American Diva

by Julia London

  The pharmacy did have a surveillance tape, which they handed over to the police. And Michael called back with some interesting news of his own. “Richard Later had a little run-in with the law about fifteen years ago,” he said. “He was stalking an old girlfriend. She said he wrote her some nasty letters, although it appears the actual letters are missing from the file.”

  “That’s interesting.”

  “What’s interesting is that he caught up to her one night, talked her into coming over to his place, then got all weird on her. He was wearing a vampire outfit and tried to bite her.”

  “No shit?” Jack asked.

  “No shit.”

  “Huh,” Jack said, thinking. “Wonder why that didn’t show up on the background checks we ran on everyone at the beginning of the tour?”

  “Because his girlfriend refused to press charges. She didn’t like it, but didn’t think he needed to go to jail for it. He moved from Chicago to L.A. after that.”

  “I think we have our guy,” Jack said. “It will take a little more to make a case, I suspect, but he’s our man.”

  “Stick close to your girl,” Michael said. “I’d hate for her to get bit.” He laughed at his own joke.

  They talked a little longer about work, but when Michael started nosing around about Audrey, Jack cut the conversation short. “Gotta go, pal,” he said. “We’ve got a show tonight.”

  “Spoilsport,” Michael groused as Jack hung up.

  Jack called Audrey just as she’d managed to convince everyone that they could leave her alone. Lucas was especially resistant, but when Audrey threw a fit, he made his way to her door. “You’re being foolish,” he said, pointing a finger at her. “This is not me directing your life, this is just telling you what is.”

  “Go tell someone else what is,” she said irritably. “It wasn’t a bomb, they have a good lead, and I don’t need to be watched like a toddler, okay? So please go.”

  Lucas went. She hadn’t even locked the door behind him when her cell rang.

  “I need to talk to you,” Jack said without preamble when Audrey answered.

  “Now?” She was drained and felt completely off-kilter.

  He paused, and she wanted to kick herself for sounding so reluctant to see him. “I had hoped now. You’ve got a couple of hours before you need to be at the amphitheater.”

  “I know, but . . . okay,” she said, giving in.

  “I’m coming over.”

  Audrey threw the phone on the bed. It had been a very trying day—what she did not need right now was someone else telling her what to do. She just wanted to get to the amphitheater and do her show and then get the hell out of Little Rock.

  Moments later, she heard his knock on her door, and Bruno began his hysterical barking.

  Audrey marched to the door and looked through the peephole; Jack was standing on the other side, one arm propped against the jamb, looking very impatient. She threw the door open and glared at him.

  “Uh-uh,” he said, waving a finger at her. “Not that look.”

  “What look?”

  “The aggravated look,” he said as he walked in and shook the door from her grip, letting it slam closed. “The diva look.”

  “I don’t have a diva look,” she said. “I’m just exhausted.”

  “Oh yes you do,” he said, and put his hand on her waist. “Not a good idea when I’m in this kind of mood.”

  “What kind of mood?” she asked, confused.

  “This mood,” he said, and yanked her into his chest and kissed her with the same sort of longing Audrey had felt for him the last few days. She wished for all the world she could just sink into him and forget about everything else, pretend that life beyond that door didn’t exist.

  Unfortunately, it did exist. He lifted his head, tweaked her nose. “What’s the matter?”

  “What’s the matter? I’ve been a little busy being interrogated,” she said, catching a breath as he tweaked her nipple through the fabric of her shirt. “And stalked. And oh yeah, someone left a bomb at my door. And I haven’t slept.”

  “It wasn’t a bomb.”

  “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck . . .”

  “Okay,” he said, “you’ve had a rough day. But I’ve got an idea to make it a whole lot better.”

  “Does it involve Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream?” she asked.

  He laughed. “It could. Are you alone?”

  “No. You’re here.” Thank God.

