she’s done wonders with the work. A few more weeks and she could have everything on the computer.”

  “So talk to her, man.”

  “I’ve tried, but she evades the conversation. Changes the subject or just says she has to leave.”

  “Has she said anything about what happened to her? I’m guessing domestic, and more guessing here. A husband.”

  Coop wasn’t comfortable discussing what Galynn had told him with Grant. “Not a husband but an abusive, extremely abusive relationship.” He held up his hands. “Hey, she just opened up tonight. In fact, just before you got here. I don’t want to break her confidence.” His voice dropped, and he felt his face flush. Thankfully his dark skin kept it from being noticeable. “I’m falling in love with her. And I think she feels the same, but there’s too much baggage. I’m not sure we can get around it.”

  Grant toyed with his beer. “Life can be a bitch sometimes.” The room fell silent as the two brothers sat at the table and let the emotions play down.

  Coop broke the silence. Picking up his beer, he motioned to the living room. “Come on. Let’s catch the end of the game.”

  Chapt
er 6

  It was almost midnight before Grant got up to leave. At the door, he hesitated. “So what are you going to do about what’s going on with you and Galynn? Your mind hasn’t been on the game tonight.”

  Cooper shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m sort of hanging on by my thumbs here. It’s all virgin territory because I’ve never felt anything like what I’m feeling for her. Lust, sure, but this is more than physical.”

  Grant slapped him across the back and reached for the doorknob. “Do you think she feels anything as intense?”

  “Yeah, I do. At least I’m almost positive she feels the same, and we…Well, ‘intense’ is a pretty lame word to describe the emotions running rampant. I…”

  Grant spoke a little fast to stop his brother from saying anything more. “Okay, I get the picture. I was going to say talk to her, but maybe it’d be better to let nature, and, uh, emotions take their natural course.”

  The thought of another restless night gave Cooper the incentive to want to talk. “I don’t want to do anything to hurt her. She’s been through hell.”

  Again, Grant reached out to Cooper. “Let her lead.” He shook his head and a soft chuckle escaped as he opened the door. When he reached the steps, he turned back. “Damn, I don’t know whether to envy you or feel sorry for you.”

  Cooper watched as his brother backed his pickup around to head out the drive. When Grant’s taillights topped the slight incline, he sighed and closed the door. He could hear the muffled sound of the TV they’d left on. He wasn’t a bit sleepy. Heading to the den, he decided to get onto Facebook and play around a little with an online game. It had been almost two months since he’d done more than check out his messages and comments. The diversion would be good.

  * * * *

  A dull ache in his back brought him back to the real world. What time was it, anyway? Stretching, he arched his back. Rubbing his arms, he realized he wasn’t only stiff. He was cold. The thermostat’s setting went on the night temperature at midnight. It shouldn’t be this cold.