“We?”
“You and me. He bit me, Minz. He dumped me in the water!”
“We don’t know that for sure.”
Lucia slammed her fist on the chair’s armrest, ripping it. Then she covered her mouth with her hand, looking angry at herself for her own anger. “I need him gone. I need him gone, I need him gone, I need him gone…”
“We will,” Mindy promised her, kneeling down in front of the chair. “When we’re sure. Could you live with yourself, El, if you got the wrong guy?”
“Living isn’t a problem I have at the moment.” Lucia took her hand away from her mouth, fisted it on her brow instead. “Remember that metal door in his basement, the locked door? He has to have something down there. Maybe he keeps the bodies in there. Maybe I’d be in there, if he hadn’t run out of room…”
“Okay then.” Mindy clapped her hands. “We go in, we check the basement—if it’s a coffin and blood then…we’ll get him.”
Lucia scoured Mindy’s face for the truth in her words, and Mindy looked up at her, trying to be as sure of herself as possible, trying to assure Lucia with her own confidence. Lucia took out her cell phone. Checked something. “The Dragons have a game tonight. Bakula will be out all night. While he’s at the stadium, we go to his house, we break in, we find out. But we have to go right now.”
“Okay,” Mindy nodded. Her hand was on Lucia’s knee. “Okay, you got it, it’s on.”
She stood, her hand slipping off Lucia, and went back to the dining room.
“Where are you going?” Lucia asked, standing after her.
“To get a tourniquet ready. I still have to draw some blood.”
Lucia shook her head. “It’s him. We’ll kill him, and then I’ll be normal. Everything will go back to normal. So you don’t have to…”
“Do you want me to?” Mindy asked, wondering why she even cared, what she had to prove, and still wishing Lucia would just—this one thing, couldn’t she have one thing? Lucia needing her in one tiny way… But Lucia shook her head again.
Mindy heard a long, shuddering yawn from Seb in the other room. He was up, leaning in the passageway, a finger hooked in his mouth and pulling at it like he was adjusting it. Mindy didn’t know what that was about.
“We’re going to slay a wampyr?”
“No,” Mindy said just as Lucia said “Yes.”
“Good. I’ll get my crossbow.”
“Why do you have a crossbow?” Mindy asked, instantly regretting it.
Seb had already turned to go. “My nana gave it to me,” he said over his shoulder. “For the punks.”
“Punks?”
“That better not mean black people,” Lucia added.
“No, punks, of all races. They wear leather jackets and mohawks, drive motorcycles, terrorize people for wallets and gas!”
“Like Mad Max? That was a post-apocalyptic movie. Seb, you know there hasn’t been an apocalypse in America, right?”
Lucia shrugged. “Well, the Baby Boomers…”
* * *
By default, Mindy drove, taking Seb back to her place to pick up her vampire-hunting kit from when she thought Lucia was a vampire…well, more of a bitch about being a vampire, at least. Lucia promised to meet them there, and when Mindy finished gathering her things in a black duffel bag, she came out to find Lucia by her ride, shadowboxing a little and cracking her neck.
“Okay!” Lucia said, sounding vaguely like she was launching into a cheer routine. “You’ve got your go-bag, Seb’s got his crossbow, now let’s girl up—Seb, you can man up, at your discretion—and go get our Buffy on.”
Mindy tossed her bag into the trunk. “Let’s say for a moment that Bakula is the vampire. Do you even know how to kill him? Because I’d like to know that before we piss off a vampire.”
“Do I know how to kill him?” Lucia whined mockingly. “While you were being all dial-up, I’ve been on broadband, whittling stakes, gathering silver, experimenting… Don’t be jealous…” Lucia held up her hand. Mindy just now noticed that it was inside a mitten. She chided herself for being a bad friend. Hermione would’ve noticed.
Lucia took the mitten off. Her fingers had that melted plastic look people got from being in fires. “Holy water’s not much fun. Garlic doesn’t do shit. Natural running water is like acid. So, after we cut his head off, we’re tossing him in a river just to be sure. If that doesn’t kill him, at least it’ll really hurt.”
“Well…at least you’ve still got garlic bread,” Mindy joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Lucia pulled her mitten back on. “Never mind, game’s starting, let’s go.”
