Hell Hath No Fury

by M. J. Schiller

  She laughed. “Stop. Nothing’s wrong. You’re paranoid.”

  “Hmm.” I frowned. Something fishy was definitely going on. She brought two mugs over and I kicked my bag out of the way to make room for her. “I’ll get that later.”

  She nodded in acknowledgement. She picked the paper up from the table and began to peruse it. “Jambalaya for dinner tonight. Is that okay?” she asked casually.

  Mmm. Jambalaya is comfort food.

  “That sounds great, actually. I’m tired of road food.”

  She patted my hand on the table. “Poor baby.” She continued to hide behind the paper. I wanted to figure out what the deal was, but honestly, the thought of jambalaya for dinner was very distracting.

  “With the boys gone and just you, me, and Elise, we should actually get a decent portion tonight.” The boys were pigs at times. Especially when I cooked.

  “Oh, it’ll only be you and me.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, Elise has a date.”

  My stomach dropped like a sinker on a fishing line. For a second I was paralyzed. Elise dating? I lifted an arm, which was like a club, and dropped it on top of her paper, smashing it.

  “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

  “Elise has a date.” She folded the paper up, stood, and headed for the counter. “Should we get that jambalaya started?”

  I twisted in my chair to stare at her. “Elise has a date?”

  “Mm-hmm.” She got the smoked sausage out of the refrigerator. If she thought she could tempt me out of this with the thought of savory Cajun food…well, nine out of ten times she’d be right. But NOT this time.

  “Elise has a date.” It was unfathomable.

  She looked over, her hand resting on the refrigerator door. “You sound like a parrot.”

  “And you’re…you’re…okay with this?” I blustered.

  “Honey.” She walked toward me. “She’s seventeen years old.”

  “You don’t have to tell me how old she is.” I crossed my arms. “I know how old she is,” I mumbled.

  She played with my hair, which she knew I loved. “You didn’t seem to have a problem when Jake and Ryan started dating?”

  “Well, yeah. But that’s…that’s because they’re….” I stopped myself.

  “Because they’re boys.”

  “Well…yeah. And, Sam…they knew the rules of the game. Elise…” I waved a hand. “Elise is a baby.”

  “Now. You hate it when Bill treats her like a baby, and you’re calling her one?”

  “That’s different. I mean…she’s inexperienced and—”

  “And how does she gain that experience?”

  Damn. She’s shooting down all of my arguments.

  “And you’re…okay with this?”

  She sat at the table. “Am I okay with my seventeen-year-old daughter going out on a date? Yes. I’m okay with that.”

  I jumped out of my seat and stood behind it. “But Elise is innocent.” I motioned in the general direction of the stairs leading up to her bedroom. “And sweet. I don’t want her to lose that.”

  “Honey,” she said, trying to soothe me. “Come on. Surely you went out on dates when you were seventeen.”

  I slammed my hand on the top of the chair, which hurt like hell, but I wouldn’t admit it. “Exactly.” I looked at the ceiling and lowered my voice, afraid Elise would hear me. “Exactly, Sam. I was a seventeen-year-old boy trying to get any girl to do…anything with me. Anywhere.”

  She smiled. “So you were a horny bastard then, too, huh?”

  “Sam,” I growled. “This is serious.”

  “I know it is.” She rose and put her arms around my waist, which both pissed me off and turned me on. “You seriously need to calm down.”

  Elise. On a date.

  I sighed and laid my head on her shoulder. “I don’t want her to grow up.”

  “I know,” she said quietly. Then she drew back a fraction. “But, honey, she’s going away to college next year.”

  She had to remind me?

  “The U of N’s a good school,” I muttered.

  “We talked about this. We both want her to go away so she can gain independence and grow. You said you were worried she wasn’t experienced enough. That she needed to try some new things.”

  “I know. But I didn’t mean this kind of experience,” I yelled. I looked into her eyes, hoping to see her give ground. But she wouldn’t…and, damn it, probably shouldn’t. Elise did have to grow up.

  Why is life so unfair?

  The loud tromping of Elise coming down the stairs interrupted us. Sam took a hold of the sides of my dress shirt. “You need to get yourself together.”

  “I know,” I whined. I threw myself into a chair, disgruntled.

