Sweet Burden

by K L Ogden

  “Because…just because…” the few words tumbled out from between her lips.

  “You’ll be alright. Obi won’t let anything happen to you.” Guri eyed her curiously.

  “That’s not it.”

  He raised an eyebrow. The way he was watching her made her feel like he was seeing directly into her mind. “Then what’s the problem?” He tried to hide a smile, but it hinted at the corners of his mouth.

  “We’ll be alone,” she blurted out.

  His grin emerged. “That’s kind of the point.” His eyes still grazed over her with inquiry.

  Hitomi’s body trembled as she replayed last night in her head. She had been kissing him so intensely. She hadn’t felt like herself. She was never one for putting herself out there and being confident. She had always thought of herself as awkward. But last night she was strong and self-assured. If Obi hadn’t stopped her, she wasn’t convinced she wouldn’t have pressed things to go further.

  “What if I…you know, hurt him again?” she stuttered with a bit of embarrassment.

  Guri’s face almost appeared to be entertained. “You don’t want to, do you?”

  “Of course not,” Hitomi shot back horrified.

  “Then you won’t. You’re aware of your energy now. You should be able to control it. Or at least somewhat subdue it.”

  She played with the edge of her sleeve with her free hand. She couldn’t think of anything else that she wanted besides a day alone with Obi, but things could not go the way they had last night. Hitomi would rather never touch him than hurt him ever again. “How do I control it?” she asked quietly.

  “Think happy thoughts,” he answered simply.

  Her head shot up and her eyes narrowed at him again. “That’s what got me in trouble the first time.”

  Guri could no longer contain his amusement and burst out laughing. Hitomi huffed and rolled her eyes in irritation. She stomped past him towards the kitchen.

  “I’m sorry Hitomi,” he said as he followed her. “It’s just this is a crazy situation. Something I really never thought I’d be witness to. I apologize. I know it’s not funny to you.”

  She peered sideways at him as she opened a few of the cupboards looking for something to put the flowers in. “What’s so funny about it? Hasn’t a human ever loved a death god before?” The words were out of her mouth before she was able to realize what she said. Guri didn’t seem affected by the words at all and she figured he could most likely sense the love for Obi inside her.

  “Oh, it’s happened before. But you aren’t exactly the typical human. Anyways, you wanted to know how to prevent yourself from letting your energy take over. You could try thinking of cold things.”

  “Cold things,” she repeated with a nod. “I can do that.”

  “But don’t turn yourself into a block of ice,” Guri warned.

  Hitomi’s eyes widened as her hand stiffened on the cabinet handle. “Is that a possibility?”

  “Just another joke Hitomi. Unless you can control water, you can’t transform yourself into a block of ice.”

  Her mouth straightened into a line trying to hide a smile. Reaching over she smacked his arm. “Not funny.”

  Guri stifled another laugh and reached up into a cabinet above the refrigerator. He pulled down a tall pitcher and held it out to her. “Here. The flowers would look nice in this.”

  “Thanks.” She took the pitcher and placed everything on the counter. “Just wait until you find some girl you like. I can’t wait to make fun of you.”

  He shook his head. “You’ll be waiting awhile. Girls don’t dig grey hair.”

  “Never know,” she shrugged as she filled the pitcher up with some water. Guri helped her cut the stems of the flowers and arrange them neatly in the pitcher. She placed the flowers on the center of the table as Guri finished up packing. “Where is Obi anyway?”

  “Um, working on something. But I forgot, I was supposed to tell you to wear something suitable to hike in.”

  Fighting the urge to walk over and kick him, she trudged off to the bedroom. After rifling through her limited options of clothing, she decided on jeans and a grey turtleneck sweater. She got dressed and sat down on the bed to pull her sneakers on when there was a knock on the door.

  “Come in.”

  The door creaked open and Obi peeked in. She could feel her entire body relax just from seeing his face. He pushed the door open and walked in with his hands behind his back. “I’m glad you’re finally awake. I was starting to get worried.” Hitomi wasn’t able to find the right words to say. Before she was able to even open her mouth, he was across the small space and kneeling down at her feet. “I got you a little something for today.” Her eyes widened at his posture. From behind his back he brought out a pair of hiking boots.

  She took in a deep breath, realizing she had completely stopped breathing. “Oh, thanks.”

  “You don’t like them?” Obi replied as he watched her quizzically.

  “No, I mean, yes. They’re great. Very…practical.”

  Obi raised an eyebrow and set the shoes on the ground. He untied her shoes and took them off, then slipped on the boots. He tied them up for her and returned his eyes to hers. “How do they fit?”

  She wiggled her toes. “Fine. Perfect.”

  “Good.” He stood up and held his hands out to her. Hitomi placed her hands in his and he pulled her up from the bed. Obi snaked his arms around her waist and leaned down planting a kiss on her forehead. “Are you up for a day of hiking?”

