He’s a cheat and a liar. I allowed myself to think there was something going on when there wasn’t. The shame and embarrassment boil over and all of a sudden I’m crying again. I let myself cry in the shower for a few moments, the warm water mixing with the tears on my cheeks.
Pull yourself together.
This is ridiculous. He’s a coworker. We hooked up, it was a mistake. If he’s an adult we will both be able to move on.
Still, I dread the thought of facing him today. Not at this conference, trying to be professional and pretend that nothing happened. I rinse myself off and grab a clean towel from the rack. I’ll just text him and say I’m feeling sick. I don’t care if he believes me or not. I can’t face him. I can’t look him in the eye.
Sighing, I resign myself to the fact that I’m going to have to be an adult about this. I can’t run and hide. The best I can do is just face him this morning and make it clear that yesterday was a mistake. I wrap my towel around myself and go sit on my bed scrolling through my phone to find Valerie’s name. I lay back in bed as the phone rings. She answers after a few seconds.
“Em! How’s San Diego? How did the presentation go?”
“The presentation was good,” I start, pausing.
“Uh oh..” Val says, sensing my hesitation. “What happened.”
I grimace as the words squeeze out of me. “I may or may not have slept with Dr. Davis.”
“WHAT.”
“I know.”
“WHAT!!”
“Val, I don’t know what happened.”
“I thought he was a jerk!”
“He was, he is!” I sigh.
Valerie starts laughing and I imagine her face scrunching up and her shoulders shaking, they always do when she finds something really funny.
“You just couldn’t keep it in your pants, could you Em!” More laughing. “I should have known.”
“I didn’t mean to!”
“You just slipped and fell on his dick?”
I’m the one who’s laughing now. “Something like that.”
“Well…. How was it?”
I can’t help smiling when I think about it. “It was good. I mean… really good. Like, intense and intimate and.. I dunno.” I pause again.
“So.. are you going to do it again?”
“No!” I answer too quickly. Val says nothing and I sigh. “I sort of dozed off afterwards and when I woke up he was in the bathroom. He was on the phone… with another girl.”
“Oh, Em…” Val’s voice is softer. I hate feeling like she’s pitying me.
“I feel like shit. I didn’t know! And now I’m the other woman, you know? That’s not me. I would never help someone cheat. Sure, I like to go out and have fun and I’ve had my fair share of casual hookups but that’s different. This is crossing a serious line.”
“Emma, you’re not a bad person. This is 100% on him. Are you… are you sure? What did he say?”
“He was saying ‘I love you’ and making plans to hang out and go for fucking ice cream.”
“Oh…” We’re both quiet for a while and then Val speaks again. “Maybe it’s not what you think. Maybe it was his mom or something.”
“His mom? I wasn’t born yesterday Val,” I say sarcastically. “No one talks to their mother like that, and if it was his mother than the best thing for me to do is RUN.” She laughs.
“Ok, ok. So what are you going to do?”
“I’m trying to psyche myself up to talk to him this morning so it’s not mega awkward for the rest of eternity while we work together.”
“At least he’s quiet and hates talking and won’t try to be your friend. Silver lining?”
I snort. “Yeah. Anyways I gotta get ready. I’ll text you later and tell you how it went.”
“See ya.”
I hang up the phone and put it down next to me, closing my eyes and sinking into the bed. I stare up at the ceiling and take a deep breath. I’m still wearing my towel, wet hair spread out around my head. I’d better get up and face this head-on. It’s the only way to salvage the situation.
Chapter 27 - Elliot
I shut my hotel door behind me and turn down the hallway towards the elevators. I haven’t heard from Emma at all since she left, so I’ve just let it be. I won’t go chasing after her if she isn’t interested in this. I’m a few feet from the elevators when I hear a door opening behind me. I turn around and it’s her. I don’t know whether to be angry or excited or turned on when I see her walking towards me.