  He smiled again. “Smart ass,” he said, and lowered his head to hers again at the same moment he swept her into his arms and carried her across the room. He tossed her onto the king-sized bed and leapt on after her, breaking his fall with his arms on either side of her. When Bruno jumped up to join them, Jack pushed him off again. “Not now, Bruno. You have her all the time.”

  In spite of her promises, in spite of the many confused feelings she’d been having lately, Audrey could not resist his touch. She hadn’t even realized how badly she wanted him until the moment he touched her.

  He wrapped one leg over both of hers, then slid his hand up her ribcage and down again. “I tried to call you.”

  “Like I said . . . I was a little preoccupied.”

  He moved his hand to the waist of her jeans and flicked open the button. “Girl, you don’t even know what preoccupied means,” he said, and unzipped her pants. He slipped his hand inside, sliding his fingers between her legs. Audrey sighed with pleasure as he began to massage her. Jack covered her shirt and breast with his mouth, teasing her with his teeth.

  Everything flew out of her head—her promise to Lucas, the bomb scare, her show. Somehow, Jack could push the entire world out of her room so that it was just the two of them. She felt incapable of anything when he touched her and she let herself go, falling headlong into the moment. She moved so that he could pull her pants from her body and push her legs apart and press his mouth to her panties.

  It was incredibly sexy—she was soon sliding down the slope to fulfillment. He suddenly rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so she was on top. “Take my jeans off.”

  Audrey smiled pertly and undid the button of his jeans, then unzipped the fabric that strained over his erection and, with his help, pushed them down his hips. Audrey straddled him, rubbing against his erection.

  “Take off your shirt,” he said low, and greedily eyed her body when she did.

  “And the bra.”

  Still rubbing against him, she reached behind her and unfastened the bra. Jack grabbed it and pulled it off her before surging up and taking her in his arms to kiss her. One hand slipped between their bodies and began to stroke her. “Can you guess how many times I have thought about this in the last forty-eight hours?” he asked softly.

  “As many times as I’ve thought of you?” she responded as she pushed her hands through his hair. He groaned and took her breast into his mouth. She sighed with pleasure, let her head drop back, reveling in his touch.

  He grabbed her by her hips and lifted her up, closing his eyes as she slid down his body, burying him deep inside her, moaning as she began to move on him.

  Jack leaned back and took her breasts in his hands, his eyes closed as he enjoyed the way she moved on him. She braced her hands against his chest to move faster, feeling the pressure building within her body.

  Jack suddenly surged up again; Audrey squealed with surprise when he rolled them over so that she was on her back. He grinned, buried his face in her belly for a moment, then flipped her over, onto her stomach. He slipped his hand under her abdomen and lifted her up, so that she was on all fours, and leaned over her, his mouth on her shoulder, one hand on her breast, the other sliding down between her legs.

  “I’ve been going crazy thinking of you,” he said. “I can’t sleep, I can’t eat . . . I count the minutes until I can be with you again, just like this,” he said as he moved between her legs. He kissed the back of her neck, massaged her with his hand. Audrey was breathing raggedly now,
wanting him inside her, pushing against him and grinding her body against his hand.

  Jack drew a line with the tip of his tongue down her spine as he spread her thighs with his. He guided himself into her, slipping in slowly, groaning with the exertion of holding himself back to be gentle.

  “No,” Audrey moaned, pushing back against him. “Don’t be easy, I don’t want easy. I want you to fuck me.”

  A growl of approval escaped Jack and he pushed hard inside her, causing Audrey to cry out with pleasure. She dropped her head and began to match his rhythm, pushing back against him with as much force as he slid into her. Her back arched; she indulged the lustful desire that was roaring through her veins, feeling her body pitch toward an explosive release.

  The stroking of his body was as frantic as the stroking of his hand. She moved wildly against him, moved with animalistic abandon, her body burning in every place they touched. He put his hand at her nape and urged her to bend down, then bent over her, his mouth in her hair and on her neck, his fingers moving magically against her flesh. “You make me hot as hell,” he said hoarsely. “God, how I’ve wanted you like this.”

