Deciding Tomorrow

by Ericson, Renee

  Since they’re both occupied, I swim to the edge near where Ruby and Bennett, our little blessed one, continue to dig in the sand. I love watching them together. After we had the girls, I was more than content with our family. Pregnancy was such a stressful time for us, given our fears, that I was happy to be gifted with our beautiful girls.

  However, my wife insisted that there was more to come. We got pregnant again about a year after the girls were born, only to experience another miscarriage. While it was hard on all of us, we leaned on our love to help us through the loss, knowing that our angel baby had a brother or sister to keep our lost little one company in heaven.

  I feared trying again, but Ruby was stubborn to the end, like she knew there was another child waiting for us. A few years later, we became pregnant with our son, and he was born on a Wednesday morning almost two years ago. I’ll never forget her expression the moment she held him in her arms.

  She said with the utmost sincerity, “Love is patient,” using my words from years ago.

  Later, she told me that Bennett was always the child she saw for us. While she loved our girls so much, part of her heart had been anticipating the son with dark hair and hazel eyes.

  He’s amazing and completely worth the wait.

  “Why doesn’t Bennett come in, too?” I call out to them. “The water’s warm.”

  “Okay,” Ruby says back, dropping her shovel and picking up our little boy.

  They enter into the pool area, and she sets him down beside her, taking off his shirt and shoes. He’s a little timid, but he’s brave. I’m sure he can do it.

  “Come on,” I tell him gently. “Jump. It’ll be fine. I’ll catch you.”

  Ruby’s eyes drift away, and she bites her bottom lip.

  I wonder what she’s thinking about.

  I tap the surface of the water, creating tiny ripples near my waist, as I grin reassuringly. She smiles back, warming my heart and bringing peace to my soul.

  I look to Bennett again. “I promise to catch you. No need to be scared.”

  He’s still unsure.

  “C’mon, son.” I lift my arms, extending them outward, toward Bennett. “Daddy will catch you.”

  He shifts his weight from side to side.

  “Mommy,” I gently say.

  Her head snaps in my direction, seeming almost surprised that I’m calling her that. I’m not sure why since I’ve addressed her that way many times.

  “Tell him it will be okay,” I add.

  Squatting down, she consoles our son, holding his soft, chubby fingers. “Daddy will catch you. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

  “I’m scared,” his tiny voice tells her. “It’s scary.”

  Ruby peeks over her shoulder with so much happiness. I couldn’t be more delighted by the sight. My wife is with the boy she was meant to have.

  “There’s no reason to be frightened,” she continues to tell him. “Daddy loves you and will make sure you’re safe.” Ruby kisses his cherubic cheek. “Mommy loves you, too.”

  Hand in hand, they walk to the pool’s ledge, preparing to jump.

  “It’s okay,” I say, arms spread and ready to catch him. “You can do it.”

  Bennett releases his mother’s hand, bounces in place twice, and then launches himself straight into my waiting arms. His tiny legs cause a splash to erupt when they hit the water, splashing Ruby where she stands.

  “You did it!” I cheer, holding our little guy in my arms. “I knew you could.”

  Ruby comes to the water’s edge and plunges her feet into the pool.

  “Girls,” she calls, wrapping her arms around her middle.

  Holding our son on my hip, I turn around and proudly watch my darling daughters race toward us. They’re both strong and adamant and remind me so much of their mother.

  Bennett kicks his feet, splashing us both, causing Ruby to launch into a fit of giggles. Hope and Fate climb onto my back, breathless and happy, joining our family.

  This is my life.

  These are my loves.

  Author’s Note

  It all began with a run and a girl by the lake.

  What started as a conversation in my mind about a life overshadowed by insecurities turned into an epic love story on its own accord. I have lived with Ruby in my thoughts for well over two years, so it’s a little strange to say good-bye to her and Brent, but I know they’re happy in the truest sense.

  Writing a series that crosses genres and age levels was never my intent. A young adult novel, new-adult topics, and adult storylines all come with different voices, and showing that progression was definitely a challenge at times. However, it was the only way to get this couple where they needed to be. I always wanted their story to have a realistic feel, so that span of time and aging was necessary.

  Throughout this entire series, I drew upon moments in my own real-life experiences, but this was never an autobiography in any way. My stories and characters are a part of me, but they are not me.

  These characters, all of them, have been a family—my family. I have loved them all and continually hope the best for them throughout all their ups and downs. It was forever my goal to show their humanity and beauty, even if they were in the wrong. They are flawed. They are real. They are only human. Life is a challenge, and we learn from our mistakes.

  Finally, I want to take a moment to touch on the fantastic, all-encompassing love shared between Ruby and Brent. Is such a love possible? Absolutely. It exists. For some, it’s just waiting for the right moment to be found.

  I should know. It found me.

  Acknowledgments

  Ruby and Brent have had many people with them along this journey, and so have I. Some of them were there from the beginning, and others have joined the fold along the way. In any case, we wouldn’t have made it without them.

  Alyssa—I will never forget that moment I handed over the first chapter of After Tuesday for you to read. No one had laid eyes on my words before you. You have been there from the beginning, through my many tears and falls with this series, and you’ve helped me so much with bringing this story full circle. There are smatterings of you throughout this entire series, especially in this final installment. Those tiny suggestions helped to shape this story into the heartfelt tale that it is today. You are beautiful, kind, and giving, and there are no words for all you have done for me along the way. Thank you for your ear, your eye, and your friendship.

  MJ—It’s been such a pleasure sharing my imaginary family with you. With each chapter you read, you provided impeccable feedback that helped to shape this story in ways you might not even know. In one instant, you pushed me, asking for more from Brent, even though I wasn’t sure I was ready. That moment—in the hotel with this beautiful couple—would never have happened if it weren’t for you suggesting that something seemed to be missing. I will forever call that my MJ chapter. Thank you for loving these two so much, for listening to my random babbling, and for becoming a wonderful friend along the way.

  Mendy, Amanda, Cassie, and Maranda—Your cheering and your support helped to lift me daily. Thank you for answering my many questions, even the silly ones, and for your little tidbits, the messages, and the swooning along the way. I love you all.

  Evette, Kimberly, Bobbie Jo, Laney, Cherry, and Peggy—I can’t express how much I appreciate you taking the time to look at this book in its many forms. I appreciate your eagerness to read this story and your help with sorting out the details. Thank you.

  Jovana, my wonderful editor—Thank you for taking my words and making them shine and flow.

  My husband—I just love you so much. Thank you for you.

  Thank you to everyone for loving Brent and Ruby and their beautiful journey.

  Finally, Patience—We generally don’t see eye-to-eye because I often refuse to listen to your point of view, but you are persistent. Thank you for not giving up on me. This story and my own journey would have been much more frustrating without you.