She’s dressed in a black pencil skirt and a pale pink blouse that hugs her shape perfectly. She looks so good I try not to stare as she walks towards me, hips swinging from side to side. I don’t know how she exudes sex so much, but even the sight of her now makes my cock jump in my pants. I clear my throat.
“Morning,” I start. She holds up her hand.
“I need to say something.” She pauses and looks at me, so I nod. She continues: “Yesterday was.. A mistake. I think it would be best if we both moved on and forgot it happened. I - we - got carried away. We’re colleagues and I think continuing anything beyond that would be inappropriate.”
I try not to betray the pang of pain that passes through my chest at her words. I nod.
“Agreed.”
“Good.”
She turns towards the elevator doors and presses the ‘down’ button. We wait in silence while the elevator whizzes up towards us. The doors open and we both make a move to step through, and then I pause to let her in. I feel unimaginably awkward right now. There’s a chasm between us, wider than the Grand Canyon, and I’d give anything to bridge it. I want things to be like last week, when her smile was easy and she felt comfortable around me.
She’s standing in the elevator, staring straight ahead as we go down towards the lobby. Her shoulders are tense and she’s doing her best to ignore me. I can’t help but trail my eyes down her body once more and then snap my head forward. Finally, I can’t take it anymore.
“You could have said something yesterday instead of taking off like that. At least had the decency to say goodbye.” The anger is growing inside me again at the thought of her disappearing act. “If we’re going to be civil with each other, that seems like a missed opportunity.”
Her head spins slowly towards me. I’ve never seen her eyes like that. They’ve narrowed and they’re shooting flames towards me. I’m almost knocked back by the strength of her gaze, but I square my shoulders in righteous anger.
“What did you just say to me?” Her voice is low, monotone. I don’t care though, who does she think she is! She’s the one who ran out on me! And then she thinks she can dictate the way this is going to go?!
“I’m on board with that being a one-time thing, whatever you want. But it was pretty fucking rude to just disappear while I was in the bathroom. I’d think common courtesy would be to at least say goodbye, especially seeing as we’re going to see each other five days a week for the forseeable future.”
She opens her mouth to respond when the elevator doors ding and open up to the lobby. There’s a large family with kids and bags blocking the exit. Both Emma and I are fuming, suddenly silenced by the appearance of other people. We thread our way through and as soon as we’re outside earshot Emma whispers angrily at me.
“You have some fucking nerve, Dr. Davis,” she spits.
I stop in my tracks and spin towards her. I don’t even bother whispering. I don’t care who’s around, or who will hear.
“Me?! I’m not the one who walked out without so much as a ‘see you later’!”
Her jaw drops to the floor and her eyes are ablaze with fury. It only makes me angrier. How dare she be mad at me!?
“I’m supposed to be nice to you?” She says the word with disgust, as if the mere thought of me fills her with revulsion.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” I hiss.
She takes a step back from me and looks at me, eyes wide, mouth set in a thin hard line.
“
It means, Dr. Davis, that I’m not a fan of being used.”
“Used!? You wanted that just as much as I did.”
“Yeah but I don’t have a girlfriend waiting for me back in New York!”
“What?” What the fuck is she talking about?! My anger is mixing with confusion.
“Oh don’t play the innocent with me. You disgust me.”
She starts stomping towards the exit. I’m seeing red. I rush after her.
“Emma, what are you talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend. I haven’t had one since..” I stop myself.
“Since what,” she almost yells at me, suddenly turning towards me.
I pause. We stare at each other, measuring each other up. Her chest is moving up and down with every breath and I can see a vein pumping in her neck. I crack first.
“Since my wife died,” I finally whisper. I look away, staring at the ground behind her. I feel like the breath has left my body. I’m deflated. I can’t look at her. Finally I drag my eyes back up to hers and she’s frowning, searching my face.
“But…” she pauses. She’s whispering now too. “Who were you talking to last night. In the bathroom.”