  Sam came over and massaged my back. “Come on. It’s gonna be all right.”

  Then Elise rounded the corner and my jaw dropped. She was beautiful. A different beautiful than her mom, but beautiful. Elise beautiful. I sat with my mouth hanging open, unable to speak.

  Her brow furrowed when she caught sight of me. “What’s wrong with him?”

  “Oh, he’s in a mood. Ignore him.” Sam crossed to her. “That top’s nice on you.”

  “Do you think so?”

  “And you’re wearing the earrings I gave you.”

  “Yeah. Are they all right with this?”

  “They’re perfect.”

  I found my voice. “You look…nice, Elise.”

  She stared at me for a moment, then peered at her mom. Sam shrugged. The doorbell rang.

  “Ooh. It’s him. Hunter. Wait until you meet him, Mom. He’s so hot.”

  “Of course he is,” I mumbled. Sam slapped my arm on the way out of the kitchen. “Ouch.”

  I heard his voice. A male voice. In my house. With my Elise. Part of me knew I was acting ridiculously. I mean, this was a common thing in life. Kids grew up. But I wasn’t ready. I hadn’t had their whole lives to be with them. Sam’s kids were over half-grown when we met. Voices drifted from the hall.

  “Hey. You look nice.”

  I mouthed, “You look nice.”

  Very original. He clearly wants to get into her pants. I slapped myself on the forehead. Oh, my God. What am I thinking?

  “It’s very nice meeting you, Mrs. Scofield.”

  “See you later,” Elise added.

  She was leaving. They were leaving. I bolted from my chair and it fell with a loud clang onto the floor. I left it. “Wait! Wait one freaking minute, would ya?”

  When I came around the corner, they all were staring at me like I was a lunatic. Which I was. I cleared my throat. “I want to ask this young man some questions. You can’t go waltzing off with some guy we haven’t met, Elise. Right, Sam?” I glared at her. She better be on my side.

  She hesitated, her jaw tense, then turned to The Guy. “That would probably be a good idea. Do you have a minute, Hunter?”

  The kid shifted his gaze to me, leery.

  Good. Let him be afraid.

  He shrugged. “Sure.”

  I gave a triumphant sort of snort and spun to head into the kitchen, forcing them to follow me. I had chosen my battlegrounds. The living room was too welcoming. The kitchen had straight backed chairs. I pulled one out from the table for Hunter.

  He doesn’t even have a real name. Hunter. I did an internal eye roll.

  And then I thought about it meaning “hunt her” and about lost my mind. I lifted my chair from the floor. Sam came to stand behind me and Elise hovered behind…him. Like seconds in a duel. I took a deep breath. I knew Sam would only give me so much leeway. I had to keep my cool.

  I leaned into the chair and drummed my fingers on the table, feinting an even demeanor. I even produced a tight smile. “So, Hunter….” I didn’t know where to start. I knew nothing about this kid. And I needed to come up with a question which would out him as the skulking pervert he was. So much was riding on this….

  “Yes, sir?” he prompted.
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br />   I didn’t realize I’d let an awkward silence descend. I scrambled.

  How did he get his claws on her? No, wait. Where. Where did he get his claws on her? That would be my question, in a roundabout way.

  “How did you and Elise meet?” I made the mistake of looking at her. She was furious. And precious to me.

  “Uhh…we met at the pool. I’m a lifeguard and Elise kinda ran into me.” He chuckled, then caught my expression and stopped abruptly.

  “Uh-huh.” I sat a little straighter. “So, you guys didn’t go to school together?”

  “No. I moved here a couple weeks ago from Omaha.”

  Great. A complete stranger.

  I fought a sneer. “Mmm.” I drummed again. I needed to quit pussy-footing around. The words came out in a rush, from who knows where. “What’s your GPA?”

  He didn’t waver. “Three point eight.”

  “Damn,” Elise and Sam said at the same time. I ignored them.

  I brushed some crumbs from the table. “I guess that’ll do.” Another question. I needed another question. “Do you have a job?”

  The kid glanced at Elise, who shrugged. “Uhh…yeah. As a lifeguard.”

  Damn. He already told me that. I look like a fool. Okay. Get a grip.