* * *
They listened to Rihanna and Eminem sing “The Monster” on the ride over. Sang along to Rihanna’s vocals, beatboxed over Eminem, parked on the gritty gravel a fair distance from the house. In the evening, with the lake so low, they didn’t have much company. Just a family in the picnic area, using the public grill to fry some burgers. Mindy had already thought up a plan. Seb, dressed in a spare Dragon Pizza shirt of Mindy’s, would go up and ring Bakula’s doorbell. If he were home, for whatever reason, he’d say, “Oh, I didn’t order any pizza,” Seb would apologize for getting the address wrong, and they’d call the whole thing off. If he didn’t answer the door, then the mission was a go.
Seb gazed at the huge lakefront property as he tucked in his borrowed shirt, seemingly embarrassed that Mindy’s size fit him. “When is moat being put in?” he asked sardonically, earning a grin from Lucia.
“Remember,” she said, “if he answers the door, whatever you do, do not go into that house. Leave as quickly as you can. If at all possible, turn and run.”
“Do not worry,” he told her. “I am protected.” He fished a crucifix out of his shirt collar, making Lucia wince, then gathered up the “delivery” and started through the trees. His red shirt didn’t pick up the light for long.
“And I always thought it was dumb in those old movies when the vampire hunters went to stake a vampire at night,” Mindy thought aloud. “Guess it doesn’t make much of a difference.” She looked over at Lucia, who was lost in deeper thought than Mindy had ever given her credit for. “So, you and Seb…”
“Yeah, he’s cool. Not as cool as me, obviously. There’s this girl in Theater Arts he has a crush on, so if you want him—”
“I don’t.”
Lucia ducked her head like she was hiding her teeth. “I can’t wait to have this done, Minz. I feel like I’m having a tumor cut out of me or I’m getting liposuction or something. All this bullshit, I’m just gonna crap it right out. I’m gonna be normal again. I’m gonna wear dresses and have big fluffy hair, and my kids are gonna ask me about my weird goth phase. I wish this had happened during school picture day. That’d be cuh-razy!”
“I got you a present,” Mindy said. “I guess you could call it a good luck charm.”
“Great. I love presents,” Lucia said listlessly. Then Mindy saw her lift her head, force a smile for Mindy’s benefit—she could tell when Lucia was faking. “Is it a pony?” she said, with her smallest smile.
Mindy dug into her purse, took out the velvet box she’d bought that afternoon.
Lucia’s eyes bulged.
She doesn’t think it’s a ring, does she? Mindy opened it up before she could make some joke about that. Inside was a little golden heart, attached to two gold chains. Mindy picked up the small piece of jewelry, worked the catch, and broke the heart in two along the crack designed down the middle. So one half read Best friends and the other read Forever.
“They had a lot of these for sale, but this one—I like the idea, I guess. That getting your heart broken just means you have a piece to give to someone else.”
Lucia just stared at it. For once, Mindy couldn’t read her. She continued, babbling on, almost wishing she could stop.
“I know how religious you are and how much it must hurt that you can’t wear your cross, but—you said God wasn’t listening to you. Well, I have one half
and you have the other. So you know that—someone is always there to listen to you. About anything.”
Lucia’s lips bunched up, hiding her teeth once more.
“Okay,” Mindy said, “please tell me if you hate it. Don’t pretend to like it, I still have the receipt, I won’t be upset if you get a refund…”
“I love it,” Lucia interrupted. “Go ahead. Put it on.”
She bowed her head for Mindy to slip one-half over, watched as Mindy put on hers. She was staring. Mindy looked down, saw how the half heart caught the light.
“It looks really pretty on you,” Lucia said, her voice heartfelt, but dull somehow. Like it was coming over a bad connection.
“It looks really pretty on you too. Really, really pretty.”
A tear slipped down Lucia’s cheek. Lucia’s hand blurred, but Mindy saw it before she wiped it away.
“What’s wrong? If it’s not the necklace—”
“I still have it. My cross,” Lucia said. “I just can’t look at it.” Her voice was suddenly so thick, so strangled with emotion that Mindy didn’t know how she could ever have wished it wouldn’t be so neutral.
“Lucia. El…”
“Why doesn’t God want me?” Lucia asked. Demanded. “It’s not my fault—I didn’t ask for this. So, why is He punishing me? I took care of my mom, I took care of my brothers—so I slept with a few boys, does that make me a bad person? It’s not like I…like I enjoyed it, really. It’s just what you do with him when he’s your boyfriend. I tried to be good, Mindy. I really, really tried.”
