‘You called my radio show yesterday evening, about your nephew, John. He has cerebral palsy, and you’d like to know what opportunities there are for him to play football.’ It was always good to give people a few details, just to reassure them that this wasn’t a hoax call. ‘I have Alex Jackson with me...’
‘You do?’
Alex leaned over towards the phone. ‘Hi, Nina.’
‘Leo... Thank you for calling. I didn’t think you would. I’d love to talk...’
‘We’re here to listen. Tell us about John...’
* * *
It had taken three hours to work their way through the list. Longer than usual, but then last night’s show had been popular. Alex had done most of the talking, and Leo had taken the opportunity to watch her. She didn’t so much speak into his phone, but shone into it. He wondered whether little trails of light would leak back out of it when they were done and he put the phone back into his pocket.
‘Last one?’ She consulted the list. ‘What does that star by her name mean?’
‘Under eighteen. Look, it says she’s seventeen.’
‘Right. But she’s old enough to consult someone medically on her own if she wants to.’
‘Yep, but not necessarily on the radio. We need parental consent for under sixteens, and if they’re sixteen to eighteen we have an extra duty of care.’
Alex nodded, grinning. ‘So let’s fast-track this one. I’ll get stroppy about a seventeen-year-old calling a phone-in show because she needs help and then not getting to speak to anyone. You’ll tell me you have some kind of procedure and she’s been well looked after. Then I feel like an idiot.’
‘She’ll have spoken to a counsellor. But you’re not an idiot.’ Alex’s stubborn belief in him was beginning to grow on Leo, and it was becoming harder to cling to the reasons why he shouldn’t believe in himself.
‘That’s that dealt with then. She’s definitely a pink.’ Alex had used pink highlighter for follow-ups, green for everyone who hadn’t requested a call, and yellow for those who’d raised important issues that she’d like to talk about on the next programme. The list was beginning to resemble a Neapolitan ice cream, and Leo wondered whether Alex would like the Italian ice cream parlour in Knightsbridge. He saved that thought carefully as he dialled the mobile phone number.
‘Hi, this is Leo Cross. Is that Carys?’
Alex had leaned in a little closer to the phone with each call they made. This time her hair brushed his cheek, and Leo shivered. The sound of an alarmed squawk came from the phone, and when they both jumped he caught the faint but alluring scent of her perfume.
‘Carys...?’ It was an effort to keep his voice steady.
A pause, the sound of a TV in the background.
‘I can’t talk...’ The words were whispered down the line.
‘Okay, that’s fine. Would you like to talk another time?’
‘Yes. Please... I want to...’
The hairs on the back of Leo’s neck prickled. He’d worked on helplines for long enough to know when someone really wanted to talk, and he guessed that the girl needed to do so in private.
‘What time’s good for you, Carys?’ Leo looked at his watch. ‘Would you like me to call you in an hour?’
‘Yes. Thanks.’
‘That’s no problem. I’ll call you at eight, and if I don’t get through to you I’ll try again tomorrow.’
‘Yes. Good. Thanks.’
The line cut before Leo could say anything else and he looked up into Alex’s gaze.
‘What do we do now?’
He smiled. It was so easy to smile into her honey-brown eyes, and when he did so he always saw some spark of a response. ‘I’ll wait and call her back in an hour.’
‘Is that going to be okay? You’re not meant to be anywhere else, are you?’
Actually, he was. The solution which presented itself curled its way around his mind, beckoning him to at least ask. ‘I have a drinks party in Hampstead but if I go home now and change, then I can call Carys and then leave straight away. If you’d like to come back with me, we can talk to her together. If you’re not busy tonight.’
‘No... No, I’ve got nothing on. Are you sure that’s okay?’
‘It’s fine. And it’s starting to get cold in here anyway.’ The encroaching chill of the evening was finally making itself felt, despite the portable radiator. ‘I’ll drop you home afterwards; it’s not far out of my way.’