  Audrey panted, building to a release, all but sobbing with pleasure and bucking wildly as her body erupted. She cried out with the strength of it, and was followed a moment later by Jack as he thrust into her once more.

  With his forehead on her shoulder, he snaked his hand around her waist, anchoring her to him as they both fought to catch their breath, and rolled them onto their sides. His breath was in her hair and on her skin as he pulled her to him.

  Audrey closed her eyes and dreamily relived it all, her life held at bay.

  But then Jack stirred and kissed her shoulder and pushed her hair back. “I love you, you know,” he said, his voice low and hoarse with emotion. “I’ve never loved a woman like I love you.”

  Audrey opened her eyes; reality came flooding back in, carrying with it her feelings, scattered into a million unrecognizable pieces, and taking the fog from her brain. “I . . . I love you, too.”

  His hand stilled from stroking her belly. “A little more conviction would be nice.”

  “I, ah . . . I guess I was thinking about the show,” Audrey said, and moved away from him. His hand slid away from her body as she moved; her skin felt cold where he no longer touched her.

  “Wow. That’s romantic,” Jack said, sounding wounded.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean that like it sounded,” Audrey said as she slipped off the bed and picked up her pants and pulled them on. Honestly, she didn’t know how she meant it.

  Jack propped himself up on his elbow, watching her. “What’s going on?” he asked quietly.

  “Nothing,” she said, but she realized that she couldn’t seem to look at him.

  “Nothing? We just made love. And here I am assuming that after yesterday, we’re in a better place. Aren’t we?”

  “Sure,” she said. She stole a glimpse of him, saw the look of utter disbelief on his face. “Not exactly,” she admitted. “It didn’t go as I’d hoped.”

  “Wait . . . what?” he asked, scrambling off the bed and grabbing his jeans.

  “I can’t do it, Jack,” she said, throwing her arms wide. “I have tried every which way, and I can’t seem to break his hold over me.”

  “How can you say that?” he exclaimed. “It’s not like he has you in chains.”

  “Not physically,” she said. “But emotionally. I have all this guilt and he . . . he’s begged me to consider the impact of this on him.”

  “The impact on him?” Jack echoed angrily. He thrust one leg into his boxers and jeans. “No one likes to lose, I get that—but he’s holding you hostage.”

  “Jack, please try and understand.” She was so weary of begging everyone to understand her. “I don’t hate Lucas like you do. I feel a certain responsibility toward him, and he is begging me—”

  “Of course he is,” Jack snapped. “He’ll try everything he’s got to keep you, but not for the reasons you think.”

  “I know the reasons,” she said irritably. “I am not a naïve child. You’re right; he needs me for his career right now. But I know him better than you, and I know that he just needs me to make this transition.”

  “Oh for God’s sake,” Jack said as he thrust his second leg into the jeans. “Not a week ago, the asshole couldn’t give you the time of day, and if he did, it was to tell you how to run your life. And now suddenly he cares about you?”

  “Jack—”

  “No, Audrey, no Jack this time. You and I have something really amazing, and you know it. I didn’t want it to happen like this any more than you did, but now that it has, I can’t live off the grid, waiting for the one moment in your day you have to spare for me.”

  “That’s not fair! I’m on tour!”

  “And since you and I made that amazing connection, you have spent more time holding Bonner’s hand than seeing me.”

  Audrey whirled away from him, feeling her insides begin to knot again. “This is not easy, Jack! Do you understand that? I didn’t set out to hurt Lucas, and I don’t find it so easy to just tell him to get lost after all these years! I can’t even remember a time I was even on my own. And there is my business to consider . . .”

  “I’m not suggesting I take his place in your business—is that what you think? Is he trying to convince you that I want to manage you?”

  “No!” she said as she struggled into her bra. “But that’s something I have to consider! I am too busy to manage my career and I need someone to do it.”

  “Bonner?”

  “No, no, no! I’m just confused about a lot of things right now.”