Lucia’s hands were flying around, gesturing with each word, each sound, so fast that Mindy imagined them coming off or something, hitting herself in the head, hurting herself. So, as soon as they slowed, she reached out with her own hands and laced them with Lucia’s. She didn’t mean anything by it. She just saw Lucia upset, playing with her hands, and thought how much Lucia needed something to hold onto.
Lucia let out a long, soft breath. She was very still. Everything was very still. Even her eyes, looking at Mindy like she hadn’t seen her a million times before.
“I don’t think it’s God that—hurts you,” Mindy said haltingly. “Maybe it’s just the shape of the cross—the symbol. Maybe… I read this book where it was a psychological thing. Psychosomatic. The vampires who had faith when they were alive, they saw the symbols of their religion as clean and pure, and themselves as filthy, unholy. That’s all it is. Not God. God is love. It’s just your head that gets in the way of the love.”
In a rush, Lucia was out of the car, spilling out, down, dropping to her knees and the gravel. Mindy got out herself, just as the car rocked with the violence of Lucia shutting her door. Mindy left hers open, the car beeping with some outrage or another as Mindy ran after Lucia, who was twenty feet away, staring out at the dark water like the sight had caught hold of her.
Lucia heard her get close and wheeled on her. Her eyes shone black inside the red, black holes in the night. The rest of her was so dark, Mindy didn’t know how she could tell Lucia was crying. She just knew.
“You drive me crazy, you know that? I don’t know how to…make anything out of you. Where to put you in my head. How is it the most perfect days of my life are being your friend—and now, you’re the only thing keeping me sane—but you also hurt. I hold you in my heart and it hurts. If you were a boy…if you were any other girl…I’d know what you were to me. I’d have a word for it. But you’re you and I’m me, and I don’t know what that means!”
“Does it need a word?” Mindy asked.
“It doesn’t feel safe without one.” She took off her mitten, massaging her injured fingers. “I’m sorry, it’s not you, it’s my hand. I have a booboo, I’m acting like a bitch—”
“No, no, it’s fine. Would some blood make you heal faster?”
Lucia smiled fondly, tears still flowing. “How do you say shit like that with a straight face?”
“Because you need me to.”
“Yeah,” Lucia answered her, “it would, but there’s no time.”
“You could take some of mine.”
Lucia turned away.
Mindy took a deep breath. “I can understand not asking me. But I don’t understand how I can offer—of my own free will—and you’d rather hurt someone else to get it. Am I that bad?”
“You know that’s not it.”
“No, I don’t! I know what I tell myself, try to convince myself, but I want to hear it from you. Please. Tell me.”
“It’s not…important. I’ll be cured soon anyway.”
“What if your hand doesn’t heal then? What if you’re scarred for life?”
“Then I’ll be scarred!” Lucia pulled her mitten back on. “Seb’s coming back. Guess nobody’s home.” She walked by Mindy. “Thank you for the necklace.”
CHAPTER 15
In the night, without the lights on, the house was like a glass poured full of wet shadows. Icy furniture swam inside, shifting into view with the waning of the moon, liquid and bony. Looking through that dark glass, Mindy felt like she was looking inside some alien creature, watching its organs pump and beat and breathe. She went to the front door and bent to the lock, Seb and Lucia standing behind to shield her from being seen from the lake. Not that there was anyone there.
She took out the lockpick kit she’d ordered from an eBay seller in China for a buck last year. Mindy has seen this whole thing done in a GIF. She just had to use the pry bar to hold the bottom of the lock down, then try all the tumblers with the toothy thing. She clicked the first tumbler, nothing happened, the second tumbler, nothing happened, the third tumbler…
Where had she heard that the first tumbler in the sequence was always one of the first three tumblers in the lock? Maybe she should start over, try them more carefully. Was there something else you were supposed to do? Maybe she should look at that GIF again. She could probably find it on Google with her phone.
“Have you ever picked a lock before?” Lucia asked.
Mindy ignored her.
“Because when you said ‘I’ll pick the lock,’ I assumed you’d picked a lock before, and that’s why you were on lockpicking duty.”