  I followed that question with what I though was a reasonable inquiry. “How much do you make?”

  Elise gasped and put her hand on Hunter’s shoulder. “You do NOT have to answer that.”

  But, admittedly, the kid had game. He didn’t break eye contact. “Ten dollars an hour.”

  Before I could think, it came out. “Hmm. Not bad.” I turned to Elise. “You don’t make that much at Zesto’s.”

  She cocked a hip. “Yeah. Thanks for pointing that out.” I smiled at her but noticed he was smiling at her, too, and changed my expression to a frown.

  “What is your favorite hockey team?”

  “Uhh….” He looked like he was beginning to sweat. Elise wandered behind me. His gaze drifted to hers.

  “Blues! Blues!”

  I spun my head and caught both Elise and Sam pointing at Elise’s shirt.

  “That’s cheating. That question is thrown out.”

  “Come on!” Elise spouted as she returned to her original position, behind the enemy.

  I leaned forward in my chair, drumming my fingers again. It beat fisting them, which was what I wanted to do. I wanted to see him squirm again. I asked distinctly, as if his answer could be a deal breaker, which it could. “What do you like about Elise?”

  “Oh, my God.” Elise’s bracelets clanged against the back of the chair. Jewelry? Elise didn’t wear jewelry. She was already changing for him and they hadn’t even gone out yet. “You do NOT have to answer that. Come on, let’s go.”

  But the kid was still all in, which I grudgingly respected. He scooted closer. “Well, that’s a little embarrassing to answer—”

  I slapped my hand on the table, making everyone jump. “I knew it. See Sam?”

  She had a hand over her heart. “See what?”

  “He’s after her for one thing.”

  He raised his voice. “That’s not true, and if you’d let me finish my answer you’d see that.”

  Elise and Sam both crossed their arms and stared at me. They were ganging up on me.

  Kid’s got some chutzpah.

  “Fine.” I didn’t give him a chance to respond. “Well, out with it.”

  He took a breath. The tension in the room was an unwelcome player in our little tête-à-tête. “I told Elise it was about her smile.” They exchanged a look. It should have made me mad but…they were cute. And Elise did have an awesome smile. “But that’s not it. It’s more about her spirit. She’s kind of sassy, and I guess I like that. And gutsy.” Their grins broadened. He returned his focus to me. “But still, she’s tenderhearted and kind.” He was describing the things in Sam which first drew me to her. “And I love that about her.”

  The way he said it there could be no doubt about his sincerity.

  Good answer, young man. Game, set, and match.

  I shifted my gaze to Sam. Obviously she was won over by the kid. I took a deep breath.

  I don’t want to say this.

  I was sending Elise to the wolves. But at least this wolf seemed to be a nice one. I took a deep breath and exhaled. I looked him in the eye. Man to man. “If you ever hurt her—”

  “I’d expect to pay the consequences.”

  “Or let anyone else hurt her….”

  “I’d make them pay the consequences.”

  He was all right. Best case scenario anyway. I glanced at Elise. One more moment before relinquishing her to the world.

  “Are you sure you’re not using her to get to her grilled cheese?”

  He turned to peer at her.

  “I make a mean grilled cheese.”

  I sat back. Actually relaxing a smidge. I laced my fingers behind my head. “Oh, no, dude.” He looked at me, a smile ghosting his face. “These things are like…they would make Gordon Ramsay weep.”

  “Really? How can they be that good? They only have three ingredients, bread, butter, and cheese.”

  I lifted my shoulders. “I don’t know, it’s like magic.”

  Elise spoke up, smiling. “Mayonnaise.”

  We both twisted to stare at her. “What?”

  “I use mayonnaise instead of butter.”

  “What? How come you never told me that? I don’t like mayonnaise.”

  “Which is why I never told you that. Now, since I’ve revealed my magical recipe, can we please go?”

  They all watched me expectantly, which gave me the sense I’d regained some control of the situation. I rubbed my chin. “Hmm….” I sat forward. “Curfew is at ten.”

  Elise balked. “Ten?”

  I did my best to appear stern. “Ten.”

  For a moment, she seemed to be weighing the odds of fighting me on it. She exhaled. “Fine. Let’s go.”

