Love Inspired January 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: Bayou SweetheartThe Firefighter's New FamilySeason of Redemption

by Lenora Worth

  The comment left Devon no question. Having custody of Kaylee and resolving the relationship with Ashley was almost more than one day could hold, but he couldn’t wait.

  When he rolled into Renee’s driveway, Kaylee’s nose was pressed to the window. She bounded backward as if connected to a rubber sling and shot out the front door. He hurried from the car to greet her, and while she toted a box to his trunk, he grasped the two pieces of luggage Renee had set on the porch.

  Kaylee leaned the box against the back bumper and tapped her fingers on the lid. “I have books in the box, Daddy, and puzzles.” Her eyes glinted. “We can play games, and you can help me read. It’ll be so fun.”

  “Sure will, sweetheart.” He grinned, but something inside him buckled. Could he be the father she wanted...and needed? So many duties he’d never had to handle would now be his—dental and doctor’s appointments, illnesses, shopping for her clothes and being a good role model. The list overwhelmed him.

  When he glanced up, Renee stood at the door watching. They’d covered everything on the phone, so she had no need to go over it now. He closed the trunk and slipped into the car, waiting while Kaylee latched her seat belt, and her face beamed as she waved goodbye. Renee didn’t appear as happy as Kaylee. He put himself in her shoes and understood. Kaylee had been a big part of her life. Could he measure up to Renee?

  “Do Ashley and Joey know that I live with you now?”

  Her question broke his thoughts. “Not yet. They got home last night, but we’ll tell them today.”

  “I can’t wait.” She swung her feet, kicking the back of the passenger seat.

  He couldn’t wait, either. His shoulders relaxed, listening to Kaylee chatter in the backseat.

  “Daddy?”

  “What, sweetie?”

  “Joey’s birthday’s soon. He’ll be four and I’m four.” Her voice lilted with happiness.

  “That’s right.” Apparently the old age issue had faded.

  “But I’m almost five so I’m still bigger.”

  He chuckled. “You are...a little. What do you think Joey would like for his birthday? Clothes. Books. Toys.”

  “Puzzles. He loves puzzles. Me, too, but I don’t think I need presents when I have my birthday in January.”

  “No presents?” Her comment surprised him. “Why? I thought you loved presents.”

  “I do, but I got my present already. I’m living with you.”

  He wanted to hold her in his arms and give her a big hug. “Hearing you say that is the best present I’ve had in a long time.” Today being a father heightened his awareness of the joy but also the responsibility. It felt different somehow, knowing something as simple as her bedroom was really her room and not a guest room. A smile stretched his taut cheeks and her singing made him chuckle.

  When they rolled down Drayton, he braked to pull into the driveway, but Kaylee blasted a command that made him jump. “Go to Ashley’s house. I want to tell her I’m living with you.”

  He halted the car in the street. “First, say please. Second, don’t yell and scare me.”

  “Sorry.” Her tone held an apology.

  “I know you’re excited, but don’t you want to unpack first?”

  “Later. Remember what you always tell me. When you want to do something and I ask what about unpacking, you always say my things will still be there when we get home.”

  He looked over the seat, and her expression made him chuckle. “I guess I do tell you that, don’t I?”

  She grinned and gave him a nod.

  Though he’d love to see Ashley, what he needed was a nap, but he decided to listen to Kaylee’s plea. He straightened the wheel and continued down three houses to Ashley’s, hoping she was up and ready for company.

  When he pulled into her driveway, no little nose pressed against the windowpane. He climbed out and waited for Kaylee to unhook her seat belt and slip outside before he hit the lock button. She bounded up the porch stairs and hit the doorbell before he reached the steps.

  In a moment, the door opened, and Ashley’s frown turned to a grin. “Kaylee. Good morning.”

  She stood back with only a glance at him as she eyed Kaylee. “Why are you so happy?”

  Kaylee darted into the room and spun around. “I live with my daddy now!”