“I have the lockpick, don’t I?” Mindy said, which she counted as still ignoring Lucia because she was stating a fact, not engaging with her.
“You didn’t answer my question. Seb, she didn’t answer my question.”
Seb rubbed his arms against the cold. “Mindy, have you ever been lockpicking before?”
“Have you guys?”
“If I had a lockpick, I would’ve,” Lucia answered smartly.
Mindy tried the fourth tumbler. She’d show them. When she opened the door, she’d give them a look right off Natalie Dormer’s face and say something clever like—wait, was this the fourth tumbler or the third one?
“Okay, you want to know the truth?” Mindy went back one, tried that tumbler. None of them seemed to do anything. “When I got them, I tried picking the lock on the backdoor of my house, I spent like ten minutes on it, then I got bored and watched Netflix. The point is, I may not be the Lockpick Queen of Central Texas, but I know the basics, and now I have incentive.”
“Yeah, slaying a vampire.”
Shutting you up, Mindy silently corrected her. “Uh-huh.”
“Can I try?” Lucia persisted.
Mindy quickly prodded each tumbler. Stupid fucking—“I can do it!”
“Just let me try, alright?”
The last tumbler wiggled but did nothing. Mindy moved out of the way. “Be my guest!”
Lucia kicked the door open. “Whaddya know, it was unlocked.”
Seb and Mindy went in together, inviting Lucia after them.
Lucia led the way. Mindy guessed when it came to night vision, becoming a vampire was better than eating carrots. She tried to follow, but Lucia was going too fast and Mindy didn’t want to trip over anything.
“Lucia!” Mindy whispered harshly, bringing her to a halt. “It’s too dark.”
Lucia extended her hand. Mindy took it, held hers back to Seb. He grabbed it before they took off, Lucia dragging both of them behind her. She looked back at the weight and rolled her eyes. “Like the fucking Hardy boys and Nancy Drew.”
“I’m Nancy Drew,” Mindy said.
“No, I’m Nancy Drew!”
“Shut up, Seb.”
Still, it was so dark that Mindy pulled Seb’s hand into the crook of her arm and took out her phone. The meager light was just enough to illuminate the floor under them. Beyond that, it was like walking at the bottom of the ocean. Lucia’s skin was a ghastly white in the blue glow. Her eyes electric when she looked back. They came to the stairs, and Lucia finally slowed down for Mindy. She took them one at a time, Mindy following at a snail’s crawl.
“I remember everything about that party,” Lucia said. “The taste of the chips, the beer, the weed, the dancing, the music. I would’ve died to hold a party like that. It was amazing. But I wasn’t having fun. And I remember thinking, what does this party need to be perfect? That’s when I called you, Mindy. And ordered the pizza.”
Mindy jabbed Lucia’s hand with her thumbnail. Lucia gave a tight-lipped smile.
“I remember everything good about that night. Why do I want the bad too?”
At the bottom of the steps, Seb unslung his crossbow from his shoulder and aimed it at the door, ready for whatever popped out. Good to know some of his time in America had been spent watching horror movies.
Lucia tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. She pushed the door open. Mindy held her lit phone up. They looked inside.
“Well, it seems you’ve discovered my secret,” Bakula said, appearing on the stairs behind them, dripping with something wet and viscous and dark that glistened in the pale light… “I use bronzer,” Bakula admitted cheerfully, walking down in his bare feet and bathrobe. “Now, why are you in my house?”
Seb silently pushed the door further open. The light feeding the thick leaves of marijuana plants filling the basement from front to back spilled out. Bakula was running a grow operation.
“Why, heck, that’s no reason to break my door. I know my middlemen take their fair share of a markup, but you can understand how people wouldn’t understand a teacher selling direct. What can I say, I’m a big believer in hemp. Me and Willie Nelson. Frees the creativity, reduces stress, tastes better’n beer—heck, I think if we just let you kids smoke your reefer, our test scores would be up. All this worrying about SAT, TAKS, CIA, DUI… I wouldn’t put a stray dog through it.” Reaching behind them, he pulled the door shut. “Like I said, can’t sell to you, can refer you to a dealer who’ll give you a fair price. He’s black, so I hope you don’t mind the stereotype. Is that boy holding a crossbow?” he asked of Seb suddenly.
Ex-Wives of Dracula Page 20