  He started to rise from his chair, and a slash of panic hit me again. “Wait. Wait a minute. We’re not through with the questions yet.”

  Elise put her hands on her hips. She seemed so like Samantha when she was ticked. “You mean the inquisition?

  I shrugged. “Call it what you want.”

  The kid sat resignedly. I had a sliver of sympathy for him. This would be the real question. The question which may prove or disprove his ability to fit in with the Scofields. “Some people call Steve Miller a space cowboy. What are two other things they call him.” I was, of course, referring to his song, “The Joker.”

  His eyes moved rapidly from side-to-side as if searching for the answer in the pattern of our tile flooring. “Uhh…Maurice.”

  Elise and Sam clapped. I lifted my gaze to glare them into silence. Then I returned my attention to The Boy. “And?”

  He glanced up and I was about to tell him not to get help from them, when his answer came out. “The gangster of love?”

  Nice. Maybe I was thinking of this wrong. Maybe this kid would become part of our ragtag group and I’d grow to love him.

  Nah.

  Again, they turned to me expectantly. “Not in the right order, but…correct.” They exchanged hopeful looks. “Okay, fine. Go have fun.” He got to his feet. “But you’re home at ten.”

  Apparently Elise still had some fight in her. “Ten? Come on. The city council even gave us to midnight.”

  “Then it’s too bad your mom didn’t marry a city councilman. Ten o’clock.”

  “Yes, sir. You have my word.” He stuck out his hand for me to shake it. Kid had guts.

  I waited a beat then shook it, but didn’t let go. “I’ll be holding you to that.”

  Hunter gulped and nodded and they scooted out before I could change my mind.

  I laid my head on the table. My voice was muffled by my arms. “Will she be all right?”

  Sam rubbed my back. “She’ll be fine.”

  I straightened. “I’m not ready for this.”r />
  She ran her fingers through my hair soothingly. “I know.”

  “He better not hurt her.”

  “He won’t.”

  “He’s gonna try to kiss her.”

  “Uh-huh.” She straddled my lap, squeezing between the table and me. “Will it be like this?” She laid a kiss on me which had my mind spinning.

  “God, I hope not. I should go stop them.” If I intended to say anything more, it was swallowed in her next kiss. I moved my hand to her neck and returned the kiss with vehemence. She had the ability to obliterate everything else. I lifted her and set her on the table’s edge, then scooted my chair back and stood. I leaned over her, seeking her lips again. “You better be ready for me, woman. I’ve got some aggression to get out.”

  She smiled in that way she had. “I can handle anything you’ve got, baby.”

  And she did. Easily.

  Chapter 13

  Elise

  The second the door closed behind us I burst out with, “I am so sorry.” If Kyle blew this for me he would see someone prone to violence for sure.

  Hunter did a one-shoulder shrug. “It’s okay.”

  I stopped walking. “No it’s not. He was a—a…jerk in there.”

  He squinted at me. “I thought you said he would like me. In fact, I think the words you used were something like, ‘he’s a real sweetheart.’” He jerked his thumb toward the door. “That was no sweetheart.”

  “I know. I’m so sorry. He’s never been like that before.” I felt horrible for what Kyle had put him through. “If you don’t want to go out with me, I understand.”

  “Are you kidding? I won.” He took my hand. “We’re celebrating.” Then his gaze became soft. “And I wasn’t making shit up when I told him those things. I really like you, Elise.” He ran his hand over my hair in the back. I think he would have kissed me, if he hadn’t gone through an interrogation minutes before which would have made the Nazis proud. He smiled. “Come on.”

  We walked to the car and he opened my door. When he strolled around to his side and I was alone in the car for a few seconds, I had to remind myself to breathe. He said he liked me several times now. My heart was soaring so high it was almost painful. He took the heat for me—very unnecessary heat and Kyle’s gonna hear about it later—but he justified our relationship. Is that what we had? A relationship? What about the girl in the yellow swimsuit? I kept trying to push her to the dark corners of my mind. To forget about what happened. But it wouldn’t remain buried. His hands helping her secure her top. Why did it need to be secured, I kept asking myself? Those secret little smiles they shared. The intimacy which rolled off that five second moment in time was like a tidal wave. He would break my heart. I knew it. But at least I’d enjoy whatever time we had together.