My eyes widen. Suddenly I understand what’s happened, why she ran out. The words catch in my throat and my eyes are locked on hers. I haven’t told anyone at work that I have a daughter, no one except Stuart Yates. Emma’s brown eyes are looking at me, through me, trying to understand what’s happening. Finally I take a deep breath and say the words.
“That was my daughter.”
Chapter 28 - Emma
A daugher? I’m dumbstruck. I stand there, mouth hanging open as Elliot’s eyes plead with me.
“I didn’t know,” I say in a hushed voice. I’m embarrassed, ashamed even. I’ve thought the worst of him, and accused him to his face of being a liar and a cheat, and he was talking to his child. The child he had with his wife, who died. If the ground opened up and swallowed me whole right now I wouldn’t complain.
“No one knows,” he responds with a simple shrug. He takes a deep breath and lets it all out, glancing out the doors to the bright sunlight outside.
“I’m sorry,” I finally say. His eyes drift back to mine. They look clear, but I see a deep sadness in him.
“It’s ok,” he responds.
“Not really. I’ve been an ass to you.”
The corner of his lips twitch upwards. “Yeah. For once it wasn’t me.”
I smile. At least we’re on the same page now. I want to move towards him, to wrap my arms around his neck and breathe in his smell and tell him, no, show him how sorry I am. I want to stroke his chest and feel his body against mine but I look at him and I can’t move. We’re both locked in place and all we can do is stare at each other. I’m so embarrassed.
“Do you…” I trail off. “Do you want to grab a coffee or something? We can go to the conference later.” I smile tentatively at him. “I know you probably don’t want to even look at me right now, I’ve been so awful to you.”
He says nothing for a few seconds and then I see his smile creep back towards his face. It starts in his eyes as they crinkle slightly and travels to his lips. It’s the tiniest movement but I can’t help but notice every movement of his face.
“Coffee with you sounds a whole lot better than a conference with a bunch of stuffy doctors.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. “I think I saw a cafe just down the road.”
We head out the sliding glass doors at the front of the hotel and turn down the road. After a few steps I realise that my hand has slipped into his, and we’re walking hand in hand as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. But that’s the thing - it is the most natural thing in the world. It feels right.
We walk in silence for a few moments and I work up the courage to talk again. I use my other hand to brush my unruly hair out of my face.
“So your daughter, how old is she?”
“Ten,” he answers. I glance up and see him grin. “Or ‘almost eleven’ as she always likes to remind me.”
I can’t help but smile.
“Her name is Gracie,” he continues. “She’s so bright sometimes I’m worried she knows too much for her age.” He’s smiling again. It’s like he can’t help himself when he’s thinking about her. My heart melts in my chest and I wait for him to go on. “She’d like you.”
The words make my heart skip a beat. “I’m sure I’d love her,” I reply softly. We get to the corner and see the coffee shop. He opens the glass door for me and I step through. Once we’ve ordered we sit down at a table by the front window. We both stare out at the people walking by. Elliot shifts in his seat and pulls out his phone. He taps on it a few times and then turns it around.
“That’s her.”
I see a picture of Elliot holding a little girl with a huge mane of red hair. Her eyes are sparkling, the same blue eyes as Elliot’s. Her mouth is open wide in a toothy smile, like the picture was snapped in the middle of a laugh. Elliot is looking at her with pure love in his eyes. I glance up from the photo to the man in front of me and smile softly.
“She looks like a firecracker,” I say to him.
“She’s everything to me,” he replies simply and puts his phone in his pocket, going back to looking out the window. We sit like that for a while, looking out the window in silence. I steal a glance his way and realise that it’s one of those natural, comfortable silences. I don’t feel like I need to ask him questions or keep the conversation going. We’re just comfortable being here, together.
“My dad died two months ago,” I blurt out suddenly. Elliot looks towards me, slightly surprised. “It’s been lonely without him. It’s not even like I talked to him every day or anything, but just knowing that he’s gone. Really gone. I don’t know.”