‘If it’s no trouble... It sounds as if Carys wants to talk.’
‘Yeah, it does.’ Leo rose from his seat, stretching. ‘Let’s go then.’
* * *
His car was parked outside the office on a meter. Alex was no connoisseur of cars, but this one had the kind of shine that made the paintwork seem almost liquid under the streetlights. And she recognised leather seats when she saw them.
‘This is where you live?’ He drove into the entrance to an underground car park, beneath a glass-clad tower block, less than half a mile from the radio station.
‘Yes.’ He slid into a parking bay and switched off the engine, leaning towards her slightly. ‘Fast-track. You wonder why I came all the way to your place last night and then back again and I point out that we had some unfinished business to talk about and that the car was the best place to do it. You see my point, but think I’m an idiot.’
When Leo was in this mood, he couldn’t fail to make her smile. ‘I don’t think you’re an idiot.’ Alex got out of the car before she could betray what she really did think.
The flat was gorgeous. On the top floor, the city lights spread out behind floor to ceiling windows. The seating area was designed to impress, with a huge glass-topped table between black leather sofas that were long enough to lie down, stretch right out and still not be able to touch both ends.
Red leather armchairs gave the room a pop of colour. Diamond-shaped bookshelves, where the books were stacked in a zigzag pattern, a touch of class. A huge abstract painting on one wall, swirling blues and greens, was the only thing that didn’t seem to conform to rigid straight lines.
He helped her out of her coat, throwing it down on an armchair and dropping his own jacket next to it, then dumping his keys on the coffee table. Clearly the almost obsessive tidiness of the place had more to do with whoever cleaned it than it did with Leo.
‘This is beautiful, Leo. What a view...’
‘Yeah. I took one look out of the window and knew I had to have this place. The view’s different every day, and I never tire of it.’
Alex wandered over to the window, drinking in the panorama of London at night which lay beyond the roof terrace. ‘It’s wonderful. Very tidy.’
He grinned. ‘I don’t get much time to make a mess. I only stay here during the week, when I’m in town.’
‘And at weekends?’
‘I have a house down in Surrey, but it’s a long drive after working in the evening. Make yourself at home.’
It wasn’t that easy to make herself at home in a place that so obviously wasn’t one. ‘I’m torn between the view and the sofa.’
He chuckled, moving one of the red leather armchairs over to the window. ‘Here. Best of both worlds. Would you like something to drink?’
‘Do you have any juice?’
‘I expect so. I’ll look.’ He turned, trekking across the enormous room to a doorway which lay at one side of it. Alex flopped down into the armchair. Leo’s apartment had told her nothing about him that she didn’t already know. Beautiful, well thought out and sophisticated, it betrayed no clue as to the real nature of the man who lived there.
* * *
His interior designer had told him that the space by the window was for circulating during drinks parties, and the seating area was for sitting. Leo usually conformed to tho
se instructions but it was typical of Alex that she should subvert the plan within two minutes of arriving here.
He found an unopened carton of juice in the fridge and poured two glasses. Moving a side table over to where Alex was sitting, along with a chair for himself, he wondered why he’d never thought of doing this before.
She’d stripped off her heavy sweater and scarf to reveal a thick checked shirt and she was rubbing at her leg fitfully, her hand slipped down inside her boot.
‘Okay?’
‘Yeah. My phantom foot itches. If I rub the other one, it usually goes away.’
She’d talked about her leg on the show, fluently and without any embarrassment. But Leo had left the subject alone when they were off-air, leaving Alex to dictate what was said. Mentioning this small detail seemed like a breakthrough of some kind. Not a big one but the beginning of some kind of trust.
‘You get that a lot? Phantom pain?’
‘No, just occasionally. And it’s more of a sensation than a pain now.’
‘And rubbing the other one works?’
‘It seems to. Fools the brain into thinking you’re doing something about it.’ She grinned at him. ‘It’s a trick they taught me in rehab.’