  “You do?” Joy filled her face. “Wonderful.” She leaned down and gave Kaylee a hug. “I know your daddy’s happy, too, and so am I.”

  Before Ashley misunderstood, Devon dropped the bombshell. “It’s temporary.”

  Ashley drew back, her eyes narrowed, brow furrowed. “But I thought—”

  “It’s a long story. Probably not as long as it is complex.” He hoped she’d invite him to have a seat.

  She didn’t move. “I’m surprised that you settled for—”

  “It’s not settling.” Her judgment sliced through him. “I said it’s complex.”

  Finally, she motioned to a chair. “Where are my manners? Please, sit and tell me what happened.”

  His attention shifted to Kaylee who’d already plopped onto the sofa, all ears.

  He scanned the room. “Where’s Joey?”

  “Upstairs. He was playing, but I think he fell asleep. He needs to get up or he’ll be awake all night.” She turned to Kaylee. “Would you run up and check on him?”

  Kaylee slipped from the sofa and headed up the stairs, appearing proud she had an important assignment.

  Relieved, he wanted to make good use of the time alone with Ashley. He sank onto the sofa, which Kaylee had vacated. “Renee wouldn’t make the decision. She said it was up to Gina.” He shrugged. “In part she’s right, but who knows what Gina will say. She’s very defensive, but I learned one thing. She’s spent more time in the hospital than out of it lately.”

  “Did Renee tell you that?”

  “No, I said it to her and she didn’t deny it.” He grinned at the way he’d gathered information she might never have told him.

  “Good for you, Devon. Smart.”

  “But the worst thing I learned...” He checked the staircase. Empty. “Gina tried to commit suicide. I’m thinking this isn’t the first time.”

  Ashley’s gasp preceded the horror on her face. “That’s awful. Terrible.”

  He could only nod.

  “Wasn’t she a Christian, Devon? I assumed she—”

  “Gina’s the one who led me to faith. I wasn’t a churchgoer before I met her. I don’t understand her illness, but I think her values and beliefs have been damaged by her mental state. I pray the Lord doesn’t hold that against someone who is truly ill.”

  Ashley leaned forward, her head swaying from side to side. “I’m not blaming Gina or condemning her, Devon. Not one bit. Remember we’re not to judge lest we be judged. I try to follow that.”

  Weight lifted from his shoulders. “I hope you’re right, Ash.” Hearing her nickname from his lips startled him. She didn’t seem to notice, but using it brought her closer, more familiar than her formal name.

  Ashley rose from her chair and resettled beside him. She slipped her hand into his. “Devon, I believe that we have a loving God. He sees us as pure and blessed. How could a loving God condemn a faithful Christian whose mind has warped and led her astray. God is the judge and He is forgiving and loving. What more do we need?”

  He weaved his fingers through hers, wanting to draw her into his arms. “Thanks. I should know that, but I needed the reminder.” Touched by her tenderness, he leaned over and kissed her.

  She turned her face toward him, her eyes giving him permission, and her lips met his again. His heart soared. Hope escalated. Though he needed sleep—needed it badly—he sensed today was the day to pursue their conversation cut short by Neely’s call a few days earlier.

  A noise from the upp
er floor caught Devon’s attention. He patted Ashley’s hand and headed for the staircase. “What are you doing, Kaylee?”

  “Joey’s up, and we’re playing.” She appeared on the landing. “He dropped a truck.”

  Devon glanced at Ashley. “Is it okay for them to play up there?”

  “Sure. It’s fine.” She nodded, a smile growing on her face.

  His stomach tightened at the grin as well as the knowledge they had more time alone. “Kaylee, be good up there. Don’t get into anything.”

  “I won’t.” She gave him a minifrown as if insulted at his suggestion she might get into something. He had to admit, other than looking into the photo albums without permission, Kaylee minded well.

  He turned away and settled beside Ashley, his hopes growing. “How was your visit with Paula? Difficult, I suppose.”