  “Sure.” She shrugged.

  “I thought you could use a day out of this cabin. Unfortunately it’s not really safe to go fly anywhere, but the area around here is pretty nice. Consider it a pre-birthday day.”

  Hitomi smiled up at him. “Sounds like a perfect day,” she replied somewhat nervously.

  “You should probably get something to eat beforehand. I’ve got a few things I need to do before we go.”

  “Alright.” She nodded as he let go of her and left the room. She could see in his demeanor that even he appeared nervous about something. Hitomi glanced down at her new boots and moved her feet around. She let out a sigh and went into the kitchen area. She could hear Guri and Obi talking on the porch but couldn’t make out exactly what they were saying. She made herself something to eat and sat down at the table. Looking at the flowers, she smiled at the thought of a day alone with him. Her nervousness was being replaced with excitement.

  After she ate, she started doing the dishes when Guri came in. “Obi’s waiting outside for you.”

  “Oh. Okay.”

  “I’ll finish those for you.” He nudged her to the side. “Go.”

  She bit at her lip and smiled. “Thanks Guri. See you tomorrow.” Hitomi leaned up and kissed his cheek. After drying her hands, she smoothed out her clothes and went out to the porch. Obi was standing with his back to her and his hands rested up on the railing. His gaze was tilted up to the sky. She was still trying to get over the fact that the most gorgeous guy she had ever seen was interested in her. And now, he was waiting for her.

  “It looks like the rain is going to hold off for awhile. We should get going before it rains or gets dark,” Obi said without turning around.

  “Let’s go then,” she managed to say as her pulse quickened just looking at him.

  He finally turned his head. “I have something else for you.” He shifted his body around and revealed a wrapped box in his hand. It was wrapped in bright green paper with a curly turquoise bow on top. “I thought you could use this today.” He held the box out to her.

  “Obi, you shouldn’t have got me anything.”

  “Well, it’s your birthday in a few days. I was going to wait until then, but I think you’d like this now. Besides, so much is going to be going on that day.” Obi walked closer and held the box out again. She tentatively took the box and walked over to the swing. He followed behind her and they sat down.

  She ran her fingers along the paper and o
ver the ridges of the ribbon. It looked so pretty, she hated to tear the paper open. But she was so intrigued with what Obi would possibly get her. After undoing the bow, Hitomi carefully peeled back the tape at the edges and pulled back the paper. Her surprise and excitement almost caused her to drop the box.

  “Do you like it?” Obi asked.

  “Obi,” Hitomi gasped. “This is amazing.” She opened up the box and pulled out the new camera.

  “Everything you need should be in the box. If you don’t like it, I can exchange it.”

  “Like it?” She inspected the camera and looked up at him. “I love it. But you shouldn’t have. I know how expensive…”

  He held up his hand stopping her. “Don’t worry about that. I just wanted you to have something that you’d like.”

  She nodded her head. “I more than like it. But this means you have to let me take some photos of you.”

  “There’s really no reason to. I’m not planning on going anywhere,” he replied seriously.

  She smirked and returned to the camera. Hitomi inserted the battery and memory card, and then turned it on. After adjusting a few of the settings, she turned and pointed it at Obi. She snapped a photo before he could protest, but then he was quick to stand up. Hitomi thought of the photos she had taken of him before and how she wished she still had them. After putting the camera strap around her neck, she got up as well leaving everything else sitting on the bench. She walked over to him and took his hand in hers.

  “Are you ready to go?” Obi peered down at her and squeezed her hand.

  “Um hm.” She held the camera with her free hand and followed him off the porch. They started walking to the right of the cabin, avoiding going straight ahead.

  “I saw some interesting things this way,” he commented as he adjusted his pace so she could keep up with him. “Any time you want to stop, just tell me.”

  She gave a nod and peered up at him. She couldn’t seem to stop looking at him. Something about him was different today. His eyes appeared brighter. He almost seemed to be in a good mood, but there was something still weighing on his mind.

  They walked for a little while until Hitomi spotted a few things she wanted to photograph. Obi stood behind her as she snapped a few pictures. She reviewed her photos and turned around to him.

  “I have to tell you something,” she said and then let out a deep breath. He gave her a nod to go ahead. “After I first saw you a few times on the bench, I took some photos of you.”

  A smile hinted at his lips. “I know.”

  “You knew? How did you know?”

  “You weren’t very good at hiding it.”

  Hitomi frowned. “Well, I guess it doesn’t matter anyway. They were damaged so I don’t even have them now.” She started walking again and Obi easily caught up with her. They continued further into the forest until they reached a small brook trickling down the wooded ground. After snapping a few photos, she joined Obi who was sitting on a fallen tree watching her. “You seem like you have something on your mind.”