Leo hesitated. In any other circumstance this would be crossing the line he’d drawn for himself. But if he concentrated on the medical aspect, tried to learn a little about what worked and didn’t work...
‘I do an outstanding foot massage.’ It was just a matter of not succumbing to temptation and getting carried away.
She flushed a little, snatching her hand out of her boot. ‘Outstanding sounds...a bit like overkill. A bit of a rub is enough.’
Maybe that was what friends really were for. Stopping you when you were about to rush headlong into a mistake. And right now it felt as if there was no just about this friendship. It had the potential to be as big and beautiful as the glittering panorama they sat beside.
He should leave her alone to rub her leg in peace if she wanted to. Leo looked at his watch. Another twenty-five minutes before they were due to call Carys, which would give him time for a shower that was cold enough to bring him to his senses. ‘I’ll get going, then. Are you okay here, or can I get you anything?’
She shook her head, motioning towards the window. ‘No, I’m fine. I have company.’
CHAPTER FIVE
IT WAS LIKE sitting in a sparkling bubble. She could see the city below her but she couldn’t hear its din. The air outside had to be freezing but she was warm and relaxed. Leo would be taking a shower around now but, in the substantial structure, she couldn’t hear the sound of water running.
Just as well. She didn’t want to think about him in the shower, emerging from the shower... Anything even remotely connected with showers was way out of line. The idea of his touch, let alone what a massage could do, had made her feel giddy.
Alex slipped her foot out of her boot, closing her fingers around it and rubbing gently until the phantom feeling in her other leg subsided. The high tone of a phone penetrated the wall of silence and she ignored it. Leo had kept checking his phone, seeming anxious about missing the call, and it was no surprise when the tone cut off abruptly and she heard the muffled sound of Leo’s voice from the bedroom.
The conversation seemed to be taking a while. She looked at her watch. Another ten minutes before they were due to call Carys. She couldn’t hear his footsteps on the thick carpet, but the sound of his voice seemed to be getting closer.
‘Carys... Would you like to talk to Alex? I can pass the phone over to her if that’s okay with you...?’
Alex twisted round in her chair. Carys must have picked Leo’s number up from the call he’d made earlier, and not been able to wait for him to call her back. Suddenly, the whole world seemed to tip in a dizzy, vertiginous burst of rapture.
Leo’s hair was wet from the shower, spiking on the top of his head as if he’d just rubbed it hastily with a towel. Perhaps the one that was currently wound around his slim hips, and the only thing he was wearing. She’d imagined that his body was perfect, but it was so much better than that. Strong, well-muscled, with smooth tanned skin. Perfect would have been an understatement.
And the best thing about it was that he was entirely unaware of it. Leo was concentrating on the voice on the other end of the line, and nothing else seemed to matter to him. Innocent as the day he was born, and yet far more delicious.
‘Okay. Would you like me to call you back...? Yes, I’ll do it straight away and then put you on to Alex. All right...’
Leo walked over to where she was sitting, which was just as well because Alex was paralysed with something that felt suspiciously like lust. He was focusing on his phone and she took the opportunity to give him one last look. Fabulous. He moved so well, the right mix of control and almost animal grace.
‘It’s Carys. Will you have a word with her while I get dressed? She lost her leg six months ago and she needs to talk...’ He switched the phone to loudspeaker and put it down on the side table next to her. Alex caught the scent of soap and skin, and swallowed hard.
Six rings and then the call went to answerphone. Leo shook his head, cursing softly. ‘Come on, Carys. Answer—I know you’re there...’
He bent over, stabbing the phone with his finger and redialling. He was so close, one hand on the arm of her chair, and, although she was staring at the phone, the curve of his bicep nudged into her peripheral vision. But all he seemed to care about right now was that Carys hadn’t answered her phone.
The line connected and Alex heard the sound of breathing. Leo smiled into the phone.