  “In some ways, yes.” She leaned her back against the cushion, but her hand rested on his knee. “We weren’t close to Aunt Florence after Mother died. She wasn’t the most pleasant hostess. Neely and I felt sorry for Paula. She was an only child, so she had little camaraderie.”

  “Sad.” Though he was an only child, his parents had been loving people.

  “Neely and I understood when she left home so young. Paula moved out right after high school. Went to college and never came back except for holidays.”

  A strange look grew on her face, and he suspected something else had happened while they were gone. “Something’s wrong.”

  A frown curved her mouth. “Not really. I—” She shook her head. “I’m just thinking.”

  “About your mother?”

  Her head hitched back, questioning filling her eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “I was here when you got the call. I know you wondered if Paula could tell you more about your mother’s earlier years.” He tilted his head, weighing her expression. “Am I wrong?”

  She lowered her eyes. “No.” She sat a moment before looking up. “But it’s personal, and I’m not sure I should talk about it.”

  Though curious, he knew his place. “Not if you think it’s wrong. If you feel like talking, I’m a willing listener.”

  She lifted her gaze, moisture filling her eyes. The story spilled from her, at least what she knew, and though it left more doors open, the truth seemed obvious. The two women had been sexually abused as girls.

  “I can understand why you feel sad, Ashley.”

  “I’m sad my mother had to endure the horrors of her uncle, but I’m even sadder that she let someone else’s sin ruin her life. She carried the guilt and degradation as if it had been her doing.”

  “Sometimes people blame themselves. In abuse cases, women sometimes think they asked for it by their dress or behavior. It’s tragic, because the cause had nothing to do with your mother or your aunt. The cause was a predator who took advantage, made them lose self-worth and the power to do something about it.”

  “You’re right, Devon.” She leaned forward and rested her head on his chest. “My mother’s feelings of unworthiness caused her to belittle us so she could convince herself she had value. Not only were my mother’s and aunt’s lives ruined, but their children’s lives, as well. We missed the joy of having a mother who expressed her love and provided a warm, comfortable home for her girls. Everyone was cheated.”

  Ashley’s story pained him. His own self-doubts had nearly ruined his life, too, but somehow knowing her had opened the doors and turned his life around. Losing Ashley would undo him.

  A sigh rattled from his chest, and he fought to keep his eyes from closing.

  “You’re exhausted.”

  “I only got a little sleep last night. I would have slept better, but Kaylee was on my mind.”

  “And the situation with Gina.”

  She knew him well. “Yes. That, too.”

  She slid her arm around his back. “Go home and take a nap. I’ll entertain Kaylee. She can have lunch here, and we can get together later.”

  Her eyes searched his, but he couldn’t decide what to do. So much depended on their talk, but Ashley was right. He needed sleep.

  She curved her palm against his cheek and turned his face to hers. Her lips moved toward his and captured his mouth, a kiss he had only dreamed about.

  Devon shifted, drawing her closer, her mouth warm, his heart slamming against his breastbone.

  Ashley drew back, a sweet expression on her face. She managed to rise and held her hands toward him.

  He grasped them and rose, his focus on her. He loved her. No denying it. But he could never tell her until he was certain she felt the same.

  She squeezed his hands. “A nap first. Then we talk.”

  Balancing hope with despair, he nodded. “We must.”

  Ashley tiptoed up and brushed her lips across his again. “Yes.”

  With his expectations mounting, he managed to call up to Kaylee that he’d see her later and made it outside before Ashley’s yes turned on him. If the two sentences congealed—yes...we must could mean anything. We must open our hearts to each other, or we must end this relationship and say goodbye.

  His spirit sagging, he drove home and prayed he could sleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Ashley leaned against the recliner wishing she’d talked things out with Devon earlier. The delay preyed on her mind, and the day crumbled into dust. She couldn’t concentrate on anything. She’d kept her eyes on the kids, fed them lunch and looked through magazines, but her thoughts stayed on Devon. She couldn’t say goodbye, and she couldn’t make a commitment.