  “Oh God—”

  She suddenly whirled around and grabbed his face between her hands. “Jack, listen to me. Someone would like to see me blown to bits, Lucas can’t handle the change in our relationship, I am on a tour with three dates just added, I have to be in the studio by October, and I love you, Jack, I do, but I need to figure some things out.”

  There. She’d said it. She’d said what had been rumbling around inside her the last twenty-four hours, making her ill with anxiety. The pain in Jack’s eyes was difficult to bear, but she had to say what was true.

  “Okay,” he said, curling his fingers around her wrist, “I get it.” He pulled one hand from his face. “I understand,” he said softly as he pulled the other from his face.

  She’d said what she needed to say, but now she panicked. She didn’t want to lose Jack. “No, you don’t get it; I can tell you don’t get it. I hit so high so fast, that I got lost in the spotlight. I have endorsements I don’t even know about, I have product lines for products I don’t use, I’ve signed with a major label but they don’t like my songs. I am surrounded by people I can’t trust, and I don’t know who I am anymore!”

  His jaw clenched, but his eyes moved over her face as if he really was trying to understand it.

  “I’m not saying that I don’t want to be with you, but only that I need a little time to think through some things.”

  “What is a little time?”

  Audrey blinked. She had no idea. A day? A month? A lifetime? “I . . . I don’t know,” she stammered.

  He looked stunned. He nodded dumbly as he buttoned his shirt.

  “Say something!” Audrey begged him.

  “I can’t say I understand,” he said slowly, tucking the shirt into his jeans. “But if you want time to think, I’m not going to stop you. And I won’t lay a guilt trip on you.” He looked up again, his blue eyes swimming with hurt. “Take all the time you need.” He moved for the door, pausing to slip his feet into the sandals he’d worn.

  “Jack,” Audrey said as he reached the door.

  He turned partially and smiled thinly. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, and walked out the door.

  She’d wanted alone? She just got it.

  Thirty

  Jack moved through the rest of the day feeling almost as if his spirit had been left in that hot
el room.

  He went through the motions of security, but left the heavy lifting to Ted.

  What really sucked was that Jack was so taken aback by how deeply Audrey’s decision had wounded him. It was as if he and Audrey had spent years together instead of a few weeks—the hurt felt just as deep.

  But he loved her, and that, too, went remarkably deep. Part of him felt as if he would die without her. Another part of him felt like a colossal schmuck for having fallen in love with her to begin with.

  He should have trusted his initial instincts; he should have stayed the hell away from her.

  They had only two weeks left on the tour, and as far as Jack was concerned, that was two weeks too long. He had to distance himself from her. He couldn’t be around her and not be with her. He had to find the space where he could be himself, and not some damn dog moping around the door, wanting to be let in.

  Just before show time, Jack assembled his security team and made some changes: Ted would be Audrey’s go-to guy. Jack would focus on other aspects, such as the loading and unloading of equipment. The rest of their team—five in all—would rotate through the various points of their security just as they’d been doing all along.

  “You sure about this?” Ted asked, squinting curiously at Jack. “She’s not going to like it.”

  “I have my reasons,” he said.

  “Okay, boss,” Ted said with a shrug. “Whatever you say.”

  Yeah, whatever he said. Jack left them to it, and took his new place for the show, as far from the stage as he could get. Tonight, when Audrey looked to the stage wings for him, she wouldn’t see him, she’d see Ted.

  The show proved to be excruciatingly painful, even at a distance. Jack could not hear Audrey’s voice and not feel the desire bubbling up. He could not listen to the lyrics she’d written and not be moved. And perhaps it was his imagination, but he was fairly certain she had turned up the performance a notch. She seemed to sparkle more than usual, her dancing crisper, her music outstanding.

  Talk about kicking a man when he was down.

  When the show was over, he didn’t go to the party room like he normally did. He left that to Ted and went instead to the buses and trucks, which would leave for Dallas at 4 a.m., just as soon as the set was broken. Along with the stage manager, Jack watched carefully as every bit of equipment was broken down and loaded.