‘Hey, Carys. Thought I’d lost you for a moment there. Are you still okay to talk?’ His voice was friendly, like a concerned big brother.
‘Yes... Sorry...’
‘No problem. I know this is hard for you. Alex is with me now, and I think it would be great if you two talked a bit.’
‘I’d like that...’ Carys’s voice quavered down the line.
‘Hi, Carys. Alex here. Thanks so much for getting in touch with us.’
‘Alex...’
Carys sounded as if she was crying now, and Alex leaned in, closer to the phone.
‘I was wondering if I could tell you a bit about myself.’ Carys didn’t answer and Alex’s gaze found Leo for a moment. He nodded her on. ‘Okay. I lost my right leg below the knee when I was nineteen, in a car accident. It’s a lot to cope with, isn’t it?’
‘I feel as if...all the things I wanted to do...’
‘Yeah, I know. I felt like that too. And everyone says that you can still do them, but they don’t know how hard it is, do they?’
‘No. I keep falling flat on my face.’
‘Has your physiotherapist taught you how to fall without hurting yourself...?’ Alex almost didn’t notice that Leo was moving away now. She concentrated hard on the phone, listening for Carys’s reply.
* * *
Leo scrubbed the towel across his head and flattened his hair with a comb, then reached for his clothes. Dark trousers, a dress shirt. He’d leave the bow tie until later. Slipping on his socks, he picked up his shoes without even inspecting their shine, and walked back into the sitting room. Alex was still talking to Carys.
He hung back for a moment, just listening. Alex was articulating all of the feelings that Carys had told Leo about, letting her know that she wasn’t alone. Just the right balance of understanding and hope. Somehow it touched him, in a way that he’d felt nothing could ever touch him again.
‘I’m worried about my dad. He was driving, and we had an accident.’
Alex’s face was fixed in an expression of intense concentration; she was staring at the phone. ‘And how do you feel about that?’
‘I keep telling him it’s okay and it wasn’t his fault, but he doesn�
��t listen. Last night I heard him and Mum arguing again, and he was crying.’
Leo almost choked. Carys hadn’t told him that, and if she had he wouldn’t have known what to say. Because last night, sweating hard in the gym, he’d found tears in his eyes, thinking about all the what ifs that Alex had told him he shouldn’t think about. He walked silently over to his seat by the window and sat down.
‘Carys, it’s really good that you’re talking about this. Does your dad talk to anyone?’
‘I don’t think so. He and Mum are divorced.’
‘Okay. I’m going to suggest something, and I want you to tell me if you think I’m on the right track. You’ve got a lot to cope with at the moment, and you can’t help your dad as well. But there are lots of people who can. We have a families group, and they’re really friendly. Might he come to something like that?’
‘No, I don’t think so. He says that he’s okay, and that I’m the only one who matters now.’
‘Well, I disagree. I think that both you and your dad matter, a very great deal.’ Alex shot Leo a glance. Just one moment, but it seared through him, as if she were talking to him, not Carys.
‘I asked him if he’d bring me to one of your meetings, the ones you were talking about on the radio yesterday...’
‘And how does he feel about that?’
‘He said it sounded like a great idea. But... I don’t know if I can do all the things that you do...’
Alex chuckled. ‘The whole point of it is that it doesn’t matter what you can or can’t do. We’d love you to come and just watch, maybe meet a few people. Some of us might be able to do a bit more than you, and some not so much, but it’s all about valuing each other for who we are.’
‘I’d like that.’
Carys’s voice was steadier now, her manner more self-assured. Alex had given her something that Leo couldn’t, a practical way forward, and the courage to take it.
‘Okay, well, why don’t you think about it, and I’ll call you tomorrow. We can talk about what you want to do a bit more then, if you like.’
‘I can’t always talk... My mum doesn’t know I’m calling...’
The Doctor's Diamond Proposal Page 5