I stop talking and tear my eyes away from his gaze. I don’t know why I told him that. My throat is constricting and I can feel prickling at the corner of my eyes. I will myself not to cry.
“I know what you mean,” he replies. “When Chloe died I thought things would never be right again. For a long time they weren’t.”
I wait for him to go on, to tell me that time heals all or some other platitude but he stops talking. We sip our coffees in silence and I feel like my heart is slowly becoming whole again. It’s scary and exciting, and all I want to do is jump head first into the feeling. I’m sitting with a man that I can talk to. Really talk to. I can be myself and I don’t have to be snarky or sarcastic to be taken seriously.
With him I feel like I can be stripped bare, vulnerable, and he won’t blink an eye. We finish our coffees and stand up together. Walking towards the door, Elliot puts his hand on the small of my back and I lean into his strong body. We step outside and I turn to him, putting my hands on his chest. His muscular arms wrap around me and pull me into him.
Our eyes are locked on each other and nothing else matters. Not the other people on the sidewalk, not the conference we’re supposed to be attending, not the fact that we’re coworkers. We stay like that and the world around us falls away.
His lips dip down and my chip tilts up until his kiss meets mine. Elliot’s lips taste better than they did yesterday, better than any kiss I’ve ever tasted. He pulls me into him and my body fits perfectly into his. My fingers tangle into his hair as our lips interlock. Our bodies fuse together as my lips explore his, crushing together in a passion and intimacy I didn’t know was possible.
My heart is hammering in my chest and I lean into him. He holds me up, supports me, pulls me into his warmth. I never want this to stop, never want to let go of this feeling. This is more than a kiss. With his body pressed up against mine and my arms wrapped around his neck I know for a fact that I’m falling for him.
Chapter 29 - Elliot
We stumble back to my room. My hands have a mind of their own. They’re roaming all over Emma’s body from the cafe all the way into the hotel, up the elevator and into my room. Our lips find each other every chance they get. I can’t g
et enough of this woman.
As soon as the door closes behind us we’re tearing the clothes off each other. I want her. I want to feel her skin on mine, feel her body next to me. I want to smell her, taste her, feel her. I want to be inside her.
The last of our clothing drops to the ground in a heap and our tangled limbs fall on the bed. I’m on top of her, sideways across the bed. My cock is rock hard, pressed into her hip crease. I sit up and lean on my forearm, keeping my weight off her body.
“You’re so beautiful,” I tell her. She smiles almost shyly. I grin - shyness isn’t something I’m used to with Emma.
“Thanks. You’re not bad yourself,” she replies as her finger strokes the side of my face.
My head bends down and I kiss her again, more softly. Her tongue traces my bottom lip and I feel her teeth drag against it. She bites me softly, pulling my head towards her. I fall on top of her and she grinds her hips up towards me. I groan. It feels way too good.
I turn around and pull Emma on top of me. She sits up on her knees and all I can see is a queen. Her hair is wild and curly around her head. Her eyes are bright but half-closed as she looks down at me. My hands run up her stomach and cup her full breasts. I pinch her nipples gently and she closes her eyes, leaning her head back as she exhales. My cock twitches. She’s so unbelievably sexy.
My hand runs further up, tracing the line of her collarbone until it’s around her neck and I pull her in for another kiss. Her lips taste better than anything I’ve had. I want to feel her kiss again and again. She kisses me harder, pressing her lips and her tongue into me. She grinds her hips against me and I can feel her wetness on my crotch. I groan, ready to explode.
As if she can sense how close I am, Emma sits up again and shimmies herself down. I look down at her, heart hammering in my chest. She grabs my hard cock in her hand and starts stroking it gently. Her head dips down and the breath catches in my throat. Then, slowly, she does what I’ve been dreaming of every night for the past two weeks.
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