  She’d thought about calling him. The waiting dragged on until she thought she’d scream, but she restrained the desire and prayed instead that the Lord be with them during their conversation.

  Only two other things hung on the fringe of her mind. One was Joey’s upcoming birthday, but the one more urgent event was her sister’s wedding. Though both occasions needed attention, the wedding was in less than two weeks. She gazed at her cast. Her next appointment with the surgeon left her hoping the clunky thing would be removed.

  “Mama.”

  Ashley straightened her back, then rose and went to the staircase. “What, Joey?”

  “Can we play outside?”

  She heard Kaylee’s voice saying something about the park and waited for Joey to finish.

  “Can we play in the park?”

  “You can play outside, but not in the park. Maybe when Devon comes.”

  Silence.

  She returned to her chair. At the park, she’d enjoy the fresh air, and the kids would be busy on the swings and slides. She and Devon would have a little alone time. The thought ended with the clomp of footsteps on the stairs. Kaylee appeared at the bottom followed by Joey.

  “We’ll go outside until Daddy comes.”

  Ashley gave her approval and listened until the side door closed. She leaned back into the recliner, the wait yawning in front of her.

  Looking through the wide front window, she saw Kaylee at the foot of the driveway pulling Joey in his wagon. Kaylee turned and headed along the sidewalk. When she was out of sight, Ashley lowered the footrest and stood, but her fear vanished when Kaylee returned heading in the other direction. She sank into the chair, wondering if she would ever stop worrying about Joey.

  A car door’s slam brought her to attention again, and Devon strode down the driveway to greet the kids. He gave them both a hug, his attention mostly on Kaylee, who no doubt told him they were going to the park.

  Whatever he said appeased her for the moment. Ashley listened for the doorknob to turn, and when it did, he strutted in, giving her a wink. “I see Kaylee’s planned our afternoon.”

  “Joey was part of the plan, I think.” She rose again, heading toward him. “I hope you don’t mind I agreed.”

/>   “Not at all.” He opened his arms to her.

  Although he grinned, he seemed anxious. She stepped into his embrace. He held her tight for a moment, but not long enough to assure her all was well. “Did you eat?”

  He nodded. “Threw a slice of meat loaf on wheat bread. Leftovers come in handy.” Motioning toward the door, he took a step backward. “Ready to go?”

  A shrug escaped her. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” She’d uttered more truth than she meant to.

  He opened the door, and she followed, now making her way with more ease on the walking cast.

  The kids clamored into the car, and Devon headed down Drayton toward Woodward. Though the kids chattered in the backseat, she and Devon remained silent. She tried to organize the muddle of thoughts crashing in her head. Positive feelings careened against the negative possibilities. Relief came when Devon pulled into the parking lot. She climbed out and helped Joey unhook his seat belt. Kaylee hopped to the ground on the other side and followed Devon around the car to meet them.

  The playground was close, just past the roller-hockey field, and loosened from their restraints, they darted toward the playground. Devon hurried ahead of her as she trudged along with her cast. Kaylee climbed the ladder to the slide and shot down while Devon caught up with Joey and made sure he could handle the ladder. Her heart constricted, observing the love he had for her son.

  How could she doubt Devon’s affection? But the situation had nothing to do with doubting Devon. It had to do with doubting herself.

  Devon watched a moment and then strode to her side. He slipped his hand into hers and led her a few yards away to a picnic bench in the pavilion, empty since it was a weekday. They sat, eyes on the children but her mind on their talk. Devon sighed and she realized she wasn’t the only one worried about their relationship. “What are you thinking?”

  “What I always have on my mind.” He shifted his eyes toward hers for a moment before redirecting them to the children as they moved to the swings. “I’m thinking about you.”

  The admission wasn’t what she’d expected. “I thought you had Gina on your mind and the physical custody issue you have to deal with when she’s out of the hospital.”