  He reached over and took her hand in between his. “I was just thinking if you’re confessing things I have some stuff I need to tell you too.”

  “Oh really?” She studied his face curiously.

  “About those photos you took, I’m the one who damaged them.”

  “You were in my room?”

  “Yes.” He nodded. “And that wasn’t the first time or the last time. I used to check on you most nights after I first saw you. I was always so afraid you would wake up and find me, but at the same time I wanted you to know I was there. That night you thought you were dreaming when you opened your eyes and saw me sitting there, I was really there.”

  Hitomi wasn’t sure how to take this news. She knew she should be irritated and somewhat disgusted, but she couldn’t be. It made her even more comforted to know that he was there. “When did you first see me?” she asked.

  “In the morning. I was at your school and you were rushing into the building. You fell and cut yourself. I followed you home at the end of the day.”

  Hitomi recalled that day only weeks ago. As she walked home she continued to feel like she was being watched. “Why couldn’t I see you?”

  Letting go of her hand, Obi rubbed the back of his neck and turned to her. “I’m able to make myself invisible.”

  Her eyes widened. “Invisible? Why didn’t you tell me that before?”

  “It didn’t really seem to matter. After the first time I touched you, I always wanted you to see me.”

  Hitomi reached up and touched her forehead. She remembered the morning that she woke up and felt like she had been burned. “You touched my forehead,” she stated. “I could feel it the next morning.” Obi gave a nod as he looked back down at his hands. She stared at his profile studying his mood. He appeared deep in thought, as if his mind was elsewhere. “Is there something else on your mind?”

  “No. Well, yes. But nothing is going to distract me from spending this day with you.” Obi turned back to her and reached up resting his palm against her cheek. Heat traveled through her body causing her skin to tingle. “Do you want to start heading back?”

  Her head answered with a nod, but all her body wanted him to do was kiss her. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and kiss him, but the events of last night still had her fearful. Obi was up quickly and pulling her up with him. He took her hand as they started back through the woods.

  “We can take a longer way back,” he commented.

  His body seemed so tense and he hadn’t even kissed her all day except on the forehead. Hitomi began assuming that what happened last night had affected him more than what he was letting on. Even though Guri said he was fine, obviously he wasn’t. Something was bothering him and all she could figure was that last night upset him or hurt him in some way.

  She took the opportunity on the way back to try to check out the back of his head, searching for any reminders of the events. But there was nothing. She wanted to ask him again what exactly was wrong, but she knew she’d get the same answer. Besides, she really didn’t want to talk about last night.

  The forest was extremely quiet. Only a few chirping birds could be heard over the cracking of their footsteps. From above, Hitomi could see the sky was beginning to darken. The bit of light that was able to creep through was turning greyer. Eventually she started to feel bits of rain dripping on her skin. Obi had been practically mute the entire walk back, but when the rain started he informed her they were almost back. She covered up the camera as best she could as their pace quickened.

  Hitomi found herself staring down at her feet plotting each next step trying to be careful not to fall. Obi tightened his fingers around hers as he suddenly stopped. She lifted her head just in time to avoid running right into his back.

  “Why the sudden stop?” she asked as she inspected the camera for any damage.

  Obi let go of his grip and moved behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Because we are back at the cabin.”

  She brought her eyes up forward and gasped. The cabin was completely lit up with candles. White cylinder candles lined the porch railing and there was a faint orange glow coming from the cabin windows. “Obi? How…?”

  “I had some help. When we get inside, dinner should be about ready.”

  “Wow. No one’s ever done anything like this for me. Ever. Not even close,” she said still in awe. “You’ve made today absolutely amazing.”

  “That was kind of my goal. C’mon.”

  They hurried up to the cabin and ran up the steps. Hitomi brushed some of the water from her as she looked down at her muddy feet. She assumed she looked like a complete mess and was feeling overdue for a shower.

  “Think I have time to get cleaned up before we eat?” she questioned. He nodded as he tried to dry himself off. She left her boots by the door and rushed into the bedroom. Grabbing a pile of clothes, she then went across the main room and into the bathroom. She stripped down trying to
avoid looking at how hideous she probably appeared in the mirror. The hot water beat down on her skin loosening her muscles. If she hadn’t thought about Obi waiting for her, she could have stayed in the shower for hours or at least until the hot water ran out. She got out of the shower feeling refreshed. She started to dry off and was squeezing the water out of the ends of her hair when there was a knock on the door.

  “How are you doing in there?” Obi asked.

  “Um, fine.” Hitomi quickly pulled the towel around herself and cracked the door open. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  “Take your time,” he replied as he stared at her. She gave him a smile and shut the door. She leaned back against it as butterflies stirred in her stomach. She wanted to peek back out and see if he was still there, but she knew he was. He was still standing there looking amazingly gorgeous with his now piercing green eyes and his dark hair hanging slightly in his face.